Jul 27, 2006

text messages 451 - 500

Update (07/31/06) : Temporarily, you can forward your text message contributions to +639205256928. Kindly introduce yourself on your first contribution so that I can put your name on the contributors' list. Thanks!

451. You may have someone in your heart and in your mind, you may have someone in your dreams and someone in your life but I am your someone when you have no one.

452. A real friend not only goes out with you anywhere you go but also remembers you no matter how busy they are, who takes their time to say, "Hi Friend"

453. I wish I was a tear in your eyes so that I can roll down on your cheeks, touch lips and die happy but if you were a tear in my eyes, I will try hard not to cry coz I'm afraid to lose you.

454. You told me you miss me, but you don't. You told me you care for me but you don't. You told me I'm special but I'm not. Then you told me the truth that you don't love me, I smiled and said, "I know."

455. Alone? I'll be your shadow. Afraid? Stay behind me. Wanna cry? Here's my shoulder. Need a hug? I'll embrace you tightly and say, "Whatever happens, you have me."

456. Why do I text you? It's my choice. It's my way of saying I remember you. Why do I remember you? It's my choice. It proves that I care. Why do I care? I don't know, it's not my choice but my heart's.

457. People like you are found only once in a lifetime. I want to be sure that I'm not going to spend that lifetime looking for another you! I'm happy I met you!

458. I want my eyes to be your eyes so you could see how wonderful you are, I want my heart to be your heart so you could feel how much you mean to me, and I want my ear to be your ear so you could hear me whisper "I love you."

459. We are like pencils, the best part in us is inside, we make marks as we touch other's lives. when we make mistakes, we can erase and we become better as we are sharpened.

460. In love, never put yourself on a situation where you're not sure where you stand in a person's life. Never assume, never expect, so that if they choose to drop you, you have enough strength to move on.

461. I love you so much but you said we're better off as friends. I cried but it didn't help much coz' you love someone new and because of her, you forgot that you once said you love me too. =(

462. Stay humble, be faithful, offer hope, work diligently, fight fairly, live simply, love deeply, give generously, they say, "Bwisit! Kaya ko ba toh?" :)

463. One night the moon said "If he makes you cry then why don't you leave him?" I paused for awhile then looked back at the moon and said "Moon, would you ever leave your sky?"

464. Love is not blind. It sees but it does not mind.

465. Question: Why do Dracula's neighbors hate him? Answer: Because he is a pain in the neck!

466. Are you curious as to where was Viagra originated from? For sure a Filipino coined the word “Viagra”. Just examine the root word.

467. Brand statements of new condoms: Swift condoms - Mighty meaty! Purefoods - Tender juicy! Barney's - A bite full of fun! Max's condoms- Sarap to the bones!

468. 7 days makes 1 week; 7 days of sex makes 1 weak; but no sex in a week makes 1 sick; however, good sex once a week makes 1 seek.

469. Dear God, thank you for making me healthy. Can you also make me sexy? If not, please make all my friends fat. Amen!

470. How good are you in Math? 2/7 + 9- 5/ 4/ 8- 2/ 5- 4/ 12- 8/2. The question: Sa palagay mo, relatives si Fernando Jose at Fernando Poe?

471. How can a woman tell if she’s flat chested? She looks down on her dress and the two bumps she sees are her knees.

472. Sincere apology: If you do not like to read my SMS or don’t like to read or if my messages disturb you, then please don’t hesitate, feel free to throw your cellphone!

473. A Thai surnamed Mongkikimo commited suicide when his Pinay girlfriend Paquita wouldn’t marry him. The girl could not bear her family name “Paquita Mongkikimo”.

474. A true friend is like the shade of a great tree in the noonday heat. Para kang puno ng kampupot.

475. According to Science, man came from monkeys. I beg to disagree. Bakit ikaw, mukhang kabayo?!



476. I believe in everything, love at first sight, happy endings, destiny, fairy tales and even magic. Pero nasaktan ako, tama nga sila, ano? No words can ever define love, kundi "katangahan".

477. I’m restless, I’m depress, I’m lonely, I’m sad and I'm getting crazy all for just two reasons: Narito ako sa gitna ng kagubatan, nag-iisa, tapos low bat pa ang cell ko! nakakabaliw, ‘di ba?!

478. Nurse: Ilan ho ang anak ninyo inang? Patient: 25 po. Nurse: Sus ginoo, ang dami naman! ‘di ka ba gumamit ng pills, condom, iud, withdrawal? Patient: krus my hart, ti** lang talaga!

479. Maganda ka sa tingin ko, mabango ka sa pang-amoy ko, special ka sa puso ko. Kapag ako’y binigo mo, "bilog ang mundo" ang katapat mo.

480. BOY: Pa-good night kiss naman. GIRL: Cheap mo ha, hindi ako nagpapa-kiss sa first date. BOY: E kung sa last date?

481. Ang puso, napapagod din, napapagod maghintay, napapagod magtiis, napapagod magmahal at napapagod ding masaktan. Pagod ka na ba? Pahinga ka muna, hindi naman kailangan na magdamag ang romansa, ‘di ba?

482. JUAN: Pinsan, bumili ako ng hearing aid. PEDRO: Magkano insan? JUAN: Eh, kahapon lang.

483. Patient: Dok, bakit ang tae ko may kasamang plema? Kinakabahan tuloy ako. Dok: ok lang ‘yan. Mas delikado kung pagsinga mo ay may kasamang tae.

484. Where does a zombie go when he loses a hand? Answer: On a second hand store!

485. HOST: Which do you prefer: Being Blonde or Being Dumb? Girl: Dumb na lang at least hindi ako mapagkakamalang blonde!

486. Bagong kasal, Bride: hu, hu, hu! Friend: Bakit? Bride: Ang asawa ko, kasing laki ng bote ang ari. Friend: Aba! ang sarap nu’n! Bride: e, bote ng white flower!

487. Love is like a war, easy to begin but hard to end. So when you fall in love, choose the one who is willing to fight the war with you until the end.

488. Kapag nagyelo ang cellphone mo, nasa Alaska ka na. Kapag mainit ang cellphone mo, nasa Africa ka na. Kapag naglangis, nasa Saudi ka na. At kapag nawala ang cellphone mo, welcome to the Philippines!

489. Sweethearts watching the sky... Boy: Bhe, ano ang zodiac sign mo? Girl: Anong zodiac sign? Boy: Parang kapalaran ba, gaya sa akin, Cancer. Girl: Ah, sa akin, almoranas.

490. A man killed a deer and cooked it but doesn't tell kids what it is. He gives a clue, "Ganyan ang tawag sa akin ng mama nyo." The girl cries out: "Huwag nyo kainin, demonyo yan!"

491. Hindi lahat ng magagaling ay nananalo dahil may nandadaya. Hindi lahat ng mataas ang grades ay matalino dahil may nangongopya. Hindi lahat ng cute ay artista, dahil hindi naman ako artista, cute lang talaga!

492. Promdi(P) bumps a foreigner(F). P: Sorry F: Sorry too P: (napaisip) I'm sorry 3. F: What are you sorry 4? P: Sorry 5! (akala mo, bobo ako no?) F: Sorry but you're sick (walks off) P: Six dapat, di ba?

493. Anak: Inay! Inay! Si kuya, mamamatay na! Ina: Susmaryosep! Bakit, anong nangyari? Anak: Nasilip ko po sya sa kwarto, nanginginig, tumitirik ang mata at bumubula ang t***.

494. Bakla at macho, nagkasabay sa cr. Bakla: Ang laki naman nyang sa 'yo. Macho: Wala na 'tong silbi kasi iniwan na ako ng asawa ko. Puputulin ko na ito at ipapakain sa aso! Bakla: Ggrrr! Aw, aw aw!

495. Alam ko, namimiss mo na ako. Ayaw mo lang ipaalam, kaya ako na ang magtetext sa 'yo. You miss me!

496. Noong una, naiilang ako sayo, di ako makalapit, kasi baka di ka friendly. But you proved me wrong. Napakasweet mo pala. Now napatunayan ko na di lahat ng nasa mental, wild!

497. Kagabi napanaginipan kita, nakaupo ka, nag-iisip ng malalim, nakasimangot at nabubugnot. Awang awa ako sa 'yo, gusto kitang suyuin pero natigilan ako, kasi nakita kong nagpupunas ka ng pwet.

498. Once upon a time in a far away land, as in very very far talaga, like it's sobrang layo, really grabe ang layo, may cute na unang unang bumati sa 'yo ng "Good Morning!"

499. Minsan iniisip ko, kung pwede lang sanang huwag nang magmahal, para lang huwag na akong masaktan pa. Kaya lang, pwede ba yun? Eh makita lang kitang nakangiti eh handa na akong masaktang muli.

500. Alam mo, miss na kita. Kaso, sya naman miss mo! Alam mo, mahal kita, kaso sya rin mahal mo! Siya na lang lagi!!! Kahit nasasaktan ka niya, ok lang kasi mahal mo sya! Ang tanga mo noh? Parang ako!

Contributors:
451-463, 496-500: Meyms
464-486: Jack
487-495: originally posted at kukote meets the beauties

Technorati Tags:


Jul 21, 2006

text messages 401 - 450

Notice (07/25/2006): All text messages submitted on cellphone number provided on this blog were lost because the author's cellphone was stolen. Kindly submit your text messages contributions to the e-mail address provided. New cellphone number will be provided as soon as the author acquired a new cellphone. Sorry for the incovenience.

-----------

401. If you want to know how much God loves you, try to catch every single raindrop. The ones you catch is how much you love God and the ones you miss is how much God loves you.

402. Beautiful one liner... A lot of kneeling will keep us in good standing.

403. What if Belle never loved Beast? Ariel stayed a mermaid? Cinderella never forgot her slipper? Snow White never ate her apple? what if I never met you? Life is not a fairytale, but having you is worth more than any magic that Disney has to offer.

404. Unexpectedly, you came into my life. We started as strangers and doesn't even know that both of us exists. Now that I knew you, I have realized the beauty of expecting the "unexpected".

405. There was a time I fell in love with someone very special. I told myself that I'll never give up on that person, but one day, I did. Why? Finally, I realized, it's time to be kind to myself naman. Masakit eh!

406. God's like a coke, He is the real thing, like Lipovitan, He gets you going, like Metrobank, when you are with Him you are in good hands, and Dunkin Donut, sounds good and loves you even better.

407. You may not need me now, not today, not tomorrow, maybe not ever, but even if for just one moment you feel alone...please remember, I'm just here.

408. You never know who really cares for you until your whole world gets too dark. If you fall into pieces, look at your side, someone is there watching out for your hand, just take it, its mine!

409. If you could be a part of my body, I'll let you be my heart! For I want you to be the one who beats and to be the center of all my emotions and be the last one to stop when im gone.

410. I cried because I don't have a shoe until I saw a man without a feet. Sometimes, we're just too blind to appreciate the things which surround us.

411. I made a painting but it was left in black and white, until I found you. Now it's complete and full of colors. I call this painting of mine, "MY LIFE". Thanks for being part of it.

412. Life is so short to waste time for someone who's unworthy for your love. It's so sad when the right person will not be able to search for you coz you're too busy all your life making the wrong person right for you.

413. May your salty days be peppered with spicy love, may you bask in lemon sunshine, play on strawberry fields under a vanilla sky. Have a yummy morning! Good morning!

414. When life seems so tough, go on. When things go wrong, move on. Bear in mind that God gives you strength to persevere, not to surrender. Take care!

415. I sent my cares to the wind and ask the wind to pass them to you. When you feel the wind blowing against your face, that's me saying, "Alagaan mo ang sarili mo. Lalong lalo na kapag wala na ako sa piling mo."

416. Five reasons why I text you. You make me feel welcome (I assume). I make you smile (I suppose). You appreciate my thoughts (I hope). You spend time reading my message (I guess). You think I'm cute (I'm sure). =)

417. Friends are the best interpreters, coz even in silence, even when nothing is said and even if they don't know what has happened, they don't ask you questions. They just understand!

418. In my life, I learned to love, to smile, to be happy, to be strong, to work hard. But I did not learn how to forget a nice person like you!

419. Wake up! Exercise your faith. Do sit-up with prayer. Do push-up to release stress. Go! Jog to the Lord and send the good news! Good morning!

420. I'm just an ordinary friend na nakilala mo, madaling kalimutan, kasi, hindi naman ako ganun ka-special. But I want you to know, naging part ka ng life ko, ordinary pero full of memory!

421. Embrace a pillow of happy thoughts to create wonderful dreams, a blanket of care to keep you warm all night and a prayer to protect you till the dawn comes. Good night!

422. Don't think too much of the problems in life, they are just test papers given by God to see how much we are learning in His subject called "Life". If you think you failed, don't worry because He is always ready to give remedial classes. So, review through prayers and have the perfect score of "Happiness".

423. Treat everyone with politeness, even those who are rude to you, not because they are not nice, but because you are nice. =)

424. Easiest ways to die: 1. Have a cigar daily, you'll die 10 years early. 2. Have drinks daily, you'll die 30 years early. 3. Love someone you can't call your own, you'll die daily! =(

425. Before you sleep, just gently lay every troubled thought away. Drop your burden and your care in the quiet arms of prayer because God never sleeps. Good night! Sweet dreams.



426. If I'm an ant, pupunta ako sa arms mo, kakagatin kita as hard as I could. Syempre, papatayin mo ako! Then, as I draw my last breath, I'll whisper to your ears, "Sorry ha, nagpaparamdam lang."

427. The secret of being young and gorgeous? Sleep the right amount of rest. Go with the right crowd. Exercise. Eat the right food and be my friend!

428. A guy wanted to lose weight. He went to a diet center. It offered plan A or B. He took plan A. He was then taken to a room wherein a good looking naked girl with a "If you catch me, you can f*ck me!" sign was waiting for him. He never caught her but he lost 50 lbs! After 3 days, he decided to try plan B, thinking that it should be better. Excited, he quickly entered the room. A horse was in the room with a sign that says, "I will f*ck you if I catch you!" Waaaa!

429. Forget mo na lang na nagkakilala tayo ha! Tutal, wala ka namang paki, di ba? Mas mabuti pang magkalimutan na lang tayo. Sawa na rin ako. Pero bago tayo magkalimutan, pwede bang hintayin muna nating maubos ang tubig sa dagat?

430. Two wives shopping at market. Wife1: Mare, alam mo, tuwing makakakita ako ng patatas, naaalala ko ang itlog ng mister ko. Wife2: Oh, talaga? Bakit, ganyan kalaki? Wife1: Ano? Hindi noh, ganyan kadumi!

431. A girl newcomer in hell complained to Satan: "Ang daming cute guys dito, kaya lang, ang liliit ng bird." Satan: "Gaga! Kung malaki yan, eh di para ka ring nasa heaven!"

432. A woman gave birth to quadruplets. Upon seeing her husband, she got out of her hospital bed and slapped him shouting, "Kita mo ang epekto ng dog style!" =)

433. Nasa bangka ka, kasama mo ang syota mong two-timer at yung bestfriend mong backfighter nang biglang lumubog yung bangka. Anong una mong sasagipin, yung bangka o yung sagwan? =)

434. I believe that God created me to be your friend, He picked me out from all the rest coz He knows I'm the best! Ehem. Don't argue with God, bad yun!

435. Sabi nila, ang taong maingay, bolero sa text. Tahimik, makulit sa text. Two-timer, sweet sa text. Stick to one, matipid sa text. Pero ang mga cute, eto, patext-text!

436. Sa pag-aasawa daw ng tao, dapat nating tularan ang ibon na bago raw magpamilya, meron nang nakahandang pugad. Kaya kung ikaw ay mag-aasawa, huwag ka nang magpagawa ng bahay. Pugad na lang, mas mura pa! =)

437. Magandang gabi po. Magtatanong lang po. Totoo po ba po na ang mga cute daw po ay magagalang po?

438. Tatay: Anak, painumin mo ang kalabaw! Anak: Opo tay! Anak: Tay, ayaw uminom ng kalabaw eh! Tatay: Saan mo ba inilagay? Anak: Sa baso! Tatay: Sus! Katangang bata! Lagyan mo ng straw.

439. Baka gusto mong magparamdam? Kasi, nakakainis ka! Gabi na eh, kanina pa kita hinihintay, hindi ka pa nagpaparamdam. Anong klaseng aswang ka?! Hindi ka marunong manakot! Good night!

440. Ang tunay na cute, once in a lifetime lang magpapakita. Kaya kapag dumaan sa 'yo, aba! Tawagin mo! At sabihin mong, "kukote," saan ka pupunta? Dito ka muna, tabi tayo!

441. Alam mo friend, mahal na mahal kita. To the point na kapag nakita kong dinapuan ka ng lamok sa mukha, tatagain ko yung lamok! I swear! Malakas ka sa akin eh!

442. Minsan, mali tayo sa napili nating mahalin. Nasaktan sa maling pagmamahal, umiyak sa maling dahilan. At kung tatanungin mo ako? Wala akong alam dyan, kasi, kakagising ko lang. Good morning!

443. Bitoy: Dagul, bakit ang pandak mo? Dagul: Kasi, bata pa lang ako, ulila na ako. Bitoy: Anong kaugnayan nun sa pagiging pandak mo? Dagul: Sira pala ulo mo! Wala ngang nagpalaki sa akin!

444. Driver: Hoy, tambay! Aatras ko BMW ko ha, sabihan mo ako kung mabubunggo na! Tambay: Ok. Sige, atras... Atras pa! Sige, atras pa! Atras pa! BOG! Ok, bunggo na! =)

445. Ina: Anak, dumudugo ang daliri mo! Akina't sisipsipin ko, dali! Tsup! Tsup! Ayan, wala na. Saan ka ba nasugatan, anak? Anak: Wala po akong sugat, pinatay ko lang po ang garapata ni Brownie!

446. Naranasan mo na bang magmahal at masaktan dahil iniwan ka nya? Tapos, bigla kayong nagkita, nginitian ka at nasabi mo sa sarili mo, "Bakit ganun? Iisa na lang ang ngipin nya, gumagalaw pa kapag tumatawa?"

447. Gaano man kalalim ang ilog, dagat o karagatan, lagi mo sanang tatandaan, hanggang dibdib lang ng duck yan! =)

448. Bakit hindi lalake ang nanganganak? Eh paano mo nga naman palalabasin dun ang bata? Ano yun, parang toothpaste?

449. Masarap titigan ang taong mahal mo at isiping magkasama kayo. Masayang managinip, masayang mangarap, pero mas masaya sana kung habang tumititig ka, naghuhubad sya, di ba? hehehe

450. Define Agony: It's like a one-armed man hanging at the edge of a cliff by his only arm with his butt devastatingly itchy. Define Doom: Kinamot nya! =)


Contributors:

401-402: Jay Menes (0927348***8)
403-405: Chen (ingenious*******@yahoo.com)
406-412: Meyms
413-418: Joan
419-420: Major
421: Erlyn
422: Ning
423: Abet (0917866***0)
424, 427-434: Erica
425: Jack
426: 0920240***0
435-437: Deejayz
438-447: Tekla
448-450: Tin

Technorati Tags:


Jul 14, 2006

text messages 351 - 400

351. It's hard to trust and it's hard to cry. It's hard to love and later say goodbye... but it's much harder to say no, but that is life's way of making our hearts grow.

352. You are the one person in this world that I would never trade with anyone else. You've given me memories so unique in you and what else?! Guess they'll never understand unless they get the chance to get to know you.

353. Deep friendship doesn't depend on how many times friends spend time together or how happy they are. It's the time when you never see them and yet keep on believing that the friendship will stay.

354. Having been committed to love someone means losing the opportunity of having others love you. So, be sure that the person you're committed to deserves your love and is worthy of your sacrifice.

355. Love isn't about two people holding each other and never letting go. It's about two people holding hands while they embrace the world and go through the best and worst in life.

356. Life is a one-way street. No matter how many detours you take, none of them leads back. So, enjoy its every moment as none of them will happen the same way again.

357. If ever you'll find someone who makes you smile through storms, comfort you till sun down, face the fact. Keep and never let go of that person. There's no right one when the real one comes along.

358. When the time comes when everything seems hopeless, here's what you do: SHUT UP & STOP WHINING sheesh! You've got me. Remember?!

359. No quote can tell you what's inside my heart, they just express what I feel, but never enough, so when I say "I care for you" huwag ka maniwala, 'coz what I feel is more than what I say.

360. I wonder why just when i learned to wait, it was when you never came. I wonder just when I learned to laugh, you made me cry. And just when I've learned to love you so much, it was when you walk away.

361. No one is born happy but all of us are born with the ability to create happiness. Just remember, happiness is a state of mind and it depends on one's attitude towards life. :)

362. When trials come we tend to ask, LORD, WHY ME? But blessings pour on us each day and we never ask LORD, WHY ME? Let's learn to say, THANK GOD IT'S ME!

363. Life's pretty simple. When you're asking for apples and life hands you lemons, make lemonade. If you're on your way out and it starts to rain, at least you won't have to water the plants anymore. It's a matter of seeing things in perspective. The benefits may not be immediate nor obvious, but you have to know this for sure: God will never give you anything you can't handle.

364. Happiness is somewhere between too little and too much. May you have just enough wealth to meet your needs, enough poverty to learn to work hard, enough blessings to know that God loves you, enough problems so you don't forget Him. Enough happiness to keep you sweet, enough trials to keep you strong, enough hope to keep you happy, and enough sorrow to keep you human. =)

365. Whatever gives you laughter, do it more often coz it will bring lightness to your heart, energy to your body, and wonders to your soul. ALways be happy! =)

366. The true meaning of GLOBALIZATION: Princess Diana, a Welsh princess, with an English husband, crashed in a French tunnel while riding in a German car with a Dutch engine driven by a Belgian who was drunk on Scottish whisky, chased by Italian paparazzi on Japanese motorcycles, treated by an American doctor using Brazilian medicines. This message was created by a Filipino on a Finnish celphone smuggled from China by a Pakistani and sold by an Indian businessman. =)

367. To Whom It May Concern: Please be notified that the most beautiful creation of God is preparing to sleep... Send your greetings now while she's still awake. Good night! :)

368. If life is a band showdown, I would be your bandmate. I would strum, hit the drums, or maybe even sing for you! Why? Coz it's just fun to do it for someone who makes my gig worth playing. =)

369. Ever wonder why the sun LIGHTENS our hair, but DARKENS our skin? Why is it that to STOP Windows 98, you have to click START? Why is 'ABBREVIATED' such a long word? Why is it that doctors call what they do PRACTICE? Why is the man who invests all your money called BROKER?

370. People continue to get their goals inspite of pain, tears, heartbreaks, because pain made them strong, tears made them brave, heartbreak made them wise.

371. Never say you're happy when you're really sad. Never say you're fine when you're not ok. Never say you feel good when you feel bad and never say you're alone when you still have me.

372. Whenever I make your phone beep, I know that at one part you've uttered "Ikaw lang pala." and I couldn't blame you for that. But at anytime, I just want you to know that this "lang" cares for you so much.

373. Don't take for granted every person close to your heart, coz you might wake up one day and realize that you have lost a diamond coz you were too busy searching and collecting stones.

374. When I was walking alone, I wished that I can reach the end of the road. But when you walked with me, I wish the road would never end because I would rather be lost with you than to reach the end without you.

375. Walk with me when you feel your heart needs company. Take my hand when you feel all alone. Turn to me when you need someone to lean on coz I'm a friend you can always depend on.



376. Erap to Taxi: To the airport hurry! 1st sign airport 50m, 2nd sign airport 10m, 3rd sign airport Left! Erap: You stupid, you're too slow, the airport already left!

377. Ang kaibigan ay parang ebak, mainit at malambot, mahirap tiisin, hindi mo magawang tapakan sapagkat madikit. Parang ikaw, hindi kita kayang tiisin at saktan. Have a nice day ebs!

378. If you need me, you know how to call me. Just shout "DYOSA NG KAGANDAHAN!" I'll be there for you. Don't abuse it ha? For emergency use only!!!

379. I'm sure you were born in this world as a cute baby. Now that you're grown up, I have one question, Ano ba talagang nangyari??!

380. A friend is: 1% funny 2% sweet 3% caring 4% loving 90% good looking. Akong ako, di ba? Huwag ka nang kumontra. Piso ko to! =)

381. Ang araw gumigising kasabay mo; ang ulap kumakaway sa mga ngiti mo; kahit anong oras mag-beep ang cell ko, ngingiti ako pag galing sa 'yo.

382. Ang gabi ay itim, sa labas ay madilim. Tumingin ka man, cguradong madilim. Buksan mo man ang yong mga mata, kulay itim. Nangangahulugan, ang madilim ay itim. HUh?

383. Ang tunay na friend, ipagmamalaki mo, nakasuporta sa 'yo, hindi ka ibabagsak, komportable ka, mahigpit ang kapit at malapit sa puso mo... parang bra.

384. Salesgirl: Sir, you can't smoke here. Customer: But I bought these cigars from your store. Salesgirl: We sell condoms also, but it doesn't mean that you can f*ck here.

385. Sa ngayon, malayo tayo sa isa't isa, hindi tayo nagkikita, at alam kong namimiss mo din ako. Pero tandaan mo, kung gusto mo akong makita, tingin ka sa taas, baka sakaling makita mo ang billboard ko.

386. Bakit "S" ang nasa costume ni Superman? Wala na kasing medium! Napansin mo, fit masyado, di ba? Hehehe.

387. Nobody teaches a fish to swim, or a squirrel to run and climb a limb. Nobody teaches an owl to say "whoo". Nobody teaches a cat to say "meow." Kasi, wala silang teacher.

388. Sa lahat ng nakakakilala kay Mahal, pray for her, na malayo sya sa peligro. Nasa hospital sya ngayon, nasa ICU, inooperahan. Nabangga sya ng trak. trak-trakan. =)

389. I want to divorce my wife, she hasn't spoken to me in six months! Lawyer: Better think it over, wives like that are very hard to find!

390. Nanay: Anak, bili ka nga ng asin. Puchoi: Ayoko po, madilim na. Nanay: Huwag kang matakot, kasama mo naman si Jesus eh. Puchoi: Si Jesus na lang po ang utusan nyo. =)

391. Hi! Ano gawa mo? Me, I'm propagating a unicameral form of idiosyncrasy occuring malevolently in meritorious piece of clasterubial brain. In short, nakatunganga! =)

392. A girl phone a guy, "Come on over, there's nobody home..." When the guy got there, there was nobody home. Hahaha!

393. Huwag kang malulungkot o magdaramdam kapag ika'y nag-iisa. Sapagkat sa mata ng duling, lahat tayo ay dalawa. Hangga't may duling, hindi ka nag-iisa!

394. Boss: Bakit ka nanginginig? Sec: Sorry sir, ngayon lang ako nakapasok sa motel. Boss: Saan kaya ang remote ng aircon? Sec: Dyan, nakatago sa gilid ng drawer, bandang kanan, kulay gray. =)

395. Kung ang kaibigan ng nanay mo ay pinsan ng kapatid ng kapitbahay ng tiyahin ng pinsan mo sa side ng tatay ng tiyahin na kapatid ng tatay mo, ano naman ang pakialam mo? =)

396. May 7 baboy sa 1 box. Sa box na yun, may 23 pairs na pato at isang sisiw. Yung sisiw, may nakain na 56 na bulate, tapos may 5 ibon. Ang tanong: Musta na u?!

397. GF ni kukote ito. Pwede bang tigilan mo na ang pagtetext sa BF ko?! Dahil sa ganyan, napapabayaan na nya ang pag-aartista nya! Fan ka ba nya? Ha? =)

398. Life is short, live it! Love is rare, grab it! Anger is bad, dump it! Fear is awful, face it! Memories are sweet, cherish it! Sender is cute, admit it! =)

399. Titiisin na sana kita, iiwasan at kakalimutan, kahit saglit, kahit mahirap, kakayanin, pipilitin. Pero balewala rin pala, hindi ko pala kaya. Kasi, naka-unlimited ako. Dapat, sinasamantala. =)

400. Sa pagdaan ko sa daan ng buhay, alam ko na hindi ako matitisod sa mga lubak ng daan. Dahil may kaibigan akong kagaya mo para sabihin sa akin na "May hump, may hump, may hump, may hump, may hump. Check it out!"

Contributors:

351-360: Jamie
361-369, 381-382: Mei
370-380: Meyms
383-393: Erica
394-395: Tin
396: Joan
397-398: Jack
399: Tekla
400. Ning

Jul 10, 2006

text messages 301 - 350

301. Be a person full of love and life, stay simple yet happy. When things go wrong, don't go blue, just say, "I will get thru." And always remember, God loves you. Take care!

302. A smile is a language even a baby can understand, it costs nothing, but it credits much. It happens in a flash but the memory of it may forever last. Keep smiling.

303. Good friends are those who care without hesitation, who remembers without limitation, and who remains the same even text lang ang communication.

304. Hope you wake up today with sunlight in your heart, success in your path, answers to your prayers and smile that will always be there in your eyes. Good morning!

305. God created mornings so that we can say how great the previous day has been, and how wonderful the next 24 hours would be. Let God rule you today! Good morning!

306. When God opened the window, He saw me and asked, "What is your wish for today?" I said, "Lord, just take care of the person who's reading this message right now." Good afternoon!

307. God set a place for you in his heart and not in the world because the world is temporary but in God's heart, you are favored and blessed forever. Good morning! Take care!

308. If you lose something, you lose it for a reason. That reason might be hard to understand, but whatever it is, you just have to believe that God takes away when He has something better to give.

309. When you feel tired and alone, just tell me. Eventhough my hands can't hold you, my feet may not be able to run to you, my voice may not reach you, but my knees are always here to pray for you.

310. It is better to cry than to be angry, because anger hurts others while tears flow silently thru the soul and cleanses the heart.

311. No man is worth a woman's tears. And the one who is, will never make her cry.

312. You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.

313. The human mind is very complex, it plays with the emotion resulting to confusion, and sometimes, madness. The former I can take, but the latter, I am not sure. Nevermind. Good night!

314. A man with a knife came to me and asked, "Would you die for your friends?" Hindi nya lang alam, may gun ako kaya I shot him saying: "No, I'd kill for them." Kaya nyo yun? =)

315. Galileo: great mind. Einstein: genius mind. Newton: extra-ordinary mind. Bill Gates: brilliant mind. You and me: never mind! As long as we are friends, I don't mind!

316. Last night, I couldn't sleep. I wanted you warm against my skin. I wanted you on me. I wanted to feel you all over my body. But i couldn't find you! Where did I put my pyjamas?

317. Life is so short for drama and petty problems; so kiss slowly, laugh insanely and forgive quickly. Life is too short to be anything but happy.

318. Never regret the choices you've made, always be satisfied with what you have now. Life isn't perfect. It's a blend of joy and sorrow, it's just a matter of how you deal with it.

319. Sometimes we wish we were small, wish we were somewhere, wish we had something. But sometimes we wish too much that we miss to enjoy who we are, where we are and what we have.

320. To be kind is more important than to be right. Sometimes all a person need is not a brilliant mind that speaks but a patient heart that listens.

321. Each of us has a star that shines with the rest, sometimes we twinkle alone, but when you feel you're about to lose your own spark, I'm here to share my glow.

322. I may be gone for a minute, second, hours and for a day, but I will always be here for you. I might not be able to greet you "gud am", "gud pm" or "gudnyt", but I will never say goodbye!

323. I'd like to wrap my arms around you, squeeze you till your eyes pop out and all your bones break and your face turns blue. That's my hug for you, not sweet but breath taking naman, good morning!

324. In times of trouble, or when you feel that no one cares for you, don't forget that whenever a tear falls from your eyes, two tears fall from mine, that's how much I care.

325. Ikaw ang bagoong sa kare-kare kong buhay, ang sampalok sa sinigang kong buhay, at suka sa paksiw kong buhay, kung ika'y mawawala, buhay ko'y tatabang!



326. Sometimes, caring is better than loving. Sometimes, tea is better than coffee. Sometimes, smile is better than laughter, but nobody is better than you, finding time to text me.

327. Boy: Nay! Muntik na akong maging top 1 sa klase! Nanay: Bakit mo naman nasabi yan? Boy: Iniannounce kasi kanina yung top 1 sa klase, ang itinuro ni Ma'am, yung katabi ko! Muntik na ako!

328. Eh busy? Eh busy D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z. Galing noh? Want to? Want to 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10. Galing talaga!

329. It's you who gave me sleepless nights. It's you who made me wanna hold my pillow tight. It's you who made me pray so hard. It's you who made me scream: "Nay, may mumu!"

330. Boy: Can I touch your software? Girl: Show me first your hardware. Boy: Can I install it in your system? Girl: Ok, if you cover it with anti-virus first. =)

331. Paano kung masaya ka na sa kasalukuyan, tapos, isang araw, binalikan ka ng nakaraan. Alin ang iiwan mo? Yung ngayon na unggoy ka na? O yung una na mukhang dinosaur ka pa? Hehe!

332. An alcoholic son wrote a letter... Beer dad, Gin na ako iinom ulit, Whisky kelan. Tanduay mo yan, tiTequilan ko na talaga, pRhumis po! Your San, Miguel.

333. People are always looking for cute ones, the perfect ones, the gorgeous ones, the smart ones, the sweet ones. Lagi na lang ako! Ako! Ako!

334. Love is like a can of tuna. Know why? Kasi, ang love, kapag nagstart, gagawin mo lahat mapasaiyo lang ang taong mahal mo. Yung can of tuna, wala yun, kalimutan mo na lang yun!

335. Pasahero: Mama, dahan-dahan lang po. Alalahanin n’yo na palaging nakasunod sa atin ang disgrasya! Mamang driver: e, kaya ko nga binibilisan para ‘di tayo maabutan!

336. Q: Ano ang pagkakatulad ni Winnie the Pooh at John the Baptist? A: iisa ang ina nila. Kita mo, iisa ang middle name nila?!

337. Essence of smell in life: Lotion for babies, cologne for the 20's, perfume for the 30's, efficacent oil for the 40's and 50's. Bawang and luya for the 60's. Beyond that, formalin na!

338. Love is unfair, kapag mahal mo, ayaw sayo. Yung ayaw mo, mahal ka. Pero mas unfair sa part ng okra. Kawawa naman sya, kasi di sya kasama sa "Bahay Kubo." Gulay din naman sya, di ba?

339. When you're sad, I'm lonely. When you're happy, I'm glad. Remember that whatever you feel, i feel it twice, so kung feel mo cute ka, Hello?! eh di lalo na ako!! :)

340. Erap: Sumuko na kayo! MILF: Hindi kami susuko kapag hindi mo naispell ang ceasefire! Erap: Sige, T*ngna nyo! Tuloy ang gyera!

341. Boss: (galit) Ang gusto ko sa secretary ay listo at hindi absent minded. Napahiya ako sa meeting ko dahil sa kagagawan mo! Secretary: Sorry po sir, hindi ko naisara ang zipper nyo!

342. Siguro, minsan kailangang madapa. Bakit? Wala lang, para agaw eksena lang. Hehe!

343. Peaceful morning as you wake up. Take a bath, eat breakfast, brush teeth, comb your hair, leave the house, take a ride. Aaayy! Wala ka pa palang damit! Balik! Balik! =)

344. Always remember, whe she cancels a date, it is because she "has to." But when he cancels a date, it is because he "has two!" Hahaha!

345. Love is a hidden fire, a pleasant sore, a soothing pain, an agreeable torment, a sweet wound, in short, a gentle death! Ang lalim! Dati, love is blind lang!

346. Juan: Pedro, nasaksak ako! Walang hinto ang tagas ng dugo. Please, call me a nurse. Call me a nurse, bilis! Pedro: Sige, you're a nurse! Nurse ka Juan! You're a nurse! Nurse kah!

347. Mga tisoy at tisay, mga gwapo at magaganda, mga muse at escort, mga cute, mga crush ng bayan, ang "leader" nyo ay matutulog na! Hehehe! Ang magreact, insecure! Good night! =)

348. Pedro: Saan ka galing, p're? Berto: Sementeryo, libing ng byenan ko. Pedro: Bakit puro kalmot ang mukha at braso mo? Berto: Mahirap ilibing eh, lumalaban! =)

349. Naguguluhan ako. Di ba, yung Victory Liner, Pascual Liner, Alfonso Liner at G Liner, mga bus yun? Yung Panty Liner, bus din ba yun? Saan naman ang byahe nila?

350. Kapag mahal mo ang isang tao, pakawalan mo sya, at kapag bumalik sya, kayo talaga para sa isa't isa. Pero kung hindi na sya bumalik, tanga! Habulin mo, naniwala ka naman sa quotes! =)


Contributors:

301-302: May
303-307: Joan
308-309, 330-334: Deejayz
310: Tsina
311-315, 350: Erica
316-321: Jamie
322-326: Meyms
327: Lukin
328-329: Major
335-337: Jack
338-339: Elivazeth (fmp*********@yahoo.com)
340-341: Erlyn
342-345: Tin
346-349: Tekla

Jul 5, 2006

text messages 271 - 300

Announcement: Now you can subscribe to this blog via e-mail. You will receive an e-mail notification once this blog is updated. See the subscription box on the sidebar.

------

Note: These are contributions I received via e-mail. I'll post the text messages I received on my cellphone next week. God bless.


271. Whenever you want to know how rich you are, don't count your money. Just drop tears from your eyes and look around the number of hands that reach out to wipe your tears.

272. It's really hard to wait for the right person in your life especially when the wrong ones are so cute!

273. What if you love the wrong person? Are you going to give up or hold on? Maybe you need to do nothing, just continue loving. Who knows? Maybe that love might be enough to make that person the right one.

274. I can never say how my life would go and how long I'd stay alive. All I know is that even we're miles apart, you'd always be one of the sweetest piece of puzzle completing my life.

275. Masarap magmahal kung ikaw lang ang mahal nya. Masarap magmahal kung talagang seryoso sya. Pero wala nang mas sasarap pa kung sasabihin nya, "Alam mo, kuntento na ko sayo..."

276. I may not be there when you need me, but a part of me laughs when you're happy and cries when you're sad, the other part stays strong to pray for you. That's the best thing a far friend can do.

277. Mahirap idaan sa walang kibo. Mahirap idaan sa walang salita. Mahirap idaan sa pag-iyak. Kung mahal mo sya, bakit di mo sabihin sa kanya? Malay mo? Malay ko din! :)

278. The moment you found someone that makes your heart beat, stop the search and take the risk. Remember that the world is a big place that if you lost the one you love, you have to search the world again.

279. Hindi mo raw agad malalamang mahal mo na ang isang tao, madalas kasi bulag ka sa totoo at akala mo iba ang gusto mo. Pero sa huli, mararamdaman mong mahal mo na pala sya, kapag nalaman mong... iba na ang mahal niya.

280. I had a wet dream about you last night .... I pissed myself laughing when you fell of a cliff!

281. Come here. Take off your pants and get on top of me. Enjoy me until you're totally satisfied. Lovingly yours, Toilet!!!!

282. Mirror Mirror on the wall. Who's the fairest of them all? The mirror laughed and then it spat. "It sure ain't you. You ugly prat!"

283. Tell me. Is it going in? Yeah! Is it hurting? Ooh yeah, Ouch! it's hurting! Ok, I will put it in slowly. Still hurting? Ahh yeah. Then let's try the other shoe, madam.

284. When I look at the sun, I see you! When I look at the moon, I see you! When I look at the sea, I see you. Well, get out of my way!

285. It goes in dry, it comes out wet. The longer it's in, the stronger it gets. We can have it in bed, just you and me. It's not what you think, it's a cup of tea!



286. Last night, I wanted you. I needed you so badly that it hurts. I wanted to taste you. I wanted you in me so you could work your magic on me, but I couldn't find you. You stupid.. paracetamol!

287. I only have *ex on days that begin with T: Thanksgiving. Tuesday. Thursday. Today. Tomorrow. Thaturday. thunday.. Tevery day!

288. There are many things about tomorrow I don't understand, but I know who holds tomorrow and I know He holds our hands. To Him I pray that He’d hold yours tighter and always let your days be brighter.

289. Friendship is like a song that after we hear it, we still hum the melody as we live through life. You're my song that never runs out of tune in my heart.

290. Life is unpredictable. You may not live long and miss out telling your friends that they're appreciated. So I'm telling you now that life won't be the same without you as one of my friends.

291. I've tried the water company, the electric company, the telephone company, but what I miss most is your company. Take care!

292. At times you may not find me, but in my heart, you will always be found. If time never stands still, I will never leave your side, it may be hard for me, but I will still hang in here for you.

293. Don’t love the person that you think is right. Instead love the person you think is true. It’s easier to think what is right than to see what is true.

294. There are eight ways to describe you… jolly, optimist, kyut, exotic, lovable, attractive, nice, gorgeous! In short J-O-K-E L-A-N-G!

295. You are my funny, understanding, cute, kind, intelligent, naughty, God-fearing, sweet, honest, independent, truthful friend. In short, you are my f.u.c.k.i.n.g.s.h.i.t. friend!

296. Sa magkakaibigan, dapat nagtutulungan. Kapag nadapa ka, tutulungan kita! Kapag nadapa ka ulit, itatayo kita at kapag nadapa ka na naman, sisipain na kita! Langya! Kinarir mo nah, lampa!

297. Q: What’s the difference between bathing suits before and now? A: Before, you have to open the suit to see the butt. Now, you have to open the butt to see the suit!

298. In the desert, man trying to rape a camel, but he was kicked. Then he saw a beautiful lady asking for water. "As payment you can do anything you want." Man said, "Could you hold the feet of the camel?"

299. Si miss, first time nagpa-physical check-up. DOC: O iha, huwag kang mahiya sa akin, hubarin mo na damit mo para maumpisahan ko na ang physical check up mo. MISS: umhh… si dok naman.. sige na nga, pero kayo muna.

300. Naglalakad, nagtetext, nasagasaan, patay. Kumakain, nagtetext, nabilaukan, patay. Nagdadrive, nagtetext, nabangga, patay. May cellphone, walang nagtetext, nagpakamatay.


Contributors:

271-272: Mohan Subhashree (mohan@subh********dia.com)
273-279: Karmi
280-287. Jamie
288-292. Meyms
293-300. Jack

Jul 3, 2006

text messages 221 - 270

221. It could take a thousand workers to build a castle, a million soldiers to protect its country, but it only takes one man to build a happy home.

222. It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.

223. Hearts are easily torn but can also be sewn together by someone who cares. Though the scars won't fade, the stitches will always be there to remind you that someone loves you enough to keep you whole again.

224. Can I keep you and never let you go? Can I hold your hand and hug you tight? Can I tell the world how lucky I am to have you in my life? Or simply, can you be my friend for the rest of my life?

225. When you find faults from someone you love, hold on, don't judge nor doubt but trust and understand that someone is doing best to love you more. Remember, love has nothing to explain.

226. I've always wanted to be free, to fly away and never return... but then, somewhere beyond that, I wish to be owned, to be held, and never be let go.

227. Day and night are linked in a way that few things are; there cannot be one without the other, yet they cannot exist at the same time. How would it feel to be always together yet forever apart?

228. "It's not that I'm so smart, it's just that I stay with the problems longer." - Albert Einstein.

229. Every morning, please leave your worries outside your gate's doorstep, because that is where they pick-up the garbage. May all your days be worry-free. God bless!

230. Maybe today, you got hurt, cried, troubled, angry or just plain bored. Whatever it was, remember that tomorrow is another day and today will surely pass. Good night!

231. 50 years from now, I'd be so old, I might forget you. I might not remember ever knowing you, or might forget I once cared for you. I might... But I won't.

232. I'll lend you my shoulder for you to cry on, my ears to listen to, my hand for you to hold, my feet to walk with you, but I can't lend you my heart coz it already belongs to you.

233. Falling in love with you is the second best thing in the world... Finding you is the first!

234. How would you know if he really loves you? It's when you scream, he's calm. When you slap him, he kisses you. When you cry, he hugs you. When you tell him you hate him, he tells you he loves you!

235. There are tulips in my garden, there are tulips in the park, but nothing is more beautiful than our two lips meeting in the dark!

236. People seldom say 'I love you' and when they do, it's either too late or the love is gone. But when I say 'I love you' it doesn't mean you have to stay, but I wish you'd never go away.

237. The best part of loving is not wishing that the person loves you as much as you do, but in the feeling that you love the person for more than you thought you could.

238. To love someone is supposed to be the most wonderful feeling. It should inspire you ang give you joy and strength, but sometimes the things that give you joy can also hurt you in the end.

239. It is really painful to say goodbye to someone you don't want to let go, but it is even more painful to ask the person to stay even if you can never make it work out the way it should be.

240. Saying goodbye makes you realize how much you love, how much you will miss and how much loss you had... knowing that the person will never be yours at all.

241. If you feel love in your heart, you are blessed by God, and if you share with others the love you have in your heart, you become a blessing from God. Good morning!

242. Let go of the hand of the person you love, but don't let go of God's hand for when you hold His hand, He might be holding the person you love on His other hand to let you hold each other in time.

243. True love covers the eyes to see no wrong. True love darkens reason to consider every situation. True love loves more when it hurts much. True love is still true even to the point of letting go. =(

244. In our life, there will come a time in where we will hate it because of the things that hurt us but we should never give the blame to our lives because whatever! Waah! Hirap mag-english! Good morning na lang!

245. A train is about to crash! A frantic virgin strips off and says, "Can anyone make me feel like a woman before I die?" So a man takes off his clothes and says, "Iron these!"



246. From the moment I saw you, I wanted to be inside you, I love your smell, the way your tongue feels, the way you tighten and loosen, mmmmmmm... new shoes!!!

247. Someday you may lose your hair. You may lose your teeth, your money and even lose your mind. But one thing you will never loose is your good looks, coz you can't lose what you don't have!

248. Friendship is like peeing in your pants. Everyone can see it but only you can feel its true warmth. Thank you for being the pee in my pants. =)

249. Jack & Jill went up the hill to have a little fun. But stupid Jill forgot the pill and now they have a son.

250. He came to me one night... explored my body... licked, sucked, swallowed and had his fill... when satisfied he left... I was hurt... damn mosquito!

251. In the morning I do not eat because I think of you. At noon I do not eat because I think of you. In the evening I do not eat because I think of you, and at night I do not sleep because Im hungry.

252. Viagra now available in eye drops! You don't get an erection but you look hard!

253. I love the way it rubs against the soft pink flesh creating a creamy foamy liquid, as it thrust in and out, up and down, can't wait till next time. I love my toothbrush!

254. What's the closest thing to a woman's period? Your salary! It comes once a month, lasts about 3 or 4 days and if it doesn't come, everyone's in trouble!

255. What did one butt cheek say to the other butt cheek? If we stick together, we can stop this shit! =)

256. There was a mommy fish who got seperated from her baby fish. When they saw each other again after a very long time, the mommy fish said to the baby fish: isda you? Boink!

257. A few good quotes: 1. Nobody dies a virgin, life fucks us all; 2. I was born brilliant, education ruined me; 3. Don't drink water, fishes fuck in it. =)

258. A priest lost his parrot, asked during mass. Anyone got a bird? All men stood up. I mean, anyone seen a bird? All women stood up. I mean, anyone seen my bird? All nuns stood up!

259. Love is like a bowl of oatmeal; warm, mushy and good for you. Lust is like soup, it is only good when it is hot. =)

260. Wishing you the warmth, happiness and goodwill of the season and all the best that new year can bring, Merry Christmas!... Walang pakialamanan! Load ko to! =) Note: Must be sent when it's not Christmas season, hehehe!

261. Nakaamoy si ngongo ng pabango sa isang tindahan. Ngongo: Ale, mango! Ale: Pabango yan, hindi alimango! Ngongo: Ale, mango! Nag-agawan sila at nabasag ito. Ngongo: Ale, masag!

262. Ganoon ba talaga kapag hindi ka na kailangan? Bigla ka na lang mawawalan ng puwang sa puso ng isang tao. Masasaktan ka tapos maiisip mo, "Paano nya ako nagawang saktan?! Eh hindi naman sya kasarapan." =)

263. Nakatakas si Erap, FVR at GMA sa mga terorista at nagtago sa mga sako sa isang farm. Terorista1: Anong nakita mo dyan? Terorista2: Mga sako lang. Terorista1: Tingnan mo ang laman! Sinipa ng terorista ang unang sako, "Meow", sabi ni FVR! Terorista2: Pusa! Sinipa ang pangalawang sako, "Aw aw!" sabi ni GMA! Terorista2: Aso! Sinipa ang ikatlong sako... Walang tunog kaya sinapa uli ito nang sinipa ng terorista. Dahil sa sakit ng sipa, napasigaw na si Erap. "Patatas!"

264: "Nardo" Tila bebot kung maglakad, nakisabay sa akin, ako'y napatingin sa dalagang nakabalot ng hiwaga. Mapapansin kaya, Adam's apple na namamaga. Kung naloko mo sila, naku lagot at nakilala pa. Koro: Sigaw na nananawagan, baka sakali tol matulungan. Multong baklang iniiwasan, sa pera na lang dinadaan. Nag-aabang ng langit, pati sa CR, naninilip. Sa likod ng mga kwarta, kahit kiss lang daw papa!

265. Sa tuwina'y naaalala ka. Sa pangarap, laging kasama ka. Ikaw ang alaala, sa aking pag-iisa, wala nang... kasunod yan! Matutulog na ako! (-_-)

266. When someone annoys you, it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown, but it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and slap the idiot on the face! Whapak! =)

267. Sun is now up smiling in the sky! The city is alive again with the divine guidance. Good morning mga fans! Your idol is now awake! Pwede nang magtext! =)

268. Prayer of the romantically disfranchised delusional or merely hopeful: "Lord, kung sya na, please let everything fall into place. Pero kung hindi sya, eh Lord, pwede bang sya na lang?" =)

269. Pedro: Miss, magkano serbisyo mo? GRO: 500 sa kama, 300 sa sofa, 200 sa sahig at 100 sa damuhan. Pedro: Sige, 500! GRO: Wow, bigatin! Isang beses sa kama? Pedro: Hindi! 5 beses sa damuhan!

270. There are 70 ways to make a woman happy. Number one is shopping, and the rest is 69! hahaha!


Contributors:

221-222: Evi
223: Deejayz
224: Joan
225-230, 256-260: Erica
231-240: Meyms
241:Tekla
242-244: Lojik
245-254: Jamie
255: Erlyn
261: May
262-268: Tin
269-270: +63920240***0