text messages 2951 - 3000

2951. God hides from us the things that we are not yet ready to receive. That is why when we try to get it ourselves, we end up with the second best. Just pray and wait. Good evening!

2952. Nights are the best time to be peaceful, to plan your tomorrow, and above all, to thank God thru prayers for all His blessings. Good night and sleep well!

2953. Feel the fresh and gentle touch of the Holy Spirit and let the overflowing joy and love of God be with you today and forever. Have a nice day!

2954. Prayer lifts our hearts above the battles of life and gives us a glimpse of God's power which spells victory and hope. God bless. Good morning.

2955. God gives us a loving spirit so we can be a true person, not just gifted with a mind that can understand but with a heart that truly cares. Good morning.

2956. Patience is not the ability to wait, but the ability to keep a good attitude while waiting. Keep the faith. God makes all things beautiful in His time. Good evening!

2957. Many sincere people were desired for seeking happiness because they feel that it was “selfish” or “wrong”. Happiness is not a “payoff” or a “prize” but rather a natural accompaniment, the “being” or “acting”. though it may not coincide with others’ prejudices, this doesn't mean it’s wrong.

2958. We are disturbed not by the things that happened, but by their opinion of the things that happened.

2959. There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so. – William Shakespeare

2960. I know you trust me, and I will never take it from you ever.

2961. I would rather live and love where death is king than have eternal life where love is not. - Robert G. Ingersoll

2962. When I speak about love – it is really love. If you don’t believe it, it’s not my problem anymore. – Jesse Castle Knott

2963. If sex is only what I'm up to, I won’t hold on to you this far, for the pleasure it gives, I can have it by my own. – Jesse Castle Knott

2964. If only I knew that I would be misjudged, I should have keep this love to myself and never let it shown. – Jesse Castle Knott

2965. A finely tempered nature longs to escape from the personal life into the world of objective perception and thought. – Albert Eintein

2966. Giving is the secret of a healthy life. Not necessarily money, but whatever a person has - encouragement, sympathy and understanding. – John D. Rockfeller, Jr.

2967. Next time you are troubled, remember: No matter how painful your decision is, as long as you can sleep well at night, it means that you made the right choice.

2968. Wise man said: Watch your thoughts for they become words. Choose your words for they become actions. Understand your actions for they become habits. Study your habits for they will become your character. Develop your character, for it becomes your destiny. Have a great life with a destiny of your choice!

2969. Remember: When there are rumors about you, it automatically means you're interesting. :)

2970. Once you enter this family, there's no getting out. This family comes before everything else, everything. - Tony Soprano

2971. I am the master of myself. - Napoleon Bonaparte.

2972. Morning is a wonderful blessing, either stormy or sunny, it stands for hope, giving us another start of what we called life. Good morning!

2973. A kind word doesn't cost anything, it never hurts the tongue or lips, it can accomplish much and bring out good and beautiful images out of every person.

2974. When you don't feel good right now, try sitting down and think of the things that made you feel bad but you must accept that there are so many things beyond your control, try not to be affected, just smile and think of good things. Remember, being happy has always been a matter of choice.

2975. If there's any possible consolation in the tragedy of losing someone we love very much, it's the necessary hope that perhaps it's for the best.

2976. When people walk away from you, let them go. Your destiny is never tied to anybody who leaves you. And it doesn't mean that they are bad persons, it just means that their part in the story is over.

2977. No one in this world can dictate to you where you can be happy, if you know where and what it is, go for it. Just remember: Happiness is not a destiny, it's a choice.

2978. 1. Trulalu 2. Eklavu 3. Eklavu 4. Trulalu 5. Trulalu 6. Eklavu 7. Trulalu 8. Trulalu 9. Eklavu 10. Trulalu - isa sa mga batang bading nagsasagot ng True or False sa midterm exam nila. Cuteness noh?

2979. Bakit kapag hindi nyo na alam ang gagawin nyo, laging ako na lang ang bahala? - Batman (sige na nga, with Robin minsan)

2980. Misis: Lagi na lang akong nag-aalala tuwing nag-aout of town ka. Mister: Bakit, umuuwi naman ako kaagad, ah? Misis: Yun na nga ang inaalala ko, kung umuwi ka, biglaan.

2981. The thread asked the candle: Why do you dissolve when I burn? Candle said: You're in my heart, if you suffer, I'm bound to shed tears for you. Pati kandila, umeemote na!

2982. Preso sa silya elektrika: Warden, may last request po ako. Warden: Ano yun? Preso: Hawakan nyo naman ang kamay ko. Moral support lang. O-ha! O-ha!

2983. Makabagong kasabihan: Aanhin mo ang gwapo, kung mas malandi pa sa iyo? Pakshet.

2984. Siguro nga hindi sa lahat ng oras ay aasa tayo sa mga pangarap natin. Masasaktan lang tayo. Kasi, hindi lahat ng pangarap natin, para sa atin, natutupad. Parang ako, pangarap ko lang sya, hanggang pangarap lang. Alam mo naman iba ang mundo naming mga dyosa!

2985. Tanong: Paano mo sasabihin sa isang babae na mataba sya na hindi sya mababastos? Sagot: Uhm, excuse me miss, Mang Tomas ba ang lotion mo?

2986. With the advent of the "-ber" months, signifying the coming of the joyous Christmas season, let me be the first to greet you... Regalo ko!!!

2987. Jinggom bels, jinggom bels, jinggom all the way. O daspan, electric fan, kaldero at pinggan, hey! Kumanta ka pa. Sige pa. Advance Merry Christmas! Hahaha! Hohohoho!

2988. Tanong: Sino ang pinakatangang babae na nabuhay sa sanlibutan? Sagot: Si Eba, nakita na nyang hubo't hubad si Adan, yung mansanas pa ang isinubo. Nyahaha!

2989. Donya Mary counsels Erap on her 102nd birthday: Joseph, anak, hindi mo natapos ang pag-aaral mo, pati pagkapresidente mo! Sana, matapos mo man lang jail term mo!

2990. Apo: Lola, naalala kita tuwing umuulan. Lola: Oh, bakit naman apo? Apo: Amoy lupa. Hehehehe.

2991. Texter: Hi, can you be my textmate? Inday: It depends if you can abide my heavy schedule. You see, I get up at 5am to cook for my bosses, then do my chores till after suppertime. Only then can I reply but I would be very tired already so I guess I won't be of much use as a textmate. Galing talaga ni Inday!

2992. Drunken shrimp and blue lobster meat with caviar serve with milagrosa rice (red variety) and apricot sauce. Vegetables in balsamic vinegar splashed with extra virgin olive oil. Lychee and peach salad with sour cream and cream cheese topped with lemon zests. - Baon ni Junjun sa school na inihanda ni Inday. Hehehe. Tindi talaga ni Inday!

2993. Jeepney driver: Miss, bakit kulang ang bayad mo? Sais lang ito, syete na ang pamasahe ngayon! Inday: I am currently enrolled in a 2 year vocational course in an academic institution. Therefore, I am a student and by this fact I am entitled to have the inalienable right to avail of a certain discount on my jeepney fare. This is why I provided a payment less than what you expected because it is according to the law as stated in the fare matrix. Jeepney driver: Aww!

2994. Listening to the nonsense talk about someone's life is a pathetic way of entertainment. It doesn't contribute to the good of the society. I hate character assassinators! - Reklamo ni Inday ng natsismis sya ng kapitbahay nila!

2995. The consistency was fine. But you see, it seems that the amount of sodium chloride affected the taste drastically and those actions are irreversible. I do apologize. - Nageexplain si Inday kung bakit maalat ang ulam.

2996. Nurture others with positive, truthful words, not words that hurt. It doesn't cost anything to do so. But mean what you say and say what you mean. If you cannot be generous financially, at least be generous with your words - Ang sagot ni Inday nang pinagmumura sya ng sir nya at hindi pinautang nito.

2997. I believe that my trained skills and expertise in management with the use of standard tools, and my discipline and experience will contribute significantly to the value of work that you want. My creativity, productivity and work efficiency and the high quality of outcomes I can offer will boost the work progress. - Inday sa interview ng bago nyang amo.

2998. Consul: Why do you want to go to USA? Amo: To travel and visit relatives. Consul: Denied! Consul: And you? Inday: For life is a never ending pursuit of material and social satisfaction that I tender my great intent of actualizing a transpacific journey to the land of milk and honey. An affable sanctuary where dreams become reality and a perfect habitat where souls like mine can reach the pedestal of freedom. Consul: Lifetime Multiple Entry Visa, granted! Amo, hinimatay!

2999. Overnight inaral ng amo ni Inday ang dictionary para may pangtapat na siya kay Inday. Amo: So, Inday, tell me, how do you accept the fact that you are just a mere chambermaid in this extravagant mansion? Inday: Una camarera? Eres tan pathetic. La unica razon que inscribi tu casa es porque nada esta sucediendo dentro de tu casa cuasi-agradable. Quisiera traer una poca clase en este hogar pero conjeturo que no puedo porque esta casa es fea. Amo: Nosebleed.

3000. Amo: Mula ngayon, walang magsasalita ng English. Ang sinumang magpadugo ng ilong ko at sa mga anak ko, palalayasin sa pamamahay na ito! Klaro ba? Inday: Ang mga namutawi sa inyong mga labi ay mataman ko pong iiimbak sa sulok ng aking balintataw sa kaibuturan ng aking puso, gugunamgunamin, aariing salik ng aba at payak kong kabatiran. Tatalikdan ang matayog at palalong banyagang wika manapay kakalingain, bibigkasin at sakdal timyas na sasambitin ng aking sangkalooban. Toink!


Contributors:
2951-2955, 2972-2977, 2984-2998: Asha (+63917898***7)
2956: Naysli
2857-2966: Jesse Knott (jessekno*****7@yahoo.com)
2967-2971, 2978-2983, 2999-3000: Eroica

text messages 2901 - 2950

2901. The verse "Don't be afraid" appears 365 times in the Bible. Enough assurance that for each day of the year, we can trust God to face everything with Him.

2902. The God we met in good times is the same God we meet in hard times. May the Lord refresh us and give us strength as we face new challenges everyday. Good night!

2903. You are a blessed person with an important role to play in life and God is watching over you with love and concern. Be the best you can be for God's purpose. Good day!

2904. Lord, grant me the vision to see Your plans for the world. Continue to pour out Your blessings. For in everything we do, we shall praise You. Amen.

2905. Life can be happier and less stressful if we remember one simple thought: We can't have all that we desire but GOd will give us all that we deserve.


2906. Little things we give away surely comes back to us some other day, coz God never forget to give rewards to those who share their unselfish hearts. God bless you.

2907. If there is one mistake in your whole lifetime that you can tolerate, it is when you are kind even to those who are undeserving.

2908. Eternity, without it, yesterday is forgotten. Today is taken for granted and tomorrow will never come.

2909. If you are so much focused with what's left behind, you might not be able to see what lies ahead. - Chef Gusteau, Ratatouille.

2910. A good test of character: When you've done something wrong, accept/admit it and be sorry. No one has ever choked to death from swallowing his/her pride.

2911. Just think of happy things and your heart will fly on wings forever! - Peter Pan.

2912. Life will never be better without you, you're not just an ordinary friend, have seen a lot of them but nothing compares to what we have had, that's why I'm keeping you forever in my heart, today though too complicated, way beyond, for all I know, everything is temporary but I'm hanging around with you of my todays. You'll always be my bestfriend, Dude, that's forever and I mean it.

2913. Years from now, I don't know who I'm gonna be, where' I'll be in my life and what I have by then. But one thing would be certain, that you'll still be my friend wherever I'll be.

2914. Friendship is always a promise kept in the heart so when everything is unclear, just remember three things: I'm here, still here, with or without beer. :)

2915. I wish you the best of ber starting today. Bery healthy, bery happy, bery rich, bery well loved, bery kind, and most of all bery young looking always! Bery many blessings to you!

2916. Question: When is the best time to tell someone you love him/her? Answer: Before somebody else does.

2917. It's a mistery why people still fall in love after a heartbreak and risk getting rejected and hurt all over again. I guess it's the dream of finding true love or simply because life is happier when you're in love.

2918. You are part of the puzzle of someone else's life. You may never know where you fit, but others will fill the holes in their lives with pieces of you. So if you run out of reasons to live, remember that someone else's life may never be complete without you in it.

2919. One should always be in love, that's the reason one should never marry. - Ambrose Bierce

2920. The best love is the kind that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more, that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds. And that's what you've given me. That's what I'd hope to give you forever. - Noah, The Notebook.

2921. Life's questions: How old are you before it can be said you died of old age? Why did Sally sell seashells on the seashore when you can just pick them up anyway? In libraries, do they put the bible in the fiction or non-fiction section? Do bald men wash their head with soap or shampoo? Why are red buttons always the most important? Why is it when you're sleeping it's called a drool but when you're awake it's called a spit? Could someone be addicted to counseling, if so, how would you treat them? Why when people ask you, "What 3 things would you bring with you on a desert island?", no one ever replies, "A boat." Why are elderly people often called "old people" but children are never called "new people"?

2922. Doctor: Your sex operation is a success, you now have your pussy. Gay: Thanks doc! Doctor: Oh, here is you dick, since you're so ugly you will need it to f*ck yourself.

2923. Thought of the day: A friend never gets in your way unless you happen to be going down.

2924. Great signs! 1. Gynecologist - Dr. Chua at your cervix. 2. Septic tank truck - Yesterday's meals on wheels. 3. Plumber's office - We repair what your husband fixed. 4. Tire shop - Invite us to your next blowout. 5. Electrical shop - Let us remove your shorts. 6. Maternity room door - Push, push, push! 7. Optometrist's clinic - If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place.

2925. Telling a lie is a fault for a little boy, an art for a lover, an accomplishment for a bachelor, and a matter of survival for a married man.

2926. A man's wife lost interest in sex. Doctor gave him pills to give to his wife. He drops one in wife's coffee and takes one also. After 10 minutes: Wife: I need a man! Man: Me too!

2927. A man applying as security guard was interviewed: "What we ned is a person with suspicious mind, high alert, insistent, unusual sense of hearing and with killer instinct. Do you think you are qualified?" "I'm afraid not. But could I ask my wife to apply?"

2928. Businessman explaining the reason for having two or more wives: "Monopoly is always damaging while competitions improve service!"

2929. May mga taong hindi mo maintindihan. Akala mo, makulit, mabait pala. Akala mo, wala lang, caring pala. Akala mo rude, sweet pala. Mukhang ikaw, no? Pero ako pala. Hehehe.

2930. Mahirap maging perfect sa taong love mo! Nagbago ka dahil sa kanya, nagpakababa ka dahil din sa kanya, pero ang masakit, perfect ka na, iniwan ka pa!!!

2931. Man: Doctor, bakit dinugo sa first night ang asawa ko e dating GRO yan. (Ineksamin ng doktor ang misis) Doc: Wala po kayong dapat ikabahala, natuklap lang po ang kalyo!

2932. Receptionist: Pasok na sir, maraming bago ngayon, mga bata at sexy! Customer: Gusto ko, yung mature na at mataba. Receptionist: Uy, si sir, homesick na!

2933. The bear and the two men. Two men were walking in a forest when they saw a bear. One immediately ran and climbed up a tree. The second man was slow and was left behind. So, the second man pretended to be dead. The bear then came, walked around him and smelled his head. Then the bear went away. When the bear was gone, his friend came down the tree and asked, "What did the bear tell you?" He said, "Don't trust someone who leaves you in time of need or trouble." Hanep! Nagsasalita yung bear!

2934. Hindi ko alam kung anong papel ko sa buhay mo, sa pagkatao mo, o sa puso mo! Meron man o wala, gusto ko lang malaman mo, hindi ako papel, kokomban! kokombaaannn!!

2935. Pare, may dalaga dito sa amin, gustong magwork sa Japan. Pinahiram ko na nga ng pera, sinampal pa ako. Para sinabi ko lang naman na, "Ibalik mo sa akin yan kapag maluwag ka na ha!"

2936. Kung doktor ka, paano mo sasabihin sa pasyente mo na hindi na magtatagal ang buhay nya? Ganito... Makulay! Makulay! Ang buhay! Ang buhay! Makulay ang buhay sa kabilang buhay!

2937. Good morning! A cute greeting from a cute sender. Have a bright morning, cute receiver! Yan ah, patas! =)

2938. Boy: Hayop ka! Hirap na hirap akong nagtatrabaho sa sakahan mo pero sahod ko, hindi tumaas! Kung mamatay ako, sinong magpapakain sa pamilya ko, ikaw? Amo: Inglisin mo para taasan ko sahod mo! Boy: Animal you! Poor poor me to job in your farm but my salary did not climb! If I die, who will eat my family, you?

2939. DTI Inspector: Yung mga ibinebenta nyo raw na toys na made in China, marami daw lead sa pintura nito. Akong: Oo, malami led, pelo melon din silang glins at olens!

2940. Hawakan, salatin, ipasok ang daliri, hanggang 3 pwede, depende sa laki ng butas. Ipasok hanggang ilalim, haplusin pati puwet. Yan ang tamang paghugas ng baso.

2941. Minsan, sa buhay, may gusto tayong hanapin. Tagumpay? Pag-ibig? Kaibigan? Saya? Pero naisip mo ba? Ang nais mong makita sa umaga, pustahan? Ano? Cellphone, di ba? :)

2942. Try this. Mag-isip ka ng dalawang number, from 1 to 100. Huwag mo munang scroll down, ha! Tapos na? Ok, thanks! Good night! (Nagpapaantok lang!)

2943. Today's lesson: Kapag nadulas ka sa harap ng crush mo. The best palusot: "See how I fall for you?" Yun yun! Yun ang tinatawag na poise under pressure!

2944. Tahimik na nakatitig si Inday sa bote ng juice. Dahil nakasulat... Concentrate! Toink!

2945. Ederlyn: Ikaw ba ang Inday na sinasabi nila? At sino ka para itulad sa akin ang iyong kasikatan ngayong ako'y nananahimik na? Wala kang karapatan para pantayan ako! Hayop ka! Inday: My apologies, but the fact is your glory days are over my friend. I find it somewhat ridiculous, your persistence on persuading people to come to your party that never existed is beginning to get into my nerves!Damn you Ederlyn! Damn you! No one undermines Inday's intellect, b*tch! *Evil laugh* - Nag-away na sina Ederlyn at Inday.

2946. 500 ~ GLobe Plan subscription. 1800 ~ Glutathione tablet. 600 ~ Olay Total Effects. 1500 ~ Crocs flip flops. 2000 ~ For Mama. Budget in Inday sa sweldo nya. Ganda nya, noh?

2947. "Je suis triste et solitaire." (I'm sad and lonely) - Instant messaging ni Inday sa kanyang French boyfriend na one month nang hindi sumasagot sa YM at emails nya. Nakakaloka!

2948. 1. Fendi handbag. 2. Balenciaga sandals. 3. Manolo Blanich hi-heels. 4. Chanel furcoat. 5. iPod Video. 6. Motorola Razr, Dolce and Gabbana edition. 7. Sony flatscreen plasma tv. 8. Aquamarine diamond watch. 9. Louis Vuitton bag. 10. Obagi system skin care line. - Wish list ni Inday for Christmas (nakadikit sa ref ng amo nya!)

2949. I'm not extremely good looking but I have a sense of humor. I'm not breathtakingly intelligent but I'm relatively witty. I'm not insanely rich but I'm fairly kind. I'm just a simple guy with a crazy elusive ambition of meeting your acquiantance. So, hi! =) - Dodong, nakikipagtextmate kay Inday.

2950. Mere exchange of messages through these minute digital devices cannot fully express my overwhelming gratitude for getting to know such a dynamic person like you. Hopefully, one day, we can personally meet and find out that we are true individuals not hiding in this virtual facade that we call text messaging. Thanks for being my textmate. - Inday, reply nya kay Dodong!

Contributors:
2901-2908, 2913-2917, 2922-2940, 2948-2950: Asha (+63917898***7)
2909-2910, 2918-2921, 2941-2947: Eroica
2911-2912: Dudai (+63920209***2)

text messages 2851 - 2900

2851. A life filled with love must have some thorns, but a life empty of love will never have roses.

2852. Do not ask the Lord to guide your steps if you are not willing to move your feet.

2853. Those who gaze at giants live like grasshoppers; those who gaze at God live like giants. God bless.

2854. Measuring life by what others do to you may disappoint you. But measuring life by what you do for others will add more meaning to your life. Good morning!

2855. In life, if you are intelligent, you are admired. If you are prominent, you are envied. If you are powerful, you are feared. But if you are blessed with a good heart, you are remembered. God bless!

2856. When people accuse us of lying, don't get too affected because we know we never lie, we just don't tell them everything.

2857. Blessings are not something we have to ask for, they are already there, all we have to do is count them and thank the Giver everyday. Good night!

2858. Smile increases value of face. Anger spoils beauty of soul. Faith is force of life. Confidence is companion of success. So, keep smiling, cute child of God. Take care always!

2859. Be grateful that you don't have everything you want. That means you have the opportunity to be happier tomorrow than you are today. Sleep sweetly. Good night!

2860. What you don't know will not hurt you, it's what you suspect that f*cks everything up!

2861. Never let the things you want make you forget the things you already have.

2862. A jewel of a friend is like a simple calculator. Someone who adds confort, subtracts fear, divides blessings and multiplies joy. Take care and God bless.

2863. True friends always stand behind you during your bad times. Check your marriage album. All your friends were standing right behind you!

2864. People are amazing when they are nice, they are wonderful when they are true. But do you know that they are a blessing when they are like you?! Good morning!

2865. To boys from cupid: Never leave the girl that destiny picked for you. Truly, distance makes the heart grow fonder but too much will instead make you wander. Always make your presence felt for all she needs is emotional assurance. There is one girl who is meant to catch my arrow for you and nothing can change that, not time nor circumstance.

2866. To girls from cupid: A man's heart is as fragile as a butterfly's wing. Never hold it too tightly for in time, he will rest right on the palm of your hands.

2867. A man will try to seduce every girl except the one he loves, but a nice girl will not be seduced by any man except the man she loves.

2868. Half my life is over and I have nothing to show for it. Nothing. I'm a thumbprint on the window of a skyscraper. I'm a smudge of excrement on a tissue surging out to sea with a million tons of raw sewage. - from the movie Sideways.

2869. Don't make fun of girls around my eyes for it echoes toward my ears; and that my mind narrows on that state; for my imagination can ruin everything; I mean everything!

2870. Teacher: You've been absent with the same excuse. Your lolo died 4 times in 4 months! Now, what is your excuse? Student: My lola is getting married to my 5th lolo!

2871. Quote of the day: For every girl with a broken heart, there's always a boy with a scotch tape.

2872. Love can move all mountains. Love can clean dark gray clouds in the sky. Love can give colors where there are none. And love can remove all underwear! Hehehe.

2873. Mr1: Whenever my wife needs money, she calls me "handsome." Mr2: Really? Mr1: Yes, "Hand some money over!"

2874. Pregnant stewardess applied for leave of absence. Boss: Why? Stewardess: It's sort of an accident. Boss: Was it job related? Stewardess: Yes, Pilot-error.

2875. Definition of wife: Someone who'll stand by you through all the troubles which you wouldn't have had if you had stayed single.

2876. Did you hear about the new type of Viagra, Viagra Lite? It's for people who only want to masturbate! Hehehe.

2877. Hindi ko hinihiling na manatili ka sa akin habang buhay. Manatili ka hangga't gusto mo, walang bakit, walang paano, walang pero, walang pangako. Basta manatili ka, masaya na ako!

2878. Kapag dumating ang araw na naramdaman mong dalawa ang mahal mo, huwag ka nang mamili pa. Doon ka na lang sa pangalawa. Bakit? Kasi, hindi ka naman magmamahal ng iba kung talagang mahal mo yung una eh.

2879. Mahilig ako sa music. Ganda sa pakiramdam, nakakagaan ng problema, nakakapagpalakas ng loob. Pero alam mo kung bakit gustong gusto ko ito? Kasi naalala kita. Sa akin kasi, isa ka sa pinakamagandang kanta.

2880. Let us see if I can still recall the alphabet. A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T V W X Y Z. Ooops! I miss U!

2881. Valer kuberch, kahit jutay, ang julamantrax donchi ay anek-anek. Nyongkamas at nutring, nyogarilyas at kipay, nyitaw, nyotaw, jutani. Kundol, jutola, jupot, jolabastrax, at mega join-join pa, jobanox nyustasa, nyubuyax, nyomatis, nyowang at luyax, and around the keme ay fullness ng linga! - Bahay Kubo, Gay version.

2882. Girl: Itay, nagbold po ako sa magazine. Tingnan nyo po ang picture ko sa page 10. Itay: Anak! Sa palagay mo ba, may mas nakakahiya pa dito?! Girl: Meron pa po itay! Tingnan nyo sa page 16, si Inay!

2883. Bob: Nakakamagkano ka sa isang araw? Pulubi: 200 na ang pinakamababa. Bob: Hindi na rin masama, no? Anong mabibili mo nyan? Pulubi: Pwede na ito sa isang caramel frap cream-based venti tsaka isang cinnamon swirl sa Starbucks.

2884. The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits. - Albert Einstein.

2885. The word "woman" has "man" in it. The pronoun "mrs" has "mr" in it. The noun "female" has "male" in it. Another pronoun "she" has "he" in it. Even the French "madam" has "adam" in it. It is therefore no wonder nga, under ang mga lalake sa mga babae! Wahaha!

2886. Do you know why they made beer taste bitter? So one would take time to drink, more time to talk. It's the time spent together, not the beer! Kaya masarap mag-inuman!

2887. May isang pari, nag-illegal parking. Nag-iwan sya ng note sa car: "Pari ako. Walang maparkingan. Please, huwag mo akong tiketan. Forgive my trespasses." Pagbalik nya, may ticket at note sa car nya: "Pulis ako. Kung hindi kita titiketan, magkakasala ako. Lead me not into temptation. Pero kung mag-iipit ka ng pera sa lisensya mo, baka pwede na. Give us this day our daily bread."

2888. Mom with her son saw a man walking. Son: Ma, tingnan mo sya, sakang! Hahaha! Mom scolded her son and decided he needed to change his manners and choice of words. She enrolled him in a Shakespeare's class. When they saw the man again: Son: Hark! What manner of men are this, who weareth their legs in parenthesis?!

2889. Kadalasan, ibinabase ng mga girls sa hitsura kung mamahalin ang isang guy. Pero hindi dapat ganun! Hindi naman sa mukha nakikita yun eh. Kundi sa loob. Sa loob ng brief! Yun yun eh! Hahaha!

2890. Ano ang tawag sa taong walang baga? Wala lung! Nyahahaha! Corny!

2891. No classes/work until Friday. Two super typhoon are expected to hit the country tomorrow. - PAGASA ng mga tinatamad! Hehehe. Pass it!

2892. Question: Bakit laging present tense ang "I can think?" Answer: Kasi, kung "I can thought," bastos ang dating, di ba?

2893. Ito, sure na malupit. Guy: Miss, ipinaglihi ka ba sa inodoro? Gal: Bakit? Guy: Kasi, ako, ipinaglihi sa tae. Nung nakita kita, hindi ko mapigilang mahulog!!!

2894. Babae at lalaki, nagkasalubong, matagal nagkatitigan. Babae: Bakit mo ako tinititigan? Ano ang iniisip mo sa akin? Lalake: Katulad din ng iniisip mo sa akin. Babae: Bastos! =)

2895. Apo ni Erap: Lolo, may assignment kami, find the least common denominator daw. Erap: Ha? Nung elementary ako, assignment na namin yan! Hindi pa ba yan nahahanap?!

2896. Sometimes, people choose to leave not because of selfish reasons, but because they just know that things will get worse if they will stay. Leaving can be a tough act, and it's harder when people can hardly understand you for doing so. - Comment ni Inday sa pag-alis ni Angel Locsin sa GMA 7.

2897. Amo: Inday, bumili ka nga ng mga isda. Ay, oo nga pala, inglesera ka na ngayon. Would you please buy many fishes for this week's meals? Inday: Judging by your statement, I believe you meant a variety of fish. The term "fishes" although rarely used, connotes a plethora of different kinds of the said gilled aquatic creatures. But the more pressing questions before I go to the wet market would be: what type of fish? Fillet or not? Lufet!

2898. Amo: Inday! Bakit may bukol si Junior? Inday: Compromising safety with useless aesthetics, the not-so-well engineered architectural design of our kitchen lavatory inexorably affected the boy’s cranium with a slight boil at the left temple lobe near the auditory organ. Amo: (nosebleed!)

2899. Slap the face of that crazy bitch! You must show to her that regardless of the class we belong in the society, respect should not be put at risk! Angelika is nothing but an opportunist, heartless devila! I damn hate her! Duh! - Inday, watching Marimar.

2900. Love - a wildly misunderstood although highly desirable malfunction of the heart that weakens the brain, causes the eyes to sparkle, cheeks to glow, blood pressure to rise and the lips to pucker! - Inday, gumagawa ng blog nya sa Friendster! Taray talaga!

Contributors:
2851-2858, 2863-2866, 2870-2876, 2885-2897: Asha (+63917898***7)
2859-2861, 2878, 2881-2884, 2898-2900: Eroica
2862: Anonymous (+63920801***3)
2867: Starfish
2868: Anonymous (+63917627***7)
2869: Anonymous (+63920209***2)
2877: Anonymous (+63920240***0)
2879-2880: Anonymous (+63919615***4)