Oct 29, 2007

text messages 3101 - 3150

This post is brought to you by PRC Board Exam Results

3101. People may not reward you or thank you for your actions, but when Christ is your reason for serving, you receive an even greater blessing in return.

3102. If you are continually being defeated by everything you face, your heart has departed from God. Examine your heart. Choose to listen to God, then obey what He tells you. No matter what you face, you will experience victory! God bless.

3103. The hands of God draw you close, hold you near and embrace you forever. May your heart be assured today of how very precious You are to Him. Good evening!

3104. The seeds of greatness are in you. God never created you to be nobody but a real somebody. He values you so much and loves you more than you ever know. Blessed Sunday ahead!

3105. Knowledge without wisdom is a load of books on a fool's back. - Japanese proverb.

3106. Here comes another time for rest, time for dreams. Hope you wake up tomorrow with the spirit more promising than today! Good night!

3107. Life is a mixture of sunshine and rain, teardrops and laughter, pleasure and pain. Just remember, there was never a cloud that the sun couldn't shine through.

3108. The Don'ts to Remember: Don't wait for time. Make it. Don't wait for love. Feel it. Don't wait for money. Earn it. Don't wait for the path. Hack it. Don't wait for opportunity. Create it. Don't go for less. Get the best. Don't compare. Be unique. Don't avoid failure. Use it. Don't dwell on mistakes. Learn from them. Don't back down. Go around. Don't close your eyes. Open your mind. Don't run from life. Embrace and enjoy it. Don't just read this. Share it!

3109. Why Math has been hated by some? Because it requires them to think and forces them to give the correct and exact value. Because it has a clear distinction of right and wrong. Most people love to speak about any issue but hate to accept that they're wrong. That's the beauty of Math. Right is right and wrong is wrong.

3110. Competence goes beyond words. It's the ability of the leader to say it, plan it and do it in such a way that others know that you know how, and know that they want to follow. - J. Maxwell.

3111. We met each other by chance, become friends by choice, still friends by decision, and when we say friends forever, that's definitely a lifetime. Promise! Friends forever?

3112. As a kid, I loved big gifts. But I bloomed learning that the best gifts come in small boxes. Like you, I may just have a litle time with you, but your gift of friendship is the one I'm thankful for.

3113. As the sky breaks into a beautiful sunrise, may God open the heaven to shower you lots of love, happiness and make your day a truly meaningful one. Good morning.

3114. When I look back on the time we met, I realized what a blessing your existence has been. Though we haven't been spending much time together, I thank God for bringing You into my life. Good morning!

3115. It's an achievement to make a thousand friends in a lifetime. Yet, the real achievement is to keep a friend for a lifetime! Good evening.

3116. Friendship, like marriage, there are ups and downs. You just have to get through it. That's why when you need me, I'll be there, and even if you don't need me, I'll be standing still, waiting for you to be needing me again.

3117. The best love has been found in the world of friendship. It is the kind of love that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more; that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds. And that's what you have given me. And that's what I'd hope to give you now and forevermore. Have a nice morning, dude!

3118. If there's some magic in this world, it must be in the attempt of understanding someone else, sharing something.

3119. Setting someone free is the hardest thing to do, but it's not tears you cried that makes it so hard, it's the small piece of hope left inside your heart that someday, you'll still end up together.

3120. When you look for a job, it shouldn't only the salary to count. We must consider the job, if that's what we want, because there's less chance you'll be efficient if you don't like what you do. Same goes in love, don't push yourself to love somebody only for the sake of having someone in your life. Otherwise, less is the chance you can work it out.

3121. The Lakehouse: What if you waited for your special someone your whole life and later on learn that no one is waiting for you? True love is worth taking chances for. Sometimes, you don't know why things work out, they just do.

3122. Someone said to me, "I love you." I sneezed, then I replied, "Sorry, I'm allergic to talkshits and lies." :)

3123. A relationship between two persons is like a house. When a light bulb burns out, you do not go and buy a new house. You fix the light bulb!

3124. The key to succeeding in marriage is not finding the right person; it's learning to love the person you found. Sustaining love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it takes wisdom. You have to know what to do to make your marriage work. Love in marriage is a decision, not just a feeling.

3125. All relationships have this law: Never make your loved one feel alone while you are there.



3126. Love for someone sometimes doesn't worth fighting for and doesn't worth risking for, only if that someone doesn't really have no feeling of love for you at all.

3127. If a woman were to love again, she'd better pick a bachelor. Because a married man had already found his only one true love - his wife. And the only thing he could give to you is half of what he has. One half is lust and the other half is lies. Who knows you have the wrong half? But either half can do no good to you.

3128. If a married man tells you that he loves you more than his wife, think twice; but if he tells you he loves you and not his wife, better think a hundred times.

3129. You cannot really feel the yearning, the love, even if he tells you once, twice, or a hundred times, if there's no love, there's no really love.

3130. To love someone sometimes is worth taking a few steps backward (maybe even more) especially when it happens that you're not supposed to be there. To give way to the happiness of the person you love the most.

3131. You're driving a car at steady speed. On your left is a drop off and on your right is a fire engine going at same speed you are. In front is a galloping horse the same size as your car so you can't overtake. Behind is a galloping zebra. What must you do to get out of this dangerous situation? Get off the Merry-Go-Round!

3132. When a man brings his wife flowers for no reason, there's a reason!!! :)

3133. A salesman, tired of his job, gave it up to become a policeman. Several months later, a friend asked him how he liked his new role. "Well," he replied, "the pay is good and the hours aren't bad, but what I like best is that the customer is always wrong." :)

3134. Man: How much is the fee for an annulment? Lawyer: P100000. Man: I only paid P1000 when I got married! Lawyer: Freedom, my friend, is always expensive!

3135. Women are more verbal than men. That's why when you see an elderly couple together, it's always the man who's wearing the hearing aid.

3136. Thought of the day: Married men live longer than single men but married men are a lot more willing to die. Nyahaha! :)

3137. Thought of the day: Men are like a deck of cards. You'll find the occasional king, but most are jacks.

3138. It's sad how busy we can get sometimes and forget to keep in touch with each other. But I want you to know that nothing's changed. I still look great!

3139. Ang kaibigan, parang movie! May action, may comedy, may drama, may horror at may love story! Pero kung ikaw ang bida, ahh, alam ko yan. Sure ako, scandal yan! hehehe.

3140. Romantic Acronyms: HOLLAND - Hope Our Love Lasts And Never Dies. ITALY - I Trust And Love You. LIBYA - Love Is Beautiful, You Also. CHINA - Come Here, I Need Affection. INDIA - I Nearly Died In Adoration. KENYA - Keep Everything Nice Yet Arousing. YEMEN - Yugyugan Every Morning, Every Night. JAPAN - Jump And Play All Night. at ang pinakabongga, PHILIPPINES - Pumping Hot I Love It, Please, Please, I Need Erotic Stimulation!

3141. Akala ko, akin na sya. Kasi, sabi nya, mahal nya ako. Kaya akala ko, forever, kami na! Pero nung sinabi nya na ayaw na nya, narealize ko na "Kahit maganda, iniiwan din pala!"

3142. Makabagong katotohanan. Ang mayaman e palit nang palit ng cellphone. Ang medyo mayaman e palit nang palit ng cellphone cover. Ang nagmamayaman naman e palit nang palit ng ringtone!

3143. No matter how strong we hold on, still, there comes a time when we must fall. - Mula sa isang tuko.

3144. Inday: Magpapaalam na po ako. Uuwi na po ako sa probinsya. Ma'am: Nagpaalam ka na ba sa sir mo? Inday: Nauna na po sya. Doon na daw po kami titira. Bye!

3145. Beauty pageant. Judge: What if you found out your boyfriend has AIDS, what will you do? Contestant: I'll still love him. (Everybody claps).. Because AIDS doesn't matter! Hirit pa kasi eh.

3146. Sa panahon na hindi ako nakakapagtext, huwag mong isipin na hindi ako nagtext. Nagtext ako, hindi lang nasend, kasi, wala akong load. Pero nagtext ako!!!

3147. Tatay: Anak, kain na, hinanda ko ang paborito mong ulam. Anak: Talaga, tay? Tatay: Hulaan mo, clue, may chop sa dulo! Anak: Ah, porkchop! Paborito ko nga! Tatay: Ketchop anak!

3148. Minsan, napadaan ako sa harap ng sobrang sweet na lovers. Ayun, nauso ang "break-up".

3149. You know, I know that he will box me that's why you know, I never self-confidence on him and box him back also that why you know it's back to back. - Manny Pacquiao.

3150. Tinatamad ka bang dalawin ang iyong loved ones sa sementeryo? Text DALAW ON at i-send sa 2666. Sila mismo ang dadalaw sa iyo. Text na! Visit my old post for more halloween text messages.


Contributors:

3101-3113, 3118-3123, 3131-3137, 3139-3145, 3147-3149: Asha (+63917898***7)
3114: Naysli
3115, 3138, 3146: Anonymous (+63920801***3)
3116-3117, 3126-3130: Dudai (+63920209***2)
3124-3125, 3150: Eroica

Oct 17, 2007

text messages 3051 - 3100

3051. When God gives you one important thing in life, never hold it too tight so when He asks you to give it back, it's easy to let go without hurting so bad.

3052. Sometimes, you have to fight for something to make everything alright. You give your best and you give your all, yet, you still lose. But if ever you get tired, tell Jesus, He'll take the fight and win it all with you!

3053. God's love is a candle in the dark. No matter how gloomy our life may be, just one little touch of His love is enough to bring warmth and light. God bless.

3054. Good things you've done will never be lost, your kind act takes root and every bit of love you show will come right back to you. For God knows you have a good heart. God bless. Good morning!

3055. We may have struggles with God's timing and the mystery of His will in our lives but His promise stands. He will make everything beautiful in His time. Good morning!


3056. If you walk 1000 miles away from God, you will only need one step backward to get to him because He always follows you wherever you go and whatever you do. He still loves you. Good morning!

3057. Jesus will knock on the door of your heart today, looking for a place to stay. The moment you see Him, let Him in, offer Him the best room in your heart.

3058. God's love is the voice when you can't speak, the strength when you are weak, the hope when you are down, and the smile when you are sad. Stay happy!

3059. Sometimes we think we have so little and always wanting But if we start to appreciate the little things in life, we will find out that we have so much. So much of family and friends, so much of love and so much of God in our hearts.

3060. Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves. Do not seek the answers, which cannot be given now; rather, live the questions. All good things come to those who wait. Patience is the companion of wisdom. It is bitter, but its fruit is sweet. God bless.

3061. Sometimes, you need to experience everything so that you would learn. There's no easy way in living life so live it as it is. Cry. Laugh. Be crazy. And don't miss the chances that life is giving you because the most important things are not things at all. Most of the time, they are PEOPLE making your life worth living.

3062. Our envy always lasts longetr than the happiness of those we envy. - Heraclitus.

3063. "Special" is different from "important." Special - someone you'll never forget for the rest of your life. Important - someone you need for the rest of your life.

3064. Specific emotions weaken certain organs in the body. Anger weakens the liver, grief: lungs, worry: stomach, and fear: kidney. So stay happy and healthy!

3065. Thought of the day: A little kindness from person to person is better than a vast love for all humankind.

3066. Life is a rope that swings us through hope. Always believe that today is better than yesterday, and tomorrow will be much better than today. Have a nice week ahead!

3067. Sometimes when you sacrifice something precious, you're not really losing it. You're just passing it on to someone else. - The Five People You Meet In Heaven.

3068. Three reasons why laughing is good for your health: 1. Your heart - laughing lowers your blood pressure while increasing the amount of oxygen carried in your blood. 2. Your lungs - a deep belly laugh is like an internal aerobic workout, helping you breath more efficiently. 3. Your anxiety level - laughing lowers levels of the stress hormone cortisol, reducing tension. So take time to laugh even at the corniest joke!

3069. Unless your heart, your soul and your whole being are behind every decision you make, the words from your mouth will be empty and the actions will be meaningless. Truth and confidence are the roots of happiness. - Kathleen Pederson.

3070. To do good things in the world, first you must know who you are and what gives meaning to your life.- Paula P. Brownlee.

3071. It doesn't interest me if the story you're telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself; if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not to betray your own soul. If you can be faithful and therefore be trustworthy. If you can see beauty even when it's not pretty everyday. If you can source your life from God's presence. If you can live without failure, yours and mine, and still stand on the edge of lake and shout to the silver of full moon, "Yes!" - Oriah Mountain Dreamar, Indian elder.

3072. Better break your word than do wars in keeping it. - Thomas Fuller.

3073. To be loved is to live in someone's heart. Don't hold something in your arms that you are not willing to hold in your heart.

3074. I refused to believe in my instincts when I should have to believe it.

3075. Nobody is a victim, it's probably a self made; and to suffer sometimes is our own choice; the very fruit of our own actions.



3076. Keep your friends close, your enemies closer. - Michael Corleone,"The Godfather II"

3077. Popular opinion is the greatest lie. - Carlisle

3078. A long life may not be enough, but a good life is good enough.

3079. All truth is good, but not all truth is good to say.

3080. Anger is just one letter short from danger.

3081. To handle yourself, use your head. To handle others, use your heart.

3082. Revenge gets you even with your enemy, forgiving him/her puts you above him/her.

3083. Did you know that 92% of what we worry about never really happens? And the 8% left is usually manageable? Worrying is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do but it gets you nowhere. So, don't worry too much, things have a way of working out and what's meant to happen will happen. ;)

3084. I never think of the future - it comes soon enough. - Albert Einstein.

3085. If you're catching two rabbits, you will not catch either one. - Russian proverb.

3086. I don't have sympathy for the boy who cried wolf. Sometimes, liars have to learn the hardest way there is, because lying kills. - Empress.

3087. If there is something better than sharing with others the best of what you have, it is sharing with others the best of who you are. God bless!

3088. Walk this day with great confidence in your heart, for you have much to offer. A lot of people await the goodness and love that you carry within. Good morning and God bless!

3089. Fulfillment doesn't merely mean achieving your highest dream in life, but also living a life that has made the lives of others worth living. Good morning!

3090. Erap dreamed that he died and went to heaven. St. Peter gave him Ai-ai delas Alas as partner, saying, "Kung mabait ka sana, mas maganda ang partner mo." Erap saw Chavit with Gretchen Barretto and said, "Bakit si Chavit, mas madaming kasalanan, si Gretchen ang partner?" St. Peter: Iho, parusa yan kay Gretchen.

3091. "Give strong drink to those who are perishing, wine to those who are in anguish. Let them drink and remember their misery no more." Proverbs 31:6-7. Bible na yung nagsabi! Octoberfest na! :)

3092. Ako ay may lobo, lumipad sa langit, hindi ko na nakita, pumutok na pala, sayang lang pera ko, pambili ng lobo, kung lalaki sana, naaliw pa ako! :)

3093. Wives should be precise in giving orders to their maids. Example: "Inday, alis ako, pakainin mo si kuya mo bago sya pumasok!" Maid: Kuya! Kainin mo daw ako bago mo ipasok!

3094. What's in the number 7? Why is it God's perfect number? When in fact, 7 is an odd number. Just think, there are 7 days in a week, 7 wonders of the world. In the Bible, you must forgive a person 70 times 7. Even the word forgive has 7 letters. The rainbow has 7 colors and 7 letters. Even the word promise. Maybe, God designed it. For even the word mystery has 7 letters. Begin to see all the 7's in life. Use Olay Total Effects to fight the 7 signs of skin aging.

3095. The best rehab center is the vag!na. Lahat ng pumasok, hard headed, brusko, bully at tigasin. Paglabas, nanlalata, nalalambot, humble, with no sign of vengeance! Hehehe.

3096. Mga makabagong kasabihan! 1. Aanhin mo ang gwapo, kung mas malandi pa sa iyo. 2. Walang matinong lalake, sa malanding kumpare. 3. Wala nang hihigit pa sa malansang isda, kundi ang isang baklang balahura. 4. Sa hinaba-haba ng prosisyon, bading din pala ang karelasyon. 5. Ang tumatakbo ng matulin, may gwapong hahabulin! 6. Matalino man ang bading, napeperahan pa rin.

3097. Misis: Pinuyat mo ako kagabi! Mister: Bakit? Misis: Nagsasalita ka sa pagtulog. Puro pangalan ng babae. Lani, Joy, Beth, Samantha, Michelle, Hannah, Charisse, Rosemarie, Vivian... Mister: Paano ka naman napuyat? Misis: Kakahintay sa pangalan ko!

3098. Nagalit si Juan dahil puro Flor ang ipinangalan ng misis nya sa triplets nila. Juan: Paano mo ngayon tatawagin ang mga bata? Misis: Ang dali! First Flor, Second Flor, Third Flor!

3099. Ey guys! Sorry for the short notice, I'm leaving soon. I'm having my despedida party tomorrow, Saturday, 29th of September, 2007, at the hiphop VIP lounge, Embassy, The Fort. I just invited a few friends so your presence will be greatly appreciated. I will be at the VIP lounge by 10pm. I'm really looking forward to see you there because I want to spend my last days here in Manila with you guys! See yah! - Text ni Inday sa mga friends nya kasi magbabakasyon sya sa province.

3100. Man is the highest form of animal. He is made to be above all except God. So, no matter how high EAGLES soar, how FALCONS attack, how BULLDOGS bare, how agressive TIGERS are, how fast TAMARAWS run, they will always succumb to that one GREEN ARCHER, standing with his bow and arrow aimed to fire! What about the WARRIOR? The GREEN ARCHER just made a bull's eye! Animo La Salle!!! - reflection ni Inday sa UAAP Finals. Lasallista kasi ang anak ng amo nya!


Contributors:
3051-3068, 3091-3096: : Asha (+63917898***7)
3069-3075, 3097-3098: Dudai (+63920209***2)
3076-3086, 3099-3100: Eroica
3087-3090: Anonymous (+639208011793)

Oct 9, 2007

text messages 3001 - 3050

3001. Little prayers for little things fly heavenwards on little wings, and for all prayers great or small, God is there to read them all. Good night.

3002. We all are soldiers of God. So, when you feel tired, wounded, and weak, don't give up. The battle is at its peak. And in God's lead, we will always find victory.

3003. Heavy rains remind me of challenges in life. Never ask for lighter rain, just a better umbrella. Good day, enjoy life!

3004. Don't believe a word, a promise till it's done right before your eyes. But keep on believing, still a choice.

3005. To die and part is a less evil; but to part and live, there, there is the torment. - George Lansdowne

3006. As long as forever is through, I'll be over you. - Toto.

3007. Who knows what we live, and struggle, and die? Wise men write many books, in words too hard to understand. But this, the purpose of our lives, the end of all struggle,is beyond all human wisdom. - Allan Paton

3008. People takes different roads seeking fulfillment and happiness. Just because they're not on your road doesn't mean they've gotten lost. - H. Jackson Brown.

3009. There is only one way to happiness, and that is to cease worrying things which are beyond the power of will. - Epictecus.

3010. One's philosophy is not best expressed in words, it is expressed in the choices one makes, and the choices we make are ultimately our responsibility. - Eleanor Roosevelt.

3011. Why would I avoid those who hate me? When I could make their lives miserable just by existing. :)

3012. The greatest trick the devil has pulled, is to convince the world that he did not exist. - Keyser Soze

3013. True friends are like mornings, you can't have them the whole day but you can be sure that they'll be there when you wake up tomorrow, next year and forever. Thanks for being one of my beautiful sunrises. ;)

3014. Have you ever thanked friends for their smiles? Their hellos? Their taps on your back? Their way of calling your name? All of the little and simplest form of love? Small things usually go unnoticed, but in reality, they're the ones that keep us going! Thank you!

3015. The miracles in our lives are simply the making of a few loving friends who care much, love for real and see us so much beyond ourselves. Have a good morning!

3016. How are you today? A message from my heart, a place where I keep special people like you. Good morning!

3017. Sometimes, you need to hold a friend's hand, not for love, but for the comfort and security it brings. I got 2 hands and if anything goes wrong, I promise you'll have them both.

3018. It ain't the things you got, it ain't the things you do. It ain't the things you're not, it's because you are you. It ain't about wordly treasure, it ain't about a piece of art, it ain't about anything you can measure, it's about what's in your heart. What is it? It's a friend, tried and true. Dude, that's what I found in you.

3019. Few will have the greatness to bend love stories itself, but each one of us can work to change a portion of our hearts, and in the total of all those acts will be written deep in our souls.

3020. Oftentimes, you use your words to soothe someone else's feelings because you know only that words could shut that someone up even when you know in your heart you don't really mean it.

3021. Love is the only way to grasp another human being in the innermost core of his personality. - Victor Frankel

3022. Don't ever think that I don't miss you, because even when you're near beside me, I just can't get enough of you. So, what do I call it when you are far apart? Feel like dying to see and hold you again.

3023. People say I'm strong because I'm numb to any pain. Actually, it's my special technique. What they don't know is that I had to break my heart a million times just to master it.

3024. If your heart gets broken, it's not a sin to cry, it's not a crime to mourn, but it's not right to ruin your own life. Because in love, you should know when to move on if there's no reason to hold on.

3025. What should really count? Is it the time you find yourself smiling thinking of that person, giggling about the moments you've had with him/her? Or the time you found yourself crying because someone makes you so happy, it melts your heart? It's just simple... be with someone who knows what they have when they have you.



3026. The Law of Science: Nothing is displaced unless it is replaced. Translated into: The Law of Love: You'll fall out of love only if you fall for someone else.

3027. Life depends on the way you think. For example, read this: Mypenisinhermouth. What did you read? My pen is in her mouth. Or did your dirty mind read something else?

3028. A man found a genie who granted him 3 wishes. Genie was told to provide all things he lacked. Genie found that he had no water so he gave him water. Genie saw that he had no money, so he was given a bank. Genie then saw that he had no problem, genie gave him a wife. :)

3029. Men should be like Kleenex, soft, strong and disposable. :) By Cher, Men Are From Mars.

3030. Life is easier if we are not beautiful. But since we are, life is difficult!

3031. To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot even if you don't understand her at all!

3032. Please warn your male friends to be wary of a clever scam in Megamall parking where my friend himself was a victim. Two pretty 19-year old girls will approach you and ask for a ride Once inside the car, they start making love to each other and one will move up and perform oral sex on you while the other steals your wallet. He lost his wallet on Wednesday, Friday and twice this Saturday. He's going to buy more wallets tomorrow. Hehehe.

3033. A 50-year old lady is dying of cancer, asks God to give her 25 years more and God approves. After her successful operation, she gets facelift, lipo, tummytuck at paglabas nya ng hospital, nasagasaan sya! She asks God, "Lord, bakit sabi nyo, bibigyan nyo pa ako ng 25 years para mabuhay?" God: Sorry ha, hindi kita nakilala!

3034. Pinoy coping mechanism at work! A: Magkano po ang tinola? M: 20 lang. A: May sabaw? M: Libre na ang sabaw namin. A: Kanin, meron? M: 5 lang. A: May tutong? M: Libre na. A: Sige manong, tutong at sabaw nga!

3035. Kapag umutot ang Amerikano, "Excuse me." European, "Pardon me." Spanish, "Dispensa amigo." E kapag Filipino? "T*ng ina! Hindi ako yun! Mamatay na ang umutot! Denying ka talaga!"

3036. Pare1: Pre, tagayan mo pa ako. Nag-away kami ni misis eh. Pare2: Ha? Sinong nanalo? Pare1: Sabihin na lang natin na sa huli, nakaluhod syang lumapit sa akin. Pare2: Hahaha! Bossing ka pala. Anong sabi nya? Pare1: Lumabas ka dyan sa ilalim ng kama, duwag!!

3037. Teacher: Iha, talagang ganyan, kapag maganda, karaniwan bobo, kapag matalino, madalas, pangit, dapat matuto kang tanggapin yan. Iha: Salamat po ma'am, ang tali-talino nyo po talaga!

3038. Teacher: What's your name? Pupil: Earlyseven Strikeland po. Teacher: Fil-Am ka ba? Pupil: Hindi po. Yun po ang name ko sa English. Sa Tagalog po, Agapito Hampaslupa!

3039. I got hurt when people say bad things about you, that's why I defend you because I can't bear to see you in pain, so I tell them. Ano ba kayo? Hindi sya yung nasa sex video, mas magaling sya dyan!

3040. Sabi nila, suplada daw ako, makulit at pasaway pa daw. Sabi ko naman sa kanila, get to know me first, tapos kapag nakilala na nyo ako, ehem! Bawal ang mainlove ha! :)

3041. Ano ang nagpasikat kay Erap? Wristband. Ano ang magpapayaman kay Abalos? Broadband. Ano ang magpapabagsak kay GMA? Husband!

3042. DPWH discovered cause of flooding in Metro Manila. It's because the only pumping stations working are in the motels! Barado pa ng condoms yung mga inodoro. Hehehe.

3043. Ang pag-ibig, kahit masakit, masaya rin. Kiss dito, yakap doon. I love you dito, I miss you doon. Pero kapag nakahanap ng iba at iniwanan ka na, magiging Emperador dito, Redhorse doon! Matador dito, San Mig doon! Punyeta dito, tangna doon! Masaya, di ba? Sa huli, para kang tanga na iiyak dito, tapos, suka doon!

3044. What is the similarity between skirt and sky? Answer: Sky covers the whole population and skirt covers the source of population. Hehehe.

3045. Sabi nila, ang buhay ay puno ng pagsubok. Ang sabi ko naman, ah, ok!

3046. Nanay: Anak, bumili ka nga ng asin. Anak: Ayoko po, madilim na, takot ako! Nanay: Huwag kang matakot, kasama mo angel mo! Anak: Eh di sya na lang ang utusan mo, dala-dalawa pa kami!

3047. Namatay si Juan, napuntang impyerno. Satan: Saan mo gusto, 1st door or second door? 1st door, hanggang leeg ang tae. Juan: Ayoko dyan! Satan: Second door, hanggang tuhod ang tae at nagkakape ang mga tao. Juan: Dito na lang ako, may kape pa! (Pumasok) Sumigaw ang bantay na demonyo: "O, balik na sa dating position, tapos na ang coffee break, higa na!"

3048. In 1998, government doctors distributed condoms to Igorots in the Mountain Province for birth control. Kahapon lang, sumulat ang isa, "Pwede na bang tanggalin?!"

3049. I hate how coffee turns into an addiction and how it keeps you up all night. How it burns and makes your heart beat fast. Especially how it makes you crave for its rich and sweet promises of grains, milk and sugar. Moments later, it puts you into melancholic mood of coldness and before you realize, it has consumed you even before you have consumed it. Empty. Hollow. Bitter. Then again, you crave for another cup. Just like love. - Inday, nag-eemote sa Starbucks.

3050. Sir: Inday, wala ang Ma'am mo, dun tayo sa kwarto! Inday: What?! Are you nuts?! For your information sir, I intend to reserve my virginity for the person I truly love. If you think I'm an easy to get cheap slut, well, you're barking at the wrong tree. And will you please act like a professional because you're so eww! If I hear anymore filthy words coming from your mouth, I will not hesitate to take legal action! Sir: Leche, maarte ka! Inday: Joke lang, Sir naman, tara na sa taas! :)

Contributors:
3001-3003, 3013-3016, 3023-3025, 3028, 3036-3049: Asha (+63917898***7)
3004-3010, 3018-3022: Dudai (+63920209***2)
3011-3012, 3026-3027, 3031, 3050: Eroica
3017: Joy (+63910727***1)
3032: Nicely
3033-3034: Anonymous (+63920801***3)
3035: Precious (+88691023***4)