Jan 6, 2010

text messages 4016 - 4040

It's always time to have some good laugh. If you feel sad, just relax and read some of this Funny Text Messages that would surely ease your sadness goodbye. Also I have included some Pinoy Text Jokes. Enjoy reading!!!


Funny Text Messages and Pinoy Text Jokes

4016. I want you to know that our friendship means a lot to me. You cry, I cry. You laugh, I laugh. You jump out of the window... I look down & then... I laugh again. Hahaha!!!

4017. Mirror… mirror on the wall who’s the fairest of them all? The mirror laughed and gave a howl, its not you, you ugly cow.

4018. This message was sent exclusively for the handsome and the beautiful. We have obviously sent it to the wrong number. We are truly sorry for the inconvenience.

4019. It is important to find a man who has money, a man who adores you, and a man who is great in the sack. It's also important that these 3 men should never meet!

4020. I love your smile, your face, and your eyes. Damn, I'm good at telling lies! Kind, intelligent, loving and hot…This describes everything you are not!

4021. A teacher asks "what part of the body goes to heaven first?" A child replies “feet- ‘coz every night I see my mom with her feet in the air screaming GOD I'M COMIN!” Hahaha!

4022. It is the sweetest thing to do. Do it in the bed, on a sofa, in the bathroom or anywhere! You must never stop doing it. It's called Prayer! God bless your naughty mind.

4023. Good news! There’s a new way to send Romantic kiss to your girlfriend. Just call me and order your kiss. I will personally go and deliver it.

4024. Rooster & cat going over a bridge, cat slips & falls in river. Rooster can’t stop laughing. What’s the moral of story? Wherever there’s a wet pussy there’s a happy cock.

4025. Dad: Son, what do you want for your birthday? Son: Not much dad, just a radio with a sports car around it.

4026. The rain makes all things beautiful. The grass & flowers too. If rain makes all things beautiful why doesn’t it rain on you?

4027. A Guy picks up a girl for a date. Why are you wearing your belt around your knee? Girl: I promised my mom that I wouldn't let you touch me below my belt.

4028. Son asks the difference between Confidence and Confidential. Dad says, you are my son, I am Confident. Your friend is also my son, that’s Confidential.

4029. I really want to give you a hug, but a hug leads to a kiss, a kiss to a lick, a lick to a suck, a suck to a f*ck... Do you still want to give me a hug?

4030. You = cute
          You = hot
          You = sweet
          You = intelligent
          You = amazing
          You = perfect
           Me = liar

4031. In a faraway place, there lived a lovely old maid named Aiz who was about to die but was extremely proud to die a virgin. So she asked the graveyard caretaker to make her a tombstone inscriptions which said, "Here she lies, the Virgin Aiz". When she was buried, the caretaker couldn't exactly remember what she said. Being an old man and having a bad memory himself, he thought long and hard on what to curve on the tombstone... then he chiseled out: "Here she lies, devirginized." Hahaha!!!

4032. Inside a hospital was a badly injured Taliban soldier...
Soldier: before I die, I want to kiss the afghan flag...
Nurse: I couldn't see any afghan flag around... but I have an afghan flag tattooed on my bum. Are you ok with that?
Soldier: fine wit...h me. (Then kissed it passionately)... can you turn around for me?
Nurse: huh? What for?
Soldier: I also want to kiss bin laden goodbye!

4033. Every time the couple made love, the hubby always insisted on turning off the light, after 20yrs, the wife suddenly turns the light on and found him holding a vibrator. "You impotent bastard, how could you have lied to me all this years??” The hubby looks her in the eye and calmly said: "I’ll explain the toy, you explain the KIDS!!!"

4034. Teacher: Juan, i-english mo eto…
Juan: What ma’am?
Teacher: Ang uwak ay hinang-hina na naglalakad lakad..
Juan: the wak wak weak weak Wok w0k..Hehe

4035. "Hindi lahat ng batang naka-bag, nag-aaral.. Iyong iba naglalakwatsa lang" -dora the explorer

4036. Sabi niya maganda siya... Napansin ko nga… Mula ulo…Mukhang paa. hahaha.

4037. Sabi ng puso ko, mahal ko siya. Sabi ng utak ko, ‘wag, hindi tama. Sabi ko naman… oh baka yung atay, bituka, kidney diyan gusto din magcomment? Go ahead! Hahaha!!

4038. TAONG GRASA: Palimos po?
STUDENT: Pang-inom o sigarilyo?
TAONG GRASA: Wala po akong bisyo.
STUDENT: Halika, sama ka sa bahay, para makita ng nanay ko ang nangyayari sa taong walang bisyo!

4039. AMO: Mula ngayon walang magsasalita ng ingles. Ang sinumang magpadugo ng ilong ko at sa mga anak ko, palalayasin sa pamamahay na to! Klaro ba?
INDAY: Ang mga namumutawi sa inyong mga labi ay mataman ko pong iiimbak sa sulok ng aking balintataw, sa kaibuturan ng aking puso, gugunam-gunamin, aariing salik ng aba at payak kong kabatiran. Tatalikdan ang matayog at palalong banyagang wika, manapay kakalingain, bibigkasin at sakdal timyas na sasambitin ng aking sangkalooban. Tagalog nosebleed naman!!! Hahaha!!

4040. Sa isang ospital nag-fill out si lola ng medical record.
LOLA: matanong na nga kita iha. Ano ba ang ilalagay dine sa status?
NURSE: Ahmm.. may asawa na po ba kayo lola?
LOLA: Meron.
NURSE: Married na lang po ang ilagay mo lola.
LOLA: Di naman kami kasal eh flirt flirt lang yun.
NURSE: Ahmm.... Sige lagay nyo na lang po sing...le.
LOLA: Pero nagsasama na kami't may mga anak.
NURSE: Sige po lagay nyo na lang it's complicated!
Hahahaha


Contributors:

4016- 4030; 4034-4039; Syvil Lingo – (0920725***0)
4031-4032; Ersire Remollo – Facebook
4033; Judon Tancontian - Facebook
4040; Jx - Facebook

1 comment:

Claudia Lawrence said...
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