2601. Life is unpredictable, anything could just happen. It might be success or a mess, but for as long as we're learning on the Lord's side, we'll win because God never loses a battle. God bless!
2602. God's hand is upon you today, touching your life with joy, blessing your heart with love and comforting yourself with peace. Smile! Take care!
2603. God's plans are better than ours, that's why God doesn't always say "Yes" to every word we say. Sometimes, He says, "My child, allow me. I have a better way." Good evening!
2604. The happiest people in the world are not those who have no problems, but those who learn to live with things that are less than perfect. Good night!
2605. Happiness is not something you have in your hands. It's something you carry in your heart. Give it away generously and it will return to you a thousand fold. God bless you!
2606. Kinda wondering why sunset is a lot colorful than the sunrise that just actually gives us light? I guess it's the irony of life. There is "good" in "goodbyes."
2607. If you desire long life, if you want to enjoy prosperity, keep your tongue from falsehood, keep your lips from deceit, turn away from evil and do good. Seek peace and pursue it. Keep the faith!
2608. Often, the greatest enemy of present happiness is past happiness too well remembered.
2609. I think everybody should get rich and famous and do everything they ever dreamed of so they can see that it's not the answer. - Jim Carrey.
2610. Some learnings in life: 1. Be kind to yourself. 2. Looking good is feeling good. 3. You are out not to please everybody. 4. Expect little, but do your best and dream big. 5. Smile a lot! It's healthy. 6. Laugh your heart out. Be silly once in a while. 7. Live light and keep it simple. 8. Failure is a good starting point. 9. You are blessed. Don't forget to say thanks. 10. Have faith. God answers our prayers.
2611. I saw a painting of two friends holding hands, it's old yet never fading. How I wish we were the painting. Getting older, yet never changing.
2612. Sometimes people give up on love that's why God made the earth round so that if two people who are meant to be would decide to walk different paths, still at one point of the world, the end of their roads can meet.
2613. Falling in love is never a decision - always by chance. Staying in love is never a chance - always by choice. Falling out of love is never a choice - always a decision.
2614. 10 things to consider in a relationship: 1. Never both be angry at the same time. 2. Never yell at each other. 3. If one of you has to win an argument, let it be your mate. 4. If you must criticize, do it lovingly. 5. Never bring up mistakes of the past. 6. Neglect the whole world rather than each other. 7. Never go to sleep with an argument unsettled. 8. At least once a day, say a complimentary word to your mate. 9. When you have done something wrong, admit and ask forgiveness. 10. It takes two to make a quarrel, but the one who's wrong does the most of it.
2615. Woman are like apples on a tree. The best ones are at the top. Men don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they just get the rotten apples from the ground that aren't good but easy. So the apples on the top think something is wrong with them. When in reality, they are amazing, they just have to wait for the right man to come along. The one who is brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree.
2616. FYI: An average American man measures 5'9". Pinoy average height is 5'4". Humans are a little taller at night (quarter of an inch). Average size of American penis is 6 inches. Average Pinoy penis is 4 inches. Typical guy laughs 15x a day, cries 1.5x a month. An average guy sleeps 7.5 hours a night, 220000 hours sleep in his lifetime. A typical American guy has 14.5 sex partners in his life (excluding sex workers) Men enjoy sex 135x a year. Men can read small prints than women but has weaker location memory. 91% of men lie regularly.
2617. Use your lips for truth, your voice for kindness, your eyes for compassion, your hands for charity, your figure for uprightness, your heart for love and for anyone who doesn't like you, your middle finger! Hahaha!
2618. Simple thought: No matter how serious life gets, you will consequently need the company of people whom you can completely be stupid with.
2619. Husband to doctor: I want a vasectomy. Doctor: Did you discuss this with your family? Husband: I asked my children and they voted favorably, 17-2.
2620. A guy after 3 hours of sex tells his girlfriend: You're not going to see me for a while. Girl: Why? Are you going to leave me? Boy: No. Just turn over. Next position please. :)
2622. This puzzle is exclusively for those who have a sharp mind. How many eggs will a rooster lay in 1 year if it lays 5 eggs a day? No reply, no IQ! Game? I'll wait...
2623. Trivia! A jellyfish is 95% water. Owls are the only birds that can see the color blue. A roach can live 9 days without its head. Camels have 3 eyelids. A goldfish has a memory span of 3 seconds. Pigs are the only animals other than humans that can get sunburn. Rats can't vomit, that's why rat poison works. Lobsters have blue blood. Moths have white blood. Dolphins sleep with one eye open. A mosquito has 47 teeth. Snails can sleep for 21 years.
2624. Your food choices show your mood: Angry people often eat meat which they can chew aggresively, it's like a release. Lonely people eat bulky food such as rice - they feel empty so they want something that makes them feel full. Stressed people eat chips or crackers. Sad people indulge in ice cream and cheese. Sexually frustrated people eat breads and donuts, they want something that slides down easy, no hassles. Source: Reader's Digest, January 2007.
2625. Anger is a condition where the tongue works faster than the mind. Hold it before you regret it! Have a good morning! Take care.
2626. It's hard to wait around for something you know might not happen. But it's harder to give up when you know it's everything you ever wanted.
2627. Girl: Bakit mo ako love? Boy: Ang mata mo, sing ningning ng bituin! Girl: Napanood ko na yan! Boy: You complete me! Girl: Kainis ka talaga! Boy: Tayong dalawa, always kama ang punta! Girl: Ay, love mo ako talaga!!!
2628. Sa kasalan. Pari: Sana, ang donation mo ay katumbas ng ganda ng pakakasalan mo. Groom: Eto, P5 father. Tiningnan ng pari ang bride. Pari: Eto P2, sukli mo!
2629. Wife1: Ang asawa ko ang the best! Hindi babaero, hindi naninigarilyo, hindi umiinom at nasa bahay lang lagi. Wife2: Parang santo pala siya! Wife1: Nope! Paralyzed ang tarantado!
2630. Nurse: Dok, bakit ayaw ng mga lalaki magcondom kapag nagsesex sila? Doktor: Tanungin kita, masarap bang mangulangot nang nakagwantes??
2631. What she says versus what she means... Says: Hindi ako galit. Means: Hayop ka! Says: Wait, 5 minutes na lang. Means: I'll be ready in 1 hour. Says: May suggestion ako. Means: Ito ang dapat! Says: Ang pangit ko ngayon no? Means: Sabihin mong maganda ako!
2632. What he says versus what he means... Says: Gusto mong kumain? Means: Gutom na ako. Says: Gusto mong panoorin talaga yan? Means: Ang corny. Says: What's wrong? Means: Nag-iinarte ka na naman dyan! Says: Ikaw ang pinakamagandang babae sa mundo. Means: Hay naku, eto na naman tayo.
2633. Alam mo bang tinext kita dahil gusto ko lang mangumusta? Yun lang, ayoko nang pahabain pa itong text ko sa iyo, kasi, ang pakay ko lang talaga ay kamustahin ka. Medyo tinatamad nga akong magtext lalo na kung mahaba, kaya ito, kakamustahin lang kita. Baka may ginagawa kang importante, sabihin mo pa nakakaabala pa ako sa iyo, kaya di na ako nagtext ng mahaba. Nakakahiya naman sa iyo. Basta alam mong naalala kita sa simpleng kamusta lang. Hindi na para tanungin ko pa ang ginagawa mo, o kung ok ka. Basta nagtext ako para mangamusta.
2634. Fall... Boron! Hahaha! I've been... Patrimonio! Wehehe. Anchor... Tis! Hahaha! Last na! Last na! Korny na... Sanchez! Wahahaha!
2635. Isang binatilyo ang pumasok sa gay bar. Nalaman ng nanay nya at nagalit. Nanay: Ano ang nakita mo doon na hindi mo dapat makita? Boy: Si tatay po! Tumitili pa!!
2636. Two men drinking: Man1: Pare, bakit hanggang ngayon, wala ka pa ring girlfriend? Tingnan mo ako, nakakailan na. Wala ka bang natitipuhan? Man2: (Blushed) Meron. Manhid ka lang kasi!
2637. Dapat talaga, lumabas na yang si Wendy sa bahay. Arte, arte nya no, tsaka walang breeding! - Tinkerbell.
2638. Movies that must not be translated into Filipino. Black Hawk Down - Ibong Maitim Sa Ibaba. Dead Man's Chest - Dodo ng Patay. I Know What You Did Last Summer - Uuyyy, Aminin! Love Actually - Sa Totoo Lang, Pag-Ibig. Million Dollar Baby - Milyun-milyong pisong sanggol (it depends on the exchange rate.) The Blair Witch Project - Ang Proyekto ng Bruhang Si Blair. Marry Poppins - Si Mariang May Putok. Snakes On A Plane - Nag-ahasan sa Ere.
2639. Movies that must not be translated into Filipino II. The Postman Always Rings Twice - Ang Kartero Kapag Dumutdot Laging Dalawang Beses. Sum Of All Fears - Takot Mo, Takot Ko, Takot Nating Lahat. Swordfish - Talakitok. Pretty Woman - Ganda ng Lola Mo. Robin Hood, Men In Tights - Si Robin Hood at ang mga Felix Bakat. Four Weddings and A Funeral - Kahit Apat Na Beses Ka Pang Magpakasal, Mamamatay Ka Rin! The Good, The Bad And The Ugly - Ako, Ikaw, Kayong Lahat!
2640. Movies that must not be translated into Filipino III. Harry Potter And The Sorcerer's Stone - Adik Si Harry, Nagbabato. Click - Isang Pindot Ka lang. Brokeback Mountain - May Nawasak Sa Likod ng Bundok Tralala. There's Something About Mary - May Kwan Sa Ano Ni Maria. Employee Of The Month - Ang Sipsip. Resident Evil - Ang Biyenan. Kill Bill - Kilitiin sa Bilbil. The Grudge - Lintik Lang Ang Walang Ganti. Never Been Kissed - Pangit Kasi. Gone In 60 Seconds - Isang Round, Tulog. The Fast and The Furious - Ang Bitin, Galit! Too Fast, Too Furious - Kapag Sobrang Bitin, Sobrang Galit. Dude, Where's My Car? - Dong, Anung Level Ulet Tayo Nagpark? Beauty And The Beast - Ang Asawa Ko At Ang Nanay Nya!
2601-2606, 2612-2614, 2617-2621, 2623-2632: Asha (+63917898***7)
2607-2609, 2615-2616, 2637-2640: Eroica
2610: Abet (+63917866***0)
2611: Joy (+63910727***1)
2622: Shawie (+63921406***9)