text messages 4016 - 4040

It's always time to have some good laugh. If you feel sad, just relax and read some of this Funny Text Messages that would surely ease your sadness goodbye. Also I have included some Pinoy Text Jokes. Enjoy reading!!!

Funny Text Messages and Pinoy Text Jokes

4016. I want you to know that our friendship means a lot to me. You cry, I cry. You laugh, I laugh. You jump out of the window... I look down & then... I laugh again. Hahaha!!!

4017. Mirror… mirror on the wall who’s the fairest of them all? The mirror laughed and gave a howl, its not you, you ugly cow.

4018. This message was sent exclusively for the handsome and the beautiful. We have obviously sent it to the wrong number. We are truly sorry for the inconvenience.

4019. It is important to find a man who has money, a man who adores you, and a man who is great in the sack. It's also important that these 3 men should never meet!

4020. I love your smile, your face, and your eyes. Damn, I'm good at telling lies! Kind, intelligent, loving and hot…This describes everything you are not!

text messages 3936-3960

It's October! What's Up? It's Halloween time again!!! Here's a new lists of text messages that you can share with your family and friends. New updates from Inspirational Text Messages, this is the right time to inspire people not to lose hope. Let us share some laughter's with our friends with those Funny Text Messages and Pinoy Text Jokes and also... we have some Halloween Text Messages to scare our enemies!!! hehehe

Inspirational Text Messages

3936. Life is an undying cycle. It is a battle of survival. If you quit, then you're a loser. If you fall, you stand up! If you keep on complaining about the miseries of your life, nothing will happen. GOD doesn't throw stones that we cannot catch. Live with HIM and everything will turn out good. Have a blessed Sunday.

3937. Whoever overlooks wrongs, all his sins are overlooked... whoever is merciful to others, heaven is merciful to him...good evening to all :)

3938. GOD has reason for allowing things to happen… Those who thank GOD even in trials turn burden into blessings… so keep your faith close to your heart and GOD shall provide the comfort u need… GOOD MORNING

3939. Life moves forward not backwards. It cannot move back and you cannot go back. It is like time. It is time. Do not let words or judgments that people put on you stop you from moving forward. You have no time to waste to allow anyone to push you back. You must move forward to keep up with who you are and what you want in life. Moving back will only slow you down. Only listen to and let things that push you forward affect you. That is all you need and nothing more." :)

3940. THOUGHTS 4 TODAY: Be thankful that you don't already have everything you desire, if you did, what would there be to look forward to? Be thankful when you don't know something, for it gives you the opportunity to learn. Be thankful for your mistakes. They will teach you valuable lessons. Be thankful when you're tired and weary, because it means you've made a difference.

text messages 3876- 3905

Hello guys!! Here's another batch of text messages. from inspirational text messages, romantic love quotes, funny text messages to pinoy text jokes. I'll be posting next time more text messages that you can share with your family and friends.


Inspirational Text Messages

3876. Every bad situation will have something positive. Even a dead clock shows correct time twice a day. Stay positive... God knows what's best for us. Have a happy morning!! =)

3877. Only in God we are truly safe and secure. Anything else is false security, whether you are surrounded by mighty walls of stone, a comfortable home or a secure job. No one can predict what tomorrow may bring. Our relationship with God is the only security that cannot be taken away. God Bless!!

3878. Like birds, let's leave behind what we don't need to carry...Grudges, sadness, pain, fear and regrets! Fly light... Life is beautiful! Good Morning!!

3879. Don't run ahead of God. Let Him direct your steps. He has plans and He has time. God's clock is never early nor late... it always strikes on time.

3880. Don't count what you lost, cherish what you have and plan what to gain, because past never returns, but the future may fulfill the loss. =)

text messages 3841-3875

3841. A short "hello" makes ONE glow; a short "hi" makes ONE smile; a short "text" makes a day great; but a short "prayer" 4 you will make your day safe! Good morning!!!

3842. Little trials without God can break you. Big trials with Him can make you great. May you always find strength in God's faithful providence. Good morning!!!

3843. Hear with your heart. See with your soul. Be guided by a hand that you can't hold. Trust even if you can't see. That's what faith must be! God bless! Good morning!!!

3844. Good morning. A new day has come for us to celebrate the challenges of life and to share with the less fortunate the blessings we receive. Have a magical day.

3845. POINTS TO PONDER:
*Brain cells come & go, but fat cells live forever.
*Age doesn't always bring wisdom, sometimes it comes alone.
*Life not only begins at 40, it also begins to show.
*The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave the unsaid wrong thing at the tempting moment.
*Even if you are on the right track, you'll get run over if you'll just sit there.
*Today will be yesterday in just 24 hours...TGIF :-) TAKE CARE! :-)

text messages 3816 - 3840

3816. A nice thought: You've got to accept a little sorrow in life. You'll never really know what happiness is, unless you have something to compare it to. :)

3817. How was it to be unnoticed by the person you notice most?...it's as if you were offering your most beautiful portrait to a blind person.

3818. "Not everything that makes us happy is right..but for sure, there will come a time when everything that is right,will make us happy"..

3819. Like the rain can't be stopped from falling, God's love and blessing keep on pouring, I hope you woke up renewed, refreshed and comfort of his company. Good Morning. Have a nice day ahead!:)

3820. Life has great options,you don't always have to pick what seems best...sometimes,the best & the perfect aren't always what makes you happy...you may have chosen what seems to be a wrong decisi0n or caught in a not so good situation but at times,it is through them that our lives become better. :)

text messages 3631-3665

3631. Sometimes, God breaks our spirit to save our soul. He breaks our heart to make us whole. He sends us pain so we can be stronger. Sometimes, He sends us failure so we can be humble. He takes everything away from us so we can learn the value of everything we have. I pray that happiness be at your door. May it knock early & leave the gift of GOD’s peace, love, joy & good health behind. God bless! Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!!

3632. Leave something for GOD. But never leave GOD for something. 'Coz in life, something will leave you... but GOD will always be there for you. May you have a wonderful Christmas!!

3633. Wishing you not just smile but laughter, not just happiness but pure joy, not just wealth but heavens treasure and not just silence but God's peace. Happy New Year!!!

3634. There are only five things that you need in life. Good Work, Good friends, Good food, Good sleep and Good Luck. Whatever you're thinking... it's all up to you. Hehehe.. Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to you!!

3635. God will either give you what you ask or something far better that what you wished. Keep on praying and be thankful 'coz God's answers are wiser than our prayers. Merry Christmas!!

text messages 3616-3630

3616. Life can give you a hundred reasons to cry, but you can give life a thousand reasons to smile. Happy Thanksgiving!!Good Evening!

3617. A fish would never be happy living on land because it was made for water. You will never feel completely satisfied on earth because you were made for heaven! Rev 21:1 - Be happy! Happy Thanksgiving!

3618. One of my biggest rewards is to see your smile and to know that you are happy. I know life is sometimes going BAD but that is why I'm here for you to show that life can be good when somebody cares. Happy thanksgiving!!

3619. The most humbling statement we can say is "I am nothing without GOD" and our most powerful statement is "with God I can do anything" Happy Thanksgiving!! Good evening!

3620. A true friend defines the real meaning of friendship "it isn't based on how many secrets you share,isn't how well you get along nor how much you like each other, isn't how people see you together.. But it appreciates the differences, the gaps, the hindrances, the trials and still a friend looks at you, straight from the heart...without hatred, without judgement, without envy, without criticisms, only pure acceptance and respect. Good Morning!!

text messages 3501-3530

3501. Life has it’s best, pains, failure and everything but it is natural. It’s God’s way to teach us how to make one step higher after we fall. Good Morning!

3502. Love is not always a fairytale. There are people who give so much love to those who don’t love them back. There are some people who feel so loved and find out in the end they are fooled. There are some who’s into mutual love but can’t call as there partner as their own ‘coz someone already holds the title. There are some who gave so much love but the others won’t believe ‘coz they always consider your past. There are some who received so much love but can’t seem to move on from the previous relationship or the others just want to play game and choose their playmate. Now which story is yours?

3503. If you’re facing trouble right now, don’t ask “why me?” Instead ask, “What do you want me to learn?”then trust God and keep on doing what is right. Don’t give up! Grow up!

3504. We know little about pain and regret, except that it is soluble in alcohol.

3505. Oprah Winfrey: “Though I’m still grateful for the blessings of wealth, it hasn’t changed who I am. My feet are still on the ground. I’m just wearing better shoes”

text messages 3481-3500

3481. Through out the years of your life you’ll face many challenges, remember that you climb the highest mountain, drive through the roughest storm, soar across the bluest sky, or even sail across the roughest waters. It’s only destined by your attitude where you’ll end up in life. The most important thing is don’t let your self get lost in the crowd. – Angela Duvall

3482. If an angel and devil were to fall in love with each other, can their love transcend the laws of heaven and hell? Can the angel set her wings on fire? Can the devil soar at daylight? This is fates decree…love can’t change what isn’t meant to be…unless uminom sila ng coke…:)

3483. One good reason why we should pray: It’s because God can do more in a second than what we can do for ourselves in a lifetime. God bless! :)

3484. I want to run away from you…but if I do, I know the path will only lead me back to you. There’s just no escape from you…because…you love me. – Kaiserin

3485. I hate insomnia, not because it doesn’t put me into sleep despite the fact that I’m tired, but because it puts me into a state of reminiscing memories I know I couldn’t bring back. I wish I could drive insomnia away. Not so I can dream well, but to save my pillow from being drowned by my tears. :(

text messages 3451 - 3480

3451. As you admire the wonderful things God has made today, remember you're one of them - wonderful inside and out. You're blessed. You're special. You're loved. Good morning!

3452. God needs to know what you want not because He easily forgets. It's because he loves to feel the sweetness of your prayer. Good evening. God bless.

3453. God always repays caring acts. It may not be with money or goods but more often, He repays with health, happiness, friendship and love. Good morning! Take care.

3454. To wake up each morning healthy and at peace is a gift from God more precious than gold. May all your mornings be filled with God's gifts. Good morning!

3455. God has a purpose for all that is happening in this world. Be it something good or something bad, he never willed our lives to be like hell. So when a turning point seems so terrible, later you would notice that a wonderful thing compensates for the seemingly hopeless incident. Very often than not, our lives become better. It was a blessing in disguise after all. Trust in him always because he never let us down. :)

text messages 3401 - 3450

3401. Life is an undying cycle. It is a battle of survival. If you quit, then you're a loser. If you fall, then stand up. If you keep on complaining about the miseries of your life, nothing will happen. God doesn't throw stones that we cannot catch. Live with Him and everything will turn out right. Good evening!

3402. Nothing makes a new day more promising than having the right heart, the right spirit, the right mind, and the right strength that comes from God.

3403. Tell God all your 3 P's: Problems, Pressures and Plans and He will give you His ABC's. Answers to prayers, Best favors and Courage to go on.

3404. Life is more meaningful if you have plenty of CASH. Christ Assurance of Salvation and Holiness. May you never run out of CASH for the rest of your life. :)

3405. The Bible says, "God will never give you a burden you can't bear." So, when you have a problem you think it's impossible to fix, take it as a compliment. God knows you can. Good night!

3406. Let me share this beautiful text: I asked God, "How do I get the best out of life?" God answered, "Face your past without regret, handle your present with confidence, prepare for the future without fear." Then He added, "Keep the faith and drop the fear. Don't believe your doubts and don't doubt your beliefs. Life is wonderful if you know how to live."

3407. To start a day is just like painting: Draw the lines with prayers, erase the errors with forgiveness, dip the brush with lots of patience, and color it with love. Good morning!

3408. Evening comes to pack up all the events of the day. Leave your worries behind and rest your body and mind. Let love be in your heart so you can sleep well tonight. Good night!

3409. Life has great options, but you don't always have to pick what seems to be the best. Sometimes, the best and perfect aren't always what makes you happy. Good day!

3410. Time and things don't really last. What matters are the people we care about and the values we dare to live and share. Let life be as beautiful as your heart.

3411. I used to think that I can wait. Wait till there's nothing left to wait for. But then I realized, I can wait till I forget the reason why I'm waiting.

3412. The first step towards getting somewhere is to decide that you are not going to stay where you are.

3413. The best feeling in the world is realizing you're perfectly happy without the thing you thought you needed. Have a nice day ahead!

3414. If people have to leave us in one way or another, it would be best if they'll do it 100% lie-free and just slap the truth in our faces. We all do deserve something better than just lame excuses because lies in all sort do make us appear stupid.

3415. The best feeling in the world comes when you start feeling good again after feeling awful for a long time.

3416. If everything happened when and how we wanted it to, nothing in this world would ever be worth waiting for. There's a time for everything. God bless.

3417. When someone breaks your heart, you turn into a small ball of self-pity. You lie on bed, you hug your knees and keep them close like a fetus. Freud said: "It's human instinct to go back to the womb where we can feel safe."

3418. No one is born happy, but all of us are born with the ability to create happiness. Just remember, happiness is a state of mind and it depends on ones attitude towards life, not on what one has.

3419. Today, don't say any unkind words. Think of the people who can't speak. Don't complain about the food you eat, some have nothing. Don't complain about life, many die young. When you're tired of your job, think of the jobless, the disabled and those who wish they had yours. When sad thoughts seem to put you down, put a smile on your face, be positive and be thankful you're alive and still around. Life is a gift from God. Live it well. Good morning!

3420. A turtle once taught me that no matter how heavy his bearings are, it's his choice to carry the luggage for it is the only way he feels protected. Good morning!

3421. There are two kinds of worlds: the one you dream about and the real one. The challenge is not to choose but to make both worlds meet.

3422. Words from Ally McBeal: "If you wanna end up with the right person, you've got to make it happen. The best people are always taken. If you don't steal them, you won't have them."

3423. Did you know that most people assume that the summation of all the causes of hurt, pain and hatred in one word is just expectations?

3424. There were times I love to hate you. And then I love to love you. It's like I want to throw you off a cliff, then rush to the bottom to catch you.

3425. Somewhere in your heart, try to find a place for me. Somewhere in your heart, I don't care where it might be. One little corner may not mean so much to you but one little corner would be enough to see me through.

3426. As I lay down the cards in the game of solitaire. I see the king and queen of hearts side by side, I remember you and me and how you left me for the jack of hearts.

3427. I'd rather be with someone who loves me more than I love him. I'm 100% sure that my happiness is his priority, and no more sleepless nights.

3428. It's wrong to hurt those who love you, but it's worse to love those who hurt you.

3429. I began to make a step the moment I knew where I stand. Then I moved on.

3430. There's nothing enigmatic about why we fall in love with the wrong people. It's caused by the hormonal imbalances and chemical reactions in our system. Science can now explain it. - Discovery Channel.

3431. The heart is like a Rubik's cube, someone is supposed to mess the cube first so someone else could fit the colors perfectly.

3432. Sometimes, it's easier to act like you don't care than to admit that it's killing you.

3433. If you were to make the biggest decision in your life, would you rather be "Happy but wrong or sad but right?"

3434. It's just something that happens as we age up. We realize it's not important to have many friends, what's important is to have real ones.

3435. A friend is like a guitar. You have to keep tuning once in a while to keep the melody of friendship alive. Good evening!

3436. Hear with your heart. See with your soul. Be guided by a hand that you can't hold. Trust even if you can't see. That's what faith must be.

3437. True strength of character is not just calculated by how well we manage to carry a sizabl load under challenging conditions , but is perhaps better measured by our ability to remain kind and light spirited, even when we're sure that we can't bear the weight of one more ounce of life.

3438. Problemado ka ba at walang panggimik? Ito ang sagot dyan! Just text NANAY PENGE PERA at isend sa number nya! Ang dali, hindi ba? May chance ka pang mamura!

3439. Payabangan. Erni: Ang galing ng aso ko! Tuwing umaga, dala nya'ng dyaryo sa akin. Bert: Alam ko. Erni: Ha? Paano mo nalaman? Bert: Ikinikwento sa akin ng aso ko.

3440. There are times we treat life like a mysterious door. It doesn't open no matter how hard we push it! We never notice that a huge sign is posted there that reads, PULL.

3441. Slogans of famous presidents: Marcos: Mabuhay ang Filipino! Cory: Laban Filipino! Ramos: Sulong Filipino! Erap: Casino Filipino! GMA: Naloko ko ang Filipino!

3442. An airplane crashed at a town in Batangas: Media: Manong, pakilarawan po ng nangyari. Manong: Ala eh, nakow, garne ga utoy. Kakaalmusal ko laang. Gayak ako'y sisinsay sa kahanggan, ay natan-awan ko yaan sa alapaap ay nasisilaban. Bago sumirok ng papagay-on na akala mo'y papatak. Ginagaling na laang at sa sukalang are sumugba, ay kung sa kabayanan ga, ay di panay mga utas! Media: Ano daw??

3443. The secret of contentment is knowing how to enjoy what you have and be able to lose all the desire for things beyond your reach. Let's not be materialistic. Tama na yung magaganda at gwapong nilalang tayo.

3444. A playboy died. During a mass: Priest: He's an honest guy, good husband and family man. Wife: (whispered to her son) Anak, tingnan mo nga. Baka hindi na si papa mo yung nakaburol.

3445. Ang ingles ng nagpakamatay, suicide. Namatay sa bahay, homecide. Namatay sa inis, pesticide. Pinatay ng intsik. Intsikticide. Namatay sa ibabaw ng girl. In-sex-he-died.

3446. Waiting for someone you love isn't easy especially when while you're waiting, the one you are waiting for isn't aware that you are waiting. - Tongue twister yan, wag na mag-emote!

3447. Flash report: A thief broke into Malacanang. He stumbled into GMA and FG at the hall way. The first couple froze in silence. The thief panicked, ran away and screamed, "Magnanakaw!"

3448. Bruno: Tay, nasugatan ako! Tatay: Buti nga, hindi ka umiyak. Lalaki talaga ang anak ko! Bruno: Syempre naman po tay, sabi nga sa kani Fergie, "Big Girls Don't Cry."

3449. Think positive! Japanese archaeologist digging 100 meters down found copper wire, says, "Very good, our great ancestors of 1000 years already had telephone!" Americans dug 200 meters and found optical cable, says, "My God! This means our great forefathers already had broadband 2000 years ago!" Pinoy digs 500 meters and found nothing, says, "Ang lupit ng mga ninuno natin! Wireless!"

3450. Pulis: Bayad ko sa pancit. Tsino Himala, bakit ikaw bayad? Pulis: Utos ni chief. Bawal na ang kotong. Tsino: Ok, mula ngayon, baboy na lagay ko pancit mo, hindi na daga!



Contributors:
3401-3404, 3414-3419, 3423-3426, 3448-3450: Anonymous (+63910555***9)
3405, 3408-3413, 3431-3441: Asha (+63917898***7)
3406: Abet (+63917866***0)
3407: Noreen (+63919285***1)
3420-3421, 3443-3444: Anonymous (+63920801***3)
3422: Vahnrey (+63919227***5)
3427-3430, 3445-3447: Eroica
3442: Anonymous (+63906343***8)

text messages 3351 - 3400

3351. If you keep God inside your heart, there is nothing that will come into your life that you won't be able to handle. God bless you always!

3352. Those who appear in your life - whether to help or to harm - are all given by God. Meet all of them with a peaceful heart but with a warrior's spirit. You will fail many times, but in falling, you will learn, and in learning you will find your way. Remember, there are no mistakes in life - only lessons. And lessons will keep on repeating themselves until learned. God bless.

3353. God sends us joy to keep our hearts young, hope to enrich our lives, leisure to refresh our spirits and love to make our world beautiful. Have a nice day!

3354. May your morning be a garden of God's wonderful blessings and your life blossoms with every dream that's close to your heart. May God be with you in everything you do. Good morning!

3355. No matter how our dreams may seem unreachable, dream them anyway. No matter how we've been hurt by the people we love, love them anyway. No matter how hard life is, live it anyway. No matter how our prayers seem unanswered, pray them anyway. God will make a way! Good morning!

3356. Always stretch your heart and expand your love, so that it touches not only those who you give it to but also to those who need it so much. Gandang umaga!

3357. Life is like having a cup of coffee. You sit by the window, lift the cup and take a sip only to realize that somebody forgot to put the sugar. Too lazy to go for it, you somehow struggle thru that sugarless cup. Until you discovered undissolved sugar crystals sitting at the bottom. That's how life is, we sometimes forget to make an effort to value what is around us. Look around, maybe, the sweetness you are looking for is closer than you think. Start your day right. Flash a smile. Have your coffee. Make it sweet.

3358. Anyone who has ever really lived knows that there is no life without growth. When we stop growing, we stop living and start existing. But there is no growth without challenge and there is no challenge without change. Life is a series of changes that create challenges and if we are going to make it, we have to grow.

3359. If A is a success in life, than A equals x plus y plus z. Work is x; y is play; and z is keeping your mouth shut. - Albert Einstein

3360. Be thankful that you don't have everything you desire, if you did, what would there be to look forward to? Be thankful for the difficult times, it's during those times you grow. Be thankful for your limitations because they give you opportunities for improvement. Be thankful for your mistakes. They will teach you valuable lessons. Find a way to be thankful for your troubles and they can become your blessings.

3361. We can't own time to have long talks. We don't have nice chances for more laughs, but even though our worlds don't meet, I will always be your friend to keep.

3362. Another moon? Possible. Another sun? Possible? Another sky? Possible. Another you? Impossible! Because God can't make the same mistake twice. Hehehe.

3363. An old lady offers the bus driver some peanuts. So, the driver happily munches them. Every 5 minutes, she gives him a handful more peanuts. Driver: Why don't you eat them yourself? Old lady: I can't chew. Look, I have no teeth! Driver: Then, why did you buy them? Old lady: Oh, I just love the chocolate around them!

3364. Women are like the police. They can have all the evidence in the world, but they still want the confession.

3365. A message from the heart. If you don't take care of yourself, we'll take good care of you! - Funeraria Paz.

3366. In bed. Girl: Not tonight. I've got an appointment with my OB. Guy: Eh sa dentist, may appointment ka?

3367. A short story: Woman driving the road. Man driving up the same road. They pass by each other. Woman yells out the window. "Pig!" Man yells back, "B*tch!" Man rounds next curve and crashes into a huge pig in the middle of the road and dies. Lesson: If only men would listen.

3368. Wrong spelling can kill! Watch out. Husband on an out of town assignment texted his wife: Trip is wonderful. I'm having a good time. Wish you were her.

3369. Girl about to be married: Dad, I'm so sad to be leaving Mom! Dad: I understand. Don't let me stand in the of your happiness. Plaease, take your Mom with you!

3370. What's the difference between love and herpes? Herpes is forever!

3371. Kapag walang bolpen, walang notes. Kapag walang notes, walang pag-aaral. Kapag walang pag-aaral, walang diploma. Kapag walang diploma, walang work. Kapag walang work, walang pera. Kapag walang pera, walang pagkain. Kapag walang pagkain, magugutom. Kapag nagutom, papayat. Kapag pumayat, papanget. Kapag pumangit, walang gf/bf. Kapag walang gf/bf, walang asawa. Kapag walang asawa, walang anak. Kapag walang anak, madedepress. Kapag nadepress, magkakasakit. Kapag nagkasakit, mamamatay ka. Kapag namatay ka, wala ka na. Kaya, ingatan mo yang ballpen mo!

3372. Bakit walang kulay ang utot? Kasi, kung meron, mawawala yung thrill nang paghahanap kung sino ang umutot.

3373. Define love. According to the nurses and intelligent people, love is a sickness. Because everybody who gets it ends up in bed!

3374. Pare, tulungan mo ako. Panay kalabit ng asawa ko. Anong problema doon. Wala ka ba sa mood? Eh hindi ganoon. 3 taon nang patay ang asawa ko eh.

3375. Sino nakakita sa aksidente? Ako po sir! Buti naman may witness. Kita mo ba plate number? Oho, nagsisimula ho sa 4. Ano kasunod? Registration po.

3376. What do you call two ugly people stabbing each other? Answer: Saksakan ng pangit! Hehehe.

3377. Kung malaki ang eyebags mo, huwag mong ikahiya! Kasi, pinagpuyatan mo yan eh.

3378. Old lady calls to her daughter. Papauwi ka na ba? Asan ka na? Daughter: Andito po ako sa hospital. Her mom cried. Anong nangyari sa iyo?! Daughter: Inay! Nurse po ako! Nurse!!!

3379. May isang Mangyan sa Jollibee. Mangyan: Pabili ng pulot (honey). Crew: Wala po kaming tindang pulot. Mangyan: Kayabangan mo! Laking-laki nung bubuyog sa labas!

3380. Inday, punta ka sa botika. Ibili mo si sir ng Viagra. Maid: Sa iyo ba gagamitin ni Sir? Misis: Bakit? Maid: Kasi, pag sa akin, Red Bull lang, pwede na!

3381. Sen. Cayetano: It's now the turn of Sen. Lapid to ask witness Jun Lozada. Sen. Lapid: Ha? Pass! Sen. Cayetano: Hindi pwede. Dapat lahat tayo, magtanong! Huwag ka nang mahiya, anong nasa isip mo ngayon? Sen. Lapid: Ha? Eh, kaanu-ano mo si Ike Lozada?

3382. Kissing in the lips is great, but be sure you never close your eyes and not too long because you'll encounter a strange feeling called "Lee Bog!"

3383. Minsan, mas espesyal ang laway kaysa ngiti. Kasi, kahit sino, pwede mong ngitian, pero ang laway, tutulo lang sa taong gusto mong tikman!

3384. Money can't buy happiness, but somehow, it's more comfortable to cry in BMW than on a bicycle.

3385. How do you compare Erap and Mike Arroyo? Both are billionaires. Both Ateneans. Both fat. Both alias Jose. Both are liars. Pero si Erap, mas may taste sa babae!

3386. It's not true that beer makes you fat. It actually makes you lean. Lean on walls, lean on doors and lean on to the person you love. Yun yun eh! Lasing lasingan, para-paraan!

3387. Mike Arroyo met Gary Kasparov. Mike: If the present situation in my country is like a chess game, what would you do? Gary: Sacrifice the queen, ride the horse, leave the castle, follow the bishop and resign!

3388. Pari, nagmimisa. Sino sa inyo ang may kaaway? Taas kamay lahat pwera sa isang matandang babae. Pari: Si lola lang ang walang kaaway. Ano po ang edad nyo, lola? Lola: 93 anyos. Pari: Tingnan nyo si lola, 93 anyos na pero walang kaaway! Lola, bakit wala kayong kaaway? Lola: Patay na ang mga walang hiya!

3389. Men are like parking spots. The good ones are taken and the free ones are handicapped. Hahaha.

3390. Alcohol solves no problems, neither does milk. Pero buti pa ang alak, libre kung minsan. Ang gatas? Meron bang nanglibre ng gatas at sabi, tara, dede tayo!?

3391. Daga1: Ako tapang! Kain ako ng Racumin! Daga2: Mas tapang ako. Kain ako ng cheese with mouse trap. Daga3: Ako tapang sa lahat! Girlfriend ko, pusa! Makes sense? Be brave enough to love someone whom you know might kill you in the end. Akalain mo, may moral lesson pa yun?! Hahaha!

3392. Kung amoy putok ka, be proud! Pinagpawisan mo yan eh!

3393. Chinese Diplomat: Madam Plesident, we heard you have a shortage of lies (rice). GMA: To tell you frankly, we will never run out of it!

3394. Sabi ng puso ko, mahal ko sya. Sabi ng utak ko, huwag, hindi tama. Sabi ko naman, O, baka yung atay, bituka, baga dyan, gusto ring magcomment. Go on!

3395. Kung hindi mo kayang magpaliwanag, magpagabi ka na lang!

3396. Anong isda ang mahilig magtampisaw sa ulan? Sagot: Hito! - Hito akooooo. Basang basa sa ulan, walang masisilungan. Haha!

3397. Pinadalhan ni Vicky Belo ng sulat ang lahat ng gwapo at magaganda. Alam mo ba kung ano ang laman ng sulat? Hindi mo alam? Hindi ka pinadalhan??!

3398. Bakit hindi pwedeng magsuot ng hairnet ang mga kalbo? Kasi, magmumukha silang microphone! Wahaha! Extreme! Extreme! Magic sing!

3399. Time, I've been passing time watching trains go by... - Guard sa LRT. Hahaha!

3400. Three men who were about to go to outer space but only allowed one thing to bring. Man1: I wanna go with my wife. I can't be without my wife for a year. Man2: I'll go with my book. I want to have more knowledge. Man3: Give me a pack of cigarettes, I'll die without it in my life. One year later, they came back. Man1 came out with a child, the second came and spoke words nonstop. The last man came out very angry. Tangna! Lighter nga pala! Sad noh?!



Contributors:

3351-3352, 3358, 3363, 3384-3400 :Asha (+63921955***9)
3353-3356. Anonymous (+63920801***3)
3357, 3362, 3364-3369, 3371-3383. Anonymous (+63910555***9)
3359, 3370: Eroica
3360-3361: Vahnrey (+639192274***5)

text messages 3251 - 3300

3251. Leave something for God but never leave God for something. Because in life, something will leave you, but God will always be there for you.

3252. God hides from us the things that we are not yet ready to receive. That's why when we try to get it ourselves, we end up with the second best. Just pray and wait.

3253. Life is an adventure of faith in God, full of surprises yet fulfilling, full of tests yet satisfying, and full of trials yet strengthening. Good morning!

3254. A painting of Christ knocking on a cottage door was critically examined by the artist friend to look for any mistakes in it. No one could find anything but admiration. Finally, a young artist found a basic mistake. "You forgot to paint the door handle or lock on the door." "My friend," the artist remarked, "when Christ knocks on the door of your house, it can only be opened from the inside." Good evening!

3255. Whenever you don't understand what's happening in your life, you just have to close your eyes, take a deep breath and say, "Lord, I know it's your plan, just help me thru it."


3256. Not all people can understand the way I am, some may hate me while some will love. But for all of these, I still love the way I am because I don't want to pretend as someone just to flatter anyone.

3257. Learn to apologize when the situation calls for it. Don't allow little issues to get out of hand. Stop thinking of yourself sometimes. Lower your pride and mean your apology. You'll be amazed how the words "I'm sorry" can mean much to someone in pain; much more if you're the reason for the hurt.

3258. The special reason for living is life itself. Finding it complicated, difficult and unfair is merely a part of it, and life would never be complete without it. Because life is like a chocolate, without a piece of bitterness, its sweetness would be useless.

3259. It's funny how day by day nothing changes, but when you look back, everything is different.

3260. Best age is encourage. Best mile is smile. Best stand is understand. Best end is friend. Best day is today. May God keep you happy and safe everyday.

3261. Life is like posing for pictures, we pose the way we want to be seen by others, but stolen shots are better. They capture who we really are.

3262. Learn. But always learn with other people by your side. Don't be alone in the search because if you take a wrong step, you'll have no one there to help put you right. - Paulo Coelho (The Witch of Portobello)

3263. Belief, hard work, and love - you have those things. you can do anything. - For One More Day.

3264. It is better to be a human being dissatisfied than a pig satisfied; better to be Socrates dissatisfied tha a fool satisfied. - John Stuart Mill

3265. Value things while you still can because you'll never know when they'll be gone. You can always fight for it but what if it's too late? That's when you realize your life is missing a piece and that piece will remain missing forever.

3266. A joke and a truth are not mutually exclusive. Sometimes, the best jokes are true and the best truth are jokes.

3267. The happiest people are those having the most simple lives and the least stressful lifestyles. Let us learn to simplify things. For simplicity is not just beauty. It is a blessing.

3268. If you're shopping for a happy ending and you couldn't find one, buy a new beginning instead.

3269. Happy thoughts remove life's pressures. They have healing powers and uplift spirits. They lead to blissful lives. Think happy today! God bless.

3270. Sometimes I wonder why sunset is more beautiful than sunrise. I guess it's an irony of life. Sometimes, better things could really happen saying goodbye.

3271. One of the reasons why people get so sentimental is because memories are the only things that don't change when everything else does.

3272. The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing on the right place, but to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.

3273. I know it's impossible that we'll always be together. But that doesn't mean we can't have a quantified laughs together, you know. I'll take whatever you can give cause I'm just happy to be with you.

3274. You'll never know how much you needed your friends until you look back along the rope and realized how many knots they tied to keep you from falling.

3275. My life is not really perfect, not so wonderful, but I have reasons to be happy because there are persons like you who's been good to me.

3276. Some of us are so busy now, forwarded messages are not merely just messages sent, but with it, goes a secret note saying I remember you still.

3277. Sometimes, you have to put walls up around you, not to keep people out, but to see who cares enough to break them down.

3278. People always think that the most painful thing is losing the one you love in your life. The truth is, the most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, forgetting that you are special too.

3279. It is so much easier to say that you don't love someone than try to explain to everyone all the reasons why you still do.

3280. Sometimes, when I'm alone, I can't help but think of all the things I've done in the past. I go out with my friends to drink and got drunk. Some people would ask why would I waste my money buying alcoholic drinks because it brings nothing and can ruin my life. They may be right and they may not understand the importance of drinking alcohol. But for me, those drinking sessions, I've found real friendship. We talked, we laughed, and we even started building dreams. That's the essence of drinking!

3281. Doctor: I'm sorry to tell you that you've got rabies. Patient: Please give me a piece of paper and pencil. Doctor: You don't have to write your will. Patient: No, I want to make a list of people to bite.

3282. Why did the chewing gum cross the road? Because he was stuck to the chicken's foot.

3283. In this world, every wife is a mistress to her husband. 1 hour of miss and 23 hours of stress.

3284. The secret of life is happiness. The secret of happiness is love. The secret of love is sacrifice. The secret of sacrifice is to obey your wife.

3285. They say I look good. I say, I taste even better! Hahaha!

3286. The Americans said: We felt and experienced pain and hardship since the 9/11. The Filipino said: We also felt and experienced that. When? The Americans ask. The Filipino said: Since 4/11. (The height of GMA).

3287. My doctor put me on a seafood diet. Now, I only eat when I see food.

3288. Lalaki, umuwi at nakita ang asawa na nakasexy lingerie. Wife: Itali mo ako, tapos, gawin mo ang nais mo. Itinali ng lalaki ang asawa, tapos, nag DOTA sya!

3289. The Philippines is overpopulated because: ayaw ng birth control, walang death penalty, daming jobless kaya babad kama, dami lasing kaya ganda lagi misis.

3290. Minsan ba, nakikita mo akong kausap ang sarili ko? Ngayon, malabo mo na yung makita. Kasi, nag-away kami. Parang tanga kasi!

3291. Sa isang school. Boy: Tapos ka na ba sa exam mo? Girl: Bakit naman? Boy: Wala lang. Para ako naman ang sagutin mo.

3292. Words to live by: Whenever I feel like working, I lie down until the feeling is gone. Katamaran at its best!

3294. Ang tunay na kagandahan at kagwapuhan ay hindi nakikita sa pisikal na anyo ng isang tao kundi nasa puso! Yan! Yan ang paniniwala ng mga panget! Tayo, quiet lang.

3295. Makabagong kasabihan, kagandahan edition: Para sa magaganda: Aanhin mo ang ganda, kung wala ka namang papa. Para sa gustong magpaganda, retokada: Kung gusto mong maglandi, tiisin mo ang hapdi. Para sa mga feeling maganda: Talbog ang matigas na tinapay sa tigas ng mukha ng nagmamagandang inday. Para sa mga walang ganda: Mabait man daw at magaling, ang chaka-chaka pa rin.

3296. There are two reasons why people change: either tapos na maligo, or basa na ng pawis.

3297. Erap (nageexercise): 1234 Amen, 5678 Amen, 8765 Amen, 4321 Amen! Jinggoy: Dad, bakit may pa Amen, Amen pa kayo? Erap: Kasi, sabi ng doctor ko, exercise religiously.

3298. Malas daw si GMA sa letrang J. Jose Miguel Arroyo, Joseph Estrada, Jocjoc Bolante, Joey de Venecia, Jose de Venecia, Jun Lozada. Hindi pa kasama dun ang hamburJer ni Abalos!

3299. Today, when you feel like nobody loves you and when you feel like everyone is against you, don't panic! Pito na kayo nina GMA, FG, Defensor, Neri, Atienza, Abalos at Razon!

3300. Lozada: 1/2 Pinoy 1/2 Intsik. Apostol: 1/2 Pinoy 1/2 Bulol. Joker Arroyo: 1/2 Pinoy 1/2 Pikon. Santiago: 1/2 Pinay 1/2 Buang. Enrile: 1/2 GMA 1/2 Erap. Neri: 1/2 Pinoy 1/2 Pinay. Gonzales: 1/2 Pinoy 1/2 Linta. Razon: 1/2 Pinoy 1/2 Patola. Donald Dee: 1/2 Intsik 1/2 Traydor. FG: 1/2 Pork 1/2 Buwaya. GMA: 1/2 lang.

Contributors:
3251, 3257-3261, 3274, 3280-3281: Asha (+63917898***7)
3252-3254, 3266-3271, 3276-3279, 3283-3287, 3289-3297, 3299-3300: Anonymous (+63910555***9)
3255, 3272: Nicely
3256: Vahnrey (+63919227***5)
3262-3265, 3288: Eroica (+63917808***9)
3273: Dudai (+63920209***2)
3275, 3298: Anonymous (+63920801***3)
3282: Ariel (277001010***2)

text messages 3201 - 3250

Happy Valentine's Day to all the readers and subscribers of Textmates!

3201. When these days are gone, when the little love you once feel for me slowly fades away, when your smile and laugh is only here as a dream, and when the words "I love you" are scripts of the past, I'll always have the memories that were once moments, and I'll always know that no matter what, I got the chance to love you the best way I can.

3202. A man reserves his true and deepest love not for the species of woman in whose company he finds himself electrified and enkindled, but for that one whose company he may feel tenderly drowsy.

3203. Even if a day should go by when I don't say "I love you", may there never be a moment that goes by without you knowing that I do.

3204. Death can't kill what is not measured by time. I will love you forever, and when I die, whatever part of me is left, will love you, far beyond eternity.

3205. If I have to count reasons why I love you and why I'm so in love with you, I would have to count forever.

3206. How can I promise forever when tomorrow is so far away from me? How can I ease the pain when I have a bleeding heart inside of me? How can I forget someone like you when your name etched so deep within me?

3207. If it's meant to be, even if we let each other go, our hearts will find each other even when we part ways. And if our hearts melt together so will our bodies and soul. Then, every word and every touch will fuel our passion flame. I'll be yours, you'll be mine, and we'll be one till the end of time.

3208. What is LOVE? Some say it could conquer the world. Others say you will lose yourself, completely blind. But have you ever wondered what's behind those letters L.O.V.E.? I would say, it's a reminder. There's an L because man could not live without Love, there's an O for you wouldn't be able to spell your w_rld without it, there's V since you make yourself Vulnerable to things that they call moments, and E, to tell us the reason of our Existence.

3209. Question: What is the difference between love and a pack of cigarettes? Answer: Both of them can make you sick, but at least, the cigarettes come with a warning!

3210. The purpose of relationships is not to have someone who might complete you, but to have someone whom yo might share your incompleteness with you!

3211. Setting someone free is the hardest thing to do, but it's not the tears you cried that makes it so hard, it's the small piece of hope left inside your heart that someday, you'll still end up together.

3212. They say that if love becomes painful, it's time to let that love go and save yourself. Just keep this in mind, you'll be able to find another love, but not another self.

3213. When you love, it doesn't matter how many times you cried, how many words you've heard, but it's how much you care and how long you're willing to sacrifice. Even if it means, taking away you own happiness.

3214. Not everything is meant to be, but everything is worth a try.

3215. They say if love becomes painful its time to let that love go and save yourself. Just keep this in mind, "You'll be able to find another love, but not another self."

3216. 6 Stages of love. Self-love. If you can't love yourself, you can't love another. Caregiving love. Love of your parents, relatives, etc. Peers love. Loving your friends. Hero worship. Not idolizing other people and realizing that we are all individuals. Love of the opposite sex. Loving the entire person, not only physical. Mature love. Final of the 6 stages will come when the other 5 are achieved and will last a lifetime.

3217. The rain falls because the sky can no longer handle its heaviness, just like the tears, it falls because the heart can no longer handle the pain.

3218. The one good thing about not seeing you is that I can write you letters but the loneliness, the pain of missing you kills me. How I wanted to be with you till my last breath.

3219. Yes, I love you. I love you more than anybody else in this world, and there is nothing that I would like better than to hold on to you forever.

3220. Some things aren't meant to be kept forever. You know you have to stop and let go when things aren't going right, and everything you did is unappreciated. Remember, it is wiser to be alone and trying to be happy than be with someone who do nothing while you do everything.

3221. One day, when I had the guts I told him, "I love you." He answered, "Am I asking you?" I replied, "I'm willing to wait." He replied, "Did I ask you to wait?" With unshed tears I turned back but he called me, "Where are you going?" I said, "I'm leaving." He asked, "Why are you leaving? I didn't ask you to leave me or ask you to wait, all I know is that I love you too. Isn't that enough reason for you to stay?"

3222. Fixing someone's broken heart is much more like treating a sickness, no matter how hard you try, if you're not the right medicine, you can never cure the pain!

3223. Friends make us brave when we are afraid , make us strong when are are weak, but most of all, they teach us to hold on when tears keep on falling.

3224. Don't count your friends on a sunny day, when the sky is blue and smiles come so easily. Instead, wait for a storm, when the day grows cold and dark, and laughter is not heard in your heavy heart. Then, when a friend stands beside you, and lifts your spirits to the sky, you know that they deserve the name friend. God bless.

3225. There was a bad guy who fall in love to a good girl. The guy really love the girl so much that he will do things just to make the girl happy. The girl told the guy to stop all his rumble and the guy command it. One day, the girl heard the news about the rumble, and she say the guy bloody and dying, the girl cried but the guy smile and said, Hindi ako lumaban, kasi, baka magalit ka.

3226. Ang pagmamahal, hindi natin pinipilit. Hindi rin ito sinasadya. Hindi kayang diktahan. Hindi natin basta ginusto na lang. Dahil kung kontrolado natin ito, magmamahal ba tayo ng taong sasaktan lang tayo?

3227. Gaano kaimposibleng mahalin ka ng taong mahal mo na nagmamahal ng iba? Ganito... para kang nag-aantay ng paparahing dyip sa istasyon ng tren.

3228. A guy gave 3 roses to his girlfriend. The girl said, "Oh, babe, you're so romantic, why do you gave me 3 roses?" The boy said, "Kasi, hindi pwede bumili ng isa lang, tatlo sampu talaga!" Hehehe.

3229. Ikaw, naranasan mo na bang magmahal ng isang taong gagawin ang lahat. Lahat lahat. Mawala ka lang sa buhay nya? Tsk. tsk. Sakit no?

3230. Pagiging single ay masarap. Solo mo ang oras mo. Nakakaipon ka. Walang dumadagdag sa problema. Di ka obligado magtext. Ang pagiging single, talagang masarap. Pero hindi ko sinabing masaya.

3231. Bunso: Inay, tingnan no po ang drawing ko oh. Inay: WOw! Ang galing namang magdrawing ng monkey ng bunso ko. Bunso: Inay, kayo po iyan!

3232. Curfew: Hanggang 10pm lang dapat sa daan. Ang mahuhuli, babarilin. Officer: 9:45 pa lang, bakit mo sya binaril? Sundalo: Alam ko po ang bahay nya, hindi sya aabot. :)

3233. Bading singing Nescafe: A cock in hand makes me feel so right. A cock in hand so good so right, one moment, one s*x sa pwet. Kinanta mo noh?

3234. During cremation, all the relatives stood in silence. Everybody was silent till the child suddenly asked out of curiosity, "Ma, hindi pa ba luto?"

3235. Bawat tao, iba magmahal. May tunay, may salawahan, may nang-iiwan, may todo bigay. Iba iba man ang paraan, wala akong pakialam. Dahil wala akong love life!

3236. Lito Lapid: Why did you write me such a long speech? The people were bored. Secretary: Sir, I gave you a 20-minute speech, plus the two duplicate copies you wanted.

3237. A social study has concluded that a woman's ultimate fantasy is having two men at a time! In the fantasy, one cooks while the other cleans the house. Hehehe.

3238. Amo: O, bakit nakahubad ka? Inday: Sabi po sa cookbook, "Serve without dressing."

3239. Doctor: 6 months na lang ang buhay mo! Mag-asawa ka na ng pangit at bungangera. Lalaki: Gagaling ba ako? Doctor: Hind, pero at least, gugustuhin mo nang mamatay.

3240. Man and wife out on African safari when suddenly, a lion sprang out of nowhere and dragged wife with its jaw. Wife: Shoot! Shoot! Husband: I can't! Wala na akong film!

3241. Nanay: Langya! Anak, buntis ka? Anak: Opo, inay. Nanay: Sinong may gawa nyan? Anak: Inay, project po ito tungkol sa miracle of life. Nanay: Putrages, kahit sinong Poncio Pilato ang bumuntis sa iyo, ipakukulong ko! Sabihin mo, Sino?! Anak: Nay, Marami mo eh. Group project.

3242. Tandaan. Hindi lahat ng maganda, may boyfriend. Ang iba sa kanila, may betlog! Promise!

3243. I was once asked by a curious 4 year old boy. A question that made my jaw drop and leave me puzzled till this time. The boy said, "Ano po ang animal sound ng giraffe?"

3244. Ngayong valentine's day: Blue roses for lovers, white chocolates for crushes, pink balloons for friendships. Most of all, for loveless, red... Redhorse!

3245. Patient: Magkano ang magpaface-lift? Doctor: Complete treatment, P145000. Patient: Ang mahal! Ano ba ang pinakamurang treatment para magmukha akong bata? Doktor: Eto, tsupon, P20 lang.

3246. Doctor teaching medical students. Doctor: The first thing you must learn is to remove your fear. (He inserted his finger in the anus of the corps and licked it.) Doctor: Now, you do it. All students did as the doc had shown. Doctor: Next is that you must be observant. How many of you noticed that I used my middle finger but licked my index finger? Hehehe.

3247. If someone asks me what friendship is, I would stand next to you, smile at you, wrap my arms around you and proudly say, "Uy, ano daw sabi nya? English eh."

3248. Don't be unhappy if all your dreams never come true, just be thankful that your nightmares don't too.

3249. BF: Sinapak ko yung nakasalubong ko, sabihin ba naman na mukha akong magsasaka kapag katabi kita? GF: Huwag ka na magalit, marangal naman ang magsasaka. Bakit ba nya yun sinabi? BF: Kasi, mukha ka raw kalabaw! GF: Asan ba yun at papatayin ko!!!

3250. Son to dying father: Itay, ano po ba ang gusto nyo, magpalibing ba o magpacremate? Ama: Ikaw na ang bahala anak, isurprise mo na lang ako!


Contributors:
3201-3207, 3218-3219. Dudai (+63920209***2)
3208-3213, 3215-3217, 3223, 3231-3244: Asha (+63917898***7)
3214, 3228, 3246: Irish (+63910568***9)
3220, 3227, 3229-3230: Eroica (+63917808***9)
3221, 3247: Anonymous (+63920432***6)
3222: Anonymous (+62906546***7)
3245: Tekla (+63910500***8)
3248-3250: Anonymous (+63910555***9)

text messages 3151 - 3200

Finally after almost 2 months, an update! Sorry for the temporary hiatus. Just got lazy encoding all these text messages. Will try to update this as often as I can. So busy with my work eh. :) Hope you enjoy these!

3151. To you, I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the loyal opposition. - Woody Allen.

3152. I asked God to give me happiness. God said, "No. I give you blessings. Happiness is up to you." Good morning!

3153. 5 Fingers Of Prayer: 1) Your thumb is nearer to you, so pray for those who are closest to you. 2) Pointing finger: Pray for those who teach, instruct and heal. 3) Tallest finger: Pray for our leaders, they need God's guidance. 4) Ring finger: Weakest finger, so pray for those who are weak, troubled or in pain. 5) Little finger: the smallest - to remind you to pray for yourself. Please forward and share to people you care about.

3154. May God put you on His lap tonight and take all the tiredness and pain brought by the busy day and may You sleep tight under His care. Good night! God bless.

3155. A kind heart is a fountain of gladness, making everyone around brighten into smiles. May God bring back to you all the happiness you've given to others. Take care.

3156. Throw your worries to the wind and let them fly to God. In the end, it is He alone who guides the wind to breeze joy and love back to you! Nice day!

3157. Let the blessings of God flow in your life like springs of living water or rivers that never run dry. God cares for you today, tomorrow and forever.

3158. As memory may be a paradise from which we cannot be driven, it may also be a hell from which we cannot escape.

3159. Be energetic. Never tell yourself, "I am tired." The more you accept that thought, the more exhausted you'll become. Life is a matter of perspective. Either you complain because roses have thorns or you rejoice because thorns have roses. It all depends on how you look at it. God bless!

3160. Some thoughts to ponder: 1. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present. 2. What other people think of you is none of your business. 3. Time heals almost everything in time. 4. No one is in charge of yo happiness except you. 5. Don't compare your life to others, you have no idea what their journey is all about.

3161. We cannot change reality but we can change the eyes that see reality. Let us see the good, the true and the beautiful in life. Have a pleasant night!

3162. A good person is like a lighthouse. It doesn't ring bells and fire guns to call attention to its luminance. It simply shines, just like you.

3163. The turning point in the process of growing up is when you discover the core strength within you that survives all hurt.

3164. A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable but more useful than a life spent doing nothing.

3165. As I started to picture the trees in the storm, the answer began to dawn on me. The trees in the storm don't try to stand up straight and tall and erect. They allow themselves to bend and be blown with the wind. They understand the power of letting go. Those trees and those branches that try to stand up strong and straight are the ones that break. Now is not the time for me to be strong, or, I too, will break.

3166. It is not easy to live life sometimes and face the world with a smile when you're crying inside. It takes a lot of courage to reach down inside yourself, hold on to that strength that's still there and know that tomorrow is a new day with new possibilities. But if you can just hold on long enough to see this through, you'll come out a new person - stronger, with more understanding and with a new pride in yourself, from knowing you made it.

3167. To love is to risk not being loved in return. To hope is to risk pain. To try is to risk failure. But risks must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.

3168. We must learn to let go, to give up, to make room for the things we have prayed for and desired. - Charles Fillmore

3169. It's not how big your sin is. It doesn't matter if you're a thief, a rapist, a murderer, a cheater or a liar. The point is: You committed a sin! Ouch!

3170. We are who we are. People don't change. - Estelle, Great Expectations.

3171. You will make me safe, and you will make me close, and rains will make the flowers grow. - Eponine, Les Miserables.

3172. There are two types of people: Those who come in and say, "Well, here I am." and those who come in and say, "Hey, there you are!" Who are you?

3173. In a relationship, it's not difficult to use your brain over the heart. If you find yourself capable of getting involved with someone because you use your brain, it means one thing, you aren't in love with the person. Because when you love someone, it's almost impossible to control your heart and tell it to let the mind handle the relationship. And the same is also true that when you can't use your brain because the heart rules over, it means that you are definitely, positively in love. So good luck to both your brain and heart.

3174. He slept the summer by my side, he filled my days with endless wonders, he took my childhood in stride, but he was gone when autumn came. - Les Miserables.

3175. If the person you are destined to love is not yours to have, or rather the person you have chosen to love can never be yours, stay away from him. Go on, free him and have him live the way he should be but never stop loving him there inside your heart where only you can have him. Buildings collapse, we die, but true and real love lives forever.

3176. If I have to choose between the one who loves me the most and the one I love the most, I'd rather go for the person who loves me the most because I can learn to love that person as our relationship goes on but I can never teach the person I love the most to love me the way it should. So sad and painful but true, have to willingly admit realities.

3177. The way to find out if you really love someone or not is by talking to them. The more you talk to them, the more you either hate them or love them. - Brad Breitenstein

3178. Love is something far more than the desire for sexual intercourse. It is the principal means of escape from the loneliness which afflicts most men and women throughout the greater part of their lives. - Bertrand Russel

3179. Love was only a myth, I thought, and true love, lasting love, was just a lie told by poets; then you came along unexpectedly to prove I was wrong.

3180. To love someone deeply gives you strength. Being love by someone deeply gives you courage.

3181. I never thought that I could fall in love this way; a way that nobody does.

3182. Confucious says: Choose a woman with small hands. So when she holds your peni$, it will look big!

3183. We all love to spend lots of money buying new clothes but never realized that some of the best moments in life are enjoyed without clothes!

3184. I don't like standard beauty - there is no beauty without strangeness.

3185. What's the difference between small peni$ and big peni$? Answer: Big penis: Ah, ah, ah, ah! Small penis: Ha, ha, ha, ha!

3186. He who laughs last is generally the last one to get the joke. - Terry Cohen

3187. I used to be an atheist but I quit, they don't have holidays!

3188. If you talk to God, they call you religious. If God talks to you, they call you psychotic. - Dr. House.

3189. Can you imagine a world without men? No crimes and lots of happy fat women! - Nicole Hollander

3190. Everything has been figured out, except how to live - Jean Paul Sartre

3191. Man marries mute girl, he says, "We must work out a code. If I want sex, I'll stroke your left breast. Reply by pulling my peni$. Once for YES, and 150 times for NO.'

3192. If you want your dreams to come true, don't oversleep.

3193. It is a scientific fact that 1 out of 3 people is ugly. Look at the person at your left and right. If they are good looking, you're in big trouble!

3194. Woman carrying sick baby boy to doctor. Doctor: Is he bottle fed? Woman: Breast fed doc. (Doc squezees woman's breast.) Doc: That's why he's sick, you don't have milk. Woman: Yaya ako Doc! YAYA!

3195. According to health and science, sex and laughter are good for the heart, except when your partner is laughing at you during sex, that is bad for the heart!

3196. Boy: Mom, why am I black and you are white? Mom: Listen son, considering all the crazy things I did years ago, you should be thankful that you are not barking.

3197. Sometimes, I feel like a cup of coffee. A little bitter, a little sweet, but oh so hot!

3198. I hate liquor and I hate men. To me, they are my enemies! But then again, God said, "Love your enemies." So, what can I do? Disobey God? Amen.

3199. Difference between knowledge and wisdom. Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit and not a vegetable. Wisdom is knowing not to include it in a fruit salad.

3200. Never make the same mistake twice. There are so many new ones to make! Try a different one each day!

Contributors:
3151-3152, 3169-3174, 3186-3190: Eroica
3153-3155, 3158-3162, 3182-3185, 3191-3200: Asha (+63917898***7)
3156: Nicely
3157: Anonymous
3163-3168, 3175-3181: Dudai (+63920209***2)

text messages 3101 - 3150

This post is brought to you by

3101. People may not reward you or thank you for your actions, but when Christ is your reason for serving, you receive an even greater blessing in return.

3102. If you are continually being defeated by everything you face, your heart has departed from God. Examine your heart. Choose to listen to God, then obey what He tells you. No matter what you face, you will experience victory! God bless.

3103. The hands of God draw you close, hold you near and embrace you forever. May your heart be assured today of how very precious You are to Him. Good evening!

3104. The seeds of greatness are in you. God never created you to be nobody but a real somebody. He values you so much and loves you more than you ever know. Blessed Sunday ahead!

3105. Knowledge without wisdom is a load of books on a fool's back. - Japanese proverb.

3106. Here comes another time for rest, time for dreams. Hope you wake up tomorrow with the spirit more promising than today! Good night!

3107. Life is a mixture of sunshine and rain, teardrops and laughter, pleasure and pain. Just remember, there was never a cloud that the sun couldn't shine through.

3108. The Don'ts to Remember: Don't wait for time. Make it. Don't wait for love. Feel it. Don't wait for money. Earn it. Don't wait for the path. Hack it. Don't wait for opportunity. Create it. Don't go for less. Get the best. Don't compare. Be unique. Don't avoid failure. Use it. Don't dwell on mistakes. Learn from them. Don't back down. Go around. Don't close your eyes. Open your mind. Don't run from life. Embrace and enjoy it. Don't just read this. Share it!

3109. Why Math has been hated by some? Because it requires them to think and forces them to give the correct and exact value. Because it has a clear distinction of right and wrong. Most people love to speak about any issue but hate to accept that they're wrong. That's the beauty of Math. Right is right and wrong is wrong.

3110. Competence goes beyond words. It's the ability of the leader to say it, plan it and do it in such a way that others know that you know how, and know that they want to follow. - J. Maxwell.

3111. We met each other by chance, become friends by choice, still friends by decision, and when we say friends forever, that's definitely a lifetime. Promise! Friends forever?

3112. As a kid, I loved big gifts. But I bloomed learning that the best gifts come in small boxes. Like you, I may just have a litle time with you, but your gift of friendship is the one I'm thankful for.

3113. As the sky breaks into a beautiful sunrise, may God open the heaven to shower you lots of love, happiness and make your day a truly meaningful one. Good morning.

3114. When I look back on the time we met, I realized what a blessing your existence has been. Though we haven't been spending much time together, I thank God for bringing You into my life. Good morning!

3115. It's an achievement to make a thousand friends in a lifetime. Yet, the real achievement is to keep a friend for a lifetime! Good evening.

3116. Friendship, like marriage, there are ups and downs. You just have to get through it. That's why when you need me, I'll be there, and even if you don't need me, I'll be standing still, waiting for you to be needing me again.

3117. The best love has been found in the world of friendship. It is the kind of love that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more; that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds. And that's what you have given me. And that's what I'd hope to give you now and forevermore. Have a nice morning, dude!

3118. If there's some magic in this world, it must be in the attempt of understanding someone else, sharing something.

3119. Setting someone free is the hardest thing to do, but it's not tears you cried that makes it so hard, it's the small piece of hope left inside your heart that someday, you'll still end up together.

3120. When you look for a job, it shouldn't only the salary to count. We must consider the job, if that's what we want, because there's less chance you'll be efficient if you don't like what you do. Same goes in love, don't push yourself to love somebody only for the sake of having someone in your life. Otherwise, less is the chance you can work it out.

3121. The Lakehouse: What if you waited for your special someone your whole life and later on learn that no one is waiting for you? True love is worth taking chances for. Sometimes, you don't know why things work out, they just do.

3122. Someone said to me, "I love you." I sneezed, then I replied, "Sorry, I'm allergic to talkshits and lies." :)

3123. A relationship between two persons is like a house. When a light bulb burns out, you do not go and buy a new house. You fix the light bulb!

3124. The key to succeeding in marriage is not finding the right person; it's learning to love the person you found. Sustaining love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it takes wisdom. You have to know what to do to make your marriage work. Love in marriage is a decision, not just a feeling.

3125. All relationships have this law: Never make your loved one feel alone while you are there.

3126. Love for someone sometimes doesn't worth fighting for and doesn't worth risking for, only if that someone doesn't really have no feeling of love for you at all.

3127. If a woman were to love again, she'd better pick a bachelor. Because a married man had already found his only one true love - his wife. And the only thing he could give to you is half of what he has. One half is lust and the other half is lies. Who knows you have the wrong half? But either half can do no good to you.

3128. If a married man tells you that he loves you more than his wife, think twice; but if he tells you he loves you and not his wife, better think a hundred times.

3129. You cannot really feel the yearning, the love, even if he tells you once, twice, or a hundred times, if there's no love, there's no really love.

3130. To love someone sometimes is worth taking a few steps backward (maybe even more) especially when it happens that you're not supposed to be there. To give way to the happiness of the person you love the most.

3131. You're driving a car at steady speed. On your left is a drop off and on your right is a fire engine going at same speed you are. In front is a galloping horse the same size as your car so you can't overtake. Behind is a galloping zebra. What must you do to get out of this dangerous situation? Get off the Merry-Go-Round!

3132. When a man brings his wife flowers for no reason, there's a reason!!! :)

3133. A salesman, tired of his job, gave it up to become a policeman. Several months later, a friend asked him how he liked his new role. "Well," he replied, "the pay is good and the hours aren't bad, but what I like best is that the customer is always wrong." :)

3134. Man: How much is the fee for an annulment? Lawyer: P100000. Man: I only paid P1000 when I got married! Lawyer: Freedom, my friend, is always expensive!

3135. Women are more verbal than men. That's why when you see an elderly couple together, it's always the man who's wearing the hearing aid.

3136. Thought of the day: Married men live longer than single men but married men are a lot more willing to die. Nyahaha! :)

3137. Thought of the day: Men are like a deck of cards. You'll find the occasional king, but most are jacks.

3138. It's sad how busy we can get sometimes and forget to keep in touch with each other. But I want you to know that nothing's changed. I still look great!

3139. Ang kaibigan, parang movie! May action, may comedy, may drama, may horror at may love story! Pero kung ikaw ang bida, ahh, alam ko yan. Sure ako, scandal yan! hehehe.

3140. Romantic Acronyms: HOLLAND - Hope Our Love Lasts And Never Dies. ITALY - I Trust And Love You. LIBYA - Love Is Beautiful, You Also. CHINA - Come Here, I Need Affection. INDIA - I Nearly Died In Adoration. KENYA - Keep Everything Nice Yet Arousing. YEMEN - Yugyugan Every Morning, Every Night. JAPAN - Jump And Play All Night. at ang pinakabongga, PHILIPPINES - Pumping Hot I Love It, Please, Please, I Need Erotic Stimulation!

3141. Akala ko, akin na sya. Kasi, sabi nya, mahal nya ako. Kaya akala ko, forever, kami na! Pero nung sinabi nya na ayaw na nya, narealize ko na "Kahit maganda, iniiwan din pala!"

3142. Makabagong katotohanan. Ang mayaman e palit nang palit ng cellphone. Ang medyo mayaman e palit nang palit ng cellphone cover. Ang nagmamayaman naman e palit nang palit ng ringtone!

3143. No matter how strong we hold on, still, there comes a time when we must fall. - Mula sa isang tuko.

3144. Inday: Magpapaalam na po ako. Uuwi na po ako sa probinsya. Ma'am: Nagpaalam ka na ba sa sir mo? Inday: Nauna na po sya. Doon na daw po kami titira. Bye!

3145. Beauty pageant. Judge: What if you found out your boyfriend has AIDS, what will you do? Contestant: I'll still love him. (Everybody claps).. Because AIDS doesn't matter! Hirit pa kasi eh.

3146. Sa panahon na hindi ako nakakapagtext, huwag mong isipin na hindi ako nagtext. Nagtext ako, hindi lang nasend, kasi, wala akong load. Pero nagtext ako!!!

3147. Tatay: Anak, kain na, hinanda ko ang paborito mong ulam. Anak: Talaga, tay? Tatay: Hulaan mo, clue, may chop sa dulo! Anak: Ah, porkchop! Paborito ko nga! Tatay: Ketchop anak!

3148. Minsan, napadaan ako sa harap ng sobrang sweet na lovers. Ayun, nauso ang "break-up".

3149. You know, I know that he will box me that's why you know, I never self-confidence on him and box him back also that why you know it's back to back. - Manny Pacquiao.

3150. Tinatamad ka bang dalawin ang iyong loved ones sa sementeryo? Text DALAW ON at i-send sa 2666. Sila mismo ang dadalaw sa iyo. Text na! Visit my old post for more halloween text messages.


Contributors:

3101-3113, 3118-3123, 3131-3137, 3139-3145, 3147-3149: Asha (+63917898***7)
3114: Naysli
3115, 3138, 3146: Anonymous (+63920801***3)
3116-3117, 3126-3130: Dudai (+63920209***2)
3124-3125, 3150: Eroica

text messages 3051 - 3100

3051. When God gives you one important thing in life, never hold it too tight so when He asks you to give it back, it's easy to let go without hurting so bad.

3052. Sometimes, you have to fight for something to make everything alright. You give your best and you give your all, yet, you still lose. But if ever you get tired, tell Jesus, He'll take the fight and win it all with you!

3053. God's love is a candle in the dark. No matter how gloomy our life may be, just one little touch of His love is enough to bring warmth and light. God bless.

3054. Good things you've done will never be lost, your kind act takes root and every bit of love you show will come right back to you. For God knows you have a good heart. God bless. Good morning!

3055. We may have struggles with God's timing and the mystery of His will in our lives but His promise stands. He will make everything beautiful in His time. Good morning!


3056. If you walk 1000 miles away from God, you will only need one step backward to get to him because He always follows you wherever you go and whatever you do. He still loves you. Good morning!

3057. Jesus will knock on the door of your heart today, looking for a place to stay. The moment you see Him, let Him in, offer Him the best room in your heart.

3058. God's love is the voice when you can't speak, the strength when you are weak, the hope when you are down, and the smile when you are sad. Stay happy!

3059. Sometimes we think we have so little and always wanting But if we start to appreciate the little things in life, we will find out that we have so much. So much of family and friends, so much of love and so much of God in our hearts.

3060. Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves. Do not seek the answers, which cannot be given now; rather, live the questions. All good things come to those who wait. Patience is the companion of wisdom. It is bitter, but its fruit is sweet. God bless.

3061. Sometimes, you need to experience everything so that you would learn. There's no easy way in living life so live it as it is. Cry. Laugh. Be crazy. And don't miss the chances that life is giving you because the most important things are not things at all. Most of the time, they are PEOPLE making your life worth living.

3062. Our envy always lasts longetr than the happiness of those we envy. - Heraclitus.

3063. "Special" is different from "important." Special - someone you'll never forget for the rest of your life. Important - someone you need for the rest of your life.

3064. Specific emotions weaken certain organs in the body. Anger weakens the liver, grief: lungs, worry: stomach, and fear: kidney. So stay happy and healthy!

3065. Thought of the day: A little kindness from person to person is better than a vast love for all humankind.

3066. Life is a rope that swings us through hope. Always believe that today is better than yesterday, and tomorrow will be much better than today. Have a nice week ahead!

3067. Sometimes when you sacrifice something precious, you're not really losing it. You're just passing it on to someone else. - The Five People You Meet In Heaven.

3068. Three reasons why laughing is good for your health: 1. Your heart - laughing lowers your blood pressure while increasing the amount of oxygen carried in your blood. 2. Your lungs - a deep belly laugh is like an internal aerobic workout, helping you breath more efficiently. 3. Your anxiety level - laughing lowers levels of the stress hormone cortisol, reducing tension. So take time to laugh even at the corniest joke!

3069. Unless your heart, your soul and your whole being are behind every decision you make, the words from your mouth will be empty and the actions will be meaningless. Truth and confidence are the roots of happiness. - Kathleen Pederson.

3070. To do good things in the world, first you must know who you are and what gives meaning to your life.- Paula P. Brownlee.

3071. It doesn't interest me if the story you're telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself; if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not to betray your own soul. If you can be faithful and therefore be trustworthy. If you can see beauty even when it's not pretty everyday. If you can source your life from God's presence. If you can live without failure, yours and mine, and still stand on the edge of lake and shout to the silver of full moon, "Yes!" - Oriah Mountain Dreamar, Indian elder.

3072. Better break your word than do wars in keeping it. - Thomas Fuller.

3073. To be loved is to live in someone's heart. Don't hold something in your arms that you are not willing to hold in your heart.

3074. I refused to believe in my instincts when I should have to believe it.

3075. Nobody is a victim, it's probably a self made; and to suffer sometimes is our own choice; the very fruit of our own actions.

3076. Keep your friends close, your enemies closer. - Michael Corleone,"The Godfather II"

3077. Popular opinion is the greatest lie. - Carlisle

3078. A long life may not be enough, but a good life is good enough.

3079. All truth is good, but not all truth is good to say.

3080. Anger is just one letter short from danger.

3081. To handle yourself, use your head. To handle others, use your heart.

3082. Revenge gets you even with your enemy, forgiving him/her puts you above him/her.

3083. Did you know that 92% of what we worry about never really happens? And the 8% left is usually manageable? Worrying is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do but it gets you nowhere. So, don't worry too much, things have a way of working out and what's meant to happen will happen. ;)

3084. I never think of the future - it comes soon enough. - Albert Einstein.

3085. If you're catching two rabbits, you will not catch either one. - Russian proverb.

3086. I don't have sympathy for the boy who cried wolf. Sometimes, liars have to learn the hardest way there is, because lying kills. - Empress.

3087. If there is something better than sharing with others the best of what you have, it is sharing with others the best of who you are. God bless!

3088. Walk this day with great confidence in your heart, for you have much to offer. A lot of people await the goodness and love that you carry within. Good morning and God bless!

3089. Fulfillment doesn't merely mean achieving your highest dream in life, but also living a life that has made the lives of others worth living. Good morning!

3090. Erap dreamed that he died and went to heaven. St. Peter gave him Ai-ai delas Alas as partner, saying, "Kung mabait ka sana, mas maganda ang partner mo." Erap saw Chavit with Gretchen Barretto and said, "Bakit si Chavit, mas madaming kasalanan, si Gretchen ang partner?" St. Peter: Iho, parusa yan kay Gretchen.

3091. "Give strong drink to those who are perishing, wine to those who are in anguish. Let them drink and remember their misery no more." Proverbs 31:6-7. Bible na yung nagsabi! Octoberfest na! :)

3092. Ako ay may lobo, lumipad sa langit, hindi ko na nakita, pumutok na pala, sayang lang pera ko, pambili ng lobo, kung lalaki sana, naaliw pa ako! :)

3093. Wives should be precise in giving orders to their maids. Example: "Inday, alis ako, pakainin mo si kuya mo bago sya pumasok!" Maid: Kuya! Kainin mo daw ako bago mo ipasok!

3094. What's in the number 7? Why is it God's perfect number? When in fact, 7 is an odd number. Just think, there are 7 days in a week, 7 wonders of the world. In the Bible, you must forgive a person 70 times 7. Even the word forgive has 7 letters. The rainbow has 7 colors and 7 letters. Even the word promise. Maybe, God designed it. For even the word mystery has 7 letters. Begin to see all the 7's in life. Use Olay Total Effects to fight the 7 signs of skin aging.

3095. The best rehab center is the vag!na. Lahat ng pumasok, hard headed, brusko, bully at tigasin. Paglabas, nanlalata, nalalambot, humble, with no sign of vengeance! Hehehe.

3096. Mga makabagong kasabihan! 1. Aanhin mo ang gwapo, kung mas malandi pa sa iyo. 2. Walang matinong lalake, sa malanding kumpare. 3. Wala nang hihigit pa sa malansang isda, kundi ang isang baklang balahura. 4. Sa hinaba-haba ng prosisyon, bading din pala ang karelasyon. 5. Ang tumatakbo ng matulin, may gwapong hahabulin! 6. Matalino man ang bading, napeperahan pa rin.

3097. Misis: Pinuyat mo ako kagabi! Mister: Bakit? Misis: Nagsasalita ka sa pagtulog. Puro pangalan ng babae. Lani, Joy, Beth, Samantha, Michelle, Hannah, Charisse, Rosemarie, Vivian... Mister: Paano ka naman napuyat? Misis: Kakahintay sa pangalan ko!

3098. Nagalit si Juan dahil puro Flor ang ipinangalan ng misis nya sa triplets nila. Juan: Paano mo ngayon tatawagin ang mga bata? Misis: Ang dali! First Flor, Second Flor, Third Flor!

3099. Ey guys! Sorry for the short notice, I'm leaving soon. I'm having my despedida party tomorrow, Saturday, 29th of September, 2007, at the hiphop VIP lounge, Embassy, The Fort. I just invited a few friends so your presence will be greatly appreciated. I will be at the VIP lounge by 10pm. I'm really looking forward to see you there because I want to spend my last days here in Manila with you guys! See yah! - Text ni Inday sa mga friends nya kasi magbabakasyon sya sa province.

3100. Man is the highest form of animal. He is made to be above all except God. So, no matter how high EAGLES soar, how FALCONS attack, how BULLDOGS bare, how agressive TIGERS are, how fast TAMARAWS run, they will always succumb to that one GREEN ARCHER, standing with his bow and arrow aimed to fire! What about the WARRIOR? The GREEN ARCHER just made a bull's eye! Animo La Salle!!! - reflection ni Inday sa UAAP Finals. Lasallista kasi ang anak ng amo nya!


Contributors:
3051-3068, 3091-3096: : Asha (+63917898***7)
3069-3075, 3097-3098: Dudai (+63920209***2)
3076-3086, 3099-3100: Eroica
3087-3090: Anonymous (+639208011793)

text messages 3001 - 3050

3001. Little prayers for little things fly heavenwards on little wings, and for all prayers great or small, God is there to read them all. Good night.

3002. We all are soldiers of God. So, when you feel tired, wounded, and weak, don't give up. The battle is at its peak. And in God's lead, we will always find victory.

3003. Heavy rains remind me of challenges in life. Never ask for lighter rain, just a better umbrella. Good day, enjoy life!

3004. Don't believe a word, a promise till it's done right before your eyes. But keep on believing, still a choice.

3005. To die and part is a less evil; but to part and live, there, there is the torment. - George Lansdowne

3006. As long as forever is through, I'll be over you. - Toto.

3007. Who knows what we live, and struggle, and die? Wise men write many books, in words too hard to understand. But this, the purpose of our lives, the end of all struggle,is beyond all human wisdom. - Allan Paton

3008. People takes different roads seeking fulfillment and happiness. Just because they're not on your road doesn't mean they've gotten lost. - H. Jackson Brown.

3009. There is only one way to happiness, and that is to cease worrying things which are beyond the power of will. - Epictecus.

3010. One's philosophy is not best expressed in words, it is expressed in the choices one makes, and the choices we make are ultimately our responsibility. - Eleanor Roosevelt.

3011. Why would I avoid those who hate me? When I could make their lives miserable just by existing. :)

3012. The greatest trick the devil has pulled, is to convince the world that he did not exist. - Keyser Soze

3013. True friends are like mornings, you can't have them the whole day but you can be sure that they'll be there when you wake up tomorrow, next year and forever. Thanks for being one of my beautiful sunrises. ;)

3014. Have you ever thanked friends for their smiles? Their hellos? Their taps on your back? Their way of calling your name? All of the little and simplest form of love? Small things usually go unnoticed, but in reality, they're the ones that keep us going! Thank you!

3015. The miracles in our lives are simply the making of a few loving friends who care much, love for real and see us so much beyond ourselves. Have a good morning!

3016. How are you today? A message from my heart, a place where I keep special people like you. Good morning!

3017. Sometimes, you need to hold a friend's hand, not for love, but for the comfort and security it brings. I got 2 hands and if anything goes wrong, I promise you'll have them both.

3018. It ain't the things you got, it ain't the things you do. It ain't the things you're not, it's because you are you. It ain't about wordly treasure, it ain't about a piece of art, it ain't about anything you can measure, it's about what's in your heart. What is it? It's a friend, tried and true. Dude, that's what I found in you.

3019. Few will have the greatness to bend love stories itself, but each one of us can work to change a portion of our hearts, and in the total of all those acts will be written deep in our souls.

3020. Oftentimes, you use your words to soothe someone else's feelings because you know only that words could shut that someone up even when you know in your heart you don't really mean it.

3021. Love is the only way to grasp another human being in the innermost core of his personality. - Victor Frankel

3022. Don't ever think that I don't miss you, because even when you're near beside me, I just can't get enough of you. So, what do I call it when you are far apart? Feel like dying to see and hold you again.

3023. People say I'm strong because I'm numb to any pain. Actually, it's my special technique. What they don't know is that I had to break my heart a million times just to master it.

3024. If your heart gets broken, it's not a sin to cry, it's not a crime to mourn, but it's not right to ruin your own life. Because in love, you should know when to move on if there's no reason to hold on.

3025. What should really count? Is it the time you find yourself smiling thinking of that person, giggling about the moments you've had with him/her? Or the time you found yourself crying because someone makes you so happy, it melts your heart? It's just simple... be with someone who knows what they have when they have you.

3026. The Law of Science: Nothing is displaced unless it is replaced. Translated into: The Law of Love: You'll fall out of love only if you fall for someone else.

3027. Life depends on the way you think. For example, read this: Mypenisinhermouth. What did you read? My pen is in her mouth. Or did your dirty mind read something else?

3028. A man found a genie who granted him 3 wishes. Genie was told to provide all things he lacked. Genie found that he had no water so he gave him water. Genie saw that he had no money, so he was given a bank. Genie then saw that he had no problem, genie gave him a wife. :)

3029. Men should be like Kleenex, soft, strong and disposable. :) By Cher, Men Are From Mars.

3030. Life is easier if we are not beautiful. But since we are, life is difficult!

3031. To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot even if you don't understand her at all!

3032. Please warn your male friends to be wary of a clever scam in Megamall parking where my friend himself was a victim. Two pretty 19-year old girls will approach you and ask for a ride Once inside the car, they start making love to each other and one will move up and perform oral sex on you while the other steals your wallet. He lost his wallet on Wednesday, Friday and twice this Saturday. He's going to buy more wallets tomorrow. Hehehe.

3033. A 50-year old lady is dying of cancer, asks God to give her 25 years more and God approves. After her successful operation, she gets facelift, lipo, tummytuck at paglabas nya ng hospital, nasagasaan sya! She asks God, "Lord, bakit sabi nyo, bibigyan nyo pa ako ng 25 years para mabuhay?" God: Sorry ha, hindi kita nakilala!

3034. Pinoy coping mechanism at work! A: Magkano po ang tinola? M: 20 lang. A: May sabaw? M: Libre na ang sabaw namin. A: Kanin, meron? M: 5 lang. A: May tutong? M: Libre na. A: Sige manong, tutong at sabaw nga!

3035. Kapag umutot ang Amerikano, "Excuse me." European, "Pardon me." Spanish, "Dispensa amigo." E kapag Filipino? "T*ng ina! Hindi ako yun! Mamatay na ang umutot! Denying ka talaga!"

3036. Pare1: Pre, tagayan mo pa ako. Nag-away kami ni misis eh. Pare2: Ha? Sinong nanalo? Pare1: Sabihin na lang natin na sa huli, nakaluhod syang lumapit sa akin. Pare2: Hahaha! Bossing ka pala. Anong sabi nya? Pare1: Lumabas ka dyan sa ilalim ng kama, duwag!!

3037. Teacher: Iha, talagang ganyan, kapag maganda, karaniwan bobo, kapag matalino, madalas, pangit, dapat matuto kang tanggapin yan. Iha: Salamat po ma'am, ang tali-talino nyo po talaga!

3038. Teacher: What's your name? Pupil: Earlyseven Strikeland po. Teacher: Fil-Am ka ba? Pupil: Hindi po. Yun po ang name ko sa English. Sa Tagalog po, Agapito Hampaslupa!

3039. I got hurt when people say bad things about you, that's why I defend you because I can't bear to see you in pain, so I tell them. Ano ba kayo? Hindi sya yung nasa sex video, mas magaling sya dyan!

3040. Sabi nila, suplada daw ako, makulit at pasaway pa daw. Sabi ko naman sa kanila, get to know me first, tapos kapag nakilala na nyo ako, ehem! Bawal ang mainlove ha! :)

3041. Ano ang nagpasikat kay Erap? Wristband. Ano ang magpapayaman kay Abalos? Broadband. Ano ang magpapabagsak kay GMA? Husband!

3042. DPWH discovered cause of flooding in Metro Manila. It's because the only pumping stations working are in the motels! Barado pa ng condoms yung mga inodoro. Hehehe.

3043. Ang pag-ibig, kahit masakit, masaya rin. Kiss dito, yakap doon. I love you dito, I miss you doon. Pero kapag nakahanap ng iba at iniwanan ka na, magiging Emperador dito, Redhorse doon! Matador dito, San Mig doon! Punyeta dito, tangna doon! Masaya, di ba? Sa huli, para kang tanga na iiyak dito, tapos, suka doon!

3044. What is the similarity between skirt and sky? Answer: Sky covers the whole population and skirt covers the source of population. Hehehe.

3045. Sabi nila, ang buhay ay puno ng pagsubok. Ang sabi ko naman, ah, ok!

3046. Nanay: Anak, bumili ka nga ng asin. Anak: Ayoko po, madilim na, takot ako! Nanay: Huwag kang matakot, kasama mo angel mo! Anak: Eh di sya na lang ang utusan mo, dala-dalawa pa kami!

3047. Namatay si Juan, napuntang impyerno. Satan: Saan mo gusto, 1st door or second door? 1st door, hanggang leeg ang tae. Juan: Ayoko dyan! Satan: Second door, hanggang tuhod ang tae at nagkakape ang mga tao. Juan: Dito na lang ako, may kape pa! (Pumasok) Sumigaw ang bantay na demonyo: "O, balik na sa dating position, tapos na ang coffee break, higa na!"

3048. In 1998, government doctors distributed condoms to Igorots in the Mountain Province for birth control. Kahapon lang, sumulat ang isa, "Pwede na bang tanggalin?!"

3049. I hate how coffee turns into an addiction and how it keeps you up all night. How it burns and makes your heart beat fast. Especially how it makes you crave for its rich and sweet promises of grains, milk and sugar. Moments later, it puts you into melancholic mood of coldness and before you realize, it has consumed you even before you have consumed it. Empty. Hollow. Bitter. Then again, you crave for another cup. Just like love. - Inday, nag-eemote sa Starbucks.

3050. Sir: Inday, wala ang Ma'am mo, dun tayo sa kwarto! Inday: What?! Are you nuts?! For your information sir, I intend to reserve my virginity for the person I truly love. If you think I'm an easy to get cheap slut, well, you're barking at the wrong tree. And will you please act like a professional because you're so eww! If I hear anymore filthy words coming from your mouth, I will not hesitate to take legal action! Sir: Leche, maarte ka! Inday: Joke lang, Sir naman, tara na sa taas! :)

Contributors:
3001-3003, 3013-3016, 3023-3025, 3028, 3036-3049: Asha (+63917898***7)
3004-3010, 3018-3022: Dudai (+63920209***2)
3011-3012, 3026-3027, 3031, 3050: Eroica
3017: Joy (+63910727***1)
3032: Nicely
3033-3034: Anonymous (+63920801***3)
3035: Precious (+88691023***4)