1102. It takes a strong heart to love. It takes a stronger heart to continue to love after it has been hurt. Good night!
1103. Love isn't a decision, it's a feeling. If we could decide who to love, then, life would be much simpler, but then less magical. - Southpark.
1104. Don't wait until it's too late to tell someone how much you love, how much you care. Because when they're gone, no matter how loud you shout and cry, they won't hear you anymore.
1105. A smile is the best lighting system of the face, the best cooling system of the head, and the best warming system of the heart. Keep smiling! =)
1106. No life ever grows great until it is focused, dedicated, and disciplined. But no life is ever happy until it is lived for the glory of God. Keep the faith. Good morning!
1107. Thank you for touching my life in ways you may never know. My riches do not lie in material wealth, but in having friend like you - a precious gift from God.
1108. Having a good laugh with a friend like you stimulates endorphins, the brain’s natural painkillers. So, if you need to laugh and you can’t find a friend like yourself, I can lend you my mirror.
1109. One lie is enough to break a trust. One sentence is enough to break a heart. One second is enough to lose a battle. One smile is enough to fall in love. One mistake is enough to lose a job. One touch is enough to heal a wounded heart. But whatever our pain, whatever our struggle, one God is more than enough. Good evening!
1110. Life is pretty much unpredictable. I may not live long enough but I won't miss out letting you know that life is worth living with someone like you around.
1111. In life, you'll find someone who will puff smoke and drink with you till sun is up. But what I promise you is that I'll be the one who will stay with you when all you see is an empty beer bottle and an empty cigarette case.
1112. Jesus and Satan competed on the computer. They started typing. They did every known job, reports, e-mails, attachments and downloads. But before the time was up, lightning, thunder and rain, and brownout came! Satan cursed. Jesus just sighed. When electricity was back, Satan lost every single thing he had done. But Jesus started printing all his files. Satan shouted: You cheated! Jesus just smiled. He did what Satan didn't know: Jesus saves.
1113. Erap writing a request letter to order 2 geese. "I would like to order 2 gooses." Mali yata. "I would like to order 2 geeses." Mali rin yata. Ito na lang. "Dear sir, I would like to order 1 goose. Thank you very much. P.S. Please add 1 goose."
1114. Sometimes, my mind asks. Why I miss you? Why I care for you? Why I remember you? Why I text you? Then my heart answered, Mongoloids need more care! Hehehe. Now, you're smiling! =)
1115. A housewife hears door bell. When she opens the door, a man asks if she has a vagina. She slams the door in disgust that a stranger could ask such a thing. Same thing happens for 3 days. She tells husband. He does not go to work the next day and tells wife to say yes if he comes again. "I will hide behind the door." Next day, man comes and knocks. He asks, "Do you have a vagina?" She says "Yes!" Man says, "Good! Then, please tell your husband to stop f*cking my wife!"
1116. In New York, Mike Arroyo asked a prostitute. Mike: How much? Prostitute: $100. Mike: That's too much! How about $10? Prostitute: No way! Next day, the prostitute saw Mike with GMA. Prostitute: See what you get for $10! =)
1117. 12 priests to be ordained lined up with a tiny bell attached to their penis. A sexy nude girl danced before each of them. If the bell rings, no ordination. The first 11, no bell rang. At the last priest, his bell rang very loud and flew to the ground. He bent over to pick it up. All the other bells rang!
1118. Zodiac signs about kissing. Aries - quick and passionate. Taurus - deliberate, heartfelt. Gemini - interrupted by giggles, smiles. Cancer - warm and tender. Leo - wild, biting. Virgo - subtle and tidy. Libra - a relief from stress. Scorpio - skip the kiss and wanted sex. Sagittarius - surprising, wanted more. Capricorn - worrying about breath. Aquarius - wet and messy, eyes open. Pisces - starry-eyed, long kiss.
1119. All you have to do in life is go out with your friends, party hard, and look twice as good as the bitch standing next to you. - Paris Hilton.
1120. A father was trying to teach his young son about the evils of alcohol. He put one worm in a glass of water and another worm in a glass of whisky. The worm in the water lived, while the worm in the whisky curled up and died. "Alright, son" asked the father, "What does this show?" "Well dad, it shows that if you drink alcohol, you will not have worms." =)
1121. I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in. =)
1122. I'm so masaya that I have a friend like you because you tanggap me as me. I always pasalamat to the lord that I met you and I hope you will not bago your ugali because I like you as ikaw! devah?
1123. Inaantok na ako. Pagod kasi. Masyadong busy. Pero naalala kita! Greet muna kita. Good night!
1124. We really don't need so many friends. What will you do with so many if only few are true? For me, I can be contented with only 3 or 2, basta dapat paglingon ko, one of them is you!
1125. If one day, you decide to give up on me, I'll understand. And if I remember you, I would be grateful for the fact that minsan, ikaw yung isa sa mga taong sumalo sa akin at nagpaalala na hindi ako nag-iisa!
1127. When I'm sad, I talk to God, then I'm ok. When I'm depress, I talk to God again, then I'm ok. When I'm in pain, I talk to God even more, then He'll comfort me. Pero ang tao, kapag si God ang tumawag, madalas, deadma. "Lord, I'm so sorry for causing you too much pain." Send this as much as you can, the more you send shows how much you are sorry. Kaya mo bang deadmahin ito??
1128. Live your life to the fullest as if it's your last! Oopss, luma na yan! Ito ang bago. Mas malupit pa! Live today as if you will stand before God tomorrow! Oh di ba? Good morning!
1129. Minsan, naiisip ko, bakit ba kita nakilala? Para saan at dumating ka? Pero napapatahimik na lang ako tapos napapangiti. Baka kasi akalain ni Lord, nagrereklamo ako! Mahirap na. Baka bawiin ka nya. Ayoko nga!
1130. If you make talikod to me, I will not be galit. I will just panood you lakad, but if suddenly you dapa, I'll say, You kasi eh, not making ingat. Come here nga, I'll make you yakap! =)
1131. What if the person you love sacrifice you just to have another love? Would you fight and never give up? Ako? Lalayo na lang. Why? Isinuko nya ako eh, tapos ipaglalaban ko sya? Kalokohan!
1132. Girls? Definitely, magaganda! Dapat, siniseryoso kahit bolera, masarap naman magmahal. Sweet and loyal, pero kapag niloko, for sure iiyak. Pero kapag ok na, magsisisi ang nagpaiyak! Dahil ang girls, rumeresbak!
1133. At muling nagbabalik ang inyong kaibigan na nambubulabog tuwing may load. Kumusta na kayo mga kapuso ko? Ito nga pala ang texter na kahit walang pera, mukha namang artista. Good morning!
1134. Isubo mo ang kahabaan ko. Dilaan. Sipsipin. Paglaruan sa bibig mo. Para lumabas ang katas ko na kinasasabikan mo. Nagmamahal - Ice candy.
1135. Anak: Inay, ang galing ng titser ko. Inay: Bakit naman? Anak: Tinuruan kami ng kagandahang asal. Lola: Eh di marunong ka nang gumalang at magpo at opo? Anak: Natural! Tanga ka ba?
1136. Ang buhay ay parang holiday. Kapag masaya, Pasko. Kapag nagdadalamhati, Holy Week. Kapag umiibig ka, Valentine's Day. Tumingin ka lang sa salamin, Halloween na! =)
1137. Use "Bampira" in a sentence! Ahmm, Dodong. Pautang naman, meron ka bampira?!
1138. Be careful with Erap jokes that you text to your friends. Erap is now monitoring cellphone networks such as Smart, Sun and Globe to find who is making fun of him. This message is texted in English to avoid detection.
1139. Kapag may taong nagsabi sa iyo na ibibigay nya ang buwan at bituin, huwag kang maniwala dahil kahit sungkitin nya ang buwan at bituin, aanhin mo naman yun?!
1140. The world is so big, di ba? Imagine?! 7 billion people, 7 continents, over a hundred countries, pero paano tayo nagkakilala? That is what you call "Kamalasan!" =)
1141. Hindi kita pinipilit na isipin ako, hindi ko rin sinasadyang istorbohin ka sa ginagawa mo. Huwag ka sanang magagalit kung makulit ako. Pero tanong ko lang, "May regalo ka na ba sa akin sa Pasko?" =)
1142. A Chinese woman married an Englishman. She can't speak English. At the grocery, she wanted to buy pork leg, she showed her legs. Next day, she needed chicken breast, she showed her breast. Third day, she brought along her husband because she wanted sausage. What did she do? Ikaw ha, iba iniisip mo. Her husband can speak English, di ba? =)
1143. Anak: Itay, ano ba ang birdflu? Kasi, maraming nabibiktima ng birdflu. Ama: Kaya nga kita pinag-aaral para matuto ka eh. Ang birdflu ay past tense ng bird fly.
1144. Dakakaidis talaga. Bay sipod da damad ako. Barado da damad ilog ko. Bahirap da damad batulog. O, bakit gadyad ka bagsalita? Bay sipod ka did? =)
1145. Adik lang sa paningin. May puso't damdamin. Subukan lang nilang mahalin. Mababaliw sila sa akin.
1146. May mga sugat na mahirap lunasan. Mga sakit na mahirap kalimutan. Pero mas mahirap tanggapin kung ang peklat na maiiwan ay magsasabi ng "Hahaha! We'll be together, forever!" =)
1147. What comprises a college student? 1% inspiration, 99% perspiration and 200% lakwatsa session for a total of 3.0/75. Sakto lang para pumasa! =)
1148. How to get the person you love? 1. Be friendly sa kanya. 2. Intindihin mo sya. 3. Mahalin mo lang sya hanggang magsawa ka. Kapag wala pa ring nangyari, lasingin mo! Talo-talo na! =)
1149. Hindi ako umaasang maging isang mahalagang tao sa iyong buhay ngunit umaasa ako na balang araw, marinig mo ang pangalan ko, nangingiti ka't sasabihin mong "Cute yan sa personal!"
1150. Q: May 10 inggitera, nagpakamatay ang isa, ilan ang natira? A: Eh di wala, kasi lahat nainggit, gumaya tuloy!
Contributors:
1101-1103,1115-1122: Erica
1104,1113: Abet (+63917866***0)
1105-1106: Agnes (+63916494***9)
1107,1129: Rhoanne
1108: Jack
1109: Jenasarang
1110: Arnel
1111: Carlo (+639228149229)
1112: Lojik
1114: Anonymous (+63920240***0)
1123-1125,1135-1136: Tekla
1126-1127,1132-1134: Anonymous (+63918613***0)
1128: Irish
1130: Tsina
1131: Mylene (+63917806***8)
1137-1150: Ronsky
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