Sep 25, 2009

text messages 3876- 3905

Hello guys!! Here's another batch of text messages. from inspirational text messages, romantic love quotes, funny text messages to pinoy text jokes. I'll be posting next time more text messages that you can share with your family and friends.


Inspirational Text Messages

3876. Every bad situation will have something positive. Even a dead clock shows correct time twice a day. Stay positive... God knows what's best for us. Have a happy morning!! =)

3877. Only in God we are truly safe and secure. Anything else is false security, whether you are surrounded by mighty walls of stone, a comfortable home or a secure job. No one can predict what tomorrow may bring. Our relationship with God is the only security that cannot be taken away. God Bless!!

3878. Like birds, let's leave behind what we don't need to carry...Grudges, sadness, pain, fear and regrets! Fly light... Life is beautiful! Good Morning!!

3879. Don't run ahead of God. Let Him direct your steps. He has plans and He has time. God's clock is never early nor late... it always strikes on time.

3880. Don't count what you lost, cherish what you have and plan what to gain, because past never returns, but the future may fulfill the loss. =)


Romantic Love quotes

3881. When people hurt you over and over, think of them like a sand paper. They may scratch and hurt you a bit, but in the end you'll end up polished and they will end up USELESS.

3882. It is the things in common that make relationships enjoyable, but it is the little differences that make them interesting.

3883. For every beauty there is an eye somewhere to see it. For every truth there is an ear somewhere to hear it. For every love there is a heart somewhere to receive it.

3884. My love for you is a journey; starting at forever, and ending at never.

3885. Age does not protect us from love, but love to some extent protects us from age.


Funny Text Messages and Pinoy Text Jokes

3886. A girl who opens her mind receives WISDOM, opens her heart receives LOVE, opens her hand receives GIFTS, opens her legs...receives hapPENIS. Hmmm...Wrong spelling ata noh? =)

3887. Everyone has a dream... mine is to sit at a beach sharing a bottle of exquisite wine while watching the stars in the arms of the person I'll cherish forever and share eternal love...Joke lang!!! Ang dream ko lang talaga ay magkapera...maraming maraming pera iyong tipong pinapanggatong sa sinaing. Hahahaha!

3888. Jacob and Ruth, both 89 are planning their wedding. They visit a pharmacy and ask: Do you carry medicines to control blood pressure, diabetes and cholesterol? Do you have viagra? How about medicines to promote blood circulation and memory? Medicines against arthritis and osteoporosis? Do you carry adult diapers? What about wheelchairs and walkers? Pharmacist says YES to all. "In that case, say's Jacob, we'd like to choose your store for our Bridal Registry.

3889. Bed is just a material thing...until someone you meet gives it the best meaning. hehehe!

3890. I'm a butterfly...a pretty little brown...butterfly. Ito sabi ng baklang ipis... Malandi!!! hahaha!!!

3891. Words to live by ng mga tamad: "Whenever I feel like cleaning my room...I lie down until the feeling is gone." Hahaha!!! Tamad nga.

3892. Shopping is better than sex. At least if you're not satisfied, you can exchange it for something you really like.

3893. An old lady offers peanuts to a bus driver, so the driver munches the peanut happily. Every after 5 minutes the old lady gives a handful of peanut to the bus driver. DRIVER: Why don't you eat them yourself? OLD LADY: I can't chew them. Look I don't have teeth. DRIVER: Then why did you buy them? OLD LADY: Ohh!!! I just love the chocolate around them. Hahaha!!!

3894. A foreigner had a traffic violation: MMDA: (with pen and ticket) Name?!! FOREIGNER: Wilhelm Von Corgrinzksky Pavacovitz. MMDA: Hmmmmnnnn... Next time be careful ha? Sige, you go na.

3895. Passenger taps taxi driver's shoulder: Nyahhh!!! Sigaw ng driver. PASSENGER: Bakit ka sumigaw? Driver: Sorry boss, bago lang kasi ako sa taxi. 25 years kasi akong driver ng punerarya. hehehe.

3896. Boy: Miss, para kang saranggola. Girl: alam ko na yan! Para akong magandang ibong lumilipad. Boy: mali! Para kang saranggola.. Kapag malayo, maganda.. :) hahaha!!!

3897. When a person tells you, "ang ganda/gwapo mo!" It’s good to answer with, "thank you, sana ikaw din." ahahaha ‘yan ang banat!

3898. NARS: doc, bat tinanggihan nyo yung pasyente?
DR: alin, yung bakla? NARS: opo. Baka sabihin namimili tayo, porket bading siya. DR: ano naman raraspahin ko sa kanya?

3899. Pasyente: Tulungan niyo po ang kapatid ko! Iniisip niya isa siyang aso! Psychiatrist: Kelan ba niya simulang inisip ito? Pasyente: Simula po nung tuta pa siya. Toink! heheheh

3900. TITSER: late ka na naman Juan! lagi na lang ganyan! Sige tatanungin kita! 'Who is 0ur national hero?' JUAN: Jose Rizal ma'am. TITSER: chamba lang yan. JUAN: eh ma'am kilala nyo ba si Petra? TITSER: hinde. bakit? JUAN: kitam! Turo ka ng turo pero kabit lang ng asawa mo di mo pa alam!!

3901. Mrs: delayed ako ng 1 month, pero wag mo muna pagsasabi nahihiya ako.
Mr: Ok. Next day dumating taga Meralco.
Meralco: Misis delayed po kayo ng 1 buwan.
Mrs: Ha? Pano mo nalaman?
Meralco: e, nasa record po.
Mr: aba, bakit nakarecord dyan na delayed Mrs. ko?
Meralco: Kung gusto nyo mawala sa record, magbayad po kayo.
Mr: E kung ayoko magbayad?
Meralco: e di mapipilitan po kaming putulan kayo.
Mr: Ha? Tarantado ka pala e! E anong gagamitin ni mrs?
Meralco: pwede naman po siya gumamit ng kandila.

3902. Wife: Hon, kain na, nakahain na. Husband: Susunod na ako, hon. Sa dinner table...
Wife: Dati-dati, ikaw ang nagluluto at ikaw din ang naghahain sa mesa. Nami-miss ko na yun, hon. Husband: Eh, hon naman! Boy ninyo pa lang ako nuon. MAY ASENSO TALAGA ANG BUHAY! Ü

3903. Lola: Iho, ako ay isinumpa. Isa akong princesa. Kung ako ay iyong gagahasain babalik ako sa maganda kong anyo at tuluyang mapuputol ang sumpa.
(makaraan and 15 mins)
Lalaki: Yan, tapos na. bakit di ka pa rin nagpapalit ng anyo?!
Lola: Ilang taon ka na iho?
Lalaki: 30 na ho.
Lola: yang tanda mong yan naniniwala ka pa sa fairy tale?

3904. "Kung mahalaga ka talaga sa isang tao, hahanap siya ng paraan para magka oras sayo. Kung wala siyang oras sayo, wala siyang relos":-P Hehehe..:-D

3905. Tatlong batang mayayaman at mayayabang ang nag usap at nagpapayabangan.
Boy1: nung birthday ko niregaluhan ako ng daddy ng 2 yate.
Boy2: wala ka! Nung birthday ko 3 barko ang niregalo sakin. Barko ha, hindi yate!
Boy3: ang yayabang nyo! Yaya! Nalinis mo naba yung dagat na niregalo sakin ni daddy? Pakitanggal nga ng 2 yate at 3 barko din. Maliligo na ako.




Contributors:

3876,3901-3905; Shierell Polinar (0910711***6)
3877-3881, 3890-3895 ; Syvil Lingo (0920725***0)
3882-3885; Jane (0918799***0)
3886; Christine Redondo (0910286***6)
3887-3888, 3896-3900; Asha (0921955***9)
3889; Donser (0929221***7)

2 comments:

hilarious text messages said...

good one

skyblue said...

A boy went to a sexy hotel order one cup milk the lady waiter suddenly opens her tops, bra, and ask him to drink! He thought, Thank god..! I didn’t ask water.