Showing posts with label green jokes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label green jokes. Show all posts

Nov 8, 2008

text messages 3596-3615

3596. A candle is a lovely thing. It makes no noise at all but quietly and unselfishly gives itself away with a flame of kindness…just like you! Good Evening!!!

3597. Life may lead us to different roads, meeting new people and learning new things. But one thing is for sure I will never forget the road where I met you! God Bless! =)

3598. No one in this world can dictate to you where you can be happy. If you know where and what it is…go for it. Just remember: Happiness is not a destiny, it’s a choice. Good Morning!!!

3599. I believe everything happens for a reason. People change so that you learn to let go. Things go wrong so that you learn to appreciate them when they are right. You believe less so eventually you trust no one but yourself. And sometimes, good things fall apart co better things can fall together. – Marlyn Monroe

3600. Never let go of anyone that you couldn’t go a day without thinking about. There just might be a very good reason why they’re always on your mind. Sometimes it’s the brain that knows too well what the heart tries so hard to deny.

Dec 18, 2007

text messages 3151 - 3200

Finally after almost 2 months, an update! Sorry for the temporary hiatus. Just got lazy encoding all these text messages. Will try to update this as often as I can. So busy with my work eh. :) Hope you enjoy these!

3151. To you, I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the loyal opposition. - Woody Allen.

3152. I asked God to give me happiness. God said, "No. I give you blessings. Happiness is up to you." Good morning!

3153. 5 Fingers Of Prayer: 1) Your thumb is nearer to you, so pray for those who are closest to you. 2) Pointing finger: Pray for those who teach, instruct and heal. 3) Tallest finger: Pray for our leaders, they need God's guidance. 4) Ring finger: Weakest finger, so pray for those who are weak, troubled or in pain. 5) Little finger: the smallest - to remind you to pray for yourself. Please forward and share to people you care about.

3154. May God put you on His lap tonight and take all the tiredness and pain brought by the busy day and may You sleep tight under His care. Good night! God bless.

3155. A kind heart is a fountain of gladness, making everyone around brighten into smiles. May God bring back to you all the happiness you've given to others. Take care.

3156. Throw your worries to the wind and let them fly to God. In the end, it is He alone who guides the wind to breeze joy and love back to you! Nice day!

3157. Let the blessings of God flow in your life like springs of living water or rivers that never run dry. God cares for you today, tomorrow and forever.

3158. As memory may be a paradise from which we cannot be driven, it may also be a hell from which we cannot escape.

3159. Be energetic. Never tell yourself, "I am tired." The more you accept that thought, the more exhausted you'll become. Life is a matter of perspective. Either you complain because roses have thorns or you rejoice because thorns have roses. It all depends on how you look at it. God bless!

3160. Some thoughts to ponder: 1. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present. 2. What other people think of you is none of your business. 3. Time heals almost everything in time. 4. No one is in charge of yo happiness except you. 5. Don't compare your life to others, you have no idea what their journey is all about.

3161. We cannot change reality but we can change the eyes that see reality. Let us see the good, the true and the beautiful in life. Have a pleasant night!

3162. A good person is like a lighthouse. It doesn't ring bells and fire guns to call attention to its luminance. It simply shines, just like you.

3163. The turning point in the process of growing up is when you discover the core strength within you that survives all hurt.

3164. A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable but more useful than a life spent doing nothing.

3165. As I started to picture the trees in the storm, the answer began to dawn on me. The trees in the storm don't try to stand up straight and tall and erect. They allow themselves to bend and be blown with the wind. They understand the power of letting go. Those trees and those branches that try to stand up strong and straight are the ones that break. Now is not the time for me to be strong, or, I too, will break.

3166. It is not easy to live life sometimes and face the world with a smile when you're crying inside. It takes a lot of courage to reach down inside yourself, hold on to that strength that's still there and know that tomorrow is a new day with new possibilities. But if you can just hold on long enough to see this through, you'll come out a new person - stronger, with more understanding and with a new pride in yourself, from knowing you made it.

3167. To love is to risk not being loved in return. To hope is to risk pain. To try is to risk failure. But risks must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.

3168. We must learn to let go, to give up, to make room for the things we have prayed for and desired. - Charles Fillmore

3169. It's not how big your sin is. It doesn't matter if you're a thief, a rapist, a murderer, a cheater or a liar. The point is: You committed a sin! Ouch!

3170. We are who we are. People don't change. - Estelle, Great Expectations.

3171. You will make me safe, and you will make me close, and rains will make the flowers grow. - Eponine, Les Miserables.

3172. There are two types of people: Those who come in and say, "Well, here I am." and those who come in and say, "Hey, there you are!" Who are you?

3173. In a relationship, it's not difficult to use your brain over the heart. If you find yourself capable of getting involved with someone because you use your brain, it means one thing, you aren't in love with the person. Because when you love someone, it's almost impossible to control your heart and tell it to let the mind handle the relationship. And the same is also true that when you can't use your brain because the heart rules over, it means that you are definitely, positively in love. So good luck to both your brain and heart.

3174. He slept the summer by my side, he filled my days with endless wonders, he took my childhood in stride, but he was gone when autumn came. - Les Miserables.

3175. If the person you are destined to love is not yours to have, or rather the person you have chosen to love can never be yours, stay away from him. Go on, free him and have him live the way he should be but never stop loving him there inside your heart where only you can have him. Buildings collapse, we die, but true and real love lives forever.



3176. If I have to choose between the one who loves me the most and the one I love the most, I'd rather go for the person who loves me the most because I can learn to love that person as our relationship goes on but I can never teach the person I love the most to love me the way it should. So sad and painful but true, have to willingly admit realities.

3177. The way to find out if you really love someone or not is by talking to them. The more you talk to them, the more you either hate them or love them. - Brad Breitenstein

3178. Love is something far more than the desire for sexual intercourse. It is the principal means of escape from the loneliness which afflicts most men and women throughout the greater part of their lives. - Bertrand Russel

3179. Love was only a myth, I thought, and true love, lasting love, was just a lie told by poets; then you came along unexpectedly to prove I was wrong.

3180. To love someone deeply gives you strength. Being love by someone deeply gives you courage.

3181. I never thought that I could fall in love this way; a way that nobody does.

3182. Confucious says: Choose a woman with small hands. So when she holds your peni$, it will look big!

3183. We all love to spend lots of money buying new clothes but never realized that some of the best moments in life are enjoyed without clothes!

3184. I don't like standard beauty - there is no beauty without strangeness.

3185. What's the difference between small peni$ and big peni$? Answer: Big penis: Ah, ah, ah, ah! Small penis: Ha, ha, ha, ha!

3186. He who laughs last is generally the last one to get the joke. - Terry Cohen

3187. I used to be an atheist but I quit, they don't have holidays!

3188. If you talk to God, they call you religious. If God talks to you, they call you psychotic. - Dr. House.

3189. Can you imagine a world without men? No crimes and lots of happy fat women! - Nicole Hollander

3190. Everything has been figured out, except how to live - Jean Paul Sartre

3191. Man marries mute girl, he says, "We must work out a code. If I want sex, I'll stroke your left breast. Reply by pulling my peni$. Once for YES, and 150 times for NO.'

3192. If you want your dreams to come true, don't oversleep.

3193. It is a scientific fact that 1 out of 3 people is ugly. Look at the person at your left and right. If they are good looking, you're in big trouble!

3194. Woman carrying sick baby boy to doctor. Doctor: Is he bottle fed? Woman: Breast fed doc. (Doc squezees woman's breast.) Doc: That's why he's sick, you don't have milk. Woman: Yaya ako Doc! YAYA!

3195. According to health and science, sex and laughter are good for the heart, except when your partner is laughing at you during sex, that is bad for the heart!

3196. Boy: Mom, why am I black and you are white? Mom: Listen son, considering all the crazy things I did years ago, you should be thankful that you are not barking.

3197. Sometimes, I feel like a cup of coffee. A little bitter, a little sweet, but oh so hot!

3198. I hate liquor and I hate men. To me, they are my enemies! But then again, God said, "Love your enemies." So, what can I do? Disobey God? Amen.

3199. Difference between knowledge and wisdom. Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit and not a vegetable. Wisdom is knowing not to include it in a fruit salad.

3200. Never make the same mistake twice. There are so many new ones to make! Try a different one each day!

Contributors:
3151-3152, 3169-3174, 3186-3190: Eroica
3153-3155, 3158-3162, 3182-3185, 3191-3200: Asha (+63917898***7)
3156: Nicely
3157: Anonymous
3163-3168, 3175-3181: Dudai (+63920209***2)

Oct 17, 2007

text messages 3051 - 3100

3051. When God gives you one important thing in life, never hold it too tight so when He asks you to give it back, it's easy to let go without hurting so bad.

3052. Sometimes, you have to fight for something to make everything alright. You give your best and you give your all, yet, you still lose. But if ever you get tired, tell Jesus, He'll take the fight and win it all with you!

3053. God's love is a candle in the dark. No matter how gloomy our life may be, just one little touch of His love is enough to bring warmth and light. God bless.

3054. Good things you've done will never be lost, your kind act takes root and every bit of love you show will come right back to you. For God knows you have a good heart. God bless. Good morning!

3055. We may have struggles with God's timing and the mystery of His will in our lives but His promise stands. He will make everything beautiful in His time. Good morning!


3056. If you walk 1000 miles away from God, you will only need one step backward to get to him because He always follows you wherever you go and whatever you do. He still loves you. Good morning!

3057. Jesus will knock on the door of your heart today, looking for a place to stay. The moment you see Him, let Him in, offer Him the best room in your heart.

3058. God's love is the voice when you can't speak, the strength when you are weak, the hope when you are down, and the smile when you are sad. Stay happy!

3059. Sometimes we think we have so little and always wanting But if we start to appreciate the little things in life, we will find out that we have so much. So much of family and friends, so much of love and so much of God in our hearts.

3060. Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves. Do not seek the answers, which cannot be given now; rather, live the questions. All good things come to those who wait. Patience is the companion of wisdom. It is bitter, but its fruit is sweet. God bless.

3061. Sometimes, you need to experience everything so that you would learn. There's no easy way in living life so live it as it is. Cry. Laugh. Be crazy. And don't miss the chances that life is giving you because the most important things are not things at all. Most of the time, they are PEOPLE making your life worth living.

3062. Our envy always lasts longetr than the happiness of those we envy. - Heraclitus.

3063. "Special" is different from "important." Special - someone you'll never forget for the rest of your life. Important - someone you need for the rest of your life.

3064. Specific emotions weaken certain organs in the body. Anger weakens the liver, grief: lungs, worry: stomach, and fear: kidney. So stay happy and healthy!

3065. Thought of the day: A little kindness from person to person is better than a vast love for all humankind.

3066. Life is a rope that swings us through hope. Always believe that today is better than yesterday, and tomorrow will be much better than today. Have a nice week ahead!

3067. Sometimes when you sacrifice something precious, you're not really losing it. You're just passing it on to someone else. - The Five People You Meet In Heaven.

3068. Three reasons why laughing is good for your health: 1. Your heart - laughing lowers your blood pressure while increasing the amount of oxygen carried in your blood. 2. Your lungs - a deep belly laugh is like an internal aerobic workout, helping you breath more efficiently. 3. Your anxiety level - laughing lowers levels of the stress hormone cortisol, reducing tension. So take time to laugh even at the corniest joke!

3069. Unless your heart, your soul and your whole being are behind every decision you make, the words from your mouth will be empty and the actions will be meaningless. Truth and confidence are the roots of happiness. - Kathleen Pederson.

3070. To do good things in the world, first you must know who you are and what gives meaning to your life.- Paula P. Brownlee.

3071. It doesn't interest me if the story you're telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself; if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not to betray your own soul. If you can be faithful and therefore be trustworthy. If you can see beauty even when it's not pretty everyday. If you can source your life from God's presence. If you can live without failure, yours and mine, and still stand on the edge of lake and shout to the silver of full moon, "Yes!" - Oriah Mountain Dreamar, Indian elder.

3072. Better break your word than do wars in keeping it. - Thomas Fuller.

3073. To be loved is to live in someone's heart. Don't hold something in your arms that you are not willing to hold in your heart.

3074. I refused to believe in my instincts when I should have to believe it.

3075. Nobody is a victim, it's probably a self made; and to suffer sometimes is our own choice; the very fruit of our own actions.



3076. Keep your friends close, your enemies closer. - Michael Corleone,"The Godfather II"

3077. Popular opinion is the greatest lie. - Carlisle

3078. A long life may not be enough, but a good life is good enough.

3079. All truth is good, but not all truth is good to say.

3080. Anger is just one letter short from danger.

3081. To handle yourself, use your head. To handle others, use your heart.

3082. Revenge gets you even with your enemy, forgiving him/her puts you above him/her.

3083. Did you know that 92% of what we worry about never really happens? And the 8% left is usually manageable? Worrying is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do but it gets you nowhere. So, don't worry too much, things have a way of working out and what's meant to happen will happen. ;)

3084. I never think of the future - it comes soon enough. - Albert Einstein.

3085. If you're catching two rabbits, you will not catch either one. - Russian proverb.

3086. I don't have sympathy for the boy who cried wolf. Sometimes, liars have to learn the hardest way there is, because lying kills. - Empress.

3087. If there is something better than sharing with others the best of what you have, it is sharing with others the best of who you are. God bless!

3088. Walk this day with great confidence in your heart, for you have much to offer. A lot of people await the goodness and love that you carry within. Good morning and God bless!

3089. Fulfillment doesn't merely mean achieving your highest dream in life, but also living a life that has made the lives of others worth living. Good morning!

3090. Erap dreamed that he died and went to heaven. St. Peter gave him Ai-ai delas Alas as partner, saying, "Kung mabait ka sana, mas maganda ang partner mo." Erap saw Chavit with Gretchen Barretto and said, "Bakit si Chavit, mas madaming kasalanan, si Gretchen ang partner?" St. Peter: Iho, parusa yan kay Gretchen.

3091. "Give strong drink to those who are perishing, wine to those who are in anguish. Let them drink and remember their misery no more." Proverbs 31:6-7. Bible na yung nagsabi! Octoberfest na! :)

3092. Ako ay may lobo, lumipad sa langit, hindi ko na nakita, pumutok na pala, sayang lang pera ko, pambili ng lobo, kung lalaki sana, naaliw pa ako! :)

3093. Wives should be precise in giving orders to their maids. Example: "Inday, alis ako, pakainin mo si kuya mo bago sya pumasok!" Maid: Kuya! Kainin mo daw ako bago mo ipasok!

3094. What's in the number 7? Why is it God's perfect number? When in fact, 7 is an odd number. Just think, there are 7 days in a week, 7 wonders of the world. In the Bible, you must forgive a person 70 times 7. Even the word forgive has 7 letters. The rainbow has 7 colors and 7 letters. Even the word promise. Maybe, God designed it. For even the word mystery has 7 letters. Begin to see all the 7's in life. Use Olay Total Effects to fight the 7 signs of skin aging.

3095. The best rehab center is the vag!na. Lahat ng pumasok, hard headed, brusko, bully at tigasin. Paglabas, nanlalata, nalalambot, humble, with no sign of vengeance! Hehehe.

3096. Mga makabagong kasabihan! 1. Aanhin mo ang gwapo, kung mas malandi pa sa iyo. 2. Walang matinong lalake, sa malanding kumpare. 3. Wala nang hihigit pa sa malansang isda, kundi ang isang baklang balahura. 4. Sa hinaba-haba ng prosisyon, bading din pala ang karelasyon. 5. Ang tumatakbo ng matulin, may gwapong hahabulin! 6. Matalino man ang bading, napeperahan pa rin.

3097. Misis: Pinuyat mo ako kagabi! Mister: Bakit? Misis: Nagsasalita ka sa pagtulog. Puro pangalan ng babae. Lani, Joy, Beth, Samantha, Michelle, Hannah, Charisse, Rosemarie, Vivian... Mister: Paano ka naman napuyat? Misis: Kakahintay sa pangalan ko!

3098. Nagalit si Juan dahil puro Flor ang ipinangalan ng misis nya sa triplets nila. Juan: Paano mo ngayon tatawagin ang mga bata? Misis: Ang dali! First Flor, Second Flor, Third Flor!

3099. Ey guys! Sorry for the short notice, I'm leaving soon. I'm having my despedida party tomorrow, Saturday, 29th of September, 2007, at the hiphop VIP lounge, Embassy, The Fort. I just invited a few friends so your presence will be greatly appreciated. I will be at the VIP lounge by 10pm. I'm really looking forward to see you there because I want to spend my last days here in Manila with you guys! See yah! - Text ni Inday sa mga friends nya kasi magbabakasyon sya sa province.

3100. Man is the highest form of animal. He is made to be above all except God. So, no matter how high EAGLES soar, how FALCONS attack, how BULLDOGS bare, how agressive TIGERS are, how fast TAMARAWS run, they will always succumb to that one GREEN ARCHER, standing with his bow and arrow aimed to fire! What about the WARRIOR? The GREEN ARCHER just made a bull's eye! Animo La Salle!!! - reflection ni Inday sa UAAP Finals. Lasallista kasi ang anak ng amo nya!


Contributors:
3051-3068, 3091-3096: : Asha (+63917898***7)
3069-3075, 3097-3098: Dudai (+63920209***2)
3076-3086, 3099-3100: Eroica
3087-3090: Anonymous (+639208011793)

Oct 9, 2007

text messages 3001 - 3050

3001. Little prayers for little things fly heavenwards on little wings, and for all prayers great or small, God is there to read them all. Good night.

3002. We all are soldiers of God. So, when you feel tired, wounded, and weak, don't give up. The battle is at its peak. And in God's lead, we will always find victory.

3003. Heavy rains remind me of challenges in life. Never ask for lighter rain, just a better umbrella. Good day, enjoy life!

3004. Don't believe a word, a promise till it's done right before your eyes. But keep on believing, still a choice.

3005. To die and part is a less evil; but to part and live, there, there is the torment. - George Lansdowne

3006. As long as forever is through, I'll be over you. - Toto.

3007. Who knows what we live, and struggle, and die? Wise men write many books, in words too hard to understand. But this, the purpose of our lives, the end of all struggle,is beyond all human wisdom. - Allan Paton

3008. People takes different roads seeking fulfillment and happiness. Just because they're not on your road doesn't mean they've gotten lost. - H. Jackson Brown.

3009. There is only one way to happiness, and that is to cease worrying things which are beyond the power of will. - Epictecus.

3010. One's philosophy is not best expressed in words, it is expressed in the choices one makes, and the choices we make are ultimately our responsibility. - Eleanor Roosevelt.

3011. Why would I avoid those who hate me? When I could make their lives miserable just by existing. :)

3012. The greatest trick the devil has pulled, is to convince the world that he did not exist. - Keyser Soze

3013. True friends are like mornings, you can't have them the whole day but you can be sure that they'll be there when you wake up tomorrow, next year and forever. Thanks for being one of my beautiful sunrises. ;)

3014. Have you ever thanked friends for their smiles? Their hellos? Their taps on your back? Their way of calling your name? All of the little and simplest form of love? Small things usually go unnoticed, but in reality, they're the ones that keep us going! Thank you!

3015. The miracles in our lives are simply the making of a few loving friends who care much, love for real and see us so much beyond ourselves. Have a good morning!

3016. How are you today? A message from my heart, a place where I keep special people like you. Good morning!

3017. Sometimes, you need to hold a friend's hand, not for love, but for the comfort and security it brings. I got 2 hands and if anything goes wrong, I promise you'll have them both.

3018. It ain't the things you got, it ain't the things you do. It ain't the things you're not, it's because you are you. It ain't about wordly treasure, it ain't about a piece of art, it ain't about anything you can measure, it's about what's in your heart. What is it? It's a friend, tried and true. Dude, that's what I found in you.

3019. Few will have the greatness to bend love stories itself, but each one of us can work to change a portion of our hearts, and in the total of all those acts will be written deep in our souls.

3020. Oftentimes, you use your words to soothe someone else's feelings because you know only that words could shut that someone up even when you know in your heart you don't really mean it.

3021. Love is the only way to grasp another human being in the innermost core of his personality. - Victor Frankel

3022. Don't ever think that I don't miss you, because even when you're near beside me, I just can't get enough of you. So, what do I call it when you are far apart? Feel like dying to see and hold you again.

3023. People say I'm strong because I'm numb to any pain. Actually, it's my special technique. What they don't know is that I had to break my heart a million times just to master it.

3024. If your heart gets broken, it's not a sin to cry, it's not a crime to mourn, but it's not right to ruin your own life. Because in love, you should know when to move on if there's no reason to hold on.

3025. What should really count? Is it the time you find yourself smiling thinking of that person, giggling about the moments you've had with him/her? Or the time you found yourself crying because someone makes you so happy, it melts your heart? It's just simple... be with someone who knows what they have when they have you.



3026. The Law of Science: Nothing is displaced unless it is replaced. Translated into: The Law of Love: You'll fall out of love only if you fall for someone else.

3027. Life depends on the way you think. For example, read this: Mypenisinhermouth. What did you read? My pen is in her mouth. Or did your dirty mind read something else?

3028. A man found a genie who granted him 3 wishes. Genie was told to provide all things he lacked. Genie found that he had no water so he gave him water. Genie saw that he had no money, so he was given a bank. Genie then saw that he had no problem, genie gave him a wife. :)

3029. Men should be like Kleenex, soft, strong and disposable. :) By Cher, Men Are From Mars.

3030. Life is easier if we are not beautiful. But since we are, life is difficult!

3031. To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot even if you don't understand her at all!

3032. Please warn your male friends to be wary of a clever scam in Megamall parking where my friend himself was a victim. Two pretty 19-year old girls will approach you and ask for a ride Once inside the car, they start making love to each other and one will move up and perform oral sex on you while the other steals your wallet. He lost his wallet on Wednesday, Friday and twice this Saturday. He's going to buy more wallets tomorrow. Hehehe.

3033. A 50-year old lady is dying of cancer, asks God to give her 25 years more and God approves. After her successful operation, she gets facelift, lipo, tummytuck at paglabas nya ng hospital, nasagasaan sya! She asks God, "Lord, bakit sabi nyo, bibigyan nyo pa ako ng 25 years para mabuhay?" God: Sorry ha, hindi kita nakilala!

3034. Pinoy coping mechanism at work! A: Magkano po ang tinola? M: 20 lang. A: May sabaw? M: Libre na ang sabaw namin. A: Kanin, meron? M: 5 lang. A: May tutong? M: Libre na. A: Sige manong, tutong at sabaw nga!

3035. Kapag umutot ang Amerikano, "Excuse me." European, "Pardon me." Spanish, "Dispensa amigo." E kapag Filipino? "T*ng ina! Hindi ako yun! Mamatay na ang umutot! Denying ka talaga!"

3036. Pare1: Pre, tagayan mo pa ako. Nag-away kami ni misis eh. Pare2: Ha? Sinong nanalo? Pare1: Sabihin na lang natin na sa huli, nakaluhod syang lumapit sa akin. Pare2: Hahaha! Bossing ka pala. Anong sabi nya? Pare1: Lumabas ka dyan sa ilalim ng kama, duwag!!

3037. Teacher: Iha, talagang ganyan, kapag maganda, karaniwan bobo, kapag matalino, madalas, pangit, dapat matuto kang tanggapin yan. Iha: Salamat po ma'am, ang tali-talino nyo po talaga!

3038. Teacher: What's your name? Pupil: Earlyseven Strikeland po. Teacher: Fil-Am ka ba? Pupil: Hindi po. Yun po ang name ko sa English. Sa Tagalog po, Agapito Hampaslupa!

3039. I got hurt when people say bad things about you, that's why I defend you because I can't bear to see you in pain, so I tell them. Ano ba kayo? Hindi sya yung nasa sex video, mas magaling sya dyan!

3040. Sabi nila, suplada daw ako, makulit at pasaway pa daw. Sabi ko naman sa kanila, get to know me first, tapos kapag nakilala na nyo ako, ehem! Bawal ang mainlove ha! :)

3041. Ano ang nagpasikat kay Erap? Wristband. Ano ang magpapayaman kay Abalos? Broadband. Ano ang magpapabagsak kay GMA? Husband!

3042. DPWH discovered cause of flooding in Metro Manila. It's because the only pumping stations working are in the motels! Barado pa ng condoms yung mga inodoro. Hehehe.

3043. Ang pag-ibig, kahit masakit, masaya rin. Kiss dito, yakap doon. I love you dito, I miss you doon. Pero kapag nakahanap ng iba at iniwanan ka na, magiging Emperador dito, Redhorse doon! Matador dito, San Mig doon! Punyeta dito, tangna doon! Masaya, di ba? Sa huli, para kang tanga na iiyak dito, tapos, suka doon!

3044. What is the similarity between skirt and sky? Answer: Sky covers the whole population and skirt covers the source of population. Hehehe.

3045. Sabi nila, ang buhay ay puno ng pagsubok. Ang sabi ko naman, ah, ok!

3046. Nanay: Anak, bumili ka nga ng asin. Anak: Ayoko po, madilim na, takot ako! Nanay: Huwag kang matakot, kasama mo angel mo! Anak: Eh di sya na lang ang utusan mo, dala-dalawa pa kami!

3047. Namatay si Juan, napuntang impyerno. Satan: Saan mo gusto, 1st door or second door? 1st door, hanggang leeg ang tae. Juan: Ayoko dyan! Satan: Second door, hanggang tuhod ang tae at nagkakape ang mga tao. Juan: Dito na lang ako, may kape pa! (Pumasok) Sumigaw ang bantay na demonyo: "O, balik na sa dating position, tapos na ang coffee break, higa na!"

3048. In 1998, government doctors distributed condoms to Igorots in the Mountain Province for birth control. Kahapon lang, sumulat ang isa, "Pwede na bang tanggalin?!"

3049. I hate how coffee turns into an addiction and how it keeps you up all night. How it burns and makes your heart beat fast. Especially how it makes you crave for its rich and sweet promises of grains, milk and sugar. Moments later, it puts you into melancholic mood of coldness and before you realize, it has consumed you even before you have consumed it. Empty. Hollow. Bitter. Then again, you crave for another cup. Just like love. - Inday, nag-eemote sa Starbucks.

3050. Sir: Inday, wala ang Ma'am mo, dun tayo sa kwarto! Inday: What?! Are you nuts?! For your information sir, I intend to reserve my virginity for the person I truly love. If you think I'm an easy to get cheap slut, well, you're barking at the wrong tree. And will you please act like a professional because you're so eww! If I hear anymore filthy words coming from your mouth, I will not hesitate to take legal action! Sir: Leche, maarte ka! Inday: Joke lang, Sir naman, tara na sa taas! :)

Contributors:
3001-3003, 3013-3016, 3023-3025, 3028, 3036-3049: Asha (+63917898***7)
3004-3010, 3018-3022: Dudai (+63920209***2)
3011-3012, 3026-3027, 3031, 3050: Eroica
3017: Joy (+63910727***1)
3032: Nicely
3033-3034: Anonymous (+63920801***3)
3035: Precious (+88691023***4)

Sep 18, 2007

text messages 2901 - 2950

2901. The verse "Don't be afraid" appears 365 times in the Bible. Enough assurance that for each day of the year, we can trust God to face everything with Him.

2902. The God we met in good times is the same God we meet in hard times. May the Lord refresh us and give us strength as we face new challenges everyday. Good night!

2903. You are a blessed person with an important role to play in life and God is watching over you with love and concern. Be the best you can be for God's purpose. Good day!

2904. Lord, grant me the vision to see Your plans for the world. Continue to pour out Your blessings. For in everything we do, we shall praise You. Amen.

2905. Life can be happier and less stressful if we remember one simple thought: We can't have all that we desire but GOd will give us all that we deserve.


2906. Little things we give away surely comes back to us some other day, coz God never forget to give rewards to those who share their unselfish hearts. God bless you.

2907. If there is one mistake in your whole lifetime that you can tolerate, it is when you are kind even to those who are undeserving.

2908. Eternity, without it, yesterday is forgotten. Today is taken for granted and tomorrow will never come.

2909. If you are so much focused with what's left behind, you might not be able to see what lies ahead. - Chef Gusteau, Ratatouille.

2910. A good test of character: When you've done something wrong, accept/admit it and be sorry. No one has ever choked to death from swallowing his/her pride.

2911. Just think of happy things and your heart will fly on wings forever! - Peter Pan.

2912. Life will never be better without you, you're not just an ordinary friend, have seen a lot of them but nothing compares to what we have had, that's why I'm keeping you forever in my heart, today though too complicated, way beyond, for all I know, everything is temporary but I'm hanging around with you of my todays. You'll always be my bestfriend, Dude, that's forever and I mean it.

2913. Years from now, I don't know who I'm gonna be, where' I'll be in my life and what I have by then. But one thing would be certain, that you'll still be my friend wherever I'll be.

2914. Friendship is always a promise kept in the heart so when everything is unclear, just remember three things: I'm here, still here, with or without beer. :)

2915. I wish you the best of ber starting today. Bery healthy, bery happy, bery rich, bery well loved, bery kind, and most of all bery young looking always! Bery many blessings to you!

2916. Question: When is the best time to tell someone you love him/her? Answer: Before somebody else does.

2917. It's a mistery why people still fall in love after a heartbreak and risk getting rejected and hurt all over again. I guess it's the dream of finding true love or simply because life is happier when you're in love.

2918. You are part of the puzzle of someone else's life. You may never know where you fit, but others will fill the holes in their lives with pieces of you. So if you run out of reasons to live, remember that someone else's life may never be complete without you in it.

2919. One should always be in love, that's the reason one should never marry. - Ambrose Bierce

2920. The best love is the kind that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more, that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds. And that's what you've given me. That's what I'd hope to give you forever. - Noah, The Notebook.

2921. Life's questions: How old are you before it can be said you died of old age? Why did Sally sell seashells on the seashore when you can just pick them up anyway? In libraries, do they put the bible in the fiction or non-fiction section? Do bald men wash their head with soap or shampoo? Why are red buttons always the most important? Why is it when you're sleeping it's called a drool but when you're awake it's called a spit? Could someone be addicted to counseling, if so, how would you treat them? Why when people ask you, "What 3 things would you bring with you on a desert island?", no one ever replies, "A boat." Why are elderly people often called "old people" but children are never called "new people"?

2922. Doctor: Your sex operation is a success, you now have your pussy. Gay: Thanks doc! Doctor: Oh, here is you dick, since you're so ugly you will need it to f*ck yourself.

2923. Thought of the day: A friend never gets in your way unless you happen to be going down.

2924. Great signs! 1. Gynecologist - Dr. Chua at your cervix. 2. Septic tank truck - Yesterday's meals on wheels. 3. Plumber's office - We repair what your husband fixed. 4. Tire shop - Invite us to your next blowout. 5. Electrical shop - Let us remove your shorts. 6. Maternity room door - Push, push, push! 7. Optometrist's clinic - If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place.

2925. Telling a lie is a fault for a little boy, an art for a lover, an accomplishment for a bachelor, and a matter of survival for a married man.



2926. A man's wife lost interest in sex. Doctor gave him pills to give to his wife. He drops one in wife's coffee and takes one also. After 10 minutes: Wife: I need a man! Man: Me too!

2927. A man applying as security guard was interviewed: "What we ned is a person with suspicious mind, high alert, insistent, unusual sense of hearing and with killer instinct. Do you think you are qualified?" "I'm afraid not. But could I ask my wife to apply?"

2928. Businessman explaining the reason for having two or more wives: "Monopoly is always damaging while competitions improve service!"

2929. May mga taong hindi mo maintindihan. Akala mo, makulit, mabait pala. Akala mo, wala lang, caring pala. Akala mo rude, sweet pala. Mukhang ikaw, no? Pero ako pala. Hehehe.

2930. Mahirap maging perfect sa taong love mo! Nagbago ka dahil sa kanya, nagpakababa ka dahil din sa kanya, pero ang masakit, perfect ka na, iniwan ka pa!!!

2931. Man: Doctor, bakit dinugo sa first night ang asawa ko e dating GRO yan. (Ineksamin ng doktor ang misis) Doc: Wala po kayong dapat ikabahala, natuklap lang po ang kalyo!

2932. Receptionist: Pasok na sir, maraming bago ngayon, mga bata at sexy! Customer: Gusto ko, yung mature na at mataba. Receptionist: Uy, si sir, homesick na!

2933. The bear and the two men. Two men were walking in a forest when they saw a bear. One immediately ran and climbed up a tree. The second man was slow and was left behind. So, the second man pretended to be dead. The bear then came, walked around him and smelled his head. Then the bear went away. When the bear was gone, his friend came down the tree and asked, "What did the bear tell you?" He said, "Don't trust someone who leaves you in time of need or trouble." Hanep! Nagsasalita yung bear!

2934. Hindi ko alam kung anong papel ko sa buhay mo, sa pagkatao mo, o sa puso mo! Meron man o wala, gusto ko lang malaman mo, hindi ako papel, kokomban! kokombaaannn!!

2935. Pare, may dalaga dito sa amin, gustong magwork sa Japan. Pinahiram ko na nga ng pera, sinampal pa ako. Para sinabi ko lang naman na, "Ibalik mo sa akin yan kapag maluwag ka na ha!"

2936. Kung doktor ka, paano mo sasabihin sa pasyente mo na hindi na magtatagal ang buhay nya? Ganito... Makulay! Makulay! Ang buhay! Ang buhay! Makulay ang buhay sa kabilang buhay!

2937. Good morning! A cute greeting from a cute sender. Have a bright morning, cute receiver! Yan ah, patas! =)

2938. Boy: Hayop ka! Hirap na hirap akong nagtatrabaho sa sakahan mo pero sahod ko, hindi tumaas! Kung mamatay ako, sinong magpapakain sa pamilya ko, ikaw? Amo: Inglisin mo para taasan ko sahod mo! Boy: Animal you! Poor poor me to job in your farm but my salary did not climb! If I die, who will eat my family, you?

2939. DTI Inspector: Yung mga ibinebenta nyo raw na toys na made in China, marami daw lead sa pintura nito. Akong: Oo, malami led, pelo melon din silang glins at olens!

2940. Hawakan, salatin, ipasok ang daliri, hanggang 3 pwede, depende sa laki ng butas. Ipasok hanggang ilalim, haplusin pati puwet. Yan ang tamang paghugas ng baso.

2941. Minsan, sa buhay, may gusto tayong hanapin. Tagumpay? Pag-ibig? Kaibigan? Saya? Pero naisip mo ba? Ang nais mong makita sa umaga, pustahan? Ano? Cellphone, di ba? :)

2942. Try this. Mag-isip ka ng dalawang number, from 1 to 100. Huwag mo munang scroll down, ha! Tapos na? Ok, thanks! Good night! (Nagpapaantok lang!)

2943. Today's lesson: Kapag nadulas ka sa harap ng crush mo. The best palusot: "See how I fall for you?" Yun yun! Yun ang tinatawag na poise under pressure!

2944. Tahimik na nakatitig si Inday sa bote ng juice. Dahil nakasulat... Concentrate! Toink!

2945. Ederlyn: Ikaw ba ang Inday na sinasabi nila? At sino ka para itulad sa akin ang iyong kasikatan ngayong ako'y nananahimik na? Wala kang karapatan para pantayan ako! Hayop ka! Inday: My apologies, but the fact is your glory days are over my friend. I find it somewhat ridiculous, your persistence on persuading people to come to your party that never existed is beginning to get into my nerves!Damn you Ederlyn! Damn you! No one undermines Inday's intellect, b*tch! *Evil laugh* - Nag-away na sina Ederlyn at Inday.

2946. 500 ~ GLobe Plan subscription. 1800 ~ Glutathione tablet. 600 ~ Olay Total Effects. 1500 ~ Crocs flip flops. 2000 ~ For Mama. Budget in Inday sa sweldo nya. Ganda nya, noh?

2947. "Je suis triste et solitaire." (I'm sad and lonely) - Instant messaging ni Inday sa kanyang French boyfriend na one month nang hindi sumasagot sa YM at emails nya. Nakakaloka!

2948. 1. Fendi handbag. 2. Balenciaga sandals. 3. Manolo Blanich hi-heels. 4. Chanel furcoat. 5. iPod Video. 6. Motorola Razr, Dolce and Gabbana edition. 7. Sony flatscreen plasma tv. 8. Aquamarine diamond watch. 9. Louis Vuitton bag. 10. Obagi system skin care line. - Wish list ni Inday for Christmas (nakadikit sa ref ng amo nya!)

2949. I'm not extremely good looking but I have a sense of humor. I'm not breathtakingly intelligent but I'm relatively witty. I'm not insanely rich but I'm fairly kind. I'm just a simple guy with a crazy elusive ambition of meeting your acquiantance. So, hi! =) - Dodong, nakikipagtextmate kay Inday.

2950. Mere exchange of messages through these minute digital devices cannot fully express my overwhelming gratitude for getting to know such a dynamic person like you. Hopefully, one day, we can personally meet and find out that we are true individuals not hiding in this virtual facade that we call text messaging. Thanks for being my textmate. - Inday, reply nya kay Dodong!

Contributors:
2901-2908, 2913-2917, 2922-2940, 2948-2950: Asha (+63917898***7)
2909-2910, 2918-2921, 2941-2947: Eroica
2911-2912: Dudai (+63920209***2)

Sep 4, 2007

text messages 2851 - 2900

2851. A life filled with love must have some thorns, but a life empty of love will never have roses.

2852. Do not ask the Lord to guide your steps if you are not willing to move your feet.

2853. Those who gaze at giants live like grasshoppers; those who gaze at God live like giants. God bless.

2854. Measuring life by what others do to you may disappoint you. But measuring life by what you do for others will add more meaning to your life. Good morning!

2855. In life, if you are intelligent, you are admired. If you are prominent, you are envied. If you are powerful, you are feared. But if you are blessed with a good heart, you are remembered. God bless!

2856. When people accuse us of lying, don't get too affected because we know we never lie, we just don't tell them everything.

2857. Blessings are not something we have to ask for, they are already there, all we have to do is count them and thank the Giver everyday. Good night!

2858. Smile increases value of face. Anger spoils beauty of soul. Faith is force of life. Confidence is companion of success. So, keep smiling, cute child of God. Take care always!

2859. Be grateful that you don't have everything you want. That means you have the opportunity to be happier tomorrow than you are today. Sleep sweetly. Good night!

2860. What you don't know will not hurt you, it's what you suspect that f*cks everything up!

2861. Never let the things you want make you forget the things you already have.

2862. A jewel of a friend is like a simple calculator. Someone who adds confort, subtracts fear, divides blessings and multiplies joy. Take care and God bless.

2863. True friends always stand behind you during your bad times. Check your marriage album. All your friends were standing right behind you!

2864. People are amazing when they are nice, they are wonderful when they are true. But do you know that they are a blessing when they are like you?! Good morning!

2865. To boys from cupid: Never leave the girl that destiny picked for you. Truly, distance makes the heart grow fonder but too much will instead make you wander. Always make your presence felt for all she needs is emotional assurance. There is one girl who is meant to catch my arrow for you and nothing can change that, not time nor circumstance.

2866. To girls from cupid: A man's heart is as fragile as a butterfly's wing. Never hold it too tightly for in time, he will rest right on the palm of your hands.

2867. A man will try to seduce every girl except the one he loves, but a nice girl will not be seduced by any man except the man she loves.

2868. Half my life is over and I have nothing to show for it. Nothing. I'm a thumbprint on the window of a skyscraper. I'm a smudge of excrement on a tissue surging out to sea with a million tons of raw sewage. - from the movie Sideways.

2869. Don't make fun of girls around my eyes for it echoes toward my ears; and that my mind narrows on that state; for my imagination can ruin everything; I mean everything!

2870. Teacher: You've been absent with the same excuse. Your lolo died 4 times in 4 months! Now, what is your excuse? Student: My lola is getting married to my 5th lolo!

2871. Quote of the day: For every girl with a broken heart, there's always a boy with a scotch tape.

2872. Love can move all mountains. Love can clean dark gray clouds in the sky. Love can give colors where there are none. And love can remove all underwear! Hehehe.

2873. Mr1: Whenever my wife needs money, she calls me "handsome." Mr2: Really? Mr1: Yes, "Hand some money over!"

2874. Pregnant stewardess applied for leave of absence. Boss: Why? Stewardess: It's sort of an accident. Boss: Was it job related? Stewardess: Yes, Pilot-error.

2875. Definition of wife: Someone who'll stand by you through all the troubles which you wouldn't have had if you had stayed single.



2876. Did you hear about the new type of Viagra, Viagra Lite? It's for people who only want to masturbate! Hehehe.

2877. Hindi ko hinihiling na manatili ka sa akin habang buhay. Manatili ka hangga't gusto mo, walang bakit, walang paano, walang pero, walang pangako. Basta manatili ka, masaya na ako!

2878. Kapag dumating ang araw na naramdaman mong dalawa ang mahal mo, huwag ka nang mamili pa. Doon ka na lang sa pangalawa. Bakit? Kasi, hindi ka naman magmamahal ng iba kung talagang mahal mo yung una eh.

2879. Mahilig ako sa music. Ganda sa pakiramdam, nakakagaan ng problema, nakakapagpalakas ng loob. Pero alam mo kung bakit gustong gusto ko ito? Kasi naalala kita. Sa akin kasi, isa ka sa pinakamagandang kanta.

2880. Let us see if I can still recall the alphabet. A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T V W X Y Z. Ooops! I miss U!

2881. Valer kuberch, kahit jutay, ang julamantrax donchi ay anek-anek. Nyongkamas at nutring, nyogarilyas at kipay, nyitaw, nyotaw, jutani. Kundol, jutola, jupot, jolabastrax, at mega join-join pa, jobanox nyustasa, nyubuyax, nyomatis, nyowang at luyax, and around the keme ay fullness ng linga! - Bahay Kubo, Gay version.

2882. Girl: Itay, nagbold po ako sa magazine. Tingnan nyo po ang picture ko sa page 10. Itay: Anak! Sa palagay mo ba, may mas nakakahiya pa dito?! Girl: Meron pa po itay! Tingnan nyo sa page 16, si Inay!

2883. Bob: Nakakamagkano ka sa isang araw? Pulubi: 200 na ang pinakamababa. Bob: Hindi na rin masama, no? Anong mabibili mo nyan? Pulubi: Pwede na ito sa isang caramel frap cream-based venti tsaka isang cinnamon swirl sa Starbucks.

2884. The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits. - Albert Einstein.

2885. The word "woman" has "man" in it. The pronoun "mrs" has "mr" in it. The noun "female" has "male" in it. Another pronoun "she" has "he" in it. Even the French "madam" has "adam" in it. It is therefore no wonder nga, under ang mga lalake sa mga babae! Wahaha!

2886. Do you know why they made beer taste bitter? So one would take time to drink, more time to talk. It's the time spent together, not the beer! Kaya masarap mag-inuman!

2887. May isang pari, nag-illegal parking. Nag-iwan sya ng note sa car: "Pari ako. Walang maparkingan. Please, huwag mo akong tiketan. Forgive my trespasses." Pagbalik nya, may ticket at note sa car nya: "Pulis ako. Kung hindi kita titiketan, magkakasala ako. Lead me not into temptation. Pero kung mag-iipit ka ng pera sa lisensya mo, baka pwede na. Give us this day our daily bread."

2888. Mom with her son saw a man walking. Son: Ma, tingnan mo sya, sakang! Hahaha! Mom scolded her son and decided he needed to change his manners and choice of words. She enrolled him in a Shakespeare's class. When they saw the man again: Son: Hark! What manner of men are this, who weareth their legs in parenthesis?!

2889. Kadalasan, ibinabase ng mga girls sa hitsura kung mamahalin ang isang guy. Pero hindi dapat ganun! Hindi naman sa mukha nakikita yun eh. Kundi sa loob. Sa loob ng brief! Yun yun eh! Hahaha!

2890. Ano ang tawag sa taong walang baga? Wala lung! Nyahahaha! Corny!

2891. No classes/work until Friday. Two super typhoon are expected to hit the country tomorrow. - PAGASA ng mga tinatamad! Hehehe. Pass it!

2892. Question: Bakit laging present tense ang "I can think?" Answer: Kasi, kung "I can thought," bastos ang dating, di ba?

2893. Ito, sure na malupit. Guy: Miss, ipinaglihi ka ba sa inodoro? Gal: Bakit? Guy: Kasi, ako, ipinaglihi sa tae. Nung nakita kita, hindi ko mapigilang mahulog!!!

2894. Babae at lalaki, nagkasalubong, matagal nagkatitigan. Babae: Bakit mo ako tinititigan? Ano ang iniisip mo sa akin? Lalake: Katulad din ng iniisip mo sa akin. Babae: Bastos! =)

2895. Apo ni Erap: Lolo, may assignment kami, find the least common denominator daw. Erap: Ha? Nung elementary ako, assignment na namin yan! Hindi pa ba yan nahahanap?!

2896. Sometimes, people choose to leave not because of selfish reasons, but because they just know that things will get worse if they will stay. Leaving can be a tough act, and it's harder when people can hardly understand you for doing so. - Comment ni Inday sa pag-alis ni Angel Locsin sa GMA 7.

2897. Amo: Inday, bumili ka nga ng mga isda. Ay, oo nga pala, inglesera ka na ngayon. Would you please buy many fishes for this week's meals? Inday: Judging by your statement, I believe you meant a variety of fish. The term "fishes" although rarely used, connotes a plethora of different kinds of the said gilled aquatic creatures. But the more pressing questions before I go to the wet market would be: what type of fish? Fillet or not? Lufet!

2898. Amo: Inday! Bakit may bukol si Junior? Inday: Compromising safety with useless aesthetics, the not-so-well engineered architectural design of our kitchen lavatory inexorably affected the boy’s cranium with a slight boil at the left temple lobe near the auditory organ. Amo: (nosebleed!)

2899. Slap the face of that crazy bitch! You must show to her that regardless of the class we belong in the society, respect should not be put at risk! Angelika is nothing but an opportunist, heartless devila! I damn hate her! Duh! - Inday, watching Marimar.

2900. Love - a wildly misunderstood although highly desirable malfunction of the heart that weakens the brain, causes the eyes to sparkle, cheeks to glow, blood pressure to rise and the lips to pucker! - Inday, gumagawa ng blog nya sa Friendster! Taray talaga!

Contributors:
2851-2858, 2863-2866, 2870-2876, 2885-2897: Asha (+63917898***7)
2859-2861, 2878, 2881-2884, 2898-2900: Eroica
2862: Anonymous (+63920801***3)
2867: Starfish
2868: Anonymous (+63917627***7)
2869: Anonymous (+63920209***2)
2877: Anonymous (+63920240***0)
2879-2880: Anonymous (+63919615***4)

Aug 15, 2007

text messages 2751 - 2800

2751. Life's a little ironic. We all want things to change, but once they do, we wonder why things can't go back to the way they were.

2752. Something more to think about: If price and worth have basically the same meaning, then why are priceless and worthless totally opposite?

2753. Sometimes, you just have to try not to care no matter how much you do because sometimes you can mean nothing to someone who means everything to you. It's not pride. It's called self-respect.

2754. Sadness is self-inflicted. You need not bother too much about every crappy, shitty occurrences around you. But then again, you tend to get yourself involved. Happiness is self-induced just the same. As they say, it's just a matter of perspective. So, while you still have the chance to shape your day's mood, choose: would you rather be sad or happy? Life is good. Life is bad. You decide.

2755. You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, some time in your life. - Winston Churchill.

2756. Bread cast on water comes back to you. The good deed you do today may benefit you or your loved ones at the least expected time. If you never see the deed again, at least, you have made the world a better place. Isn't that what's life is all about?

2757. It can be cute when people who have a lot in common date each other. But isn't it more fun to date someone you can argue with? And then, in the end, agree to disagree then hold each other tight? I mean, really, why would you want to date yourself?

2758. The leaves of trees just keep falling. Lesson? You can't always keep someone to yourself forever. Sometimes, you have to let go. Yet, you have to remain standing like trees do.

2759. It's hard to assume your position on somebody's life. You might be expecting too much. Something far from reality. So learn to weigh the situation, know your stand and keep things in balance. Because the hardest to deal with is failure, and the hardest to endure is pain.

2760. As they say in Tibet: "If a problem can be solved, then there's no need to worry. If a problem can't be solved, then, what's the use of worrying?"

2761. Stupidity: Giving up a fight knowing you had a chance to win. Love: Fighting though you knew from the very start that you'll never win. Or is it the other way around??

2762. When things seem too good to be true, it's because of one thing; it's about to break your heart.

2763. It's so stupid to think about him almost every minute of everyday when in fact he never thought of me because he's busy with his own life. Swak! Tagos! Aray! Ouch ba?

2764. Sometimes, we get too possesive with something or someone we don't even own. It's a side effect of loving too much and receiving too little. Sad but true, huh?!

2765. Sometimes, you have to run away, not just to create distance, but to see who cares enough to run behind and pull you back.

2766. It's really hard when you know inside your heart that you love the person but you run out of reasons to fight for what you feel and believe in.

2767. The hardest part in walking away from the one you love is the part that you realize that they will never ever run after you.

2768. Ironic truth: The one who is good in taking care of other people is the same person who needs someone to take care of them.

2769. If you didn't do anything wrong, you wouldn't mind telling the truth! - Bon Apres Midi!

2770. The greatest revenge to a girl who steals your man is to let her have him, because a truly good man can never be stolen, right?

2771. God's guidance is like a flashlight in a dungeon. It doesn't shine on all corners at once, but gives out just enough light for the next step. Good morning!

2772. Life may not be what you planned. Frustrations are hard to understand but God reigns up above in control of everything. Good night!

2773. Live life one day at a time, share it with people who matter most to you. For life is a little jar of memories and experiences so fill it with love and happiness.

2774. Did you know that the darkest time of the day is the minute before sunrise? So when you feel that you're at the darkest moment in your life, remember that sunrise is just a minute away. God bless.

2775. When you find love, treasure it, take care of it. Be true to it. Make good use of it. Because love comes unseen. You can only see it when it's gone.



2776. Prayer is a perfume to our soul and a fragrance that pleases God. Wear your prayer everyday and let it freshen you, anytime, anywhere you go. Good night!

2777. A good person is never alone. One who sows thoughtfulness reaps friendship. One who plants kindness reaps love. Enjoy the fruits you've sown well. Good morning!

2778. For the ladies: You have to be very fond of men. Very, very fond. You have to be very fond of them to love them. Otherwise, they are simply unbearable. Hahaha!

2779. Don't pray to be sheltered from problems. But pray to be fearless in facing them. Don't be afraid of pain. But ask for a heart that conquers it!

2780. You never truly love a person unless the mere thought of you hurting your loved one is enough to break you own heart.

2781. When you love, it's not for you to be understood but for you to understand. Not for you to take but for you to be taken. To listen, not to dictate. To sacrifice and not to demand. Not to count or measure but to love.

2782. Life is a song we play each day. Every mistake we make in life puts the song out of tune, but keep on trying. One day, every melody will come to its tune. Good evening!

2783. May the Lord give you a heart free from sadness, a mind free from worries, a life free from hatred and a body free from illness. Happy weekend!

2784. Christ is a good bowler. If he doesn't strike you, he will surely spare you. He's always ready to give you a break. But never will he ever roll you over to the canal. Good night!

2785. Mornings are wonderful blessings. Either stormy or shiny, they stand for hope and give us another start of what we call 'life'. Enjoy your day!

2786. Our eyes are placed in front because it's more important to look ahead than to look back. Don't dwell on things past, learn from them and keep moving forward.

2787. It hurts to know that we've fallen for someone who would just leave us hanging. Why? Because we sometimes close our eyes from the reality that they never really loved us, they just cared.

2788. Let us cherish the moment when we are empty but happy, tired but inspired, down but smiling, and feeling lost but living for a cause. Life is a gift! Good day!

2789. Why was white chocolate invented? So little black kids could have dirty faces too.

2790. You are aging when the candles on your birthday cake are enough to burn down your house, when your joints are as creaky as a rundown door, when your hairline starts to recede and your waistline starts to expand, when you can live without sex but not without your eyeglasses, when your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.

2791. A change in the weather patterns might have occured causing havoc to affected surroundings, the way debris are scattered indicated that the gust of wind is going northeast, causing damage to the path it is going. - Sagot ni Inday sa amo nung tinanong kung bakit nagkalat ang basura sa likod ng bahay.

2792. You can be a doctor and save lives, a lawyer and defend lives, a soldier and protect lives or simply be yourself, horny and create lives. Hahaha!

2793. GF: Baby, spell mo nga yung empty. Bobong BF: Uhmm, hindi ko alam eh. Try ko. Dobol u, ay, ti, eych, ow, yu, ti, way, ow, yu? GF: How sweet!! Getz mo??

2794. Some people say they can't live without love. Well, oxygen's more important. - Dr Gregory House. So, kung wala kang lovelife, inhale-exhale ka na lang!

2795. Amo: Inday, kunin mo nga yung Vogue magazine. Inday: Ma'am, Vogyu, hindi Vog. Amo: Inday, Vog ang tamang pagbigkas. Inday: O sige na nga Ma'am, Vog na, there's no need to arg!

2796. Hi! Sorry to disturb you. Tulog ka na ba? Sorry kung nagising kita. Sige, matulog ka na ulit. Pero kung gising ka pa, may tanong lang ako. Bakit hindi ka pa tulog? Siguro, gising ka pa. Tulog na!

2797. Try mo ito! 1. Punta ka sa reply. 2. Type your name tapos space. 3. I-dictionary ON mo. 4. Then press 22667625. Ayos ito! You'll be touched. Send this to your close friends! Gandang tanghale!

2798. Positive thinking Pinoy: Pare1: Pre, pautang muna ng 5 kg bigas at 3 sardinas. Bayaran ko kaagad pagdating ni misis galing US. Pare2: Sige, ito. Kelan ba ang uwi ni mare? Pare1: Nag-aapply pa lang. Pero malaki daw ang pag-asa. Yan ang Pinoy!

2799. Tatlong uri ng boobs. Age 18-29. Tila Poncan, bilog at mabango. Age 30-44, like mangoes, nakabitin ng konti at makatas. Age 50 and up. Tila sibuyas! Bakit? Nakakaiyak tingnan!

2800. May batang lumapit sa akin. Sabi nya: Gusto mo ng balde? Nagtaka naman ako dahil hindi naman ako nag-iigib ng tubig at kanyang winika: Umaapaw kasi ang kadyosahan mo eh!

Contributors:
2751-2770, 2792: Eroica
2771-2791, 2799-2800: Asha (+63917898***7)
2793: Jamie
2794-2795: Anonymous (+63920240***0)
2796-2797: Anonymous (+63919615***4)
2798: Anonymous (+63920801***3)

Aug 3, 2007

text messages 2701 - 2750

2701. A blessed life is not being famous or wealthy; but one that faces trials and troubles but never loses sight of God's loving presence! Have a nice day!

2702. We wake up each morning feeling happy, healthy and at peace, knowing that these are blessings more precious than wealth. May God's abundant blessings be to you today!

2703. Jesus is like a software. He 'enters' your life, 'scans' your problems, 'edits' your tension, 'downloads' solutions, 'deletes' your worries and 'saves' you. God bless.

2704. Mornings are beautiful signs of hope. It was created by God to let us know that life doesn't end after the sunset. Every dawn is a new life! Have a wonderful day!

2705. May the Lord give you a fresh supply of strength to do your tasks, anoint your works, bless your plans so that even your smallest accomplishments will glorify God. Good morning!

2706. Through the cracks of brokenness in our lives, God allows us to see that only with Him and in Him is our real security and abiding strength! God bless!

2707. God often strips us of everything, so that when we have nothing, we have Him, and when we have Him, we have everything! God bless!

2708. In life, there are four things you can't get back. The stone, after the throw. The word, after it is said. The action, after it is done, and the time, after it has passed. So be careful of what you throw, of what you speak, of what you do and of what you let pass by. Take care!

2709. Every sunset gives us one day less to live, but every sunrise gives us one day more to hope. Let us hope for the best today and always. Have a blessed day!

2710. A big jar of water gets emptied by just a small hole. Even a little anger and pride will drain all the nobility of a good heart. May God's love inspire us!

2711. Look at babies sleeping - it makes you realize how fragile life is. Look at a shooting star blazing - it makes you realize how temporary life is. Look at the sun rising - it makes you realize how beautiful life is. Look at a person dying - it makes you realize how important life is. Life is beautiful in its fragility, transcience and importance. So, let's live life to the fullest. Laugh, love and be grateful! Life's wonderful. Let's enjoy its wonders!

2712. We can never be happy with something that was wrong. But if somewhere along the way, what was wrong made us happy, then it must have been right all along!

2713. Still bothered by what happened yesterday? Sit down and relax. Gather yourself. No matter how bad yesterday was, it now belongs to the past. Don't let it worry you or stop you from pursuing many possibilities of today. Today is a gift you can unwrap and share with all that's why it is called present. Keep going!

2714. If you think the world is against you, blaming other people doesn't work. When you fight life, life always wins. Have a happy day!

2715. Happiness adds and multiplies as we divide it with others. May your happiness overflow so that it will touch the lives of many people. May God bless you always.

2716. Our lives are books and each day is a page. We cannot erase what has already been written but we can always try to write a better ending. God bless!

2717. Be grateful for the journey of life, with all its twists and turns, detours and diversions. We often learn much from the rocky road than from the smooth path. Good morning!

2718. Dear God, you've given me valuable hours each day. May I use a few seconds to say thank you for giving me the gift of knowing someone as nice as the one reading this. Good morning!

2719. Sometimes, you have to make a big mistake to figure out how to make things right. Mistakes are painful. But they are the only way to find out who you really are.

2720. If it's taking all your strength, if it's killing your heart, if it's making you bear too much pain and it's making you ignore everything else, make sure it's worth it, otherwise, let it go!

2721. Once I loved, I believed, I trusted. I failed, I cried, I moved on. Then I loved again. I invested, I exerted, I hoped, I fought. But eventually, I became weak, I got tired, I let go. Love doesn't always succeed. But it always teaches us to let go if we can no longer hold on.

2722. I guess that love does fade. That sometimes, the heart does get tired of longing, of hoping. That sometimes, you just have to accept the fact that some things can never be and that you should be contented with things as they are. Leaving is a choice. Staying is a choice. But you can never really asks someone to stay or to leave. It's a choice they have to make for themselves and sometimes, no matter how much you beg someone to stay or how hard you try to make someone leave, you really have no control over what they will choose.

2723. If you're not sure where you stand in someone's life, it's best to leave things behind so that if they drop you off, it will be easier to forget them. Don't waste time waiting for nothing when efforts are not recognized. It's best to just give things up. You've done your part, let them do theirs.

2724. The best part of being in love is when you just love a person and be happy about it. Even if that person can never be yours, even if you know that it can't last forever.That's the true essence of love. It's not about winning someone, it's not about owning a relationship, it's just about being happy because you know you've loved someone. It's about being guiltless because you know you didn't take away someone from anybody, you just love and love unselfishly.

2725. Take time to listen to your heart. Sometimes, you need not ask yourself who you really love most, but ask who really makes you happy and who makes you feel loved.



2726. Go for the person who makes you smile will all your heart and soul. The person whom you can't wait to see or talk to. This is the person whom you're meant to be with. Maybe not forever, but for now, they're right for you.

2727. Being a surgeon is easy. Just remember to cut, close and suture. But sometimes, you'll encounter a cut that is difficult to heal. Just like love. You can always cut but closure and suturing don't always follow. Thus, causing continuous bleeding. - Dr. Derek Sheperd (Grey's Anatomy)

2728. Girl and boy with their friends in school canteen. Boy: Mauna na ako. (Grabs the hands of the girl, patayo din.) Girl: Bakit? Boy: Points on a sign that says, "Do not leave your valuables unattended."

2729. Don't eat me! I have a wife and kids... Eat them!!! - Homer Simpson

2730. Si Optimus Prime ay isang magiting na mandirigma. Pass this to 10 friends at magiging Autobot ka sa loob ng dalawang araw. Totoo ito! Yung pinsan ko, nagtransform na, naging tricycle! Nyahaha!

2731. Naranasan mo na ba yung feeling ng hintay ka nang hintay sa text ng taong mahal mo? Hirap, di ba? Masakit, lalo na kung biglang nagbeep yung phone mo, excited mong binuksan, yun pala, 11000 na ang nanalo ng Free McDo. Taeng AutoLoad Max yan!

2732. Panty contest: How many panties do you have? Filipina: 3, for morning, afternoon and night. French: 7, for Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday! Bumbay: 12! (Wow!) For January, February, March, April, May, June, July, August, September, October, November and December!

2733. Ako? Kilalang crush ng school. Sikat sa room. Asset ng barkada. Palaban sa kalokohan at gabagyo ang lakas ng appeal! Pero, joke lang yun, ito naman, nagrereact agad. Hehehe.

2734. Kapag nagmahal ka, dapat, ipaalam mo! Eh, ano kung hindi nya tanggapin. At least, nasabi mo. Mabigo ka man, andito lang ako. Mang-aasar sa iyo! Ikaw kasi, bakit mo kasi sinabi?! :)

2735. Text ni yaya sa amo nya: "Ate, may importante pong bagay na nakalimotan nyu dito sa bahay, buti at naisepan kong itext kayo. Naiwan pu nyo ang cellphone nyo. Please text back!"

2736. Ano daw ang bagong sinasakyan ni Gretchen? Ano daw? Eh, di, Strada!!

2737. Dati, ang gamot sa sakit ng ulo ay kispirin at yakapsul, ngayon, hindi na raw uso yun! Ano na uso? Biogesex! Kahit walang laman ang tyan, safe!

2738. Girl: Itay, nagbold po ako sa magasin. Tingnan nyo po ang picture ko sa page 10. Itay: Anak! Sa palagay mo ba, may mas nakakahiya pa dito?! Girl: Meron pa po itay! Tingnan nyo sa page 16, si inay!

2739. Minsan, kailangan mong magparamdam sa mahal mo, sa kaibigan mo, sa tropa, sa kaberks, sa katext. Kasi, kung hindi, magugulat ka na lang isang araw, reply nila sa iyo, "Hu U?"

2740. Malungkot ka ba? Naiiyak? Natutulala? Ganyan talaga kapag matigas ang tae mo! Konting tiis lang, mapuputol din yan!

2741. Wife: Mabuti pa ang ulo mo, matigas, eh ang bird mo, ang lambot! Tumayo ang mister at pumasok sa banyo. Naslide sabay sigaw, "Mabuti pa ang banyo, madulas!"

2742. Isang mabangis na pambanat! Guy: Miss, freezer ka ba? Girl: Bakit mo naman nasabi? Guy: Tinitigasan kasi ako sa iyo eh! Hehehe.

2743. Sabi nung friend ko, nakakalaki daw ng tiyan ang beer. Kasi, minsan, nalasing sya. Ayun, nabuntis ang gaga. Hehehe!

2744. Igorot1: Mag-iingat ka sa iyong babaybayin na daan dahil ito'y mapanganib. Kunin mo itong gamot sa kagat ng ahas, baka sakaling ikaw ay makagat. Kunin mo itong isang bote ng hamog dahil ito'y nakakatanggal ng uhaw at gutom. Dalhin mo ang balaraw na ito ng ating mga ninuno upang maprotektahan ka sa mababangis na hayop. Natatandaan mo pa ba ang daan anak ko? Igorot2: Sige, sige, basta itext mo ako. Igorot1: Ok, basta imiscall mo muna ako! Ingats!

2745. Alangan namang ako ang umiwas sa iyo para hindi ka mahulog sa akin? Hindi ko naman ginusto dahil mapapahiya ka lang. Don't worry, hindi ko ipagsasabi na nahulog ka sa akin. - Kanal.

2746. Nagbubungkal ng lupa si Juan para magtanim. Akala ni Pedro, niloloko sya dahil wala namang itinatanim. Pedro: Juan, tanga ka! Wala ka namang itinatanim ah! Juan: Mas tanga ka! Seedless ito!

2747. Jinggoy: Bakit ba maalat at may asin ang dagat? Pacquiao: Sinadya yan ni Lord para sa ganun, hindi mapanis ang mga isda!

2748. I tried my best to make it up to you, but you didn't care. Now that I'm gone, you want me to come back for you? You should have woke up earlier to see me! - Magtataho, sosyal!

2749. One day, a guy said this to a girl. Pwede bang tabi tayo kapag exam? She asks him why? Kopya ka? He said, Kasi, I feel perfect when I'm beside you. Hehehe. Talaga lang ha?!

2750. Umiiyak ang isang zoo worker, itinanong ko kung bakit. Sagot nya, "Namatay kasi ang elepante." "Mahal na mahal mo yung elepante?""Hindi naman po, ako lang ang nautusang maghukay ng libingan nya!"

Contributors:
2701-2704, 2714-2718: Anonymous (+63920801***3)
2705-2712, 2725-2727, 2732-2750: Asha (+63917898***7)
2713, 2720-2722, 2729-2731: Eroica
2719: Starfish
2723: Anonymous (+63920240***0)
2724, 2728: Vahnrey

Jul 7, 2007

text messages 2601 - 2640

Announcement: I need more text messages. Send your text messages to +639195947635, or e-mail to textmeyts@yahoo.com. Thanks! Have a nice day! Happy 777 Lucky Day!

2601. Life is unpredictable, anything could just happen. It might be success or a mess, but for as long as we're learning on the Lord's side, we'll win because God never loses a battle. God bless!

2602. God's hand is upon you today, touching your life with joy, blessing your heart with love and comforting yourself with peace. Smile! Take care!

2603. God's plans are better than ours, that's why God doesn't always say "Yes" to every word we say. Sometimes, He says, "My child, allow me. I have a better way." Good evening!

2604. The happiest people in the world are not those who have no problems, but those who learn to live with things that are less than perfect. Good night!

2605. Happiness is not something you have in your hands. It's something you carry in your heart. Give it away generously and it will return to you a thousand fold. God bless you!

2606. Kinda wondering why sunset is a lot colorful than the sunrise that just actually gives us light? I guess it's the irony of life. There is "good" in "goodbyes."

2607. If you desire long life, if you want to enjoy prosperity, keep your tongue from falsehood, keep your lips from deceit, turn away from evil and do good. Seek peace and pursue it. Keep the faith!

2608. Often, the greatest enemy of present happiness is past happiness too well remembered.

2609. I think everybody should get rich and famous and do everything they ever dreamed of so they can see that it's not the answer. - Jim Carrey.

2610. Some learnings in life: 1. Be kind to yourself. 2. Looking good is feeling good. 3. You are out not to please everybody. 4. Expect little, but do your best and dream big. 5. Smile a lot! It's healthy. 6. Laugh your heart out. Be silly once in a while. 7. Live light and keep it simple. 8. Failure is a good starting point. 9. You are blessed. Don't forget to say thanks. 10. Have faith. God answers our prayers.

2611. I saw a painting of two friends holding hands, it's old yet never fading. How I wish we were the painting. Getting older, yet never changing.

2612. Sometimes people give up on love that's why God made the earth round so that if two people who are meant to be would decide to walk different paths, still at one point of the world, the end of their roads can meet.

2613. Falling in love is never a decision - always by chance. Staying in love is never a chance - always by choice. Falling out of love is never a choice - always a decision.

2614. 10 things to consider in a relationship: 1. Never both be angry at the same time. 2. Never yell at each other. 3. If one of you has to win an argument, let it be your mate. 4. If you must criticize, do it lovingly. 5. Never bring up mistakes of the past. 6. Neglect the whole world rather than each other. 7. Never go to sleep with an argument unsettled. 8. At least once a day, say a complimentary word to your mate. 9. When you have done something wrong, admit and ask forgiveness. 10. It takes two to make a quarrel, but the one who's wrong does the most of it.

2615. Woman are like apples on a tree. The best ones are at the top. Men don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they just get the rotten apples from the ground that aren't good but easy. So the apples on the top think something is wrong with them. When in reality, they are amazing, they just have to wait for the right man to come along. The one who is brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree.

2616. FYI: An average American man measures 5'9". Pinoy average height is 5'4". Humans are a little taller at night (quarter of an inch). Average size of American penis is 6 inches. Average Pinoy penis is 4 inches. Typical guy laughs 15x a day, cries 1.5x a month. An average guy sleeps 7.5 hours a night, 220000 hours sleep in his lifetime. A typical American guy has 14.5 sex partners in his life (excluding sex workers) Men enjoy sex 135x a year. Men can read small prints than women but has weaker location memory. 91% of men lie regularly.

2617. Use your lips for truth, your voice for kindness, your eyes for compassion, your hands for charity, your figure for uprightness, your heart for love and for anyone who doesn't like you, your middle finger! Hahaha!

2618. Simple thought: No matter how serious life gets, you will consequently need the company of people whom you can completely be stupid with.

2619. Husband to doctor: I want a vasectomy. Doctor: Did you discuss this with your family? Husband: I asked my children and they voted favorably, 17-2.

2620. A guy after 3 hours of sex tells his girlfriend: You're not going to see me for a while. Girl: Why? Are you going to leave me? Boy: No. Just turn over. Next position please. :)



2621. Man: Can I have sex with my pregnant wife? Doctor: First 3 months, normal style. Next 3 months, dog style. Last 3 months, wolf style. Man: How do wolves do it? Doctor: Sleep near the hole and howl!

2622. This puzzle is exclusively for those who have a sharp mind. How many eggs will a rooster lay in 1 year if it lays 5 eggs a day? No reply, no IQ! Game? I'll wait...

2623. Trivia! A jellyfish is 95% water. Owls are the only birds that can see the color blue. A roach can live 9 days without its head. Camels have 3 eyelids. A goldfish has a memory span of 3 seconds. Pigs are the only animals other than humans that can get sunburn. Rats can't vomit, that's why rat poison works. Lobsters have blue blood. Moths have white blood. Dolphins sleep with one eye open. A mosquito has 47 teeth. Snails can sleep for 21 years.

2624. Your food choices show your mood: Angry people often eat meat which they can chew aggresively, it's like a release. Lonely people eat bulky food such as rice - they feel empty so they want something that makes them feel full. Stressed people eat chips or crackers. Sad people indulge in ice cream and cheese. Sexually frustrated people eat breads and donuts, they want something that slides down easy, no hassles. Source: Reader's Digest, January 2007.

2625. Anger is a condition where the tongue works faster than the mind. Hold it before you regret it! Have a good morning! Take care.

2626. It's hard to wait around for something you know might not happen. But it's harder to give up when you know it's everything you ever wanted.

2627. Girl: Bakit mo ako love? Boy: Ang mata mo, sing ningning ng bituin! Girl: Napanood ko na yan! Boy: You complete me! Girl: Kainis ka talaga! Boy: Tayong dalawa, always kama ang punta! Girl: Ay, love mo ako talaga!!!

2628. Sa kasalan. Pari: Sana, ang donation mo ay katumbas ng ganda ng pakakasalan mo. Groom: Eto, P5 father. Tiningnan ng pari ang bride. Pari: Eto P2, sukli mo!

2629. Wife1: Ang asawa ko ang the best! Hindi babaero, hindi naninigarilyo, hindi umiinom at nasa bahay lang lagi. Wife2: Parang santo pala siya! Wife1: Nope! Paralyzed ang tarantado!

2630. Nurse: Dok, bakit ayaw ng mga lalaki magcondom kapag nagsesex sila? Doktor: Tanungin kita, masarap bang mangulangot nang nakagwantes??

2631. What she says versus what she means... Says: Hindi ako galit. Means: Hayop ka! Says: Wait, 5 minutes na lang. Means: I'll be ready in 1 hour. Says: May suggestion ako. Means: Ito ang dapat! Says: Ang pangit ko ngayon no? Means: Sabihin mong maganda ako!

2632. What he says versus what he means... Says: Gusto mong kumain? Means: Gutom na ako. Says: Gusto mong panoorin talaga yan? Means: Ang corny. Says: What's wrong? Means: Nag-iinarte ka na naman dyan! Says: Ikaw ang pinakamagandang babae sa mundo. Means: Hay naku, eto na naman tayo.

2633. Alam mo bang tinext kita dahil gusto ko lang mangumusta? Yun lang, ayoko nang pahabain pa itong text ko sa iyo, kasi, ang pakay ko lang talaga ay kamustahin ka. Medyo tinatamad nga akong magtext lalo na kung mahaba, kaya ito, kakamustahin lang kita. Baka may ginagawa kang importante, sabihin mo pa nakakaabala pa ako sa iyo, kaya di na ako nagtext ng mahaba. Nakakahiya naman sa iyo. Basta alam mong naalala kita sa simpleng kamusta lang. Hindi na para tanungin ko pa ang ginagawa mo, o kung ok ka. Basta nagtext ako para mangamusta.

2634. Fall... Boron! Hahaha! I've been... Patrimonio! Wehehe. Anchor... Tis! Hahaha! Last na! Last na! Korny na... Sanchez! Wahahaha!

2635. Isang binatilyo ang pumasok sa gay bar. Nalaman ng nanay nya at nagalit. Nanay: Ano ang nakita mo doon na hindi mo dapat makita? Boy: Si tatay po! Tumitili pa!!

2636. Two men drinking: Man1: Pare, bakit hanggang ngayon, wala ka pa ring girlfriend? Tingnan mo ako, nakakailan na. Wala ka bang natitipuhan? Man2: (Blushed) Meron. Manhid ka lang kasi!

2637. Dapat talaga, lumabas na yang si Wendy sa bahay. Arte, arte nya no, tsaka walang breeding! - Tinkerbell.

2638. Movies that must not be translated into Filipino. Black Hawk Down - Ibong Maitim Sa Ibaba. Dead Man's Chest - Dodo ng Patay. I Know What You Did Last Summer - Uuyyy, Aminin! Love Actually - Sa Totoo Lang, Pag-Ibig. Million Dollar Baby - Milyun-milyong pisong sanggol (it depends on the exchange rate.) The Blair Witch Project - Ang Proyekto ng Bruhang Si Blair. Marry Poppins - Si Mariang May Putok. Snakes On A Plane - Nag-ahasan sa Ere.

2639. Movies that must not be translated into Filipino II. The Postman Always Rings Twice - Ang Kartero Kapag Dumutdot Laging Dalawang Beses. Sum Of All Fears - Takot Mo, Takot Ko, Takot Nating Lahat. Swordfish - Talakitok. Pretty Woman - Ganda ng Lola Mo. Robin Hood, Men In Tights - Si Robin Hood at ang mga Felix Bakat. Four Weddings and A Funeral - Kahit Apat Na Beses Ka Pang Magpakasal, Mamamatay Ka Rin! The Good, The Bad And The Ugly - Ako, Ikaw, Kayong Lahat!

2640. Movies that must not be translated into Filipino III. Harry Potter And The Sorcerer's Stone - Adik Si Harry, Nagbabato. Click - Isang Pindot Ka lang. Brokeback Mountain - May Nawasak Sa Likod ng Bundok Tralala. There's Something About Mary - May Kwan Sa Ano Ni Maria. Employee Of The Month - Ang Sipsip. Resident Evil - Ang Biyenan. Kill Bill - Kilitiin sa Bilbil. The Grudge - Lintik Lang Ang Walang Ganti. Never Been Kissed - Pangit Kasi. Gone In 60 Seconds - Isang Round, Tulog. The Fast and The Furious - Ang Bitin, Galit! Too Fast, Too Furious - Kapag Sobrang Bitin, Sobrang Galit. Dude, Where's My Car? - Dong, Anung Level Ulet Tayo Nagpark? Beauty And The Beast - Ang Asawa Ko At Ang Nanay Nya!


Contributors:
2601-2606, 2612-2614, 2617-2621, 2623-2632: Asha (+63917898***7)
2607-2609, 2615-2616, 2637-2640: Eroica
2610: Abet (+63917866***0)
2611: Joy (+63910727***1)
2622: Shawie (+63921406***9)
2633-2636: Tekla

Jun 30, 2007

text messages 2551 - 2600

2551. Even in the most fulfilled lives, there's still an emptiness that only God can fill. Let Him guide your steps and bless your way, today and everyday. Good night!

2552. Morning is a sign of God's great love for us. Let us be thankful that we are given a new day to share this love with special people in our hearts. Good morning!

2553. There's music from heaven that takes away our tiredness; it is God's melody of love that quiets all our weariness. Hear it and find peace in His presence. Good morning!

2554. God blesses you to bless others. "To this end I also labor, striving according to His working which works in me mightily." Collosians 1:29. Have a blessed day!

2555. Thank God for today. Choose to see the good side of every event, thing or person in your life, and you'll never run out of blessings to count. Take care!

2556. God said, "Don't get tired of doing what is good. Don't get discouraged and give up, for we will reap a harvest of blessings at the appropriate time." God bless.

2557. I would rather live my life as if there is God to find out there isn't, than live my life as if there isn't and die to find out there is. - Albert Camus

2558. Two children playing in a park begin to argue. One says, "I hate you! I'm never going to play with you again!" For a few moments, they play separately, and they are back playing together and sharing toys. How do children manage to be so angry one minute and best of friends the next? The answer is simple - it is more important to them to be happy than to be right.

2559. Whoever said that what you don't know can't hurt you is a complete total moron, because for most people I know, not knowing is the worst feeling in the world. - Grey's Anatomy.

2560. All my life, I've accepted everything because I believe in this: "Everything happens for a reason." The hardest part is: "Finding out what the reason is."

2561. Trivia: Most people look at their right when recalling the truth and events that actually happened. People look to their left when creating or spinning out new versions of past events.

2562. Life is an echo, what you sent out, you get back; what you give, you receive. When you bring out the best in others, you bring out the best in yourself.

2563. Your mind is like a garden. Tend it well by filling it with positive, encouraging and faith-building thoughts throughout the day. Good morning!

2564. Life has great options, but you don't always have to pick what seems to be the best. Sometimes, the best and the perfect aren't always what makes you happy. Good day!

2565. Burdens of life are like winds against a tree, it makes the tree stronger by forcing it to make its roots run deep for it not to fall. Welcome the winds that strengthen us!

2566. In life, we always search for answers because we want to prove ourselves that we had the right decisions but the truth is we can't search for what's not there. Things happen because it's meant to happen. That's why we forgive people even if they hurt us, we love people who don't love us and we smile despite every painful crash in our hearts. At the end of the day, the lesson you get are the answers to your decisions. Happy weekend!

2567. Life is like taking photographs. We often pose the way we wanna be seen by others. But sometimes, by taking stolen shots, we capture who we really are.

2568. Thought of the day: Our eyes are placed in front, because it is more important to look ahead than to look back.

2569. Believe while others doubt, work while others wish, save while others waste, persevere while others quit, pray and stay while others walk away. Good day!

2570. You don't force love to come in your life, for love comes freely and chooses no one. One day, you might wake up falling in love for the person you least expected!

2571. Love means trusting yourself with someone who has seen you at your worst and loves you in anyway. It means teasing each other and laughing at jokes nobody but only the two of you understands. It means feeling safe enough to talk about anything and having the patience to work out disagreements. It means counting on someone who sympathizes when you had a bad day, worries about you when you're gone too long and always welcomes you with open arms no matter what.

2572. Love should never be a secret. If you keep something as complicated as love stored up inside, it will make you sick. - Spiderman.

2573. Don't be afraid to be loved more than you can return. Be afraid that you didn't give back the love that you can. Love need not be equal to be fair, it only needs to be true.

2574. Chance or choice? When you meet the right person to love at the right place and at the right time, that's a chance. When you meet someone you're attracted to, that's a chance too. Being caught that there are many people out there who are more attractive, smarter, richer than your mate and yet you decide to love your mate just the same, that's a choice. Attraction comes to us by chance. But true love that lasts is truly a choice. Listen: Fate brings you together, but it is still up to you to make it happen. We may meet someone by chance, but loving and staying with that someone is still a choice.

2575. He should know that the great aim of every human being is to understand the meaning of total love. Love is not to be found in someone else, but in ourselves; we simply awaken it. But in order to do that, we need the other person. The universe only makes sense when we have someone to share our feelings with. - Eleven Minutes by Paolo Coelho.



2576. If you wanna end up with the right person, you've got to make it happen. The best people are always taken, so if you don't steal them, you won't have them. - Spongebob Squarepants. (Cartoons could be dangerous!)

2577. If opportunity doesn't knock, make a door!

2578. What's worse than having termites in your piano? Crabs on your organ! Hahaha.

2579. Adulthood means... You have to go places you don't want to go. You have to see people you don't want to see. You can't everything you want. You find out your favorite celebrity will probably not marry you! Hahaha!

2580. Once, a cutie looked at me, I smiled at him, he died. That's when "killer smile" began. Nyahahaha!

2581. Tatlong pari, nagsabihan ng sikreto. Pari1: Sa inyo ko lang ito sasabihin, may nabuntis akong parishioner. Pari2: Ako naman, bading, may boyfriend akong sakristan. Pari3: Ako naman, madaldal.

2582. Imagine life without girls. Phones silent, malls empty, no valentines, no cosmetics, no flowers, no noise, at mamamatay sa tuwa ang mga bakla! Bruhahaha!

2583. Sadya bang ang higpit ng ating mundo? Sadya bang kay lupit ng ating buhay? Sadya... libee, bida ang saya! :)

2584. Theme songs ng mga: Bakla - On Bended Knees. Tibo - I'm Not A Girl, Not Yet A Woman. Pilay - Incomplete. Baliw - I Believe I Can Fly. Bobo - Let's Take It Slow. Masokista - Hit Me Baby One More Time. Mahilig mag-orgy - All At Once. Nagmamasturbate - All By Myself. Mahilig mangutang - Run To You. Sinisingil sa utang - Runaway.

2585. Intsik: Papakasal ako padle. Pari: Marunong ka bang magdasal? Intsik: Olasyon alas sais lang memolize ko. Pari: Pakinggan ko nga. Intsik: Klang klang klang klang!

2586. May sasabihin ako. Kaya lang, kadiri eh. Gusto mong malaman? O sige, basta huwag mong ipasa sa iba, kasi nga, nakakahiya talaga. Cute ka! O, di ba, yuck?!

2587. You said bye, pinigil kita. Sabi mo, can't you understand? I got to go! I tried to hold your arm to stop you from going. Lumingon ka and said, "Ano ba?! Natatae na ako, let me go!"

2588. Amo: Inday, ilang liters meron sa isang galon ng Coke? Inday: 4 liters ma'am! Amo: 4? Sure ka? Inday: Yes ma'am! Liter C, liter O, liter K, liter E. 4 liters!

2589. Kapag nakita mo ako na marumi, warat warat ang damit, walang tsinelas at nasa gitna ng kalye, please, huwag kang lalapit. May shooting ako, bawal ang fans. Hehehe.

2590. Pulis: Bakit mo inihagis ang bata? Yaya: Sinunod ko lang naman po ang amo ko. Pulis: Ano bang utos? Yaya: Sabi, kapag wala nang Pampers, i-huggies na lang si baby!

2591. Boy: Dad, ano gawa mo kay mommy? (nahuli nakapatong) Dad: Gawa isa pa baby para kalaro mo at tawag pa sa iyo, kuya. Boy: Dog-style na lang kayo dad, gusto ko kasi, tuta. :)

2592. Teacher: Totoo bang hindi naninigarilyo, hindi umiinom, hindi nagsusugal at hindi nangtsitsiks ang papa mo? Student: Opo! Teacher: Wow! Anong sikreto nya? Student: Walang pera!

2593. Every girl has a dream. Mine is to wake up to the sound of a rock being thrown at my bedroom window, and see the guy I love standing in the rain asking me for another chance. Joke lang! Ang dream ko lang talaga ay yumaman! Wahahaha!

2594. Dear Ma'am/Sir, I hereby tender my irrevocable resignation as your employee, effective today. It has been a pleasant stay in your company, but owing to personal reasons I am compelled to move on. I would like to thank you and your good management for the wonderful experience accorded to me during my stay in your company. Yours truly, Inday. - Lufet ni Inday, in fairness!

2595. Misis: Mare, hindi lahat ay kailangan ang pera para umangat. Magparomansa ka lang nang todo kay pare, sa sarap, aangat ka rin mare!

2596. Dalawang lasing, sabay umihi. Lasing1: Pare, shobrang tigash ng bird ko, uuwi nako, yayariin ko shi mishish. Lasing2: E dapat, shama ako shayo. Lasing1: Baket?? Lasing2: Kashe, bird ko yang hawak mo! :)

2597. Magkukumpare, nag-iisip na sa pangalan ng magiging anak. Noel: Ipapangalan ko sa anak ko, Leon, baliktad ng Noel. Nino: Sa akin, Onin, baliktad ng Nino. Toto: Huwag nyo akong maisali-sali dyan sa usapan nyo, upakan ko kayo!

2598. Walang pangit na bakla sa lalaking nangangailangan. Peace!

2599. Tatay: Ano ba ang hanap mo dyan sa supot ng 3 in 1 coffee mo at kanina ka pang silip nang silip dyan? Anak: Hinahanap ko po ang libreng asukal! May nakasulat kasi na "Sugar Free" eh. Tatay: Bobo! Banda yun!

2600. Anak: Itay, paano po lumilipad ang eroplano? Itay: Ewan ko anak! Anak: Paano po ang barko nakakalutang sa tubig? Itay: Hindi ko rin alam anak! Anak: E bakit ang sasakyan, gumugulong sa lupa? Itay: Lalong hindi ko alam anak! Anak: Pasensya na itay ha, ang dami kong tanong. Itay: Talagang ganun anak, paano ka naman matututo kung hindi ka magtatanong?!

Contributors:
2551-2556, 2562-2573, 2579-2585, 2595-2597: Asha (+63917898***7)
2557-2561, 2575-2576, 2591-2594, 2598: Eroica
2574: Joy (+6310727***1)
2577: Neil (2770077***5)
2578: Ariel (277001010***2)
2586-2590, 2599: Tekla
2600: Jamie
Sikreto ng Mayayaman