502. You might be sending messages that I might erase. But the thought that you cared and spent your time for me is something that will last forever.
503. The more silently love is expressed, the more it is deeply bound to impress. No wonder God loves us in silence and gives us the miracles of having friends.
504. Love doesn't make the world go round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile.
505. Love is not a matter of finding the right person but creating the right relationship.
506. To be in love is to be living in a dream come true.
507. You eased the pain when I faked the wound. You calmed me down when I faked the mood. You are instantly there when I faked the call. But why didn't you catch me? I did not fake the fall!
508. They say nothing in the world is perfect. But I know one exception, the joining of our two hearts.
509. American guy named Paul challenged a Filipino: Use my name 4x in a sentence. Pedro: "Paul, be carePaul, you might Paul in the swimming Paul!" Galing ng Pinoy!
510. With my 1 heart, 2 eyes, 5 liters of blood, 206 bones, 1.2 million red blood cells, 60 trillion DNA, I want you to know that... Gusto ko lang magyabang about anatomy! Hahaha!
511. Once a book of friendship was opened, it should never be closed again. A living book meant to be read and enjoyed forever. I hope our book of friendship never be closed!
512. Kapag ako patay na, punta ka sa burol ko ha? Alam ko, lalapit ka sa kabaong ko para mang-asar at sabihing... "Walanghiya ka kukote! Minsan ka na lang magpainom, bakit kape pa?" Hehehe.
513. Life is like a road that we should pass thru till its very end. But if one day, you feel you're tired walking, I will comfort you in my arms sabay sabi, "May jeep naman kasi, bakit nilakad mo?"
514. Q: How will a gentleman say to his dinner date that he needs to go to the toilet? A: Excuse me, I have to shake hands with a friend of mine who hopes to meet you after dinner. =)
515. Translate in English: May baliw, gumahasa ng labandera at tumakas. NUT SCREWS WASHER and BOLTS.
516. Customer: Miss, pabili ng condom, yung medium. Tindera: Dito sir, isukat nyo sa fitting room. Customer: Maluwang! Tindera: Sige lang sir, yan ang uso ngayon. Hip hop!
517. Mother superior: Hala, layas dito sa kumbento! Madre: Bakit po? Dahil po ba sa paggamit ko ng vibrator? Mother superior: Hindi, ayoko lang may nakikiaalam sa gamit ko!
518. While I was walking alone, something special happened, I can't believe what I saw.. Gems!... Yap! Ang tangkad pala nya noh? Kasama pa nya si Kres!
519. Mrs1: O mare, bakit ka umiiyak? Mrs2: Nag-away kami ni pare, gusto nya, sex kami, style aso, tumanggi ako! Mrs1: Masarap naman yun! Mrs2: Masarap nga, kaso, gusto nya, sa kalsada! Ngek!
520. I miss the TIMES.. and also the PLUS, MINUS, pati na rin DIBAYDIBAY! Hehehe. Ikaw? Miss mo rin ba?
522. Minsan, sa buhay natin, hindi maiiwasang mabasa ng ulan, maranasan ang bagyo. Pero sa mga pagkakataong ito, tandaan mo kaibigan, payong ang dalhin mo, huwag kapote. Ano ka, Grade 1?
523. "Happy 40 thoughtful years, Goldilocks!" Send this to 40 people within 2 days or else, magiging cake ka! Totoo ito! Yung friend ko, naging cake na. Black forest na sya.. promise!
524. Lucio Tan said, if a man has only 1 wife, wife often fights man; if man has 2 wives, wives fight each other; but if man has 4 wives, the wives play mahjong.
525. Higa kita sa kama. Tapos, huhubaran kita. Hahalikan kahit saan. Hahaplusin ko buong katawan mo! Tapos, tatanggalin ko ang Diaper mo. Baby, don't cry ha!
526. Anak: Nay, ano ba yung sex? Ina: Yun ang ginagawa ng mag-asawa para ipadama ang pagmamahal nila sa isa't isa. Anak: Haba naman. Paano ko pagkakasyahin yun sa biodata? =)
527. IQ Test: A farmer has 12 cows and 5 pigs. One day, he went to the market with 2 cows and 3 pigs not knowing that 6 cows followed him on the way. The question is, will he... Revillame?
528. Sa panaginip ko, naglalaro tayo sa tabing dagat, bigla ka na lang tinangay ng malaking alon! Umiyak ako at sumigaw! "Loko kang alon ka ah! Ano bang akala mo sa kaibigan ko? Tae?!"
529. In a petshop, customer talking to a parrot, "Hoy! Can you speak ha? Can you speak? Bobo!" Parrot: "Yes, I can!! Ikaw? Can you fly, ha? Can you fly? Gago!"
530. Ito ang chain message na siguradong ipapasa mo: "Magkakaringworm sa pwet ang huling makakareceive nito." Sori na lang sa mga walang load!
531. Letter to OFW Dad: Love, thanks sa padala mo. Happy si Nene kasi yung toblerone, baon nya sa school. Yung Nike, suot na ni junior. Next time, huwag ka nang magpadala ng Nivea Milk. Hindi nila type, pait daw. Ako tuloy ang umubos.
532. Isang gabi, naglayas ako, naligaw sa mundo, nadapa, umiyak, naghabol, nasugatan, pero tumayo ulit. Galing noh? Isang gabi lang yun!
533. Girl: Maganda ba ako? Boy: Oo, kaya lang bumbayin ka. Girl: Hindi naman ako mukhang bumbay ah. Tisay yata to! Boy: Tanga! Bumbayin ang amoy mo! Para kang shawarma.
534. Nanay: Hala, sige, layas! Huwag ka nang bumalik dito sa bahay! Simula ngayon, huwag mo na akong tawaging nanay at hindi na rin kita tatawaging anak, naintindihan mo? Anak: Sige dude, alis na ako. =)
535. Fact 1: You cannot touch your lower lip with your tongue. Fact 2: After reading this, 99/100 idiots would try it. =)
536. Masakit isiping di mo man lang ako maalalang i-text. Kunsabagay ganyan ka naman eh, don't text back, wag ka ng magpaliwanag dahil damang dama ko wala kang LOAD.
537. Kapag kulang ka raw, kapag kulang ka raw, sa sex, sa sex, nadodoble daw, nadodoble daw, paningin paningin mo mo, tama ba? tama ba?
538. ABS-CBN Report: Ang paglindol, ulan at pagtaas ng tubig ay hudyat ng pagbabawas ng unggoy. Worried ako sa iyo! Text mo ako kung nandiyan ka pa, ok?
539. BOY: Sir alam mo, kapag lumaki na ang anak mo, magaling ding driver. Sir: Paano mo naman nasabi ‘yon? BOY: E, sir, kamukha ng driver n’yo ang anak mo.
540. Bakit exciting ang text? Kasi sa text, cute ang panget! Puwedeng single ang married! Bida ang mga sinungaling! At sa text, bistado ang walang load!
Contributors:
501: Deejayz
502-513: +63920240***0
514-520: Abet (+63917866***0)
521-522: Tekla
523-535: originally posted at kukote in a jar
536-537: Meyms
538-540: Jack
Technorati Tags:
text messages
funny text messages
inspirational text messages
1 comment:
funny un txt joke na nabanggit ang toblerone! invite ko po kayo lahat sa bagong website ng toblerone pilipinas: www.toblerone.com.ph help us spread the sweetness po!
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