Dec 29, 2008

text messages 3686-3695

3686. Happy Holiday!!! May you and your family have a wonderful New Year. Enjoy the moment with Christ in your heart. God Bless and Happy New Year to you!

3687. From Home to Home and Heart to Heart, from one place to another, this New Year will bring us closer to one another. Happy New Year!!!

3688. With special thoughts and wishes that God will richly bless your heart, your home and those you love with lasting happiness and God's grace as always. Happy New Year!!!

3689. God's gift to me are people like you. With well-meant prayers, I wishpered my thanks to Him and asked Him to bless you in His own special way. Happy New Year!!!

3690. I thank Lord for blessing me with friends who have touched my life in countless ways through the years. I wish you and your family good health, prosperity and happiness. Happy New Year!!!


Dec 23, 2008

text messages 3666-3685

3666. Life itself is a challenge that we ought to face. You lose some, you win some, but if you never give up, you will discover that sacrifices have the greatest rewards! Merry Christmas!!!

3667. Pray that your loneliness may spill you into finding something to live for... Which would be great enough to die for. Enjoy the rest of the day... Merry Christmas!!!

3668. A morning smile will recharge you with tireless energy to go through the way. Let GOD's providence be a reminder that HE prepared the best for you today. Merry Christmas!!!!

3669. Praise God for a beautiful morning, it may not be an easy day but HIS guidance and love will enable us to push through despite all odds! May you have a wonderful Christmas!!!

3670. When we wake up in the morning we have two simple choices. Go back to sleep and dream. Or, wake up and chase those dreams. Merry Christmas!!

Dec 9, 2008

text messages 3631-3665

3631. Sometimes, God breaks our spirit to save our soul. He breaks our heart to make us whole. He sends us pain so we can be stronger. Sometimes, He sends us failure so we can be humble. He takes everything away from us so we can learn the value of everything we have. I pray that happiness be at your door. May it knock early & leave the gift of GOD’s peace, love, joy & good health behind. God bless! Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!!

3632. Leave something for GOD. But never leave GOD for something. 'Coz in life, something will leave you... but GOD will always be there for you. May you have a wonderful Christmas!!

3633. Wishing you not just smile but laughter, not just happiness but pure joy, not just wealth but heavens treasure and not just silence but God's peace. Happy New Year!!!

3634. There are only five things that you need in life. Good Work, Good friends, Good food, Good sleep and Good Luck. Whatever you're thinking... it's all up to you. Hehehe.. Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to you!!

3635. God will either give you what you ask or something far better that what you wished. Keep on praying and be thankful 'coz God's answers are wiser than our prayers. Merry Christmas!!

Nov 25, 2008

text messages 3616-3630

3616. Life can give you a hundred reasons to cry, but you can give life a thousand reasons to smile. Happy Thanksgiving!!Good Evening!

3617. A fish would never be happy living on land because it was made for water. You will never feel completely satisfied on earth because you were made for heaven! Rev 21:1 - Be happy! Happy Thanksgiving!

3618. One of my biggest rewards is to see your smile and to know that you are happy. I know life is sometimes going BAD but that is why I'm here for you to show that life can be good when somebody cares. Happy thanksgiving!!

3619. The most humbling statement we can say is "I am nothing without GOD" and our most powerful statement is "with God I can do anything" Happy Thanksgiving!! Good evening!

3620. A true friend defines the real meaning of friendship "it isn't based on how many secrets you share,isn't how well you get along nor how much you like each other, isn't how people see you together.. But it appreciates the differences, the gaps, the hindrances, the trials and still a friend looks at you, straight from the heart...without hatred, without judgement, without envy, without criticisms, only pure acceptance and respect. Good Morning!!

Nov 8, 2008

text messages 3596-3615

3596. A candle is a lovely thing. It makes no noise at all but quietly and unselfishly gives itself away with a flame of kindness…just like you! Good Evening!!!

3597. Life may lead us to different roads, meeting new people and learning new things. But one thing is for sure I will never forget the road where I met you! God Bless! =)

3598. No one in this world can dictate to you where you can be happy. If you know where and what it is…go for it. Just remember: Happiness is not a destiny, it’s a choice. Good Morning!!!

3599. I believe everything happens for a reason. People change so that you learn to let go. Things go wrong so that you learn to appreciate them when they are right. You believe less so eventually you trust no one but yourself. And sometimes, good things fall apart co better things can fall together. – Marlyn Monroe

3600. Never let go of anyone that you couldn’t go a day without thinking about. There just might be a very good reason why they’re always on your mind. Sometimes it’s the brain that knows too well what the heart tries so hard to deny.

Oct 22, 2008

text messages 3561-3595

3561. Sometimes flowers grow best under the sun. Others do well in shade. God always put us where we grow best and gives us gives us good people to grow with! Good Morning!!

3562. Being a quitter doesn’t mean you are a loser. Every time you quit doesn’t mean you are giving up. It only means that you have to let go of what you think is UNFAIR.

3563. Love just one person and just taste the rest… hehehe. Good Morning!!

3564. One of the simplest ways to stay happy… “Just let go of the things that makes you sad.” God Bless! =) Good night!

3565. Things in life move with twists and turns and they happen with valid reasons. So if you doubt why something happens to you, stick to this: “We can never learn to be brave and strong if the only thing in this world is happiness.” Goodnight!


Oct 7, 2008

text messages 3531-3560

3531. Those who thank God even in trial turn the burden into blessings. So keep your faith close to your heart and God shall provide the comfort you need. God bless!!!

3532. Some won’t appreciate what you say or do, but as long as you speak honestly from the heart, you’ll be fine. This is not a perfect life, but life loves the person who dares to live it by being real. Good day! =)

3533. Life provides us with many options, go on or give up, hold on or let go, stay or leave, but it’s comforting to know that GOD remains faithful which ever way we go. Good night!

3534. Prayer is the best armor against all trials. A heart to heart talk with Jesus will lessen our burden for HE will always bless those who believe in His name.. Good morning! =)

3535. Contentment is an invisible line… it’s the line between “I need” and “I want” Goodnight!!!

Sep 29, 2008

text messages 3501-3530

3501. Life has it’s best, pains, failure and everything but it is natural. It’s God’s way to teach us how to make one step higher after we fall. Good Morning!

3502. Love is not always a fairytale. There are people who give so much love to those who don’t love them back. There are some people who feel so loved and find out in the end they are fooled. There are some who’s into mutual love but can’t call as there partner as their own ‘coz someone already holds the title. There are some who gave so much love but the others won’t believe ‘coz they always consider your past. There are some who received so much love but can’t seem to move on from the previous relationship or the others just want to play game and choose their playmate. Now which story is yours?

3503. If you’re facing trouble right now, don’t ask “why me?” Instead ask, “What do you want me to learn?”then trust God and keep on doing what is right. Don’t give up! Grow up!

3504. We know little about pain and regret, except that it is soluble in alcohol.

3505. Oprah Winfrey: “Though I’m still grateful for the blessings of wealth, it hasn’t changed who I am. My feet are still on the ground. I’m just wearing better shoes”

Jul 20, 2008

text messages 3481-3500

3481. Through out the years of your life you’ll face many challenges, remember that you climb the highest mountain, drive through the roughest storm, soar across the bluest sky, or even sail across the roughest waters. It’s only destined by your attitude where you’ll end up in life. The most important thing is don’t let your self get lost in the crowd. – Angela Duvall

3482. If an angel and devil were to fall in love with each other, can their love transcend the laws of heaven and hell? Can the angel set her wings on fire? Can the devil soar at daylight? This is fates decree…love can’t change what isn’t meant to be…unless uminom sila ng coke…:)

3483. One good reason why we should pray: It’s because God can do more in a second than what we can do for ourselves in a lifetime. God bless! :)

3484. I want to run away from you…but if I do, I know the path will only lead me back to you. There’s just no escape from you…because…you love me. – Kaiserin

3485. I hate insomnia, not because it doesn’t put me into sleep despite the fact that I’m tired, but because it puts me into a state of reminiscing memories I know I couldn’t bring back. I wish I could drive insomnia away. Not so I can dream well, but to save my pillow from being drowned by my tears. :(


Jul 4, 2008

text messages 3451 - 3480

3451. As you admire the wonderful things God has made today, remember you're one of them - wonderful inside and out. You're blessed. You're special. You're loved. Good morning!

3452. God needs to know what you want not because He easily forgets. It's because he loves to feel the sweetness of your prayer. Good evening. God bless.

3453. God always repays caring acts. It may not be with money or goods but more often, He repays with health, happiness, friendship and love. Good morning! Take care.

3454. To wake up each morning healthy and at peace is a gift from God more precious than gold. May all your mornings be filled with God's gifts. Good morning!

3455. God has a purpose for all that is happening in this world. Be it something good or something bad, he never willed our lives to be like hell. So when a turning point seems so terrible, later you would notice that a wonderful thing compensates for the seemingly hopeless incident. Very often than not, our lives become better. It was a blessing in disguise after all. Trust in him always because he never let us down. :)

May 20, 2008

text messages 3401 - 3450

3401. Life is an undying cycle. It is a battle of survival. If you quit, then you're a loser. If you fall, then stand up. If you keep on complaining about the miseries of your life, nothing will happen. God doesn't throw stones that we cannot catch. Live with Him and everything will turn out right. Good evening!

3402. Nothing makes a new day more promising than having the right heart, the right spirit, the right mind, and the right strength that comes from God.

3403. Tell God all your 3 P's: Problems, Pressures and Plans and He will give you His ABC's. Answers to prayers, Best favors and Courage to go on.

3404. Life is more meaningful if you have plenty of CASH. Christ Assurance of Salvation and Holiness. May you never run out of CASH for the rest of your life. :)

3405. The Bible says, "God will never give you a burden you can't bear." So, when you have a problem you think it's impossible to fix, take it as a compliment. God knows you can. Good night!

3406. Let me share this beautiful text: I asked God, "How do I get the best out of life?" God answered, "Face your past without regret, handle your present with confidence, prepare for the future without fear." Then He added, "Keep the faith and drop the fear. Don't believe your doubts and don't doubt your beliefs. Life is wonderful if you know how to live."

3407. To start a day is just like painting: Draw the lines with prayers, erase the errors with forgiveness, dip the brush with lots of patience, and color it with love. Good morning!

3408. Evening comes to pack up all the events of the day. Leave your worries behind and rest your body and mind. Let love be in your heart so you can sleep well tonight. Good night!

3409. Life has great options, but you don't always have to pick what seems to be the best. Sometimes, the best and perfect aren't always what makes you happy. Good day!

3410. Time and things don't really last. What matters are the people we care about and the values we dare to live and share. Let life be as beautiful as your heart.

3411. I used to think that I can wait. Wait till there's nothing left to wait for. But then I realized, I can wait till I forget the reason why I'm waiting.

3412. The first step towards getting somewhere is to decide that you are not going to stay where you are.

3413. The best feeling in the world is realizing you're perfectly happy without the thing you thought you needed. Have a nice day ahead!

3414. If people have to leave us in one way or another, it would be best if they'll do it 100% lie-free and just slap the truth in our faces. We all do deserve something better than just lame excuses because lies in all sort do make us appear stupid.

3415. The best feeling in the world comes when you start feeling good again after feeling awful for a long time.

3416. If everything happened when and how we wanted it to, nothing in this world would ever be worth waiting for. There's a time for everything. God bless.

3417. When someone breaks your heart, you turn into a small ball of self-pity. You lie on bed, you hug your knees and keep them close like a fetus. Freud said: "It's human instinct to go back to the womb where we can feel safe."

3418. No one is born happy, but all of us are born with the ability to create happiness. Just remember, happiness is a state of mind and it depends on ones attitude towards life, not on what one has.

3419. Today, don't say any unkind words. Think of the people who can't speak. Don't complain about the food you eat, some have nothing. Don't complain about life, many die young. When you're tired of your job, think of the jobless, the disabled and those who wish they had yours. When sad thoughts seem to put you down, put a smile on your face, be positive and be thankful you're alive and still around. Life is a gift from God. Live it well. Good morning!

3420. A turtle once taught me that no matter how heavy his bearings are, it's his choice to carry the luggage for it is the only way he feels protected. Good morning!

3421. There are two kinds of worlds: the one you dream about and the real one. The challenge is not to choose but to make both worlds meet.

3422. Words from Ally McBeal: "If you wanna end up with the right person, you've got to make it happen. The best people are always taken. If you don't steal them, you won't have them."

3423. Did you know that most people assume that the summation of all the causes of hurt, pain and hatred in one word is just expectations?

3424. There were times I love to hate you. And then I love to love you. It's like I want to throw you off a cliff, then rush to the bottom to catch you.



3425. Somewhere in your heart, try to find a place for me. Somewhere in your heart, I don't care where it might be. One little corner may not mean so much to you but one little corner would be enough to see me through.

3426. As I lay down the cards in the game of solitaire. I see the king and queen of hearts side by side, I remember you and me and how you left me for the jack of hearts.

3427. I'd rather be with someone who loves me more than I love him. I'm 100% sure that my happiness is his priority, and no more sleepless nights.

3428. It's wrong to hurt those who love you, but it's worse to love those who hurt you.

3429. I began to make a step the moment I knew where I stand. Then I moved on.

3430. There's nothing enigmatic about why we fall in love with the wrong people. It's caused by the hormonal imbalances and chemical reactions in our system. Science can now explain it. - Discovery Channel.

3431. The heart is like a Rubik's cube, someone is supposed to mess the cube first so someone else could fit the colors perfectly.

3432. Sometimes, it's easier to act like you don't care than to admit that it's killing you.

3433. If you were to make the biggest decision in your life, would you rather be "Happy but wrong or sad but right?"

3434. It's just something that happens as we age up. We realize it's not important to have many friends, what's important is to have real ones.

3435. A friend is like a guitar. You have to keep tuning once in a while to keep the melody of friendship alive. Good evening!

3436. Hear with your heart. See with your soul. Be guided by a hand that you can't hold. Trust even if you can't see. That's what faith must be.

3437. True strength of character is not just calculated by how well we manage to carry a sizabl load under challenging conditions , but is perhaps better measured by our ability to remain kind and light spirited, even when we're sure that we can't bear the weight of one more ounce of life.

3438. Problemado ka ba at walang panggimik? Ito ang sagot dyan! Just text NANAY PENGE PERA at isend sa number nya! Ang dali, hindi ba? May chance ka pang mamura!

3439. Payabangan. Erni: Ang galing ng aso ko! Tuwing umaga, dala nya'ng dyaryo sa akin. Bert: Alam ko. Erni: Ha? Paano mo nalaman? Bert: Ikinikwento sa akin ng aso ko.

3440. There are times we treat life like a mysterious door. It doesn't open no matter how hard we push it! We never notice that a huge sign is posted there that reads, PULL.

3441. Slogans of famous presidents: Marcos: Mabuhay ang Filipino! Cory: Laban Filipino! Ramos: Sulong Filipino! Erap: Casino Filipino! GMA: Naloko ko ang Filipino!

3442. An airplane crashed at a town in Batangas: Media: Manong, pakilarawan po ng nangyari. Manong: Ala eh, nakow, garne ga utoy. Kakaalmusal ko laang. Gayak ako'y sisinsay sa kahanggan, ay natan-awan ko yaan sa alapaap ay nasisilaban. Bago sumirok ng papagay-on na akala mo'y papatak. Ginagaling na laang at sa sukalang are sumugba, ay kung sa kabayanan ga, ay di panay mga utas! Media: Ano daw??

3443. The secret of contentment is knowing how to enjoy what you have and be able to lose all the desire for things beyond your reach. Let's not be materialistic. Tama na yung magaganda at gwapong nilalang tayo.

3444. A playboy died. During a mass: Priest: He's an honest guy, good husband and family man. Wife: (whispered to her son) Anak, tingnan mo nga. Baka hindi na si papa mo yung nakaburol.

3445. Ang ingles ng nagpakamatay, suicide. Namatay sa bahay, homecide. Namatay sa inis, pesticide. Pinatay ng intsik. Intsikticide. Namatay sa ibabaw ng girl. In-sex-he-died.

3446. Waiting for someone you love isn't easy especially when while you're waiting, the one you are waiting for isn't aware that you are waiting. - Tongue twister yan, wag na mag-emote!

3447. Flash report: A thief broke into Malacanang. He stumbled into GMA and FG at the hall way. The first couple froze in silence. The thief panicked, ran away and screamed, "Magnanakaw!"

3448. Bruno: Tay, nasugatan ako! Tatay: Buti nga, hindi ka umiyak. Lalaki talaga ang anak ko! Bruno: Syempre naman po tay, sabi nga sa kani Fergie, "Big Girls Don't Cry."

3449. Think positive! Japanese archaeologist digging 100 meters down found copper wire, says, "Very good, our great ancestors of 1000 years already had telephone!" Americans dug 200 meters and found optical cable, says, "My God! This means our great forefathers already had broadband 2000 years ago!" Pinoy digs 500 meters and found nothing, says, "Ang lupit ng mga ninuno natin! Wireless!"

3450. Pulis: Bayad ko sa pancit. Tsino Himala, bakit ikaw bayad? Pulis: Utos ni chief. Bawal na ang kotong. Tsino: Ok, mula ngayon, baboy na lagay ko pancit mo, hindi na daga!



Contributors:
3401-3404, 3414-3419, 3423-3426, 3448-3450: Anonymous (+63910555***9)
3405, 3408-3413, 3431-3441: Asha (+63917898***7)
3406: Abet (+63917866***0)
3407: Noreen (+63919285***1)
3420-3421, 3443-3444: Anonymous (+63920801***3)
3422: Vahnrey (+63919227***5)
3427-3430, 3445-3447: Eroica
3442: Anonymous (+63906343***8)

May 15, 2008

text messages 3351 - 3400

3351. If you keep God inside your heart, there is nothing that will come into your life that you won't be able to handle. God bless you always!

3352. Those who appear in your life - whether to help or to harm - are all given by God. Meet all of them with a peaceful heart but with a warrior's spirit. You will fail many times, but in falling, you will learn, and in learning you will find your way. Remember, there are no mistakes in life - only lessons. And lessons will keep on repeating themselves until learned. God bless.

3353. God sends us joy to keep our hearts young, hope to enrich our lives, leisure to refresh our spirits and love to make our world beautiful. Have a nice day!

3354. May your morning be a garden of God's wonderful blessings and your life blossoms with every dream that's close to your heart. May God be with you in everything you do. Good morning!

3355. No matter how our dreams may seem unreachable, dream them anyway. No matter how we've been hurt by the people we love, love them anyway. No matter how hard life is, live it anyway. No matter how our prayers seem unanswered, pray them anyway. God will make a way! Good morning!

3356. Always stretch your heart and expand your love, so that it touches not only those who you give it to but also to those who need it so much. Gandang umaga!

3357. Life is like having a cup of coffee. You sit by the window, lift the cup and take a sip only to realize that somebody forgot to put the sugar. Too lazy to go for it, you somehow struggle thru that sugarless cup. Until you discovered undissolved sugar crystals sitting at the bottom. That's how life is, we sometimes forget to make an effort to value what is around us. Look around, maybe, the sweetness you are looking for is closer than you think. Start your day right. Flash a smile. Have your coffee. Make it sweet.

3358. Anyone who has ever really lived knows that there is no life without growth. When we stop growing, we stop living and start existing. But there is no growth without challenge and there is no challenge without change. Life is a series of changes that create challenges and if we are going to make it, we have to grow.

3359. If A is a success in life, than A equals x plus y plus z. Work is x; y is play; and z is keeping your mouth shut. - Albert Einstein

3360. Be thankful that you don't have everything you desire, if you did, what would there be to look forward to? Be thankful for the difficult times, it's during those times you grow. Be thankful for your limitations because they give you opportunities for improvement. Be thankful for your mistakes. They will teach you valuable lessons. Find a way to be thankful for your troubles and they can become your blessings.

3361. We can't own time to have long talks. We don't have nice chances for more laughs, but even though our worlds don't meet, I will always be your friend to keep.

3362. Another moon? Possible. Another sun? Possible? Another sky? Possible. Another you? Impossible! Because God can't make the same mistake twice. Hehehe.

3363. An old lady offers the bus driver some peanuts. So, the driver happily munches them. Every 5 minutes, she gives him a handful more peanuts. Driver: Why don't you eat them yourself? Old lady: I can't chew. Look, I have no teeth! Driver: Then, why did you buy them? Old lady: Oh, I just love the chocolate around them!

3364. Women are like the police. They can have all the evidence in the world, but they still want the confession.

3365. A message from the heart. If you don't take care of yourself, we'll take good care of you! - Funeraria Paz.

3366. In bed. Girl: Not tonight. I've got an appointment with my OB. Guy: Eh sa dentist, may appointment ka?

3367. A short story: Woman driving the road. Man driving up the same road. They pass by each other. Woman yells out the window. "Pig!" Man yells back, "B*tch!" Man rounds next curve and crashes into a huge pig in the middle of the road and dies. Lesson: If only men would listen.

3368. Wrong spelling can kill! Watch out. Husband on an out of town assignment texted his wife: Trip is wonderful. I'm having a good time. Wish you were her.

3369. Girl about to be married: Dad, I'm so sad to be leaving Mom! Dad: I understand. Don't let me stand in the of your happiness. Plaease, take your Mom with you!

3370. What's the difference between love and herpes? Herpes is forever!

3371. Kapag walang bolpen, walang notes. Kapag walang notes, walang pag-aaral. Kapag walang pag-aaral, walang diploma. Kapag walang diploma, walang work. Kapag walang work, walang pera. Kapag walang pera, walang pagkain. Kapag walang pagkain, magugutom. Kapag nagutom, papayat. Kapag pumayat, papanget. Kapag pumangit, walang gf/bf. Kapag walang gf/bf, walang asawa. Kapag walang asawa, walang anak. Kapag walang anak, madedepress. Kapag nadepress, magkakasakit. Kapag nagkasakit, mamamatay ka. Kapag namatay ka, wala ka na. Kaya, ingatan mo yang ballpen mo!

3372. Bakit walang kulay ang utot? Kasi, kung meron, mawawala yung thrill nang paghahanap kung sino ang umutot.

3373. Define love. According to the nurses and intelligent people, love is a sickness. Because everybody who gets it ends up in bed!

3374. Pare, tulungan mo ako. Panay kalabit ng asawa ko. Anong problema doon. Wala ka ba sa mood? Eh hindi ganoon. 3 taon nang patay ang asawa ko eh.



3375. Sino nakakita sa aksidente? Ako po sir! Buti naman may witness. Kita mo ba plate number? Oho, nagsisimula ho sa 4. Ano kasunod? Registration po.

3376. What do you call two ugly people stabbing each other? Answer: Saksakan ng pangit! Hehehe.

3377. Kung malaki ang eyebags mo, huwag mong ikahiya! Kasi, pinagpuyatan mo yan eh.

3378. Old lady calls to her daughter. Papauwi ka na ba? Asan ka na? Daughter: Andito po ako sa hospital. Her mom cried. Anong nangyari sa iyo?! Daughter: Inay! Nurse po ako! Nurse!!!

3379. May isang Mangyan sa Jollibee. Mangyan: Pabili ng pulot (honey). Crew: Wala po kaming tindang pulot. Mangyan: Kayabangan mo! Laking-laki nung bubuyog sa labas!

3380. Inday, punta ka sa botika. Ibili mo si sir ng Viagra. Maid: Sa iyo ba gagamitin ni Sir? Misis: Bakit? Maid: Kasi, pag sa akin, Red Bull lang, pwede na!

3381. Sen. Cayetano: It's now the turn of Sen. Lapid to ask witness Jun Lozada. Sen. Lapid: Ha? Pass! Sen. Cayetano: Hindi pwede. Dapat lahat tayo, magtanong! Huwag ka nang mahiya, anong nasa isip mo ngayon? Sen. Lapid: Ha? Eh, kaanu-ano mo si Ike Lozada?

3382. Kissing in the lips is great, but be sure you never close your eyes and not too long because you'll encounter a strange feeling called "Lee Bog!"

3383. Minsan, mas espesyal ang laway kaysa ngiti. Kasi, kahit sino, pwede mong ngitian, pero ang laway, tutulo lang sa taong gusto mong tikman!

3384. Money can't buy happiness, but somehow, it's more comfortable to cry in BMW than on a bicycle.

3385. How do you compare Erap and Mike Arroyo? Both are billionaires. Both Ateneans. Both fat. Both alias Jose. Both are liars. Pero si Erap, mas may taste sa babae!

3386. It's not true that beer makes you fat. It actually makes you lean. Lean on walls, lean on doors and lean on to the person you love. Yun yun eh! Lasing lasingan, para-paraan!

3387. Mike Arroyo met Gary Kasparov. Mike: If the present situation in my country is like a chess game, what would you do? Gary: Sacrifice the queen, ride the horse, leave the castle, follow the bishop and resign!

3388. Pari, nagmimisa. Sino sa inyo ang may kaaway? Taas kamay lahat pwera sa isang matandang babae. Pari: Si lola lang ang walang kaaway. Ano po ang edad nyo, lola? Lola: 93 anyos. Pari: Tingnan nyo si lola, 93 anyos na pero walang kaaway! Lola, bakit wala kayong kaaway? Lola: Patay na ang mga walang hiya!

3389. Men are like parking spots. The good ones are taken and the free ones are handicapped. Hahaha.

3390. Alcohol solves no problems, neither does milk. Pero buti pa ang alak, libre kung minsan. Ang gatas? Meron bang nanglibre ng gatas at sabi, tara, dede tayo!?

3391. Daga1: Ako tapang! Kain ako ng Racumin! Daga2: Mas tapang ako. Kain ako ng cheese with mouse trap. Daga3: Ako tapang sa lahat! Girlfriend ko, pusa! Makes sense? Be brave enough to love someone whom you know might kill you in the end. Akalain mo, may moral lesson pa yun?! Hahaha!

3392. Kung amoy putok ka, be proud! Pinagpawisan mo yan eh!

3393. Chinese Diplomat: Madam Plesident, we heard you have a shortage of lies (rice). GMA: To tell you frankly, we will never run out of it!

3394. Sabi ng puso ko, mahal ko sya. Sabi ng utak ko, huwag, hindi tama. Sabi ko naman, O, baka yung atay, bituka, baga dyan, gusto ring magcomment. Go on!

3395. Kung hindi mo kayang magpaliwanag, magpagabi ka na lang!

3396. Anong isda ang mahilig magtampisaw sa ulan? Sagot: Hito! - Hito akooooo. Basang basa sa ulan, walang masisilungan. Haha!

3397. Pinadalhan ni Vicky Belo ng sulat ang lahat ng gwapo at magaganda. Alam mo ba kung ano ang laman ng sulat? Hindi mo alam? Hindi ka pinadalhan??!

3398. Bakit hindi pwedeng magsuot ng hairnet ang mga kalbo? Kasi, magmumukha silang microphone! Wahaha! Extreme! Extreme! Magic sing!

3399. Time, I've been passing time watching trains go by... - Guard sa LRT. Hahaha!

3400. Three men who were about to go to outer space but only allowed one thing to bring. Man1: I wanna go with my wife. I can't be without my wife for a year. Man2: I'll go with my book. I want to have more knowledge. Man3: Give me a pack of cigarettes, I'll die without it in my life. One year later, they came back. Man1 came out with a child, the second came and spoke words nonstop. The last man came out very angry. Tangna! Lighter nga pala! Sad noh?!



Contributors:

3351-3352, 3358, 3363, 3384-3400 :Asha (+63921955***9)
3353-3356. Anonymous (+63920801***3)
3357, 3362, 3364-3369, 3371-3383. Anonymous (+63910555***9)
3359, 3370: Eroica
3360-3361: Vahnrey (+639192274***5)

Mar 6, 2008

text messages 3301 - 3350

3301. Beware of me! Because if I find you, you'll never escape from me. I will be with you for the rest of my life, serving and loving you, wait and see because I love THEE.

3302. Do I have to prove my innocence? I don't need a lawyer with a high degree, because. if loving you is against the law, then you better lock me up and throw away the key.

3303. Forgive my mind for it can't forget how life began the day we met. Forgive my soul for it sees that we're really meant to be. Forgive this feeling I just can't kill and forgive my heart, it loves you still.

3304. I have dispelled love to protect my heart until one day I meet the the one. You came along and what I once protected for very long has once again yearning a new, but what can I do now that I’m falling in love with you?

3305. I love you without knowing how. I love you without knowing when. I love you without knowing why. I love you eventhough to you, I'm just a friend. :(


3306. Knowing you has made me happy in a million ways and if ever I'd have to let you go. I would find a million reasons to make you stay.

3307. Set a place for me in your heart and not in your mind. For the mind easily forget but the heart remembers.

3308. I like you because you're my friend and because you're my friend, I care and because I care, I love you. I don't love you because you're my friend, I love you because I do.

3309. H()RT, what would you add to these letters? "EA" or "U" ? If "EA", you'll get a heart, and if "U", you'll get a hurt, so what would you pick? For me, it's better to get hurt than have a heart without "U".

3310. Don't be too good, I might miss you. Don't be too caring, I might like you. Don't be so sweet, I might fall. It's hard for me to fall when you won't love me after all.

3311. Love is a two way street, it can't survive with only one person's love no matter how strong that love is.

3312. A bottle of wine may not be intoxicating but a single drop of true love intoxicates.

3313. You don't love someone because she is beautiful; she is beautiful because you love her.

3314. The mind is what should listen, but it is the heart that should speak.

3315. Love is giving someone the ability to hurt you but trusting them not to!

3316. Trying to forget someone you love is like trying to remember someone you never met.

3317. Don’t blame me for falling in love with you, I didn’t asked for that and it was never my intention. But if you start falling in love with me, then blame me all you want because I’ve been wishing for that since the day I met you.

3318. Inside I admired you, inside I cherished your every way, inside I loved you and still inside I cry because I know it's only inside that I can have you.

3319. All of us have an ideal perfect person in mind, but we often end up with someone totally opposite, but still very much perfect for us.

3320. I chose to love you in silence for in silence, I find no rejection. I chose to adore you in my loneliness for in my loneliness, no one owns you but me.

3321. One of the greatest pleasures in life is doing the things that others say you cannot do.

3322. If you think something is right just because everyone else believes it, you are not thinking.

3323. It is better to die for something than to live for nothing.

3324. The love in your heart wasn't put there to stay cause love isn't love until you give it away.

3325. There's nothing between you and I, right? Why not put love? so it will become I "love" you.



3326. The heart is a big treasure box where you put all your cherished thoughts, dozen praises, truths, love, hopes and everything that's important to you and that's where I'm keeping you.

3327. I asked for a candle he gave me the sun. I asked for a spotlight he gave me the moon. I asked for light he gave me the sky I asked for an angel he gave me you.

3328. The next cruel thing a guy can do to a girl is to let her fall inlove with him when he doesn't intend to catch her fall.

3329. What sexual position will produce a gorgeous baby? Ask my parents!

3330. It's better to lose your pride to the one you love than lose your love one to your useless pride.

3331. It's nice to start the day with a smile on your way but it's nicer to start this day when your smile meets my way.

3332. You make me smile for no reason whatsoever, you make me laugh at the unfunniest things but most of all you make me love you when I shouldn't be loving you at all.

3333. It's funny that when a person recalls his embarrassing moments, he laughs but when he reminisces his happy times, he cries.

3334. Do not trust your friend too much, don't hate your enemy too much, your friend will most likely become your enemy and your enemy will probably become your friend.

3335. It is ok to kiss a fool and it is ok to let a fool kiss you but never let a kiss fool you.

3336. You can only walk beside me in one condition, you better hide your wings or everyone will know you're my angel.

3337. Love is not about making someone's life complete but instead it's about making someone realize that they were already complete right from the very start.

3338. With you it's not like I'm running towards the goal looking for a way to score, with you it's like I've already won.

3339. Some people complain to God for putting thorns on the rose but some praise Him for putting a rose among the thorns.

3340. When torn between two lovers don't choose the one who makes your heart flatter but the one who fills it with laughter coz the excitement will just fade away but the smile in your heart will always stay.

3341. Do not lose your health getting wealthy or you'll soon lose your wealth trying to get healthy again.

3342. I have heard from the phone company, the water company, and electric company, but I haven't heard from you, too bad coz it's your company I love the most.

3343. Accidents do happen, I slip, I trip, I stumble and fall, usually I don't mind it at all but now I don't know what to do coz I slipped and fell in love with you.

3344. I wished on a star one night, wished to have a friend I will love for life, days passed and I started to cry, I didn't know that my wish came true coz the person I wished for was you.

3345. Don't ask the sun to always shine, the clouds exist, don't ask the leaves not to fall, the wind exists, don't ask me to just forget, I can't, you exist.

3346. When you are running after the person you love and you're too busy to notice me running after you, don't mind me. But when you stumble and fall, take my hand and let me be the one to help you get up again.

3347. I look at you and I realize just how much you've been a part of my life, how special you are and how much you've made me happy. I look at you and I realize that heaven must be missing an angel.

3348. Love is a contradiction, it's hard to find but easy to lose, makes you feel good but hurts so bad, opens your eyes but makes you blind, fills up your heart then tears it apart.

3349. Never ask why the heart is red, the sky is blue, the cloud is white cause it's like asking why of all people it's you I care about.

3350. Beauty may only be skin deep but men aren't interested in what your bones look like. :)

Contributor
3301-3350: Asha (via e-mail)

Mar 4, 2008

text messages 3251 - 3300

3251. Leave something for God but never leave God for something. Because in life, something will leave you, but God will always be there for you.

3252. God hides from us the things that we are not yet ready to receive. That's why when we try to get it ourselves, we end up with the second best. Just pray and wait.

3253. Life is an adventure of faith in God, full of surprises yet fulfilling, full of tests yet satisfying, and full of trials yet strengthening. Good morning!

3254. A painting of Christ knocking on a cottage door was critically examined by the artist friend to look for any mistakes in it. No one could find anything but admiration. Finally, a young artist found a basic mistake. "You forgot to paint the door handle or lock on the door." "My friend," the artist remarked, "when Christ knocks on the door of your house, it can only be opened from the inside." Good evening!

3255. Whenever you don't understand what's happening in your life, you just have to close your eyes, take a deep breath and say, "Lord, I know it's your plan, just help me thru it."


3256. Not all people can understand the way I am, some may hate me while some will love. But for all of these, I still love the way I am because I don't want to pretend as someone just to flatter anyone.

3257. Learn to apologize when the situation calls for it. Don't allow little issues to get out of hand. Stop thinking of yourself sometimes. Lower your pride and mean your apology. You'll be amazed how the words "I'm sorry" can mean much to someone in pain; much more if you're the reason for the hurt.

3258. The special reason for living is life itself. Finding it complicated, difficult and unfair is merely a part of it, and life would never be complete without it. Because life is like a chocolate, without a piece of bitterness, its sweetness would be useless.

3259. It's funny how day by day nothing changes, but when you look back, everything is different.

3260. Best age is encourage. Best mile is smile. Best stand is understand. Best end is friend. Best day is today. May God keep you happy and safe everyday.

3261. Life is like posing for pictures, we pose the way we want to be seen by others, but stolen shots are better. They capture who we really are.

3262. Learn. But always learn with other people by your side. Don't be alone in the search because if you take a wrong step, you'll have no one there to help put you right. - Paulo Coelho (The Witch of Portobello)

3263. Belief, hard work, and love - you have those things. you can do anything. - For One More Day.

3264. It is better to be a human being dissatisfied than a pig satisfied; better to be Socrates dissatisfied tha a fool satisfied. - John Stuart Mill

3265. Value things while you still can because you'll never know when they'll be gone. You can always fight for it but what if it's too late? That's when you realize your life is missing a piece and that piece will remain missing forever.

3266. A joke and a truth are not mutually exclusive. Sometimes, the best jokes are true and the best truth are jokes.

3267. The happiest people are those having the most simple lives and the least stressful lifestyles. Let us learn to simplify things. For simplicity is not just beauty. It is a blessing.

3268. If you're shopping for a happy ending and you couldn't find one, buy a new beginning instead.

3269. Happy thoughts remove life's pressures. They have healing powers and uplift spirits. They lead to blissful lives. Think happy today! God bless.

3270. Sometimes I wonder why sunset is more beautiful than sunrise. I guess it's an irony of life. Sometimes, better things could really happen saying goodbye.

3271. One of the reasons why people get so sentimental is because memories are the only things that don't change when everything else does.

3272. The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing on the right place, but to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.

3273. I know it's impossible that we'll always be together. But that doesn't mean we can't have a quantified laughs together, you know. I'll take whatever you can give cause I'm just happy to be with you.

3274. You'll never know how much you needed your friends until you look back along the rope and realized how many knots they tied to keep you from falling.

3275. My life is not really perfect, not so wonderful, but I have reasons to be happy because there are persons like you who's been good to me.



3276. Some of us are so busy now, forwarded messages are not merely just messages sent, but with it, goes a secret note saying I remember you still.

3277. Sometimes, you have to put walls up around you, not to keep people out, but to see who cares enough to break them down.

3278. People always think that the most painful thing is losing the one you love in your life. The truth is, the most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, forgetting that you are special too.

3279. It is so much easier to say that you don't love someone than try to explain to everyone all the reasons why you still do.

3280. Sometimes, when I'm alone, I can't help but think of all the things I've done in the past. I go out with my friends to drink and got drunk. Some people would ask why would I waste my money buying alcoholic drinks because it brings nothing and can ruin my life. They may be right and they may not understand the importance of drinking alcohol. But for me, those drinking sessions, I've found real friendship. We talked, we laughed, and we even started building dreams. That's the essence of drinking!

3281. Doctor: I'm sorry to tell you that you've got rabies. Patient: Please give me a piece of paper and pencil. Doctor: You don't have to write your will. Patient: No, I want to make a list of people to bite.

3282. Why did the chewing gum cross the road? Because he was stuck to the chicken's foot.

3283. In this world, every wife is a mistress to her husband. 1 hour of miss and 23 hours of stress.

3284. The secret of life is happiness. The secret of happiness is love. The secret of love is sacrifice. The secret of sacrifice is to obey your wife.

3285. They say I look good. I say, I taste even better! Hahaha!

3286. The Americans said: We felt and experienced pain and hardship since the 9/11. The Filipino said: We also felt and experienced that. When? The Americans ask. The Filipino said: Since 4/11. (The height of GMA).

3287. My doctor put me on a seafood diet. Now, I only eat when I see food.

3288. Lalaki, umuwi at nakita ang asawa na nakasexy lingerie. Wife: Itali mo ako, tapos, gawin mo ang nais mo. Itinali ng lalaki ang asawa, tapos, nag DOTA sya!

3289. The Philippines is overpopulated because: ayaw ng birth control, walang death penalty, daming jobless kaya babad kama, dami lasing kaya ganda lagi misis.

3290. Minsan ba, nakikita mo akong kausap ang sarili ko? Ngayon, malabo mo na yung makita. Kasi, nag-away kami. Parang tanga kasi!

3291. Sa isang school. Boy: Tapos ka na ba sa exam mo? Girl: Bakit naman? Boy: Wala lang. Para ako naman ang sagutin mo.

3292. Words to live by: Whenever I feel like working, I lie down until the feeling is gone. Katamaran at its best!

3294. Ang tunay na kagandahan at kagwapuhan ay hindi nakikita sa pisikal na anyo ng isang tao kundi nasa puso! Yan! Yan ang paniniwala ng mga panget! Tayo, quiet lang.

3295. Makabagong kasabihan, kagandahan edition: Para sa magaganda: Aanhin mo ang ganda, kung wala ka namang papa. Para sa gustong magpaganda, retokada: Kung gusto mong maglandi, tiisin mo ang hapdi. Para sa mga feeling maganda: Talbog ang matigas na tinapay sa tigas ng mukha ng nagmamagandang inday. Para sa mga walang ganda: Mabait man daw at magaling, ang chaka-chaka pa rin.

3296. There are two reasons why people change: either tapos na maligo, or basa na ng pawis.

3297. Erap (nageexercise): 1234 Amen, 5678 Amen, 8765 Amen, 4321 Amen! Jinggoy: Dad, bakit may pa Amen, Amen pa kayo? Erap: Kasi, sabi ng doctor ko, exercise religiously.

3298. Malas daw si GMA sa letrang J. Jose Miguel Arroyo, Joseph Estrada, Jocjoc Bolante, Joey de Venecia, Jose de Venecia, Jun Lozada. Hindi pa kasama dun ang hamburJer ni Abalos!

3299. Today, when you feel like nobody loves you and when you feel like everyone is against you, don't panic! Pito na kayo nina GMA, FG, Defensor, Neri, Atienza, Abalos at Razon!

3300. Lozada: 1/2 Pinoy 1/2 Intsik. Apostol: 1/2 Pinoy 1/2 Bulol. Joker Arroyo: 1/2 Pinoy 1/2 Pikon. Santiago: 1/2 Pinay 1/2 Buang. Enrile: 1/2 GMA 1/2 Erap. Neri: 1/2 Pinoy 1/2 Pinay. Gonzales: 1/2 Pinoy 1/2 Linta. Razon: 1/2 Pinoy 1/2 Patola. Donald Dee: 1/2 Intsik 1/2 Traydor. FG: 1/2 Pork 1/2 Buwaya. GMA: 1/2 lang.

Contributors:
3251, 3257-3261, 3274, 3280-3281: Asha (+63917898***7)
3252-3254, 3266-3271, 3276-3279, 3283-3287, 3289-3297, 3299-3300: Anonymous (+63910555***9)
3255, 3272: Nicely
3256: Vahnrey (+63919227***5)
3262-3265, 3288: Eroica (+63917808***9)
3273: Dudai (+63920209***2)
3275, 3298: Anonymous (+63920801***3)
3282: Ariel (277001010***2)

Feb 13, 2008

text messages 3201 - 3250



Happy Valentine's Day to all the readers and subscribers of Textmates!

3201. When these days are gone, when the little love you once feel for me slowly fades away, when your smile and laugh is only here as a dream, and when the words "I love you" are scripts of the past, I'll always have the memories that were once moments, and I'll always know that no matter what, I got the chance to love you the best way I can.

3202. A man reserves his true and deepest love not for the species of woman in whose company he finds himself electrified and enkindled, but for that one whose company he may feel tenderly drowsy.

3203. Even if a day should go by when I don't say "I love you", may there never be a moment that goes by without you knowing that I do.

3204. Death can't kill what is not measured by time. I will love you forever, and when I die, whatever part of me is left, will love you, far beyond eternity.

3205. If I have to count reasons why I love you and why I'm so in love with you, I would have to count forever.

3206. How can I promise forever when tomorrow is so far away from me? How can I ease the pain when I have a bleeding heart inside of me? How can I forget someone like you when your name etched so deep within me?

3207. If it's meant to be, even if we let each other go, our hearts will find each other even when we part ways. And if our hearts melt together so will our bodies and soul. Then, every word and every touch will fuel our passion flame. I'll be yours, you'll be mine, and we'll be one till the end of time.

3208. What is LOVE? Some say it could conquer the world. Others say you will lose yourself, completely blind. But have you ever wondered what's behind those letters L.O.V.E.? I would say, it's a reminder. There's an L because man could not live without Love, there's an O for you wouldn't be able to spell your w_rld without it, there's V since you make yourself Vulnerable to things that they call moments, and E, to tell us the reason of our Existence.

3209. Question: What is the difference between love and a pack of cigarettes? Answer: Both of them can make you sick, but at least, the cigarettes come with a warning!

3210. The purpose of relationships is not to have someone who might complete you, but to have someone whom yo might share your incompleteness with you!

3211. Setting someone free is the hardest thing to do, but it's not the tears you cried that makes it so hard, it's the small piece of hope left inside your heart that someday, you'll still end up together.

3212. They say that if love becomes painful, it's time to let that love go and save yourself. Just keep this in mind, you'll be able to find another love, but not another self.

3213. When you love, it doesn't matter how many times you cried, how many words you've heard, but it's how much you care and how long you're willing to sacrifice. Even if it means, taking away you own happiness.

3214. Not everything is meant to be, but everything is worth a try.

3215. They say if love becomes painful its time to let that love go and save yourself. Just keep this in mind, "You'll be able to find another love, but not another self."

3216. 6 Stages of love. Self-love. If you can't love yourself, you can't love another. Caregiving love. Love of your parents, relatives, etc. Peers love. Loving your friends. Hero worship. Not idolizing other people and realizing that we are all individuals. Love of the opposite sex. Loving the entire person, not only physical. Mature love. Final of the 6 stages will come when the other 5 are achieved and will last a lifetime.

3217. The rain falls because the sky can no longer handle its heaviness, just like the tears, it falls because the heart can no longer handle the pain.

3218. The one good thing about not seeing you is that I can write you letters but the loneliness, the pain of missing you kills me. How I wanted to be with you till my last breath.

3219. Yes, I love you. I love you more than anybody else in this world, and there is nothing that I would like better than to hold on to you forever.

3220. Some things aren't meant to be kept forever. You know you have to stop and let go when things aren't going right, and everything you did is unappreciated. Remember, it is wiser to be alone and trying to be happy than be with someone who do nothing while you do everything.

3221. One day, when I had the guts I told him, "I love you." He answered, "Am I asking you?" I replied, "I'm willing to wait." He replied, "Did I ask you to wait?" With unshed tears I turned back but he called me, "Where are you going?" I said, "I'm leaving." He asked, "Why are you leaving? I didn't ask you to leave me or ask you to wait, all I know is that I love you too. Isn't that enough reason for you to stay?"

3222. Fixing someone's broken heart is much more like treating a sickness, no matter how hard you try, if you're not the right medicine, you can never cure the pain!

3223. Friends make us brave when we are afraid , make us strong when are are weak, but most of all, they teach us to hold on when tears keep on falling.

3224. Don't count your friends on a sunny day, when the sky is blue and smiles come so easily. Instead, wait for a storm, when the day grows cold and dark, and laughter is not heard in your heavy heart. Then, when a friend stands beside you, and lifts your spirits to the sky, you know that they deserve the name friend. God bless.

3225. There was a bad guy who fall in love to a good girl. The guy really love the girl so much that he will do things just to make the girl happy. The girl told the guy to stop all his rumble and the guy command it. One day, the girl heard the news about the rumble, and she say the guy bloody and dying, the girl cried but the guy smile and said, Hindi ako lumaban, kasi, baka magalit ka.



3226. Ang pagmamahal, hindi natin pinipilit. Hindi rin ito sinasadya. Hindi kayang diktahan. Hindi natin basta ginusto na lang. Dahil kung kontrolado natin ito, magmamahal ba tayo ng taong sasaktan lang tayo?

3227. Gaano kaimposibleng mahalin ka ng taong mahal mo na nagmamahal ng iba? Ganito... para kang nag-aantay ng paparahing dyip sa istasyon ng tren.

3228. A guy gave 3 roses to his girlfriend. The girl said, "Oh, babe, you're so romantic, why do you gave me 3 roses?" The boy said, "Kasi, hindi pwede bumili ng isa lang, tatlo sampu talaga!" Hehehe.

3229. Ikaw, naranasan mo na bang magmahal ng isang taong gagawin ang lahat. Lahat lahat. Mawala ka lang sa buhay nya? Tsk. tsk. Sakit no?

3230. Pagiging single ay masarap. Solo mo ang oras mo. Nakakaipon ka. Walang dumadagdag sa problema. Di ka obligado magtext. Ang pagiging single, talagang masarap. Pero hindi ko sinabing masaya.

3231. Bunso: Inay, tingnan no po ang drawing ko oh. Inay: WOw! Ang galing namang magdrawing ng monkey ng bunso ko. Bunso: Inay, kayo po iyan!

3232. Curfew: Hanggang 10pm lang dapat sa daan. Ang mahuhuli, babarilin. Officer: 9:45 pa lang, bakit mo sya binaril? Sundalo: Alam ko po ang bahay nya, hindi sya aabot. :)

3233. Bading singing Nescafe: A cock in hand makes me feel so right. A cock in hand so good so right, one moment, one s*x sa pwet. Kinanta mo noh?

3234. During cremation, all the relatives stood in silence. Everybody was silent till the child suddenly asked out of curiosity, "Ma, hindi pa ba luto?"

3235. Bawat tao, iba magmahal. May tunay, may salawahan, may nang-iiwan, may todo bigay. Iba iba man ang paraan, wala akong pakialam. Dahil wala akong love life!

3236. Lito Lapid: Why did you write me such a long speech? The people were bored. Secretary: Sir, I gave you a 20-minute speech, plus the two duplicate copies you wanted.

3237. A social study has concluded that a woman's ultimate fantasy is having two men at a time! In the fantasy, one cooks while the other cleans the house. Hehehe.

3238. Amo: O, bakit nakahubad ka? Inday: Sabi po sa cookbook, "Serve without dressing."

3239. Doctor: 6 months na lang ang buhay mo! Mag-asawa ka na ng pangit at bungangera. Lalaki: Gagaling ba ako? Doctor: Hind, pero at least, gugustuhin mo nang mamatay.

3240. Man and wife out on African safari when suddenly, a lion sprang out of nowhere and dragged wife with its jaw. Wife: Shoot! Shoot! Husband: I can't! Wala na akong film!

3241. Nanay: Langya! Anak, buntis ka? Anak: Opo, inay. Nanay: Sinong may gawa nyan? Anak: Inay, project po ito tungkol sa miracle of life. Nanay: Putrages, kahit sinong Poncio Pilato ang bumuntis sa iyo, ipakukulong ko! Sabihin mo, Sino?! Anak: Nay, Marami mo eh. Group project.

3242. Tandaan. Hindi lahat ng maganda, may boyfriend. Ang iba sa kanila, may betlog! Promise!

3243. I was once asked by a curious 4 year old boy. A question that made my jaw drop and leave me puzzled till this time. The boy said, "Ano po ang animal sound ng giraffe?"

3244. Ngayong valentine's day: Blue roses for lovers, white chocolates for crushes, pink balloons for friendships. Most of all, for loveless, red... Redhorse!

3245. Patient: Magkano ang magpaface-lift? Doctor: Complete treatment, P145000. Patient: Ang mahal! Ano ba ang pinakamurang treatment para magmukha akong bata? Doktor: Eto, tsupon, P20 lang.

3246. Doctor teaching medical students. Doctor: The first thing you must learn is to remove your fear. (He inserted his finger in the anus of the corps and licked it.) Doctor: Now, you do it. All students did as the doc had shown. Doctor: Next is that you must be observant. How many of you noticed that I used my middle finger but licked my index finger? Hehehe.

3247. If someone asks me what friendship is, I would stand next to you, smile at you, wrap my arms around you and proudly say, "Uy, ano daw sabi nya? English eh."

3248. Don't be unhappy if all your dreams never come true, just be thankful that your nightmares don't too.

3249. BF: Sinapak ko yung nakasalubong ko, sabihin ba naman na mukha akong magsasaka kapag katabi kita? GF: Huwag ka na magalit, marangal naman ang magsasaka. Bakit ba nya yun sinabi? BF: Kasi, mukha ka raw kalabaw! GF: Asan ba yun at papatayin ko!!!

3250. Son to dying father: Itay, ano po ba ang gusto nyo, magpalibing ba o magpacremate? Ama: Ikaw na ang bahala anak, isurprise mo na lang ako!


Contributors:
3201-3207, 3218-3219. Dudai (+63920209***2)
3208-3213, 3215-3217, 3223, 3231-3244: Asha (+63917898***7)
3214, 3228, 3246: Irish (+63910568***9)
3220, 3227, 3229-3230: Eroica (+63917808***9)
3221, 3247: Anonymous (+63920432***6)
3222: Anonymous (+62906546***7)
3245: Tekla (+63910500***8)
3248-3250: Anonymous (+63910555***9)