May 15, 2008

text messages 3351 - 3400

3351. If you keep God inside your heart, there is nothing that will come into your life that you won't be able to handle. God bless you always!

3352. Those who appear in your life - whether to help or to harm - are all given by God. Meet all of them with a peaceful heart but with a warrior's spirit. You will fail many times, but in falling, you will learn, and in learning you will find your way. Remember, there are no mistakes in life - only lessons. And lessons will keep on repeating themselves until learned. God bless.

3353. God sends us joy to keep our hearts young, hope to enrich our lives, leisure to refresh our spirits and love to make our world beautiful. Have a nice day!

3354. May your morning be a garden of God's wonderful blessings and your life blossoms with every dream that's close to your heart. May God be with you in everything you do. Good morning!

3355. No matter how our dreams may seem unreachable, dream them anyway. No matter how we've been hurt by the people we love, love them anyway. No matter how hard life is, live it anyway. No matter how our prayers seem unanswered, pray them anyway. God will make a way! Good morning!

3356. Always stretch your heart and expand your love, so that it touches not only those who you give it to but also to those who need it so much. Gandang umaga!

3357. Life is like having a cup of coffee. You sit by the window, lift the cup and take a sip only to realize that somebody forgot to put the sugar. Too lazy to go for it, you somehow struggle thru that sugarless cup. Until you discovered undissolved sugar crystals sitting at the bottom. That's how life is, we sometimes forget to make an effort to value what is around us. Look around, maybe, the sweetness you are looking for is closer than you think. Start your day right. Flash a smile. Have your coffee. Make it sweet.

3358. Anyone who has ever really lived knows that there is no life without growth. When we stop growing, we stop living and start existing. But there is no growth without challenge and there is no challenge without change. Life is a series of changes that create challenges and if we are going to make it, we have to grow.

3359. If A is a success in life, than A equals x plus y plus z. Work is x; y is play; and z is keeping your mouth shut. - Albert Einstein

3360. Be thankful that you don't have everything you desire, if you did, what would there be to look forward to? Be thankful for the difficult times, it's during those times you grow. Be thankful for your limitations because they give you opportunities for improvement. Be thankful for your mistakes. They will teach you valuable lessons. Find a way to be thankful for your troubles and they can become your blessings.

3361. We can't own time to have long talks. We don't have nice chances for more laughs, but even though our worlds don't meet, I will always be your friend to keep.

3362. Another moon? Possible. Another sun? Possible? Another sky? Possible. Another you? Impossible! Because God can't make the same mistake twice. Hehehe.

3363. An old lady offers the bus driver some peanuts. So, the driver happily munches them. Every 5 minutes, she gives him a handful more peanuts. Driver: Why don't you eat them yourself? Old lady: I can't chew. Look, I have no teeth! Driver: Then, why did you buy them? Old lady: Oh, I just love the chocolate around them!

3364. Women are like the police. They can have all the evidence in the world, but they still want the confession.

3365. A message from the heart. If you don't take care of yourself, we'll take good care of you! - Funeraria Paz.

3366. In bed. Girl: Not tonight. I've got an appointment with my OB. Guy: Eh sa dentist, may appointment ka?

3367. A short story: Woman driving the road. Man driving up the same road. They pass by each other. Woman yells out the window. "Pig!" Man yells back, "B*tch!" Man rounds next curve and crashes into a huge pig in the middle of the road and dies. Lesson: If only men would listen.

3368. Wrong spelling can kill! Watch out. Husband on an out of town assignment texted his wife: Trip is wonderful. I'm having a good time. Wish you were her.

3369. Girl about to be married: Dad, I'm so sad to be leaving Mom! Dad: I understand. Don't let me stand in the of your happiness. Plaease, take your Mom with you!

3370. What's the difference between love and herpes? Herpes is forever!

3371. Kapag walang bolpen, walang notes. Kapag walang notes, walang pag-aaral. Kapag walang pag-aaral, walang diploma. Kapag walang diploma, walang work. Kapag walang work, walang pera. Kapag walang pera, walang pagkain. Kapag walang pagkain, magugutom. Kapag nagutom, papayat. Kapag pumayat, papanget. Kapag pumangit, walang gf/bf. Kapag walang gf/bf, walang asawa. Kapag walang asawa, walang anak. Kapag walang anak, madedepress. Kapag nadepress, magkakasakit. Kapag nagkasakit, mamamatay ka. Kapag namatay ka, wala ka na. Kaya, ingatan mo yang ballpen mo!

3372. Bakit walang kulay ang utot? Kasi, kung meron, mawawala yung thrill nang paghahanap kung sino ang umutot.

3373. Define love. According to the nurses and intelligent people, love is a sickness. Because everybody who gets it ends up in bed!

3374. Pare, tulungan mo ako. Panay kalabit ng asawa ko. Anong problema doon. Wala ka ba sa mood? Eh hindi ganoon. 3 taon nang patay ang asawa ko eh.



3375. Sino nakakita sa aksidente? Ako po sir! Buti naman may witness. Kita mo ba plate number? Oho, nagsisimula ho sa 4. Ano kasunod? Registration po.

3376. What do you call two ugly people stabbing each other? Answer: Saksakan ng pangit! Hehehe.

3377. Kung malaki ang eyebags mo, huwag mong ikahiya! Kasi, pinagpuyatan mo yan eh.

3378. Old lady calls to her daughter. Papauwi ka na ba? Asan ka na? Daughter: Andito po ako sa hospital. Her mom cried. Anong nangyari sa iyo?! Daughter: Inay! Nurse po ako! Nurse!!!

3379. May isang Mangyan sa Jollibee. Mangyan: Pabili ng pulot (honey). Crew: Wala po kaming tindang pulot. Mangyan: Kayabangan mo! Laking-laki nung bubuyog sa labas!

3380. Inday, punta ka sa botika. Ibili mo si sir ng Viagra. Maid: Sa iyo ba gagamitin ni Sir? Misis: Bakit? Maid: Kasi, pag sa akin, Red Bull lang, pwede na!

3381. Sen. Cayetano: It's now the turn of Sen. Lapid to ask witness Jun Lozada. Sen. Lapid: Ha? Pass! Sen. Cayetano: Hindi pwede. Dapat lahat tayo, magtanong! Huwag ka nang mahiya, anong nasa isip mo ngayon? Sen. Lapid: Ha? Eh, kaanu-ano mo si Ike Lozada?

3382. Kissing in the lips is great, but be sure you never close your eyes and not too long because you'll encounter a strange feeling called "Lee Bog!"

3383. Minsan, mas espesyal ang laway kaysa ngiti. Kasi, kahit sino, pwede mong ngitian, pero ang laway, tutulo lang sa taong gusto mong tikman!

3384. Money can't buy happiness, but somehow, it's more comfortable to cry in BMW than on a bicycle.

3385. How do you compare Erap and Mike Arroyo? Both are billionaires. Both Ateneans. Both fat. Both alias Jose. Both are liars. Pero si Erap, mas may taste sa babae!

3386. It's not true that beer makes you fat. It actually makes you lean. Lean on walls, lean on doors and lean on to the person you love. Yun yun eh! Lasing lasingan, para-paraan!

3387. Mike Arroyo met Gary Kasparov. Mike: If the present situation in my country is like a chess game, what would you do? Gary: Sacrifice the queen, ride the horse, leave the castle, follow the bishop and resign!

3388. Pari, nagmimisa. Sino sa inyo ang may kaaway? Taas kamay lahat pwera sa isang matandang babae. Pari: Si lola lang ang walang kaaway. Ano po ang edad nyo, lola? Lola: 93 anyos. Pari: Tingnan nyo si lola, 93 anyos na pero walang kaaway! Lola, bakit wala kayong kaaway? Lola: Patay na ang mga walang hiya!

3389. Men are like parking spots. The good ones are taken and the free ones are handicapped. Hahaha.

3390. Alcohol solves no problems, neither does milk. Pero buti pa ang alak, libre kung minsan. Ang gatas? Meron bang nanglibre ng gatas at sabi, tara, dede tayo!?

3391. Daga1: Ako tapang! Kain ako ng Racumin! Daga2: Mas tapang ako. Kain ako ng cheese with mouse trap. Daga3: Ako tapang sa lahat! Girlfriend ko, pusa! Makes sense? Be brave enough to love someone whom you know might kill you in the end. Akalain mo, may moral lesson pa yun?! Hahaha!

3392. Kung amoy putok ka, be proud! Pinagpawisan mo yan eh!

3393. Chinese Diplomat: Madam Plesident, we heard you have a shortage of lies (rice). GMA: To tell you frankly, we will never run out of it!

3394. Sabi ng puso ko, mahal ko sya. Sabi ng utak ko, huwag, hindi tama. Sabi ko naman, O, baka yung atay, bituka, baga dyan, gusto ring magcomment. Go on!

3395. Kung hindi mo kayang magpaliwanag, magpagabi ka na lang!

3396. Anong isda ang mahilig magtampisaw sa ulan? Sagot: Hito! - Hito akooooo. Basang basa sa ulan, walang masisilungan. Haha!

3397. Pinadalhan ni Vicky Belo ng sulat ang lahat ng gwapo at magaganda. Alam mo ba kung ano ang laman ng sulat? Hindi mo alam? Hindi ka pinadalhan??!

3398. Bakit hindi pwedeng magsuot ng hairnet ang mga kalbo? Kasi, magmumukha silang microphone! Wahaha! Extreme! Extreme! Magic sing!

3399. Time, I've been passing time watching trains go by... - Guard sa LRT. Hahaha!

3400. Three men who were about to go to outer space but only allowed one thing to bring. Man1: I wanna go with my wife. I can't be without my wife for a year. Man2: I'll go with my book. I want to have more knowledge. Man3: Give me a pack of cigarettes, I'll die without it in my life. One year later, they came back. Man1 came out with a child, the second came and spoke words nonstop. The last man came out very angry. Tangna! Lighter nga pala! Sad noh?!



Contributors:

3351-3352, 3358, 3363, 3384-3400 :Asha (+63921955***9)
3353-3356. Anonymous (+63920801***3)
3357, 3362, 3364-3369, 3371-3383. Anonymous (+63910555***9)
3359, 3370: Eroica
3360-3361: Vahnrey (+639192274***5)

1 comment:

enday said...

Halu.txtmates..hehe
add po kita sa links ko..add mo na lang din po ako. godbless!