822. News Flash! Danielle Radcliffe better known as Harry Potter is gay! He admitted it in The Insider. =)
823. Life is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets, so love the people who treat you right, forget about the ones who don't, and believe that everything happens for a reason. Know a good thing when you see it, and don't let it slip away. If you get a chance, take it. If it changes your life, let it. Nobody said it would be easy, they just said it would be worth it.
824. Everything in life is temporary, because everything changes. That's why it takes great courage to love someone knowing it might end anytime.
825. One of the reasons why people hold on to memories so tight is because memories are the only things that don't change, when everything else does.
826. People have different outlooks in love. But whatever are those, there's a single truth behind everyone's heartache. "Love hurts when God knows we deserve someone else."
827. If you are trapped between your feelings and what other people think is right, always go for whatever makes you happy. Unless you want everybody to be happy for you except you being happy for yourself.
828. Be happy when God answers your prayer. But be more thankful when God makes you the answer to someone else's. "Ikaw yun for me!"
829. It's not one great deed that defines who you are. It's the little good things you do to others day by day that count. Carry on! People may not notice but God does. ;)
830. Never let go of a dream until you are ready to wake up and make it happen. Trials in life are not to make us fail but to see how far we can conquer.
831. Life is only travelled once. Today's moment becomes tomorrow's memory. Enjoy every moment, good or bad, because the gift of life is life itself. God bless.
832. Believe while others doubt. Work while others wish. Save while others waste. Persevere while others quit. Pray and stay while others stray! Dare to be different!
833. People change no matter how hard they try not to. As you grow older, you mature and with each new level of maturity comes different ideas, different needs and wants. The person who was perfect for you at 20 could be the person you hate when you are 35. Find someone who will grow with you, change with you, laugh with you and cry with you. A person who fills in where you lack, a person whom you can fill in when they are lacking. But what about the perfect person? He/She doesn't exist. There are no perfect people, only people who are perfect for each other.
834. It's not how well you jump over the obstacles nor how fast you get to the top but how often you stop to appreciate the simple things in life which makes life worthwhile. Good day!
835. All my life, I've been looking for something to satisfy and make me happy. You know it's right when they say that happiness can be found in the simplest things, and I found it in 7 letters. "FRIENDS"
836. God saw your parents hungry, He created pizzas. God saw they are thirsty, He created Pepsi. He saw them walking, He created car. He saw them without problems, He created you! =)
837. Ku ka ki ka ka ku kata ke ko ku kika ki kuka ko kika. Kuko kiku kuki ka. Congratulations! You have successfully learned the monkey language! Come and claim your banana!
838. Dying husband: I have something to tell you. Wife: Don't speak, just rest. Husband: No, I must confess, I had sex with your sister and your best friend. Wife: Sshhh. I know! That's why I poisoned you!
839. Ang love, parang sintas ng sapatos. Dalawang dulo ang kailangan para mapagbuhol, pero isang dulo lang ang kailangan para kumalas. - Mr. Quickie.
840. Why do others lie to their mate? Sabi, to avoid confrontations and pain daw. Eh mga engot pala sila eh, hindi ba nila alam na the truth hurts for a while but a lie hurts forever!
842. Pedro: Pare, pinapili ako ng misis ko, pag-ibig daw ba o kaibigan? Juan: So, kaya ka nandito ngayon dahil pinili mo ang kaibigan? Pedro: Pare, hindi eh. Pag-ibig ang pinili ko. I love you, pare!
843. Nainis din ako nung nabasa ko ito...
844. Bakit ang tao, minsan nalilito? Minsan naliligaw? Saan ba sya dapat pumunta? Sa taong mahal nya, o sa taong mahal sya? Ikaw? Saan ka pupunta? Ako, sa kwarto. Matutulog na. Good night!
845.Teacher: Kung meron akong limang anak na babae at pitong anak na lalake sa una kong mister at apat na anak sa pangalawa kong mister, samakatuwid... Student: Samakatuwid, ilusyunada at ambisyosa ka sir! Bakla ka sir! Bakla! Classmates, bakla si sir! Nyahahaha!
846. Lola: Sino yang kasama mo? Apo: Boyfriend ko po. Lola: Aba, bata ka pa, lumalandi ka na! Pasok sa loob! At ikaw lalaki... "Doncha wish your girlfriend was hot like me?" Apo: Lola, ang landi moh!
847. Ilusyunada! Kahit kailan, hindi yan mangyayari dahil pangit ka. Panget, panget, panget! Panget ka! - Vangie Labalan, Bakekang.
848. Judge: Isa ka palang pusher, kidnapper, gun for hire, gambling lord, swindler at bugaw! Wala ka bang matinong hanapbuhay? Accused: Aba'y meron po sir, pulis po ako!
849. Ang mga babae daw ay parang alak. Edad 17-18, lasang Shandy. 19-25, like Champagne. 26-35, Brandy. 36-45, Whisky. 46-50, Ginebra. 51-55, Rubbing Alcohol. 56 up, formalin.
850. Sabi nila, ang panget daw, itinadhana para sa maganda at gwapo. Napaupo ako sa isang tabi... Badtrip! Ibig sabihin, para sa pangit ako?!
851. Bakit may litrato ng boyfriend ang mga babae sa wallet? Kasi, para pag may problema, tititigan nya at sasabihin sa sarili, "Kung ito nga, nakayanan ko, ibang problema pa kaya!"
852. Sa buhay, lahat ng first ay masarap. First love, first kiss, first date, first... Hmmm, basta lahat ng first, kaya nga I want to be the first one to greet you. Merry Christmas! Hehehe.
853. Guro: Anong meron sa Pangasinan? Jinggoy: Hundred Islands! Guro: Sa Albay? Bong: Bulkang Mayon! Guro: Eh sa Banaue? Lito Lapid: Uhm, Kwan po ma'am, car accessories! =)
854. Man asks pet shop owner how much is parrot on the left. "$50,000 because he knows how to work Windows and Office." How much is parrot on the right? "$80,000 because he knows how to make and administer a website." How about the parrot on the middle? "$100,000, I don't know what he does but the other parrots call him boss."
855. Konserbatibong bagong kasal sa kanilang honeymoon. Lalaki: Darling, ok lang bang pasukin ko ang hindi pa napapasok ng iba? Babae: Darling, hindi kaya ako mabingi?
856. Marami ang nagtatanong sa akin kung bakit daw lagi akong masaya. Akala nila, wala akong problema. Ngumiti na lang ako at sinabi na, "Marami akong problema, maganda lang talaga ako kaya hindi halata."
857. Ako, bad, maingay, magulo, makulit, tigas ulo, at higit sa lahat, pasaway. Pero ito lang ang masasabi ko sa iyo... isa ka pa! Hehehe.
858. James Yap: Kris, panglima na ba ako na lalaki sa buhay mo? Kris Aquino: Hindi ha, sa totoo lang, thirty-something na! =)
859. What is shock? It is when a man is having sex with a pregnant woman and suddenly, a hand grabs his dick from the inside!
860. What do you call a naked, sexy, beautiful woman on the arm of an ugly poor man? Eh, di tatoo!
Contributors:
821-827, 839-847: Erica
828-833: Jamie
834-838, 848-852: Anonymous (+63920240***0)
853-860: Abet (+63917866***0)
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