Sep 4, 2007

text messages 2851 - 2900

2851. A life filled with love must have some thorns, but a life empty of love will never have roses.

2852. Do not ask the Lord to guide your steps if you are not willing to move your feet.

2853. Those who gaze at giants live like grasshoppers; those who gaze at God live like giants. God bless.

2854. Measuring life by what others do to you may disappoint you. But measuring life by what you do for others will add more meaning to your life. Good morning!

2855. In life, if you are intelligent, you are admired. If you are prominent, you are envied. If you are powerful, you are feared. But if you are blessed with a good heart, you are remembered. God bless!

2856. When people accuse us of lying, don't get too affected because we know we never lie, we just don't tell them everything.

2857. Blessings are not something we have to ask for, they are already there, all we have to do is count them and thank the Giver everyday. Good night!

2858. Smile increases value of face. Anger spoils beauty of soul. Faith is force of life. Confidence is companion of success. So, keep smiling, cute child of God. Take care always!

2859. Be grateful that you don't have everything you want. That means you have the opportunity to be happier tomorrow than you are today. Sleep sweetly. Good night!

2860. What you don't know will not hurt you, it's what you suspect that f*cks everything up!

2861. Never let the things you want make you forget the things you already have.

2862. A jewel of a friend is like a simple calculator. Someone who adds confort, subtracts fear, divides blessings and multiplies joy. Take care and God bless.

2863. True friends always stand behind you during your bad times. Check your marriage album. All your friends were standing right behind you!

2864. People are amazing when they are nice, they are wonderful when they are true. But do you know that they are a blessing when they are like you?! Good morning!

2865. To boys from cupid: Never leave the girl that destiny picked for you. Truly, distance makes the heart grow fonder but too much will instead make you wander. Always make your presence felt for all she needs is emotional assurance. There is one girl who is meant to catch my arrow for you and nothing can change that, not time nor circumstance.

2866. To girls from cupid: A man's heart is as fragile as a butterfly's wing. Never hold it too tightly for in time, he will rest right on the palm of your hands.

2867. A man will try to seduce every girl except the one he loves, but a nice girl will not be seduced by any man except the man she loves.

2868. Half my life is over and I have nothing to show for it. Nothing. I'm a thumbprint on the window of a skyscraper. I'm a smudge of excrement on a tissue surging out to sea with a million tons of raw sewage. - from the movie Sideways.

2869. Don't make fun of girls around my eyes for it echoes toward my ears; and that my mind narrows on that state; for my imagination can ruin everything; I mean everything!

2870. Teacher: You've been absent with the same excuse. Your lolo died 4 times in 4 months! Now, what is your excuse? Student: My lola is getting married to my 5th lolo!

2871. Quote of the day: For every girl with a broken heart, there's always a boy with a scotch tape.

2872. Love can move all mountains. Love can clean dark gray clouds in the sky. Love can give colors where there are none. And love can remove all underwear! Hehehe.

2873. Mr1: Whenever my wife needs money, she calls me "handsome." Mr2: Really? Mr1: Yes, "Hand some money over!"

2874. Pregnant stewardess applied for leave of absence. Boss: Why? Stewardess: It's sort of an accident. Boss: Was it job related? Stewardess: Yes, Pilot-error.

2875. Definition of wife: Someone who'll stand by you through all the troubles which you wouldn't have had if you had stayed single.



2876. Did you hear about the new type of Viagra, Viagra Lite? It's for people who only want to masturbate! Hehehe.

2877. Hindi ko hinihiling na manatili ka sa akin habang buhay. Manatili ka hangga't gusto mo, walang bakit, walang paano, walang pero, walang pangako. Basta manatili ka, masaya na ako!

2878. Kapag dumating ang araw na naramdaman mong dalawa ang mahal mo, huwag ka nang mamili pa. Doon ka na lang sa pangalawa. Bakit? Kasi, hindi ka naman magmamahal ng iba kung talagang mahal mo yung una eh.

2879. Mahilig ako sa music. Ganda sa pakiramdam, nakakagaan ng problema, nakakapagpalakas ng loob. Pero alam mo kung bakit gustong gusto ko ito? Kasi naalala kita. Sa akin kasi, isa ka sa pinakamagandang kanta.

2880. Let us see if I can still recall the alphabet. A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T V W X Y Z. Ooops! I miss U!

2881. Valer kuberch, kahit jutay, ang julamantrax donchi ay anek-anek. Nyongkamas at nutring, nyogarilyas at kipay, nyitaw, nyotaw, jutani. Kundol, jutola, jupot, jolabastrax, at mega join-join pa, jobanox nyustasa, nyubuyax, nyomatis, nyowang at luyax, and around the keme ay fullness ng linga! - Bahay Kubo, Gay version.

2882. Girl: Itay, nagbold po ako sa magazine. Tingnan nyo po ang picture ko sa page 10. Itay: Anak! Sa palagay mo ba, may mas nakakahiya pa dito?! Girl: Meron pa po itay! Tingnan nyo sa page 16, si Inay!

2883. Bob: Nakakamagkano ka sa isang araw? Pulubi: 200 na ang pinakamababa. Bob: Hindi na rin masama, no? Anong mabibili mo nyan? Pulubi: Pwede na ito sa isang caramel frap cream-based venti tsaka isang cinnamon swirl sa Starbucks.

2884. The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits. - Albert Einstein.

2885. The word "woman" has "man" in it. The pronoun "mrs" has "mr" in it. The noun "female" has "male" in it. Another pronoun "she" has "he" in it. Even the French "madam" has "adam" in it. It is therefore no wonder nga, under ang mga lalake sa mga babae! Wahaha!

2886. Do you know why they made beer taste bitter? So one would take time to drink, more time to talk. It's the time spent together, not the beer! Kaya masarap mag-inuman!

2887. May isang pari, nag-illegal parking. Nag-iwan sya ng note sa car: "Pari ako. Walang maparkingan. Please, huwag mo akong tiketan. Forgive my trespasses." Pagbalik nya, may ticket at note sa car nya: "Pulis ako. Kung hindi kita titiketan, magkakasala ako. Lead me not into temptation. Pero kung mag-iipit ka ng pera sa lisensya mo, baka pwede na. Give us this day our daily bread."

2888. Mom with her son saw a man walking. Son: Ma, tingnan mo sya, sakang! Hahaha! Mom scolded her son and decided he needed to change his manners and choice of words. She enrolled him in a Shakespeare's class. When they saw the man again: Son: Hark! What manner of men are this, who weareth their legs in parenthesis?!

2889. Kadalasan, ibinabase ng mga girls sa hitsura kung mamahalin ang isang guy. Pero hindi dapat ganun! Hindi naman sa mukha nakikita yun eh. Kundi sa loob. Sa loob ng brief! Yun yun eh! Hahaha!

2890. Ano ang tawag sa taong walang baga? Wala lung! Nyahahaha! Corny!

2891. No classes/work until Friday. Two super typhoon are expected to hit the country tomorrow. - PAGASA ng mga tinatamad! Hehehe. Pass it!

2892. Question: Bakit laging present tense ang "I can think?" Answer: Kasi, kung "I can thought," bastos ang dating, di ba?

2893. Ito, sure na malupit. Guy: Miss, ipinaglihi ka ba sa inodoro? Gal: Bakit? Guy: Kasi, ako, ipinaglihi sa tae. Nung nakita kita, hindi ko mapigilang mahulog!!!

2894. Babae at lalaki, nagkasalubong, matagal nagkatitigan. Babae: Bakit mo ako tinititigan? Ano ang iniisip mo sa akin? Lalake: Katulad din ng iniisip mo sa akin. Babae: Bastos! =)

2895. Apo ni Erap: Lolo, may assignment kami, find the least common denominator daw. Erap: Ha? Nung elementary ako, assignment na namin yan! Hindi pa ba yan nahahanap?!

2896. Sometimes, people choose to leave not because of selfish reasons, but because they just know that things will get worse if they will stay. Leaving can be a tough act, and it's harder when people can hardly understand you for doing so. - Comment ni Inday sa pag-alis ni Angel Locsin sa GMA 7.

2897. Amo: Inday, bumili ka nga ng mga isda. Ay, oo nga pala, inglesera ka na ngayon. Would you please buy many fishes for this week's meals? Inday: Judging by your statement, I believe you meant a variety of fish. The term "fishes" although rarely used, connotes a plethora of different kinds of the said gilled aquatic creatures. But the more pressing questions before I go to the wet market would be: what type of fish? Fillet or not? Lufet!

2898. Amo: Inday! Bakit may bukol si Junior? Inday: Compromising safety with useless aesthetics, the not-so-well engineered architectural design of our kitchen lavatory inexorably affected the boy’s cranium with a slight boil at the left temple lobe near the auditory organ. Amo: (nosebleed!)

2899. Slap the face of that crazy bitch! You must show to her that regardless of the class we belong in the society, respect should not be put at risk! Angelika is nothing but an opportunist, heartless devila! I damn hate her! Duh! - Inday, watching Marimar.

2900. Love - a wildly misunderstood although highly desirable malfunction of the heart that weakens the brain, causes the eyes to sparkle, cheeks to glow, blood pressure to rise and the lips to pucker! - Inday, gumagawa ng blog nya sa Friendster! Taray talaga!

Contributors:
2851-2858, 2863-2866, 2870-2876, 2885-2897: Asha (+63917898***7)
2859-2861, 2878, 2881-2884, 2898-2900: Eroica
2862: Anonymous (+63920801***3)
2867: Starfish
2868: Anonymous (+63917627***7)
2869: Anonymous (+63920209***2)
2877: Anonymous (+63920240***0)
2879-2880: Anonymous (+63919615***4)

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