text messages 2401 - 2450

2401. If God answers your prayer, He is increasing your faith. If He delays, He is increasing your patience. If He doesn't answer, He has something better for you. Good evening!

2402. God's promises are like stars, the darker the night, the brighter they shine. Happiness is not what you get from life but it is what you give to others. Good morning!

2403. Faith is the ability to not panic.

2404. If you worry, you didn't pray. If you pray, don't worry.

2405. Laugh everyday, it's like inner jogging.

2406. Growing old is inevitable, growing up is optional.

2407. Silence is often misinterpreted, but never misquoted.

2408. There is no key to happiness, the door is always open!

2409. The mind of God is different than the thoughts of man. As we follow Him, we discover that we lose to gain, surrender to win, die to live, give to receive, serve to reign, scatter to reap. In weakness, we are made strong. In humility, we are lifted up. In emptiness, we are made full. God bless your way!

2410. Faith in God soothes a troubled mind. It heals a wounded heart. Most of all, it becomes a stronghold in times of need. God cares! Hold on to Him always!

2411. An arrow can be shot only by dragging it back. So, when you find your life dragging back, don't feel despondent. God is about to launch you into victory!

2412. To those who see with loving eyes, life is beautiful. To those who speak with a tender voice, life is peaceful. To those who help with gentle hands, life is full. And to those who care with compassionate hearts, life is good beyond all measure. Have a nice day!

2413. Vision is when you see it while others don't. Faith is when you do it while others won't. May you always have both, so your light will shine brightly. Good evening!

2414. The greatest happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved, loved for ourselves, or rather loved in spite of ourselves.

2415. A sense of purpose is the best driving force to live. Because when you have a reason to live, you will never have a reason to quit. Good day!

2416. The measure of a person is not how well he prepares for everything to go right, but on how gracefully he stands up and moves on after everything goes wrong.

2417. It is amazing to realize that living in simplicity gives true contentment. We go as we come to this world and in the end, nothing is ours to keep. Good evening!

2418. Enemies stab you in front, bitches stab you at the back. Jerks stab you at the heart but a true friend is sitting there with a knife, to stab those a*sholes right back!

2419. A circle means forever, no beginning, no end. Let our special friendship be not just an endless line but a circle that goes on and on forever!

2420. A friend is an extension of yourself, without it, you are not complete. Take care of yourself my friend, because I don't want to lose 'a part of me'.

2421. If I can pull the rainbow of the sky, I'll shape it into your name then put it back in the sky. Why? To let everyone know how colorful my life has been with a friend like you. Good morning!

2422. I send this special wish to a friend for a friendship I will always cherish; may your life be filled with excellent health, much success and a bit of wealth, and may you live by the light above, and feel the joys that come from love.

2423. Some people look for the perfect person to love but they don't realize that a person becomes perfect when we begin to love them sincerely.

2424. A person who truly loves you is someone who sees the pain in your eyes while everyone else still believes in the smile of your face.

2425. As you read a book, it's hard to turn into another page unless you understand the first one. Just like love, it's hard to go on with the new one, unless you are over with your past.

2426. If you think life is bad, how would you like to be an egg? You only get laid once, you only get eaten once. It takes 4 minutes to get hard, only 2 minutes to get soft. You share your box with 11 other guys. But worst of all, the only chick that ever sat on your face was your mother! So cheer up, your life ain't that bad! Send this to people who don't know how to value balls, I mean eggs, I mean life. :)

2427. No matter how serious life gets, you will consequently need the company of people whom you can completely be stupid with. Thanks for being stupid at times! Mwahahaha!

2428. If you can't accept me at my worst, then you don't deserve me at my best!

2429. How to know if you are normal: 1. You have a Friendster account. 2. You have a cellphone. 3. You watch MTV. 4. You are fully aware of adult stuff. 6. You register to unlimited texting. 7. You sleep late. 9. You were so busy you forgot to read number 5. 10. You actually scrolled up to see if there's a number 5. Don't worry, wala ding number 8. 11. Then, slowly you smile, and you realize that you are normal! =)

2430. For the friendship, for the care, for the love, for the laughs, for the fun, for the bond, for the smiles, for the jokes, for the company, for the texts, for the joys, for the happiness, for everything, thank me! Thank me! =)

2431. B1: Grabe! Naholdap ako! Muntik pa akong mamatay! B2: Bakit hindi ka humingi ng tulong? B1: Nagtext ako sa police station. B2: Bakit, anong reply? B1: Hay naku! Ito ang reply, "Hu u?"

2432. Kapangyarihan ng alak! Taglay ay tama! Kambal ang tingin, gumegewang ang dating! Kami ang sunog baga! Tagay!

2433. Malalaman mo lang ang halaga ng isang bagay kapag... may tag price! :)

2434. Attorney: Where were you seated when the impact came? Court interpreter: Saan banda ka nakaupo nung dumating ang impakto?!

2435. Thought of the day: "If you were born na panget, it's not your fault. Pero kapag namatay kang ganyan, kasalanan mo na yan!" - Vicky Belo.

2436. "I'm a butterfly, a pretty, little, brown butterfly!" - Baklang Ipis.

2437. Tom Cruise + Katie Holmes = "Tomkat", Brad Pitt + Angelina Jolie = "Brangelina", Ogie + Regine = Ogre! Hehehe. Shrek 3, now showing!

2438. Ngayong muling nagluklok tayo ng mga pulitiko sa pamunuan, karapatdapat man sila o hindi, tayo ang nagbigay sa kanila sa kapangyarihan. Sa ngayon, ang sambayanan ay binabagabag ng isang matinding palaisipan: Ano ba talaga ang katotohanan sa likod ng hiwalayang Ruffa at Ylmaz?

2439. Mga pasosyal na nag-uusap. Girl1: Oh, paano ka nakarating dito? Did you walk or did you ride? Girl2: Syempre, did you ride! What do you think of me? Poverty? Oh common!

2440. A young boy was f*cking the dog when his mom entered the room. Both stared at each other and not a word was said. Then the boy said: Kaysa magdrugs ako?! :)

2441. Bata: Pabili po ng ubas. Tindera: Wala kaming ubas. Kinabukasan. Bata: Pabili nga po ng ubas. Tindera: Wala nga kaming ubas. Isa pang tanong mo at iiistapler ko na yang bibig mo. Kinabukasan. Bata: May stapler kayo? Tindera: Wala, bakit? Bata: Sige, pabili na lang ng ubas!

2442. Masakit ba ang ulo mo? Dahil sa problema? May gamot na! TOGMORON 500! Iun-TOGMORON sa pader ang ulo mo ng 500x. Tandaan, TOG-MO-RON! Kapag hindi epektib, TOGMOPA 250!

2443. Minsan... Yan ang tawag sa akin ng ngongo kong pinsan. Close kasi kami! =)

2445. Man: Miss, 5 Viagra nga! Tindera: Dami naman sir! Man: Yes! Very hot ang date ko tonight! The next day. Man: Miss, 2 bote ng Betadine. Tindera: Sir! Anong nangyari sa kamay nyo? Man: Hmp! Hindi sumipot ang date ko eh!

2446. Pare, nag-away kami ng girlfriend ko. Bakit naman? She asks for a gift, sabi kahit ano daw, basta may diamond. Yun naman pala eh, anong niregalo mo? Baraha!

2447. Sometimes, I get so busy that I forget to thank those people who have made a great impact in my life, like you. Thanks nga pala ha! Kundi dahil sa inyo, matino pa sana ako. :)

2448. May nakakita sa akin sa dalampasigan, malungkot at nag-iisa. Sabi nya, "Kung mahal mo sya, bakit hindi mo ipadama?" Sumagot ako, "Mahal ka dyan! Nag-outing kami, naiwan ako!" :)

2449. Use EYE, KNEE, BEER, SEED in one sentence. Sirit na? EYE KNEE BEER SEED dat ay lab yu! - Sam Melbe. Hehehe.

2450. Halalan official results!!! Pichay - nalanta! Sotto - nabulaga! Chavit - sumabit! Pacquiao - K.O.! Oreta - Danced out! Montano - Outshine! Goma - Flat! Mike - Na-tol-luyan! Garci - Hello, goodbye!

Contributors:
2401-2408: Amgine
2409-2415, 2423-2424, 2430-2438: Asha (+63917898***7)
2416, 2426-2429, 2439-2445: Eroica
2417: Madame J (+63928625***8)
2418-2420, 2425, 2446-2447: Shawie (+63921406***9)
2421: Abet (+63917866***0)
2422: Precious (+88691023***4)
2448-2450: Tekla

text messages 2151 - 2200

2151. May God impart His richest blessings unto our heart. Love that keeps His presence near and faith that conquers doubt and fear. Good morning!

2152. Many times, we do not have all the answers to why things happen. Nonetheless, we must continue to walk by faith. Instead of looking for explanations, we can pause and listen to the Father's voice saying, "Trust Me."

2153. Life's battle don't always go to the stronger or faster ones, because sooner or later, the one who wins is the one who's heartbeat says, "With God, I can!" Good morning!

2154. Those who appear in your life, whether to help or to harm, are all given by God. Meet all of them with a peaceful heart, but with a warrior's spirit. You will fail many times, but in failing, you will learn, and in learning, you will find your way. God bless!

2155. God give gifts of love thru people like you. May all your days be as special as the memories you create in the hearts of those you touch and cared for.

2156. God will shower you graces more than you expected, simply because you never asked for them. It's the people around you, like me, who wished them for you. Happy Easter!

2157. Praying for you is my way of saying, "You are dear to me." I ask God to pour what's best for you and what will make you happy, today and everyday. Good morning!

2158. There are things we regret - words we wish had gone unsaid, starts that had bitter endings, chances we threw away, roads we should've never taken, signs we didn't see, hearts we hurt needlessly, and wounds we wish we could mend. But life gets that much harder, the past can't be rewritten but it can make you stronger. Be thankful for every change life has thrown you, for every break in your heart, for every scar. Some pages were turned, some bridges were burned, but you had lessons learned. Good morning!

2159. Never get discouraged when things do not measure to your expectations. Always remember that the greatest glory in life is not winning but rising everytime we fall!

2160. Everything that happened once may never happen again. But everything that happens twice will sure happen the third time. - Arab Proverb. Think about it.

2161. The heart remembers all special moments when kindness made the difference. May the kindness you often give return to you in countless special ways. Good night!

2162. The most hurtful kind of lies are the ones delivered by the people you care about the most. It makes you doubt everything you know and makes you wonder why you care so much and worst of all, it puts you in the position of deciding whether to tell them you know they're lying or act like you're too dull to even know the difference. Keep this in mind the next time you lie to someone who cares about you, because more often than not, they know and it hurts a lot!

2163. Words to live by: Just say what you mean and mean what you say. Don't expect someone to read your mind and don't play games with heads or hearts. Don't tell half truths and expect trust.

2164. Silence doesn't always mean yes, it may also mean no but it's better left unsaid. Anger doesn't always mean hatred, it could just be a means of coping with. Laughter doesn't always mean happiness, sometimes, it is just a mask. Tears doesn't always mean sorrow, it may also be an outlet of joy. Staying away doesn't always mean it's the end, it may also mean the best beginning. And life, though it's so complex, is always beautiful. See life on the other side.

2165. Value persons while you still have them. Because you'll never know till when they will stay in your life. You may get tired of having them, but at least be thankful they never get tired of having you.

2166. A friend is never a coincidence in your life, they are meant to enter your life to bring you joy and laughter, that's why I'll treasure the friendship between us. Thanks a lot!

2167. Friendship? It's about laughing at same things. It's about really being understood. It's about unconditional acceptance. It's about picking up where you left off. It's simply about us.

2168. Love should be stronger than pride. So when you love someone, tell them and never let go. Because love is a gift, not an obligation. Follow your heart and always love the person you really love.

2169. We have to realize that love is not enough to make a relationship work. We need trust, respect, time, effort and total commitment. If a person doesn't show respect, doesn't earn your trust and can't keep a promise, then no matter how many times they say, "I love you," those words will be empty. Take time to listen to what they don't say. Take time to look at what they don't show. Because there are secrets hidden beneath their words. So don't let passion but wisdom decide for you. Love wisely because it is never easy to love and get hurt.

2170. Sometimes, the risk of letting go is the only incredible thing one could do to know who's willing enough to look stupid just to come back.

2171. Sometimes, we just got to stop crying, get out of bed, fix our hair, get out and look pretty. You may or may not pretend to be over him, but just keep in mind that he just unhooked the biggest fish he has ever caught! =D - Carrie Bradshaw.

2172. This hurts: "Should I smile because we're friends? or should I cry because that's all we'll ever be?"

2173. Scientists have proven that human minds are linked with each other thru neuron activities. So, if you're thinking of someone all day long without any reason at all, that person is probably thinking of you too, in any sense. - Time Magazine (Fiction to Reality)

2174. It is not destiny that determines love, it is choice. Our so-called destiny is a lie. Relationships last long not because they're destined to last long. Relationships last long because two brave people made a choice - to keep it, to fight for it, and to work for it. Meanwhile, other relationships fail not because they're destined to fail. They failed because one of the two, or both, made the choice - to set each other free.

2175. The minute you think of giving up, think of the reasons why you held on so long.

2176. Two men were drinking in a bar. One insults the other saying, "I slept with your mother." No response from the other. "I slept with your mother." Whole bar is quiet now. The other man responded, "You are drunk already, let's go home, Dad."

2177. Terrorists kidnapped 10 BIR examiners and demanded P10 million or else they will burn them with gasoline. Please help with donation, I donated 100 liters.

2178. Three important stars in your life: 1. Party like a rock star. 2. Look like a movie star, and most importantly, 3. F*ck like a porn star! :D Awooo! Yeaba!

2179. Words of wisdom: Marriage is a relationship between two people in which one person is always right, and the other is the husband.

2180. A successful relationship requires falling in love many times with the same person, in different rooms, different bed, different positions. Huh? Ano daw??

2181. Question: What is the new definition of old age? Answer: It is when you see someone sexy and the only thing it arouses is your memory!

2182. Dog owner sent his dog to Obedience School. When dog returned, he wanted to see what it learned. Owner: Roll! (The dog didn't roll.) Shake! (The dog didn't shake.) Sit! (Still nothing.) He bring back dog to trainor. Trainor: Siguro sir, hindi nyo sinabi ng tama. Pakita ko sa iyo sir. Set! (Dog sat.) Sheek! (Dog shook hand.) Rule! (Dog rolled.)

2183. Dalawang kambal, nag-uusap sa sinapupunan: Kambal1: Anong gusto mo paglaki mo? Kambal2: Ako, gusto kong maging doktor. Para makatulong sa may sakit. Eh ikaw? Kabal1: Ako, gusto kong maging boksingero! Kambal2: Bakit naman? Kambal1: Boboksingin ko yung kalbong labas-masok dito, dinuduraan pa tayo!

2184. Inday: Huhu! Ate, si Kuya po, hinalikan ako kahapon! Misis: (bwisit) Hmp! O, ngayon?! Inday: Ngayon po? Ay, hindi pa po. Wala pa ngayon.

2185. Ang angel daw, palaging nasa tabi mo. Hindi ka iiwan hanggang huli, kaya lang, taga heaven daw sila. Huh?! Paano nangyari yun?! Eh taga-Batangas kaya ako!!

2186. Attorney: Nasaan ka ng mangyari ang rape? Suspect: Sa maisan. Attorney: Anong ginawa mo dun? Suspect: Tumae. Attorney: Ilang hakbang ka mula sa krimen? Suspect: Meron bang tumatae na pahakbang-hakbang?

2187. Ma'am: Class, sino ang gustong pumunta sa langit? (Lahat nagtaas ng kamay maliban kay Juan.) Ma'am: Bakit Juan, ayaw mo bang pumunta sa langit? Juan: Sabi kasi ni Nanay, uwi agad ako, gagabihin ba tayo?

2188. What's worse than finding a worm in the apple you are eating? Kapag nakita mong kalahati na lang yung worm! Hehehe.

2189. Kung pangarap mong mahalin ka ng isang taong mamahalin ka ng tunay at hindi ka lolokohin, itext mo si Prospero Pichay! Pangarap nyang tuparin yang pangarap mo!

2190. Bakit daw ang utak nasa ulo at ang puso ay nasa dibdib? Simple lang, pangit kasing tingnan kapag inlove ka eh tumitibok ang noo mo at ang laswa naman na kapag nag-iisip ka eh hinihimas mo ang dede mo! Ano kaya yun? Ampanget!

2191. Kahapon, nasaktan ako nang makita ko sya, di na nya kasi ako kilala pero nang tinitigan ko syang mabuti, narealize ko, hindi ko din pala sya kilala. Kaya pala!

2192. Kring..kring. Amo: Inday, sagutin mo nga yang phone at baka kabit ng sir mo yan! Inday: Si ate talaga oh! Pinapaselos ako! (Taray!)

2193. Kung ang taong gusto mo ay mayroon nang iba, tandaan lang ang "Continental Drift Theory." Kung ang pulo nga, naghihiwalay, tao pa kaya?! How inspiring! Mwahahaha!

2194. Just remember, take care of the one you love, if you don't, somebody else will! Good day!

2195. Guys, please don't vote for Joker, kasi, kaaway ko sya. Thanks! - Batman.

2196. Mahirap magmahal ng bago, darating ang panahon, maaalala mo yung isang mahal mo. Sino bang dapat? Yung present mong mabait? O yung ex mong sobrang sarap?? Ahahay!

2197. "All the bests are taken." - Isang napakalaking kahibangan! Dahil ako ay single! Hahaha! Good morning!

2198. Anong tawag mo sa maliit na nunal? - Ismole. Ano naman ang tawag mo sa nakakatakot na pekpek? - Isp*ki! Hahaha! (Spooky!)

2199. Kung kasalanan maging masarap, kung kasalanan maging kaakit-akit, "I'm sorry." :)

2200. Unrevealed truth about boys (Attitude sa pagtetext): Kapag nanliligaw: "Lunchtime na. Kain na ikaw. Huwag ka papagutom ha. Luv u." First 3 months mag-on: "Baby, kumain ka na? Kain ka na ha? Luv u." 4 to 8 months: "Baby, kakain muna ako, kain ka na rin. Luv u." 9 to 13 months: "Baby, gutom na ako. Kain muna ako." 14 months and above: "Eh sa hindi ako makapagreply dahil kumakain ako eh! Alangan namang kumakain yung tao tapos nagtetext nang nagtetext!" :)

Contributors:
2151, 2165, 2189: Tekla
2152-2153: Irish
2154-2155, 2163, 2166-2169: Joan
2156-2157: Abet (+63917866***0)
2158-2161, 2181-2184: Asha (+63917898***7)
2162, 2170-2180, 2190-2200: Eroica
2164: Arnel
2185-2188: Anonymous (+63920240***0)

text messages 1951 - 2000

1951. The good thing that you desire will become the best thing when you allow God to give it to you in His time. "He has made everything in His time." Ecc. 3:11. Good morning!

1952. The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow. Do good anyway. If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies, succeed anyway. If you are kind, people may accuse you of being selfish and having ulterior motives, be kind anyway. What you spend years building, someone may destroy overnight, build anyway. If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you, be honest and frank anyway. Give the world the best you have, it may never be enough, give the world the best you have anyway. If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous, be happy anyway. You see, in the final analysis, it's between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway. Good morning!

1953. 'God bless you' is such a little prayer but it means so much. It means may the Lord with His gracious hands give you more than you have prayed for. Good morning!

1954. A sweeter smile, a brighter day, hope everything turns out great for you today and always. Have a nice day and God bless!

1955. Even if time slips away without a text from me, you don't have to worry about our friendship because beyond words, I'll always be around you.

1956. We are living our own lives, having our own set of friends that we hang out with and talk to, but anytime you feel like needing someone crazy but real, I'm just around.

1957. Without a clue, I found you. Without a clue, we became friends. So when you feel there's nobody by your side and everybody leaves you behind, you'll see without a clue, I'm standing next to you.

1958. What is genuine friendship? When you call them by a stupid name and never by their own name. When they always get angry whenever you tell them that you are busy and can't reply. When they tell everything about themselves even if it's embarassing. When they come to see you whenever they get a chance. When you argue with each other on stupid things and then end up laughing!

1959. We are in a journey. We never know what road shall we take. We might part ways, have different lives and new friends, but please, if you lose your way, just go back to where you meet me. Good morning!

1960. According to Mike Murdock's The Law of Recognition: Everything you need is already in your life, merely awaiting your recognition of it. Anything unrecognized remains uncelebrated by you. Anything you refuse to celebrate eventually exits in your life. A gift, a miracle, or a person.

1961. If I could sum up all the causes of hurt, pain and hatred in one word, it's just expectation!

1962. Quote of the day: The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong. - Gandhi.

1963. The art of being happy lies in the power of finding happiness in ordinary things. Life does not force us to be the best, it only asks that we try. Good evening!

1964. Destiny is not a matter of chance, it is a matter of choice. It is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved.

1965. Uncertainty is inevitable, but worrying is optional. Pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional. Good people go through trials, but don't suffer. With that experience, their life becomes better, not bitter. Good morning!

1966. Do not look back and grieve over the past, for it is gone; and don't be troubled about the future, for it has not yet come. Live in the present and make it so beautiful that it will be worth remembering.

1967. Six pieces of advice from Iman Ghazali: Closest to us is not family but death. Furtherest from us is not the moon or stars, but time passed. Biggest is not the mountain or sun, but our lust/desire. Heaviest weight is not the elephant or iron, but responsibility. Lightest is neither wind or feathers, but not praying or delaying it. Sharpest is neither knife nor sword, but our tongue. Think about these words of wisdom.

1968. Sometimes, we need to forget about the people from our past, because there must have been a good reason why they didn't make it to our future.

1969. What is the secret of happiness? I found the answer in my home. The wall says be strong. The ceiling says aim high. The door says be open. The window says learn to give and take. The clock says time is gold. The calendar says love everyday as if it is the last day. The cabinet says keep things in order. The bed says take time to relax. The lamps says be the light. And God, who is found everywhere in my house says "Keep the faith because I'm with you always."

1970. In life, we always search for answers because we want to prove ourselves that we had the right decisions but the truth is we can't search for what is not there. Things happen because it is meant to happen. That's why we forgive people even if they hurt us, we love people who don't love us and we smile despite every painful crash in our hearts. At the end of the day, the lesson you get are the answers to your decisions Good morning!

1971. It's hard to say hello because there might be goodbye. It's hard to say I'm ok because sometimes, I'm not. But it is easy to say "Good morning!" because there is always tomorrow. Good morning!

1972. When you think of your past love, you may view it as a failure. But when you find a new love, you view the past as a teacher. In the game of love, it doesn't really matter who won or who lost. What's important is you know when to hold on, when to let go, and sometimes when to give up. You know you really love someone when you want that person to be happy even if his happiness means you're not part of it. Everything happens for the best. Love is a lifetime venture in which we are always learning, discovering and growing.

1973. It's easy to fall for someone. How? You look at the person. Stop. Smile. Then tell yourself this: I may find a thousand others who laugh the same way, smile the same way and even talk the same way. But I'l never find someone who makes every heart beat worth every thump, rush and every release. If you have someone who makes you feel that way, go ahead, fall.

1974. Trouble is part of your life. If you don't share it, you don't give the person who loves you a chance to love you enough.

1975. Something to ponder: It is wrong to think that love comes from long companionship and persevering courtship. Love is the offspring of spiritual affinity and unless that affinity is created in a moment, it will not be created for years or even generations.

1976. Friendship should not be like breasts because it sucks. Not like v*gina, because it gets f*cked. It should be like p*nis because it stands whenever needed. =)

1977. Mom and girl are watching a movie. Suddenly, there's a love scene. Girl: Mom, what are they doing? Mom: Oh, they're baking. Girl: Ok. Then in the morning. Girl: Mom, I know you and dad are baking last night! Mom: How did you know? Girl: I tasted the frosting on the couch! Eeeoowww!

1978. What is the difference between a girlfriend, a call girl, a wife and a maid? Quite simply, post paid, pre paid, unlimited and pasaload!

1979. You are attractive, gorgeous, sexy, intelligent, smart, charming, sophisticated, kind and generous. In fact, you are becoming more like me everyday!

1980. Lady complaining to a dentist. Lady: It's so painful, I'd rather have a baby than have a tooth extracted. Dentist: Decide now, so I can adjust the chair accordingly!

1981. Cow story. USA has cowboy. England has mad cow. China has macow. Russia has Moscow. And the Philippine government tops them all, it has all kinds of magnanacow!

1982. Four stages in life. 1. You believe in Santa Claus. 2. You don't believe in Santa Claus. 3. You are Santa Claus. 4. You look like Santa Claus!

1983. Wife: Do you have any idea what would happen to you if I die? Husband: I might also die. Wife: (blushes) Why? Husband: Sometimes, too much happiness causes death! =)

1984. If ever you have any problem, come to me, I'll help you. If you don't have any problem, come to me anyway. I'll create some for you!

1985. You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is never try! - Homer Simpson.

1986. A bride at her second wedding does not wear a veil. She wants to see what she's getting. Bwahahaha!

1987. I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be the reason why my wife treats me like toxic waste!

1988. Buddhist monk buys hotdog in New York and gives a $100 bill. Monk: Where's my change? Vendor: Change must come from within.

1989. Do not do unto others if you don't want others do unto you. Tagalog version: Huwag kayong ganyan, kung magganyan kayo, huwag ganun! Oo nga naman! Hahaha!

1990. Isang araw. Babae: Mahal, anong tawag sa isang asawa na sexy, maganda, hindi selosa, mapagmahal, masipag, mapagkalinga, magaling at masarap magluto? Lalaki: Guni-guni. =)

1991. Kapag iniwan ka ng mahal mo at ipinagpalit ka sa iba, sabihin mo, "Mas cute pa ipinalit mo sa akin? Aba! Dapat lang, kasi, kung pangit yan, baka sumabog kayo!!!"

1992. May sagot ako sa isa sa mga tanong mo sa buhay. Maaaring hindi ito mahalaga pero makakagaan ito sa kalooban mo. Alam mo ba na 54 ang butas ng Skyflakes? =)

1993. Bisaya teacher: Class, I want you to watch Sex Scenes! Class: What?! Teacher: What's wrong? It's beatipul pilm starring Bruce Welles. Class: Ahh! Sixth Sense!

1994. Man: Bago po ako umawit ay pwede ko po bang ihandog ko ang aking awitin sa aking biyenan? Emcee: Ok. Ihandog mo na. Man: Ang awitin ko pong ito ay buong puso kong inihahandog sa aking mahal na biyenan. Emcee: Eh ano naman ang kakantahin mo? Man: Devil Woman.

1995. Teacher: Juan, use euthanasia in a sentence. Juan: Yes, ma'am. Ahh, The girl is no longer a virgin because na iyotan na sya.

1996. Each of us are like butterflies with one wing. The only way we can fly is to hold each other and share wings. So, if you have no wings at all, it means, baka higad ka pre!

1997. Jun: Sir, si Mike, buong araw na walang ginawa. Boss: Talaga? Paano mo nalaman? Jun: Sir, maghapon ko syang pinagmasdan!

1998. Piglet sat beside Pooh and whispered: Pooh? Pooh: Yes, Piglet. Piglet: Nothing! Piglet took Pooh's hand and added: Mas mataba ka pa sa akin, ikaw dapat ang Piglet! Toink!

1999. May bagong produkto ang Eng Bee Tin Hopia factory. Ang produkto: "Hope-Yap" Specially produced ito at mabibili sa lahat ng Vicky Belo Clinics!

2000. Sexy chick: Pangarap kong magkaanak. Pichay: Pangarap kong tuparin ang mga pangarap mo. Hehehe. Itanim ang kay Pichay!


Contributors:
1951, 1971: Irish
1952, 1967-1968: Eroica
1953-1956, 1960-1966, 1972-1987, 1991-1999: Asha (+63917898***7)
1957-1958: Shawie (+63921406***9)
1959: Joy (+63910727***1)
1969-1970, 1988-1990, 2000: Abet (+63917866***0)

text messages 1901 - 1950

1901. Life is like music. It has high notes and low notes. No matter how high or low your notes may be, keep in tune with God and you'll never go out of tune in the music of life. Good morning!

1902. The best way to bring focus into your life is to never place a question mark where God has put a period. Good day! God bless.

1903. Let the blessings of God flow in your life like springs of living water of rivers that never run dry. God cares for you today, tomorrow and for always. Good morning!

1904. As you go through this day, praise God for the gift of life and the magic of love that binds family and friends who nourish our hearts and bring us real joy. Good morning!

1905. Begin your day with a short prayer. "Lord, walk with me today, I have no idea what lies before me. Be my strength to make the most of in and use it to Your glory." Good morning!

1906. Here is the weather forecast today: There shall be shower of blessings all over you and a heavy downpour of God's love all around you. Have a great day ahead!

1907. If you walk 1000 miles away from God, you will only need one step backward to get to Him because He always follows you wherever you go and loves you whatever you do.

1908. All the village people decided to pray for the rain to come. On the day of prayer, only 1 boy came with an umbrella. That's faith.

1909. Life never seems to be the way we want it, but we should live it the best way we can. There's no perfect life, but we can fill it with perfect moments.

1910. Smile at insults, laugh away anger and your soul will forever be at peace. Remember the line on Princess Diaries? No one can ever hurt you without your consent. Good morning!

1911. After a while, you just can't cry anymore. You just have to believe that what happens is what supposed to happen, and well, you can't change that, even if you tried. So just dry the tears and hope tomorrow will be a better day.

1912. It doesn't matter if the song of life that you sing is simple or complicated. All that matters is how much you put into that song. Your life is controlled only by what you give to it. You won't get anything from it if you don't put feeling into life. That's why people fall in love. If they give that feeling, they get it back. Put all you've got into this life, and when the day comes for you to pass on, you won't regret what you did.

1913. In life, you are given certain chances, you have to make certain choices. A choice that may change your life. If given a chance, would you rather be wrong but happy? Or right but sad?

1914. Accept that some days you are the pigeon, and on some days you are the statue.

1915. On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.

1916. Needing someone is like a parachute, if he isn't there the first time you need him, chances are you won't be needing him again.

1917. Never argue with an idiot. They will drag you down to their level then beat you with experience!

1918. You won't fully enjoy a swing unless you raise your feet from the ground. You won't fully enjoy a boat ride unless you remove the rope's knot from the river bank. Your dog won't fully enjoy his/her dog's life unless you remove the chain on his/her neck. Lesson: Never ever limit yourself when it comes to happiness. Learn how to let go and move on. Life is beautiful.

1919. Chicken Soup for today: Emotional stress greatly affects our lives. It's always lethargic and everyone's vulnerable. Always have your emotions in constant check. Reconcile misunderstandings and clear ugly thoughts. Free your mind from cluttered emotions. Never leave space for doubtful feelings. A light heart is more efficient in work, love and to other things.

1920. Other people's opinion of you does not have to become your reality. Those who follow the crowd usually get lost in it. I don't know the key to success, but one key to failure is to please everyone. So why waste your time thinking about what others will tell you? Instead, do what makes you and God happy. Good morning!

1921. Everyday, find out who you are, and be that. Decide what comes first, and do that. Discover your strengths, and use them. Learn not to compete with others, because no one else is in the contest of being you. You are fearfully and wonderfully made and there's only one you in the world.

1922. It was fun chasing an illusiOn, it gave me reason to be happy, even if it wasn't real, but any chase surely has to end. I'm just disappointed 'cOz when it did end.. I was left with nothing bUt a memory of something that never existed.

1923. Love is like the rain. It gently pours but sometimes it's raging fast. BUt why is the rain so special? Because like love, you can feel it. But you can't stOp it.

1924. It is hard to love someone who can never be yours. Time would give you chances to talk, chances to be together, chances to share. See how it hurts? You only have chances. Just chances!

1925. Do not think that love in order to be genuine has to be extraordinary. What we need is to love without getting tired.

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If you are undecided on which phone to buy, they provide a step-by-step PhoneFinder. This is a cool tool where you are given a selection of Phone Features you want, the type of Coverage you want (whether Dualband, Triband or Quadband), the type of Opening (whether Flip, Slide or Rotate), Color selections and Network Selection. Given those data, the PhoneFinder will recommend the best phone that matches your criteria! That's cool! That's a neat tool for finding the cellphones you need online.

Another thing that I found out, you can find some cellphones with Free Gifts! Like a Nokia 6111 or a Samsung E900 with a free PSP Playstation or Xbox 360. Currently, I see 75 cellphones with free gifts on their lists!

So, if you are planning to buy a new cellphone in the UK, why don't you visit their website and get the best mobile phone deals online? Happy cellphone shopping!

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1926. Isa ka sa mga taong malapit sa puso ko. Pero tulad nila, bihira ka lang makaalala. Pero di ako nalulungkot, kasi, hindi ka man magparamdam, alam kong nandyan ka lang, nangungulangot!

1927. If heaven had a place to display its most wonderful creatures, malamang, sa pintuan pa lang, nakadisplay na ang portrait mo. Pero syempre, katabi ng rebulto ko!

1928. Friends tayo kaya kung may problema ka, sasamahan kita. Magprosisyon ka, sasamahan kita. Magnovena ka, sasamahan kita. Magdasal ka, sasamahan kita. Magpapako ka sa krus, pipicturan kita!

1929. Mahirap magpretend na happy if sad ka. Hirap magpretend na kaya mo, if nasasaktan ka. Pero kung tayo, magpretend na ugly, grabe, mas mahirap! Walang maniniwala, kalungkot no?

1930. PANGIT mo! P-erfect, A-ttractive, N-ice, G-orgeous, I-ntelligent, T-ulad ko! Naks! Nakangiti na sya pero nung una, nakasimangot sya! Hehehe.

1931. Barkada, on game sa inuman. Always present sa katarantaduhan, ready to fight sa awayan! Kaya sira man ang ulo nating lahat, mga tol! Til death do us part, walang iwanan ha!

1932. Real classmates never leave each other, never part, they just sit silently, deep with each other's heart saying, "May quiz, lakihan mo ang sulat mo ha. Times New Roman, 64"

1933. An ideal guy doesn't have bad vices, doesn't engage in one night stand, doesn't make promises he can't keep, doesn't flirt and lie. In short, he doesn't exist. Walang ganon, asa ka pa!

1934. Ang relationship ay parang spaghetting kinakain natin, at ang cheese ay ang sex. Na kahit wala ito, pwede mo pa rin syang kainin, lalo na kung love na love mo ito. Ang cheese, bonus na lang yun. Eventually, kapag nanamnam mo ang sauce ng relationship, you'll realize na ang cheese is quite important lang at hindi very, just like sex, kasi, kung cheese lang ang gusto mong matikman sa spaghetti, sana, lumamon ka na lang ng isang keso de bola. It makes sense, di ba?

1935. We are all driving in a world called life. In every turn, don't forget to stop because, baka may gwapo/maganda! Sayang boy/girl! Pacute muna tayo!

1936. Buhay natin? Maiksi lang! Hindi mo alam kung anong dapat mong gawin bago ka mawala, kaya bago mahuli ang lahat, sasabihin ko na sa iyo. Pinasaya mo ang buhay ko, kahit medyo ginulo mo! :)

1937. Guro: Ikaw Juan, saan makikita ang Mayon Volcano? Juan: Aba! Malay ko sir! Kayo itong burara, kung saan-saan nyo nilalagay tapos kapag di nyo makita, sa akin nyo hahanapin! Umayos ka sir!

1938. Sweet dreams, but not too sweet, baka langgamin ka! Sleep tight, but not so tight, baka di ka makahinga! Good night, but not too good, baka tanghaliin ka ng gising! Hehehe.

1939. Kumusta na? Ask ko lang, meron ka bang alam na pampalaglag? Please textback ASAP. Kinakabahan kasi ako. Baka kasi buntis si muning! Dadami na naman ang pusa namin!

1940. Tatay: Isa sa mga anak natin ang kumuha ng pera sa wallet ko! Nanay: Sobra ka, bakit mo pinagbibintangan ang mga bata? Malay mo, ako ang kumuha! Tatay: Sure akong hindi ikaw, may natira eh!

1941. Not everyone may understand the real me, some may hate me, while others may love the way I am. For all of that, ito lang ang masasabi ko: Salamat sa mahal ako at paki ko sa hindi ako gusto!

1942. Mga gatas ng babae: Dalagita - fresh. Dalaga - pasteurized. Bagong kasal - skimmed. Tagal nang kasal - yogurt. Matandang dalaga - taho. Lola - tokwa!

1943. Man: Ale, magkano ho yang sa inyo? Prosti: Dalawang libo lang. Man: Ano? Ang mahal naman nya, eh ang tanda nyo na! Prosti: Gago ka pala eh! Kelan pa naging mura ang antique?!

1944. Idelete mo dyan ang number ko! Traidor ka pala! Hehehe, practice lang. Sige, try mong idelete, aahitin ko ang kilay mo. Hehehe. Forward mo sa iba, para magulat din sila.

1945. Sexy: Those are all my sins father. I hope God will forgive me. Priest: He does, my child. Pero ikwento mo nga ulit yung tungkol sa blow job at 69! Dali!

1946. Kung kasalanan mang maging maganda/gwapo, sunog na ang kaluluwa ko sa impyerno!

1947. Noon, ang tawag sa taong walang hiya, Makapal! Tapos, naging Garapal! Ngayon, iba na ang tawag! Macapagal!

1948. Geben dis chans to, u noh! Ah.. deleber dis, ah.. prebeleds ispits, onang ona, u noh! to be hir and ah! da problem is u noh, it's ok naman. i, i.. ano, I pil gud todey, pers of ol, I sikan di mowsyon! I don't noh hu is terd. tenk yo! dats ol, mester espeker! - Congressman Manny Pacquiao.

1949. In a relationship, you should be honest. If you can't be honest, just be careful! :) - James Yap.

1950. Tuwang tuwa si Congressman Pichay sa survey ng Malacañang kasi no. 4 na siya! Ito ang top 3: 1. Talong. 2. Kalabasa. 3. Sitaw. Pichay! Iulam sa Senado =)

Contributors:
1901-1906, 1911-1917, 1925-1929, 1939-1949: Asha(+63917898***7)
1907, 1921: Arnel
1908-1910, 1932: Joy (+63910727***1)
1918-1919, 1934: Erica
1920, 1938: Shawie (+63921406***9)
1922-1923: Anatole Vallejos (via email)
1924, 1933: Starfish
1930, 1937 : Tekla
1931: 2Phe (+63910863***8)
1935-1936: Irish
1950. Abet (+63917866***0)