text messages 2801 - 2850

2801. You are part of a puzzle of someone else's life. You may never know where you fit but remember that someone else's life may never be complete without you in it. Have a blessed day!

2802. Whatever gives you laughter, do it more often because it will bring lightness to your heart, energy for your body and wonders for your soul. :)

2803. Glory isn't how high you jump over others nor how fast you run to the finish line but it is how often you stop to help people you meet the way along in life. Good night!

2804. Clever is when you believe only half of what you hear. Brilliant is when you know which half to believe.

2805. GOd understands we are not strong all the time. He knows that sometimes, all we can do is rest in His arms as He can take us through the journey of this life. Good morning!

2806. The heart remembers all special moments when goodness made a difference. May the love you shared with others return to you in countless ways. Take care!

2807. God always repays caring acts. It may not be with money or goods, more often He repays with happiness, health, friendship and love. Happy weekend!

2808. Don't simply thank God for the many blessings you have received. Also thank Him for He has chosen you to be a special blessing to others. Good night!

2809. Never be afraid of giving your best; in work, in life and in love. For it always be the ultimate gauge of satisfaction even if you fail.

2810. One cannot question the existence of feelings. They are there, raw and undeniable, but one can choose not to nurture what is felt, yet no matter what they say, what has been felt will always be more honest than what was chosen. Hence, true realities are not built by the mind but by the heart.

2811. Life becomes wonderful even if there are struggles and difficulties because we have a God so loving and inspiring who heals the pain and keep us going strong. Good morning!

2812. I've never been brave in cupid's eyes. I tend to hide what I really feel, pretend to be fine despite the pain deep within. Now, I've realized, nobody has the right to hurt me unless I let them take away my happiness.

2813. Blessings are not something we have to ask for. They are already there, all we have to do is count them and thank the giver everyday. Have a blessed Sunday!

2814. Blessings often sneak through a door you didn't know was left open. Every exit is an entrance to another phase of life. Wish you more doors for a blessed life. Good evening!

2815. In life, you may feel tired of fighting for the same reason everyday. You may feel that everyone is moving so fast leaving you far behind and you may feel that there is no point of moving on. There's no certainty in life. It's not how fast you get there. It's on how you played the game. Put in mind that at times it is better to be like a turtle who patiently moves and enjoys every step of the way rather than a rabbit who runs so fast and missing every simple single detail in life. Good morning!

2816. Don't say you love someone unless you mean it. Because they might do something crazy like believing it.

2817. Life's little instructions: 1. Never tell a person who's experiencing deep sorrow, "I know how you feel." You don't. 2. Never risk what you can't afford to lose. 3. Once a year, go somewhere you've never been before. 4. Remember that the formula for great love is communication plus respect. 5. When declaring your rights, don't forget your responsibilities. 6. Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a stroke of good luck.

2818. Who's talking? During courtship, man talks, woman listens. Once married, wife talks, husband listens. After some years, both husband and wife talk, neighbors listen.

2819. Three contractors were asked to quote for repair of the Whitehouse gate: American contractor: I'll charge $900, $500 for labor, $300 for materials and $100 for me. Mexican: I'll charge $700, $400 for labor, $200 for materials and $100 for me. Filipino: I'll charge $2700. Whitehouse employee: Why so expensive? Filipino: $1000 for me, $1000 for you and $700 for the Mexican to do the job. Whitehouse employee: Hired! When can you start?

2820. Before computers, memory was something you lost with age; an application was for a job; a program was a tv show; a cursor used profanities; a keyboard was a piano; a web was a spider's home; a virus was the flu; a hard drive was a long trip on the road; a mouse pad was where a mouse live and a 3-inch floppy is something a man just hope nobody ever found out.

2821. Seven men where standing naked in a row with erected penises. A passserby saw them and asked, "Are you advertising for condom?" They said, "No, we are posing for 7-Up!"

2822. Husband to hotel manager. Come, hurry, my wife wants to jump out of the window. Manager: What can I do about that, sir? Husband: Idiot! The window won't open!

2823. You know you're getting old if you have become a multi-tasker. You can laugh, cough, fart, and pee all at the same time.

2824. Question. Why are hurricanes normally named after women? Answer: Because when they come, they are wild and wet but when they go, they take your house and car with them.

2825. A rookie pilot was about to land his plane. To ease his tension, he joked the tower controller, "Guess who?" Controller turned off the runway lights and said, "Guess where?"

2826. Why in couple photos men are on left side and women on the right? Because in life's balance sheet, assets are on right side and liabilities are on left.

2827. Life is too short to make it dull and boring. So strive for the best to make it worth living. Dahil makulay ang buhay sa sinabawang gulay! Have a makulay week!

2828. Make cool lie. Make cool lie ang buhay. Make cool lie ang buhay sa sinabawang gulay!

2829. Ang taong bolero, masarap ka text. Ang taong tahimik, makulit sa text. Ang taong two timer, sweet sa text. Ang taong stick to one, matipid sa text. Ang taong pretty, eto, patext-text!

2830. Question. Ano ang pinakamasakit na maramdaman kung matanda na tayo? Sagot: Yung paggising mo, tapos pagtingin mo sa tagiliran mo, matanda din ang iyong katabi! Hahaha!

2831. Husband: Darling, nakakahalata ako na puro made in China ang ipinapakain mo sa akin. Wife: Iniisip ko kasi na kapag namatay ka, hindi na kita ipaeembalsamo!

2832. Class: Ma'am, ang baho po dito, may umutot! Ma'am: Ok, class. Sino man ang umutot, bibigyan ko ng 95 na grade. Pedro: Ma'am ako po. 100 nyo na Ma'am! Natae din kasi ako!

2833. Noon. Anak: Gusto ko na pong magbuntis. Nanay: Hindi pwede anak, kailangang mag-asawa ka muna bago ka magbuntis. Ngayon: Anak: Gusto ko na pong mag-asawa. Nanay: Bakit, buntis ka na ba?

2834. Elementary life: Todo aral, no syota, puro laro. High School life: Konting aral, patagong syota, bawas laro. College life: Walang aral, sabay-sabay syota, iba na ang laro.

2835. Titser: Bakit ka nalate? Bugoy: Nawalan ho kasi ng 500 yung lalaki. Titser: Tinulungan mo sya na hanapin ito? Bugoy: Hindi po. Tinapakan ko hanggang umalis sya.

2836. Question. Bakit masasabing pinakaswerte si Adan sa lahat ng lalake? Answer: Bukod sa nasa paraiso na sya, may asawa pa sya at walang byenan!

2837. Musta ka na po? Miss na po talaga kita. Hope everything is ok. Kapag medyo maluwag ako, bibisita ako dyan ha? Ok lang ba sa iyo? Dyan ka pa rin ba sa mental? Ano nga ba room number mo? Hehehe.

2838. "Sa iyo lang umiikot ang mundo ko." May tao na bang nakapagsabi sa iyo nyan? Puwes, niloloko ka nya! Ano ka? Solar system?

2839. Alam mo, naikwento kita sa puntod ni lola. Sabi ko, ikaw yung pinakamabait kong katext. Aba, akalain mo, sumagot. Hayaan mo apo, dadalawin ko sya ngayong gabi!

2840. Hindi kaya nainsulto si Pacquiao doon sa commercial ng San Miguel? Kasi, di ba, sabi sa kanya ni Morales, "Palakang katulad mo, Manny!"

2841. Jinggoy: Sayang ako na sana ang chairman ng Blue Ribbon committee. Ibinigay pa kay Cayetano. Erap: Hingin mo na lang ang Red Ribbon committee, masarap, laging busog ka pa.

2842. 3:00AM. Lasing kumakatok: Pare, tulong, patulak naman. Pare, naawa: Sige, sandali lang. Nagbihis si pare at lumabas. Saan ka? Lasing: Dito sa swing, patulak naman.

2843. Nagluluto ang mag-ama ng tanghalian. Ama: Ilang sili ang inilagay mo sa karne, anak. Anak: Labing lima, tay. Ama: O sige, gawin mo nang beinte, tapos kainin mo mag-isa, hayop ka!

2844. It hurts so much to be rejected by someone you really love but believe me, it hurts 10x more kung nakahugas ka na nang kamay, tapos, hindi ka pala kasali sa kainan.

2845. Anak: Ma, si kuya, nagbigti po sa banyo! Mama: Ha? Tumakbo patungong CR. Mama: Punyeta ka, huwag kang magbibiro ng ganyan! Anak: Hehehehe. Joke! Sa kwarto po sya nagbigti!

2846. May 7 frogs sa 1 box. Sa box, may 23 pairs na pato and 1 pusa. Ang isang pato ay nakakain ng 56 na suso. Tapos, may 5 langgam. Relax, don't worry. Walang tanong, hi lang!

2847. May isang bata na nagtanong sa tatay nya. Bata: Sino pong mas masarap, si nanay o si Inday? Tatay: Syempre, si Inday. Bata: Hindi naman eh, sabi nung driver natin, si nanay daw eh!

2848. Nangumpisal si Kulas sa mga kasalanang nagawa nya. Pari: Anak, hindi ka patatawarin. Kulas: Ha? Bakit father? Pari: Kasi, may kasalanan ka pa na hindi mo pa binabanggit. Kulas: Ano po yun father? Pari: Ikaw ba ang kumuha ng perang donasyon sa altar? Kulas: Ano po father? Pari: Ikaw ba ang kumuha ng donasyon sa may altar? Kulas: Hindi ko talaga marinig, father. Gusto mo, palit tayo ng pwesto? Nagpalit sila ng pwesto. Pari: Sige, magtanong ka. Kulas: Ikaw ba ang nakabuntis kay Ana na labandera? Pari: Ay, totoo nga, hindi ko nga marinig dito!

2849. Bobokesh ang floweret, jojosok ang reynabels. Chochorva ng chacha, chenes eklavush. - Mga batang bading na naglalaro ng bubuka ang bulaklak.

2850. Man1: Away kami ni misis. Naghistorical sya. Man2: Pare, baka ang ibig mong sabihin ay naghysterical. Man1: Hindi, historical, kasi inungkat lahat ng kasalanan ko.

Contributors:
2801-2815, 2818-2819, 2821-2826, 2830-2845, 2847-2850: Asha (+63917898***7)
2816-2817, 2820, 2829: Eroica
2827, 2846: Anonymous (+63920801***3)
2828: Tekla

text messages 2751 - 2800

2751. Life's a little ironic. We all want things to change, but once they do, we wonder why things can't go back to the way they were.

2752. Something more to think about: If price and worth have basically the same meaning, then why are priceless and worthless totally opposite?

2753. Sometimes, you just have to try not to care no matter how much you do because sometimes you can mean nothing to someone who means everything to you. It's not pride. It's called self-respect.

2754. Sadness is self-inflicted. You need not bother too much about every crappy, shitty occurrences around you. But then again, you tend to get yourself involved. Happiness is self-induced just the same. As they say, it's just a matter of perspective. So, while you still have the chance to shape your day's mood, choose: would you rather be sad or happy? Life is good. Life is bad. You decide.

2755. You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, some time in your life. - Winston Churchill.

2756. Bread cast on water comes back to you. The good deed you do today may benefit you or your loved ones at the least expected time. If you never see the deed again, at least, you have made the world a better place. Isn't that what's life is all about?

2757. It can be cute when people who have a lot in common date each other. But isn't it more fun to date someone you can argue with? And then, in the end, agree to disagree then hold each other tight? I mean, really, why would you want to date yourself?

2758. The leaves of trees just keep falling. Lesson? You can't always keep someone to yourself forever. Sometimes, you have to let go. Yet, you have to remain standing like trees do.

2759. It's hard to assume your position on somebody's life. You might be expecting too much. Something far from reality. So learn to weigh the situation, know your stand and keep things in balance. Because the hardest to deal with is failure, and the hardest to endure is pain.

2760. As they say in Tibet: "If a problem can be solved, then there's no need to worry. If a problem can't be solved, then, what's the use of worrying?"

2761. Stupidity: Giving up a fight knowing you had a chance to win. Love: Fighting though you knew from the very start that you'll never win. Or is it the other way around??

2762. When things seem too good to be true, it's because of one thing; it's about to break your heart.

2763. It's so stupid to think about him almost every minute of everyday when in fact he never thought of me because he's busy with his own life. Swak! Tagos! Aray! Ouch ba?

2764. Sometimes, we get too possesive with something or someone we don't even own. It's a side effect of loving too much and receiving too little. Sad but true, huh?!

2765. Sometimes, you have to run away, not just to create distance, but to see who cares enough to run behind and pull you back.

2766. It's really hard when you know inside your heart that you love the person but you run out of reasons to fight for what you feel and believe in.

2767. The hardest part in walking away from the one you love is the part that you realize that they will never ever run after you.

2768. Ironic truth: The one who is good in taking care of other people is the same person who needs someone to take care of them.

2769. If you didn't do anything wrong, you wouldn't mind telling the truth! - Bon Apres Midi!

2770. The greatest revenge to a girl who steals your man is to let her have him, because a truly good man can never be stolen, right?

2771. God's guidance is like a flashlight in a dungeon. It doesn't shine on all corners at once, but gives out just enough light for the next step. Good morning!

2772. Life may not be what you planned. Frustrations are hard to understand but God reigns up above in control of everything. Good night!

2773. Live life one day at a time, share it with people who matter most to you. For life is a little jar of memories and experiences so fill it with love and happiness.

2774. Did you know that the darkest time of the day is the minute before sunrise? So when you feel that you're at the darkest moment in your life, remember that sunrise is just a minute away. God bless.

2775. When you find love, treasure it, take care of it. Be true to it. Make good use of it. Because love comes unseen. You can only see it when it's gone.

2776. Prayer is a perfume to our soul and a fragrance that pleases God. Wear your prayer everyday and let it freshen you, anytime, anywhere you go. Good night!

2777. A good person is never alone. One who sows thoughtfulness reaps friendship. One who plants kindness reaps love. Enjoy the fruits you've sown well. Good morning!

2778. For the ladies: You have to be very fond of men. Very, very fond. You have to be very fond of them to love them. Otherwise, they are simply unbearable. Hahaha!

2779. Don't pray to be sheltered from problems. But pray to be fearless in facing them. Don't be afraid of pain. But ask for a heart that conquers it!

2780. You never truly love a person unless the mere thought of you hurting your loved one is enough to break you own heart.

2781. When you love, it's not for you to be understood but for you to understand. Not for you to take but for you to be taken. To listen, not to dictate. To sacrifice and not to demand. Not to count or measure but to love.

2782. Life is a song we play each day. Every mistake we make in life puts the song out of tune, but keep on trying. One day, every melody will come to its tune. Good evening!

2783. May the Lord give you a heart free from sadness, a mind free from worries, a life free from hatred and a body free from illness. Happy weekend!

2784. Christ is a good bowler. If he doesn't strike you, he will surely spare you. He's always ready to give you a break. But never will he ever roll you over to the canal. Good night!

2785. Mornings are wonderful blessings. Either stormy or shiny, they stand for hope and give us another start of what we call 'life'. Enjoy your day!

2786. Our eyes are placed in front because it's more important to look ahead than to look back. Don't dwell on things past, learn from them and keep moving forward.

2787. It hurts to know that we've fallen for someone who would just leave us hanging. Why? Because we sometimes close our eyes from the reality that they never really loved us, they just cared.

2788. Let us cherish the moment when we are empty but happy, tired but inspired, down but smiling, and feeling lost but living for a cause. Life is a gift! Good day!

2789. Why was white chocolate invented? So little black kids could have dirty faces too.

2790. You are aging when the candles on your birthday cake are enough to burn down your house, when your joints are as creaky as a rundown door, when your hairline starts to recede and your waistline starts to expand, when you can live without sex but not without your eyeglasses, when your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.

2791. A change in the weather patterns might have occured causing havoc to affected surroundings, the way debris are scattered indicated that the gust of wind is going northeast, causing damage to the path it is going. - Sagot ni Inday sa amo nung tinanong kung bakit nagkalat ang basura sa likod ng bahay.

2792. You can be a doctor and save lives, a lawyer and defend lives, a soldier and protect lives or simply be yourself, horny and create lives. Hahaha!

2793. GF: Baby, spell mo nga yung empty. Bobong BF: Uhmm, hindi ko alam eh. Try ko. Dobol u, ay, ti, eych, ow, yu, ti, way, ow, yu? GF: How sweet!! Getz mo??

2794. Some people say they can't live without love. Well, oxygen's more important. - Dr Gregory House. So, kung wala kang lovelife, inhale-exhale ka na lang!

2795. Amo: Inday, kunin mo nga yung Vogue magazine. Inday: Ma'am, Vogyu, hindi Vog. Amo: Inday, Vog ang tamang pagbigkas. Inday: O sige na nga Ma'am, Vog na, there's no need to arg!

2796. Hi! Sorry to disturb you. Tulog ka na ba? Sorry kung nagising kita. Sige, matulog ka na ulit. Pero kung gising ka pa, may tanong lang ako. Bakit hindi ka pa tulog? Siguro, gising ka pa. Tulog na!

2797. Try mo ito! 1. Punta ka sa reply. 2. Type your name tapos space. 3. I-dictionary ON mo. 4. Then press 22667625. Ayos ito! You'll be touched. Send this to your close friends! Gandang tanghale!

2798. Positive thinking Pinoy: Pare1: Pre, pautang muna ng 5 kg bigas at 3 sardinas. Bayaran ko kaagad pagdating ni misis galing US. Pare2: Sige, ito. Kelan ba ang uwi ni mare? Pare1: Nag-aapply pa lang. Pero malaki daw ang pag-asa. Yan ang Pinoy!

2799. Tatlong uri ng boobs. Age 18-29. Tila Poncan, bilog at mabango. Age 30-44, like mangoes, nakabitin ng konti at makatas. Age 50 and up. Tila sibuyas! Bakit? Nakakaiyak tingnan!

2800. May batang lumapit sa akin. Sabi nya: Gusto mo ng balde? Nagtaka naman ako dahil hindi naman ako nag-iigib ng tubig at kanyang winika: Umaapaw kasi ang kadyosahan mo eh!

Contributors:
2751-2770, 2792: Eroica
2771-2791, 2799-2800: Asha (+63917898***7)
2793: Jamie
2794-2795: Anonymous (+63920240***0)
2796-2797: Anonymous (+63919615***4)
2798: Anonymous (+63920801***3)

text messages 2701 - 2750

2701. A blessed life is not being famous or wealthy; but one that faces trials and troubles but never loses sight of God's loving presence! Have a nice day!

2702. We wake up each morning feeling happy, healthy and at peace, knowing that these are blessings more precious than wealth. May God's abundant blessings be to you today!

2703. Jesus is like a software. He 'enters' your life, 'scans' your problems, 'edits' your tension, 'downloads' solutions, 'deletes' your worries and 'saves' you. God bless.

2704. Mornings are beautiful signs of hope. It was created by God to let us know that life doesn't end after the sunset. Every dawn is a new life! Have a wonderful day!

2705. May the Lord give you a fresh supply of strength to do your tasks, anoint your works, bless your plans so that even your smallest accomplishments will glorify God. Good morning!

2706. Through the cracks of brokenness in our lives, God allows us to see that only with Him and in Him is our real security and abiding strength! God bless!

2707. God often strips us of everything, so that when we have nothing, we have Him, and when we have Him, we have everything! God bless!

2708. In life, there are four things you can't get back. The stone, after the throw. The word, after it is said. The action, after it is done, and the time, after it has passed. So be careful of what you throw, of what you speak, of what you do and of what you let pass by. Take care!

2709. Every sunset gives us one day less to live, but every sunrise gives us one day more to hope. Let us hope for the best today and always. Have a blessed day!

2710. A big jar of water gets emptied by just a small hole. Even a little anger and pride will drain all the nobility of a good heart. May God's love inspire us!

2711. Look at babies sleeping - it makes you realize how fragile life is. Look at a shooting star blazing - it makes you realize how temporary life is. Look at the sun rising - it makes you realize how beautiful life is. Look at a person dying - it makes you realize how important life is. Life is beautiful in its fragility, transcience and importance. So, let's live life to the fullest. Laugh, love and be grateful! Life's wonderful. Let's enjoy its wonders!

2712. We can never be happy with something that was wrong. But if somewhere along the way, what was wrong made us happy, then it must have been right all along!

2713. Still bothered by what happened yesterday? Sit down and relax. Gather yourself. No matter how bad yesterday was, it now belongs to the past. Don't let it worry you or stop you from pursuing many possibilities of today. Today is a gift you can unwrap and share with all that's why it is called present. Keep going!

2714. If you think the world is against you, blaming other people doesn't work. When you fight life, life always wins. Have a happy day!

2715. Happiness adds and multiplies as we divide it with others. May your happiness overflow so that it will touch the lives of many people. May God bless you always.

2716. Our lives are books and each day is a page. We cannot erase what has already been written but we can always try to write a better ending. God bless!

2717. Be grateful for the journey of life, with all its twists and turns, detours and diversions. We often learn much from the rocky road than from the smooth path. Good morning!

2718. Dear God, you've given me valuable hours each day. May I use a few seconds to say thank you for giving me the gift of knowing someone as nice as the one reading this. Good morning!

2719. Sometimes, you have to make a big mistake to figure out how to make things right. Mistakes are painful. But they are the only way to find out who you really are.

2720. If it's taking all your strength, if it's killing your heart, if it's making you bear too much pain and it's making you ignore everything else, make sure it's worth it, otherwise, let it go!

2721. Once I loved, I believed, I trusted. I failed, I cried, I moved on. Then I loved again. I invested, I exerted, I hoped, I fought. But eventually, I became weak, I got tired, I let go. Love doesn't always succeed. But it always teaches us to let go if we can no longer hold on.

2722. I guess that love does fade. That sometimes, the heart does get tired of longing, of hoping. That sometimes, you just have to accept the fact that some things can never be and that you should be contented with things as they are. Leaving is a choice. Staying is a choice. But you can never really asks someone to stay or to leave. It's a choice they have to make for themselves and sometimes, no matter how much you beg someone to stay or how hard you try to make someone leave, you really have no control over what they will choose.

2723. If you're not sure where you stand in someone's life, it's best to leave things behind so that if they drop you off, it will be easier to forget them. Don't waste time waiting for nothing when efforts are not recognized. It's best to just give things up. You've done your part, let them do theirs.

2724. The best part of being in love is when you just love a person and be happy about it. Even if that person can never be yours, even if you know that it can't last forever.That's the true essence of love. It's not about winning someone, it's not about owning a relationship, it's just about being happy because you know you've loved someone. It's about being guiltless because you know you didn't take away someone from anybody, you just love and love unselfishly.

2725. Take time to listen to your heart. Sometimes, you need not ask yourself who you really love most, but ask who really makes you happy and who makes you feel loved.

2726. Go for the person who makes you smile will all your heart and soul. The person whom you can't wait to see or talk to. This is the person whom you're meant to be with. Maybe not forever, but for now, they're right for you.

2727. Being a surgeon is easy. Just remember to cut, close and suture. But sometimes, you'll encounter a cut that is difficult to heal. Just like love. You can always cut but closure and suturing don't always follow. Thus, causing continuous bleeding. - Dr. Derek Sheperd (Grey's Anatomy)

2728. Girl and boy with their friends in school canteen. Boy: Mauna na ako. (Grabs the hands of the girl, patayo din.) Girl: Bakit? Boy: Points on a sign that says, "Do not leave your valuables unattended."

2729. Don't eat me! I have a wife and kids... Eat them!!! - Homer Simpson

2730. Si Optimus Prime ay isang magiting na mandirigma. Pass this to 10 friends at magiging Autobot ka sa loob ng dalawang araw. Totoo ito! Yung pinsan ko, nagtransform na, naging tricycle! Nyahaha!

2731. Naranasan mo na ba yung feeling ng hintay ka nang hintay sa text ng taong mahal mo? Hirap, di ba? Masakit, lalo na kung biglang nagbeep yung phone mo, excited mong binuksan, yun pala, 11000 na ang nanalo ng Free McDo. Taeng AutoLoad Max yan!

2732. Panty contest: How many panties do you have? Filipina: 3, for morning, afternoon and night. French: 7, for Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday! Bumbay: 12! (Wow!) For January, February, March, April, May, June, July, August, September, October, November and December!

2733. Ako? Kilalang crush ng school. Sikat sa room. Asset ng barkada. Palaban sa kalokohan at gabagyo ang lakas ng appeal! Pero, joke lang yun, ito naman, nagrereact agad. Hehehe.

2734. Kapag nagmahal ka, dapat, ipaalam mo! Eh, ano kung hindi nya tanggapin. At least, nasabi mo. Mabigo ka man, andito lang ako. Mang-aasar sa iyo! Ikaw kasi, bakit mo kasi sinabi?! :)

2735. Text ni yaya sa amo nya: "Ate, may importante pong bagay na nakalimotan nyu dito sa bahay, buti at naisepan kong itext kayo. Naiwan pu nyo ang cellphone nyo. Please text back!"

2736. Ano daw ang bagong sinasakyan ni Gretchen? Ano daw? Eh, di, Strada!!

2737. Dati, ang gamot sa sakit ng ulo ay kispirin at yakapsul, ngayon, hindi na raw uso yun! Ano na uso? Biogesex! Kahit walang laman ang tyan, safe!

2738. Girl: Itay, nagbold po ako sa magasin. Tingnan nyo po ang picture ko sa page 10. Itay: Anak! Sa palagay mo ba, may mas nakakahiya pa dito?! Girl: Meron pa po itay! Tingnan nyo sa page 16, si inay!

2739. Minsan, kailangan mong magparamdam sa mahal mo, sa kaibigan mo, sa tropa, sa kaberks, sa katext. Kasi, kung hindi, magugulat ka na lang isang araw, reply nila sa iyo, "Hu U?"

2740. Malungkot ka ba? Naiiyak? Natutulala? Ganyan talaga kapag matigas ang tae mo! Konting tiis lang, mapuputol din yan!

2741. Wife: Mabuti pa ang ulo mo, matigas, eh ang bird mo, ang lambot! Tumayo ang mister at pumasok sa banyo. Naslide sabay sigaw, "Mabuti pa ang banyo, madulas!"

2742. Isang mabangis na pambanat! Guy: Miss, freezer ka ba? Girl: Bakit mo naman nasabi? Guy: Tinitigasan kasi ako sa iyo eh! Hehehe.

2743. Sabi nung friend ko, nakakalaki daw ng tiyan ang beer. Kasi, minsan, nalasing sya. Ayun, nabuntis ang gaga. Hehehe!

2744. Igorot1: Mag-iingat ka sa iyong babaybayin na daan dahil ito'y mapanganib. Kunin mo itong gamot sa kagat ng ahas, baka sakaling ikaw ay makagat. Kunin mo itong isang bote ng hamog dahil ito'y nakakatanggal ng uhaw at gutom. Dalhin mo ang balaraw na ito ng ating mga ninuno upang maprotektahan ka sa mababangis na hayop. Natatandaan mo pa ba ang daan anak ko? Igorot2: Sige, sige, basta itext mo ako. Igorot1: Ok, basta imiscall mo muna ako! Ingats!

2745. Alangan namang ako ang umiwas sa iyo para hindi ka mahulog sa akin? Hindi ko naman ginusto dahil mapapahiya ka lang. Don't worry, hindi ko ipagsasabi na nahulog ka sa akin. - Kanal.

2746. Nagbubungkal ng lupa si Juan para magtanim. Akala ni Pedro, niloloko sya dahil wala namang itinatanim. Pedro: Juan, tanga ka! Wala ka namang itinatanim ah! Juan: Mas tanga ka! Seedless ito!

2747. Jinggoy: Bakit ba maalat at may asin ang dagat? Pacquiao: Sinadya yan ni Lord para sa ganun, hindi mapanis ang mga isda!

2748. I tried my best to make it up to you, but you didn't care. Now that I'm gone, you want me to come back for you? You should have woke up earlier to see me! - Magtataho, sosyal!

2749. One day, a guy said this to a girl. Pwede bang tabi tayo kapag exam? She asks him why? Kopya ka? He said, Kasi, I feel perfect when I'm beside you. Hehehe. Talaga lang ha?!

2750. Umiiyak ang isang zoo worker, itinanong ko kung bakit. Sagot nya, "Namatay kasi ang elepante." "Mahal na mahal mo yung elepante?""Hindi naman po, ako lang ang nautusang maghukay ng libingan nya!"

Contributors:
2701-2704, 2714-2718: Anonymous (+63920801***3)
2705-2712, 2725-2727, 2732-2750: Asha (+63917898***7)
2713, 2720-2722, 2729-2731: Eroica
2719: Starfish
2723: Anonymous (+63920240***0)
2724, 2728: Vahnrey