451. You may have someone in your heart and in your mind, you may have someone in your dreams and someone in your life but I am your someone when you have no one.
452. A real friend not only goes out with you anywhere you go but also remembers you no matter how busy they are, who takes their time to say, "Hi Friend"
453. I wish I was a tear in your eyes so that I can roll down on your cheeks, touch lips and die happy but if you were a tear in my eyes, I will try hard not to cry coz I'm afraid to lose you.
454. You told me you miss me, but you don't. You told me you care for me but you don't. You told me I'm special but I'm not. Then you told me the truth that you don't love me, I smiled and said, "I know."
455. Alone? I'll be your shadow. Afraid? Stay behind me. Wanna cry? Here's my shoulder. Need a hug? I'll embrace you tightly and say, "Whatever happens, you have me."
456. Why do I text you? It's my choice. It's my way of saying I remember you. Why do I remember you? It's my choice. It proves that I care. Why do I care? I don't know, it's not my choice but my heart's.
457. People like you are found only once in a lifetime. I want to be sure that I'm not going to spend that lifetime looking for another you! I'm happy I met you!
458. I want my eyes to be your eyes so you could see how wonderful you are, I want my heart to be your heart so you could feel how much you mean to me, and I want my ear to be your ear so you could hear me whisper "I love you."
459. We are like pencils, the best part in us is inside, we make marks as we touch other's lives. when we make mistakes, we can erase and we become better as we are sharpened.
460. In love, never put yourself on a situation where you're not sure where you stand in a person's life. Never assume, never expect, so that if they choose to drop you, you have enough strength to move on.
461. I love you so much but you said we're better off as friends. I cried but it didn't help much coz' you love someone new and because of her, you forgot that you once said you love me too. =(
462. Stay humble, be faithful, offer hope, work diligently, fight fairly, live simply, love deeply, give generously, they say, "Bwisit! Kaya ko ba toh?" :)
463. One night the moon said "If he makes you cry then why don't you leave him?" I paused for awhile then looked back at the moon and said "Moon, would you ever leave your sky?"
464. Love is not blind. It sees but it does not mind.
465. Question: Why do Dracula's neighbors hate him? Answer: Because he is a pain in the neck!
466. Are you curious as to where was Viagra originated from? For sure a Filipino coined the word “Viagra”. Just examine the root word.
467. Brand statements of new condoms: Swift condoms - Mighty meaty! Purefoods - Tender juicy! Barney's - A bite full of fun! Max's condoms- Sarap to the bones!
468. 7 days makes 1 week; 7 days of sex makes 1 weak; but no sex in a week makes 1 sick; however, good sex once a week makes 1 seek.
469. Dear God, thank you for making me healthy. Can you also make me sexy? If not, please make all my friends fat. Amen!
470. How good are you in Math? 2/7 + 9- 5/ 4/ 8- 2/ 5- 4/ 12- 8/2. The question: Sa palagay mo, relatives si Fernando Jose at Fernando Poe?
471. How can a woman tell if she’s flat chested? She looks down on her dress and the two bumps she sees are her knees.
472. Sincere apology: If you do not like to read my SMS or don’t like to read or if my messages disturb you, then please don’t hesitate, feel free to throw your cellphone!
473. A Thai surnamed Mongkikimo commited suicide when his Pinay girlfriend Paquita wouldn’t marry him. The girl could not bear her family name “Paquita Mongkikimo”.
474. A true friend is like the shade of a great tree in the noonday heat. Para kang puno ng kampupot.
475. According to Science, man came from monkeys. I beg to disagree. Bakit ikaw, mukhang kabayo?!
477. I’m restless, I’m depress, I’m lonely, I’m sad and I'm getting crazy all for just two reasons: Narito ako sa gitna ng kagubatan, nag-iisa, tapos low bat pa ang cell ko! nakakabaliw, ‘di ba?!
478. Nurse: Ilan ho ang anak ninyo inang? Patient: 25 po. Nurse: Sus ginoo, ang dami naman! ‘di ka ba gumamit ng pills, condom, iud, withdrawal? Patient: krus my hart, ti** lang talaga!
479. Maganda ka sa tingin ko, mabango ka sa pang-amoy ko, special ka sa puso ko. Kapag ako’y binigo mo, "bilog ang mundo" ang katapat mo.
480. BOY: Pa-good night kiss naman. GIRL: Cheap mo ha, hindi ako nagpapa-kiss sa first date. BOY: E kung sa last date?
481. Ang puso, napapagod din, napapagod maghintay, napapagod magtiis, napapagod magmahal at napapagod ding masaktan. Pagod ka na ba? Pahinga ka muna, hindi naman kailangan na magdamag ang romansa, ‘di ba?
482. JUAN: Pinsan, bumili ako ng hearing aid. PEDRO: Magkano insan? JUAN: Eh, kahapon lang.
483. Patient: Dok, bakit ang tae ko may kasamang plema? Kinakabahan tuloy ako. Dok: ok lang ‘yan. Mas delikado kung pagsinga mo ay may kasamang tae.
484. Where does a zombie go when he loses a hand? Answer: On a second hand store!
485. HOST: Which do you prefer: Being Blonde or Being Dumb? Girl: Dumb na lang at least hindi ako mapagkakamalang blonde!
486. Bagong kasal, Bride: hu, hu, hu! Friend: Bakit? Bride: Ang asawa ko, kasing laki ng bote ang ari. Friend: Aba! ang sarap nu’n! Bride: e, bote ng white flower!
487. Love is like a war, easy to begin but hard to end. So when you fall in love, choose the one who is willing to fight the war with you until the end.
488. Kapag nagyelo ang cellphone mo, nasa Alaska ka na. Kapag mainit ang cellphone mo, nasa Africa ka na. Kapag naglangis, nasa Saudi ka na. At kapag nawala ang cellphone mo, welcome to the Philippines!
489. Sweethearts watching the sky... Boy: Bhe, ano ang zodiac sign mo? Girl: Anong zodiac sign? Boy: Parang kapalaran ba, gaya sa akin, Cancer. Girl: Ah, sa akin, almoranas.
490. A man killed a deer and cooked it but doesn't tell kids what it is. He gives a clue, "Ganyan ang tawag sa akin ng mama nyo." The girl cries out: "Huwag nyo kainin, demonyo yan!"
491. Hindi lahat ng magagaling ay nananalo dahil may nandadaya. Hindi lahat ng mataas ang grades ay matalino dahil may nangongopya. Hindi lahat ng cute ay artista, dahil hindi naman ako artista, cute lang talaga!
492. Promdi(P) bumps a foreigner(F). P: Sorry F: Sorry too P: (napaisip) I'm sorry 3. F: What are you sorry 4? P: Sorry 5! (akala mo, bobo ako no?) F: Sorry but you're sick (walks off) P: Six dapat, di ba?
493. Anak: Inay! Inay! Si kuya, mamamatay na! Ina: Susmaryosep! Bakit, anong nangyari? Anak: Nasilip ko po sya sa kwarto, nanginginig, tumitirik ang mata at bumubula ang t***.
494. Bakla at macho, nagkasabay sa cr. Bakla: Ang laki naman nyang sa 'yo. Macho: Wala na 'tong silbi kasi iniwan na ako ng asawa ko. Puputulin ko na ito at ipapakain sa aso! Bakla: Ggrrr! Aw, aw aw!
495. Alam ko, namimiss mo na ako. Ayaw mo lang ipaalam, kaya ako na ang magtetext sa 'yo. You miss me!
496. Noong una, naiilang ako sayo, di ako makalapit, kasi baka di ka friendly. But you proved me wrong. Napakasweet mo pala. Now napatunayan ko na di lahat ng nasa mental, wild!
497. Kagabi napanaginipan kita, nakaupo ka, nag-iisip ng malalim, nakasimangot at nabubugnot. Awang awa ako sa 'yo, gusto kitang suyuin pero natigilan ako, kasi nakita kong nagpupunas ka ng pwet.
498. Once upon a time in a far away land, as in very very far talaga, like it's sobrang layo, really grabe ang layo, may cute na unang unang bumati sa 'yo ng "Good Morning!"
499. Minsan iniisip ko, kung pwede lang sanang huwag nang magmahal, para lang huwag na akong masaktan pa. Kaya lang, pwede ba yun? Eh makita lang kitang nakangiti eh handa na akong masaktang muli.
500. Alam mo, miss na kita. Kaso, sya naman miss mo! Alam mo, mahal kita, kaso sya rin mahal mo! Siya na lang lagi!!! Kahit nasasaktan ka niya, ok lang kasi mahal mo sya! Ang tanga mo noh? Parang ako!
451-463, 496-500: Meyms
487-495: originally posted at kukote meets the beauties
funny text messages
inspirational text messages