2252. The Lord is still preparing the best gift for you. Someday in your life at the right time, at the right place, everything will be set accordingly. Just trust Him. He'll make it happen.
2253. Never regret a day in your life, good day gives you happiness, bad days teach you experience. Both are essential to life, all are God's blessings.
2254. Every sacrifice has a fruitful reward. Every failure has a second chance. We only have to be strong by God's grace to persevere the tests of life. Good evening!
2255. Let the love of God lighten your life, let His kindness mold you into His presence, let Him be your guide as you travel the road of life.
2256. God sometimes delays his help to test our faith and energize our prayers. Our boat may be tossed while he sleeps but he wakes up before it sinks. God is good.
2257. Never pray for an easier life, instead pray to be a stronger person. Never pray for tasks equal to your power but for power equal to conquer your tasks. Good evening!
2258. Happiness is a butterfly, which when pursued, is always just beyond your grasp, but which, if you sit down quietly, may alight upon you.
2259. There will always be dreams grander or humbler than your own, but there will never be a dream exactly like your own, for you are unique and more wondrous than you know. Good night!
2260. Life is a lot like baseball, when you're always given slow pitches to hit, you'd never feel the thrill. So, it is in life, problems come and go but it's the hard pitches that give meaning.
2261. SOmetimes, you need to experience everything so that you would learn. There's no easy way in living life, so live it as it is. Cry. Laugh. Be crazy. And don't miss the chances that life is giving you because the most important things are not things at all, most of the time, they are people making your life worth living.
2262. How to keep someone? Try to be perfect but don't be. Be considerate but don't tolerate. Be good but not too nice. Be consistent but not persistent. And best of all, just love, never ask.
2263. Nothing lasts forever. So live it up and drink it down. Laugh it off. Avoid all the drama. Take chances and never have regrets because for once, what you did was what you wanted. Good night!
2264. Life is a paradox. What you want, you don't get. What you get, you don't enjoy. What you enjoy is not permanent. What is permanent is boring. That's life, but they are meant to build the best in you. Good evening!
2265. Friendship isn't based on how many secrets you share, isn't how well you get along nor how much you like each other, isn't how people see you together. But it appreciates the differences, the gaps, the hindrances, the trials, and still, a friend looks at you, straight from the heart, without hatred, without judgement, without envy, without criticisms, only pure acceptance and respect.
2266. For all the things we've shared, the endless times we cared, for helping me thru good and bad times, for the jokes and laughter and funny lines, for being part of my life, i'm serious. Thank you!
2267. I may not always do or say the little things to let you know how much I appreciate you. But there's one thing I'm sure of: My world smiles more simply because you're in it. Good evening!
2268. Lady: So, you want to become my son-in-law? Boy: Not really, but I don't see any other way to marry your daughter. Hahaha!
2269. When I first saw your eyes, the shape of your lips, the way you smile, the color of your teeth and the figure of your body, I found out that a famous saying is really true! Nobody's perfect! Hehehe.
2270. Flattery is like chewing gum, enjoy it, but don't swallow it!
2271. Superman isn't brave. You can't be brave if you are indestructible. It's everyday people like me and you who are brave, knowing we can easily be defeated but still continuing forward. That's true bravery. - Batman (bitter?!)
2272. A dog has fallen deeply in love with a pig. One day, he took chances and bravely said, "Pig, I am so in love with you." The pig replied: Oink! :)
2273. Height of poverty: Wife stitching husband's condom. Height of innocence: A girl applying Clearasil to her nipples thinking they are pimples. Height of ambition: An ant climbing on the leg of an elephant with a motive of rape. Height of unemployment: A spider web found in a prostitute's pussy. Height of laziness: A naked man sleeping on top of a naked woman expecting an earthquake to do the rest.
2274. Kissing a lady's forehead is respect, lips is love, breast is loyalty, tummy is heroism, vagina is patriotism and kissing her asshole is the greatest act of bravery. :)
2275. Q. What is the best profession a person can have? And why? A. Ob-Gyne. Because where else can you tell a pretty woman to take off her clothes, touch her breast, insert your finger and let her husband to pay for what you did!
2277. Apatan sex - foursome. Tatluhan sex - threesome. Dalawahan sex - twosome. Eh kung isa lang? Eh di, "hand" some. Hehehe.
2278. Lolo: Pakiabot naman yang posporo. Lola: Andyan naman yung shellane eh! Lolo: So, ipanlilinis ko yung shellane sa tenga ko?
2279. Nun complains about male nudity in the apartment accross hers. Police: But sister, from here, you only see him from the waist up and that's not a problem. Nun: Hello! Halika, tumayo ka sa ibabaw ng mesa! Ayun noh, kitang kita ko noh!
2280. Babae: Walang hiya kang lalake ka! Ginabi ka na naman! Lasing ka pa! Ang kapal ng mukha mo! Hayop ka talaga! Lalaki: Tumahimik ka nga Inday! Katulong ka lang dito!
2281. Kapag bumalik sa iyo yung gago mong ex at sinabing "Mahal pa kita." Sampalin mo! Tapos, bigla mong yakapin at sabihin mo: "Gago ka talaga! Aalis-alis ka, babalik ka rin pala. Hubad na! Namiss kita!"
2282. BF: This is just a formality but I'd like to ask for your daughter's hand. GF's Dad: And where did you get the idea that this is just a formality? BF: From her Ob-Gyne!
2283. Nang pumatong ako, gumalaw sya, hanggang sabay na kami. Una, dahan-dahan hanggang pabilis nang pabilis. Shit! Ang sarap sarap. Ikaw, gusto mo rin bang sumakay sa duyan? Hehe.
2284. Minsan madaldal daw ako. Minsan seryoso, minsan sweet, minsan manhid, minsan KJ, minsan cool, pero kahit ganito ako, tandaan mo, nahawa lang ako sa iyo. Normal naman ako dati eh!
2285. Juan: Alam mo, kapag nakakakita ako ng mga bituin, naaalala ko ang mga pulitiko natin. Pablo: Eh bakit? Dahil sa bright sila? Juan: Hindi, dahil sa sila ay ku-corrupt-corrupt!
2286. Do you know why I love silence so much? Because when it's quiet, when I'm alone just like now, that's the moment I realize, mabait pala ako! Hindi lang halata. :)
2287. Recharge! Recharge! Recharge! Sus dong! Asan na ba si Rofa?! - Annabelle Rama
2288. Top 10 lies of girls: 10. I'm on my way! (Naliligo pa.) 9. Miss na kita. (Wala akong magawa.) 8. I don't smoke. (Kung ikaw ang kasama.) 7. I like you! (Kilig ka naman?!) 6. Sleep na ako. (Nakakapagod ka katext.) 5. Busy pa ako. (Boring ka.) 4. Lowbat na ako (May ibang katext.) 3. Wala akong signal (Maghintay ka nga!) 2. Wala akong load. (Nagsasayang lang ako ng load sa iyo.) 1. I love you. (Para tumahimik ka na.) Tsk, tsk, tsk. Tama ba?
2289. Kapag nakahanap ka ng new friend at iwan mo ako, ok lang kahit masakit, friend kita at dun ka masaya. Pero kapag nakita kitang umiiyak, I'll tap your shoulder while saying, Halika nga dito, babawiin na kita!
2290. Reaction ng mga texters kapag nawala ang cellphone nila. 1% of them: Shit! Mahal pa naman ang bili ko dun! 2%: Naman! Unlimited pa naman ako. 97% Gosh! Ang number ni "Kukote", andun! Cute pa naman yun. Hehehe.
2291. Hindi kita masisisi kung nakalimutan mo na ako, kasi, alam ko, hindi na ako mahalaga sa iyo. Nakakatawa no? Kasi hanggang ngayon, ito ako, umaasa na sana, mabawi kita dyan sa zoo, ikaw kasi eh, nangangagat ka. Huwag ganun!
2292. Guys, nagkaroon ako ng raket. Watch out for the latest commercial of Smart. Andun ako! Thanks. Isa ako sa 25 million subscribers, nasa bandang likod po!
2293. Minsan, maiisip mo, sabi ng ibang tao, "Jokes are half meant." Tapos, maiisip mo, if jokes are half meant, then, 2 jokes are one meant. Tapos, kapag 4 jokes na, magkakabubble gum ka na, kasi, double meant na, di ba?
2294. Silip lang kita kung cute ka pa. Hay! Salamat. Wala pa ring ipinagbago. Mas cute pa rin ako! O, huwag kang kokontra, piso ko to!
2295. Someone asked me, why do I smile everytime I see your name in my inbox? I just said, kasi, yun taong ito sa inbox ko ay isa sa mga dahilan kung bakit naka Smart ako!
2296. Pinasok ng isang killer ang kwarto ng mag-asawa. Killer: Inaalam ko muna ang pangalan ng biktima ko bago ko sila patayin. Ikaw, anong pangalan mo? Misis: Inday po. Killer: Inday din ang pangalan ng nanay ko. Sige, hindi na kita papatayin. Ikaw, ano ang pangalan mo? Mister: My name is Gary, but my friends call me Inday. =)
2297. Distance is never a reason to forget a friend. Do you know why? Kasi, distance is always equal to "velocity" x "time". Wala namang "forget" sa equation, di ba? =)
2298. I always believe in the magic of friendship. Hindi importante na magkasama, magkausap, o nagkikita lagi. What's important is alam nyong friendship never ends whatever happens!
2299. Ok lang lumubog ang lahat ng ship, wag na wag lang ang ating friendship! Hahaha! Matouch ka muna bago ka makornihan! Ok?! Good morning!
2300. Isang pinoy, nagpropose sa pinay na minamahal. Upang mapasagot ang babae, pinaghandaan ang sasabihin. Boy: Will you be my wedding? Girl: Hahaha! Boy: What's laughing? Girl: Wrong gramming! =)
2251-2252, 2294: Joan
2253-2262, 2274-2285: Asha (+63917898***7)
2263: Joy (+63910727***1)
2264-2266, 2297-2300: Shawie (+63921406***9)
2267, 2289-2292: Irish
2268: Ariel (277001010***2)
2271-2272, 2286-2288: Eroica
2273: Anonymous (+63920240***0)
2295: Anonymous: (+63918270***6)
2296: Anonymous: (+63921406***4)